It's extremely hard to eat healthy when your hubby doesn't.
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My husband would not respond well if I told him what he is and isn't allowed to do. I'm not his mom or boss. And I'd hate for him to tell me what I am allowed to do.
I feel for you though, my super skinny husband eats cookies every night after dinner. I don't want to cut him off from cookies since he can afford the calories so we comprimise - he's only allowed to buy cookies that that I don't like and therefore aren't tempted to eat!
I do the same thing to my husband, I love chips and he wants to buy chips he has to buy Doritos, it's the only kind I don't like lol
He does it because he loves me. If he can have his chips and not tempt me a the same time, that's what he will do.0 -
I stopped buying unhealthy foods for the most part it's been a gradual process.I just fade things out...so he eats whatever I cook. I did not cut out everything but mostly switched to whole grains and wheat instead. Instead of white rice I cook brown rice and the only thing that gets fried is plantain.0
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All of you people saying negative things like "take responsibility for your own intake" and "sounds like an excuse, just blame the husband" really need to get a life. I'm not even married, and sometimes it's hard for me not to cheat when my boyfriend always wants to. The forums aren't made for all this negativity--aren't they for SUPPORT?
I just wanted to say solidarity sister--good job on only having one pancake, and all you can do is keep making healthy decisions for you as much as possible and hope that the trickle down affects him or that he decides himself to follow suit.
BOO YOU HATERS. People are human! lol.
Thank you. These types of comments are extremely discouraging. I don't know who people think they're helping with this crap.0 -
I'm not his mom or boss. And I'd hate for him to tell me what I am allowed to do.
And that's why I don't cook his meals.0 -
I feel bad for some of the husbands after reading this thread. My husband works very hard to put food on our table and to give us a good life so damn right I will gladly fix him pancakes. I am responsible for what food goes in my mouth. If I want a pancake I have a pancake and i take full responsibility for it.
Stop blaming your husband for your lack of self control!
The part about you being responsible about what goes in your husbands mouth is a bit of a stretch but other than that I agree with you. So many people are quick to be 'That son of a b***h making you cook breakfast' when I saw it more of a sweet gesture that she made breakfast and they both sat down to eat it together.0 -
I feel bad for some of the husbands after reading this thread. My husband works very hard to put food on our table and to give us a good life so damn right I will gladly fix him pancakes. I am responsible for what food goes in my mouth. If I want a pancake I have a pancake and i take full responsibility for it.
Stop blaming your husband for your lack of self control!
That's all ok if you have agreed that role while your husband works. I think a lot of the posters work just as hard as their spouses outside of the home so it's not their job to take all the responsibility for cooking as well. I think quite rightly a few people are questioning a husband's right to demand the wife does the cooking.0 -
i dont think some of u understand that when youre just starting out trying to lose weight and eat right it is not easy. if i cook pancakes for my man, im an addict so i must have pancakes as well. until i slowly find my way to eating healthy then its too hard to not have one. when youre an addict u must have that drug. so dont say shes blaming the husband. its an addiction and we're supposed to be here to help her not put her down. some of u are so damn rude!
I'd say if one is at the point where they realize they'll have no control over temptation due to addiction, they should stay away from the 'fix' for a while. Which would mean don't make the pancakes, maybe even go so far as to suggest he eat them out of the house (restaurant).0 -
I have had some challenges with my wife with my weight loss. She eats lots of cookies and keeps snacks and candy around the house and it's hard to resist but I just have to deal with it. I gained about 150 pounds the first year of our marriage. I take personal responsibility for that but after 10 years of marriage and being over 400 pounds, I finally decided to make a change. My decision to lose weight have caused some challenges in my marriage. She gets mad at me sometimes when I want to exercise. Lately, I have been getting up at around 4:30 am to exercise in the mornings. My wife also wants to eat out to dinner 3-4 times a week and I would prefer maybe once a week. Going out to restaurants is hard because it costs more money and the food is generally more unhealthy. A few times, my wife would go out with our boys for dinner for pizza and I stay at home and make something healthy. Lately, I have tried to use more portion control but I find eating at restaurants harder. It seems like all of my hard work exercising is lost at times. My wife is a stay at home mom and I make good money. On the plus side, she has bought fruits and vegetables when I ask since she does most of the shopping. I am also a little concerned about my son who is also somewhat overweight.0
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I know how that is! My husband grew up on "southern comfort food" ie: fried potatoes corn bread beans fried chicken etc. and up until 2 months ago that's what I ate too and we have 4 kids who are very picky to say the least. Well, when I started this new, healthy lifestyle I still cook them their meals and make myself a healthier version OR a salad with tons of veggies and a lean meat on top (grilled/baked fish, chicken, shrimp or turkey ham ) and that's been working really well. I do have bad days everyone does, but I always try to leave a little wiggle room on my calories, so if I cook something supper yummy for them I can taste it with feeling guilty, then have my, supper yummy as well, healthier meal Its all about how bad you want it (weight loss) its 70% diet and 30% exercise.
You have to get to the point where you say fitting into those size 6 jeans is going to be so much sweeter than any pancake or cupcake or anything in between 0 -
All of you people saying negative things like "take responsibility for your own intake" and "sounds like an excuse, just blame the husband" really need to get a life. I'm not even married, and sometimes it's hard for me not to cheat when my boyfriend always wants to. The forums aren't made for all this negativity--aren't they for SUPPORT?
I just wanted to say solidarity sister--good job on only having one pancake, and all you can do is keep making healthy decisions for you as much as possible and hope that the trickle down affects him or that he decides himself to follow suit.
BOO YOU HATERS. People are human! lol.
Thank you. These types of comments are extremely discouraging. I don't know who people think they're helping with this crap.
Why is it that when people try to tell the truth, they are called haters? How is it that we are not supporting her? She asked a question and she is getting honest answers. Some choose not to sugar coat it. Many people who lose weight end up gaining it back. It's a fact. In order to be successful she has to learn to get get some willpower instead of telling herself she can't do it. That is hurting no one but herself. Multiple people here have said to have a pancake and just work it into her day or just tell herself no. She DOES have to take responsibility for what she eats. If hearing that is discouraging she is going to have a ROUGH time trying to lose weight.0 -
I feel bad for some of the husbands after reading this thread. My husband works very hard to put food on our table and to give us a good life so damn right I will gladly fix him pancakes. I am responsible for what food goes in my mouth. If I want a pancake I have a pancake and i take full responsibility for it.
Stop blaming your husband for your lack of self control!
That's all ok if you have agreed that role while your husband works. I think a lot of the posters work just as hard as their spouses outside of the home so it's not their job to take all the responsibility for cooking as well. I think quite rightly a few people are questioning a husband's right to demand the wife does the cooking.
To me, those roles are a personal decision. I will be the cook for us, he can barely turn on the stove. However, he is willing to do other household tasks I don't like very much, like laundry. It's not that I'm his slave and must cook for him, it's just how we've deciding to do things.0 -
To the OP:
No excuses. Yes, it's harder, but far from impossible.
My wife eats like garbage. Processed food galore. I try to eat as cleanly/naturally as possible.
If you are in charge of cooking, you need to let him know that the meals you make are going to be geared towards your diet. If he want to have some component of it (say the roasted chicken) but not the rest, he can handle "the rest" himself.
Good luck. I have done this successfully and I know you can as well.0 -
My husband does not eat healthy at all and has been less than supportive of what I am doing, however... The bottom line is this YOU and only YOU are accountable for what you put in your body. I make breakfast usually 3 times every day. (My kids get up at different times for school) I am almost always making pancakes or waffles or toast and frying eggs and bacon. If i feel like eating it... I do. If I feel like its not worth it that day... I don't. But I certainly never blame my kids for wanting those things for breakfast. The first thing I had to learn was accountability. I always had an excuse... I had 2 babies in 1 year(not twins 11 months apart both c-sections and mind you this was 5/6 years ago) How can I be expected to exercise?? I am too busy, its too hard, I don't have the stamina or willpower.... blah blah blah. Well guess what? It is way harder to be fat! I hate every day of it!! I want to go up in the play place at mcdonalds and get my kids if they get hurt.... I want to run around at the park with them, I want to play soccer with them, I want to ride bikes with them! I want to buy clothes that don't look like I am trying to hide something (because I am) I want to buy a Medium shirt... So since I want want want... I work work work my *kitten* off. I have lost 27 lbs and am no where near done, but it is MY RESPONSIBILITY and no one elses what I do with this body ive been given... It is a gift and I have started treating it as such.0
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. I wasn't referring to the not cooking for him, I was referring to the "I don't allow my husband to buy his favorite treats because I might be tempted to eat them"I'm not his mom or boss. And I'd hate for him to tell me what I am allowed to do.
And that's why I don't cook his meals.
I almost never cook breakfast for my husband. I'm usually still in bed when he leaves for work and I'm not waking up early to cook for anyone!0 -
My husband would not respond well if I told him what he is and isn't allowed to do. I'm not his mom or boss. And I'd hate for him to tell me what I am allowed to do.
He does it because he loves me. If he can have his chips and not tempt me a the same time, that's what he will do.
That is much different than saying what your husband is "allowed" to do. I incorrectly took yours words as literal. Sorry.0 -
I've lost 136 lbs without my husband eating "healthy." That being said, I generally don't go out of my way to cook something for him that I don't plan on eating myself. He eats what I eat (and has no problem doing so because I'm a damn good cook), but he just eats larger portions.
I've never told him, "You can't eat this because it doesn't fit into MY day."
He is responsible for what he eats, and I am responsible for what I eat. Stop making excuses.
Oh, and you seriously can't not eat a pancake? Lady, I love pancakes. I could live on them. Yet it's extremely easy for me to say, "Nah, not worth it today." Willpower. Get some.
I agree, and to her point, if you are able to slowly work your way into making good choices despite your husband's eating habits, you will successfully build enough willpower to make any gains permanent.
It will not be easy and you will probably go through peaks and valleys, but permanently changing your behavior is the key.0 -
i dont think some of u understand that when youre just starting out trying to lose weight and eat right it is not easy. if i cook pancakes for my man, im an addict so i must have pancakes as well. until i slowly find my way to eating healthy then its too hard to not have one. when youre an addict u must have that drug. so dont say shes blaming the husband. its an addiction and we're supposed to be here to help her not put her down. some of u are so damn rude!
Actually, I'm pretty sure we all understand. We all started on this journey at some point. We're all just giving our own opinions and helping the OP think outside the box. I remember when it was hard to resist stuff like that. Now I can usually say, no, it's not worth it to me, it doesn't fit my goals, my goals are more important. And sometimes I'll say, I'm going to have that ice cream (my addiction), not regret it, and move on. I'm not perfect, my diet will never be 100% perfect, but I'm accepting that. It's totally a mindset shift. But sometimes it takes some tough love to help others help themselves. If it's important, you'll find a way to reach your goals, no excuses. I think that's what most people are trying to say - take responsibility for yourself, don't make excuses. Yes, it's hard, but if it were easy, everyone would be at their goal.0 -
So your husband can't cook is own pancakes? Why did you marry a man-child?0
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i dont think some of u understand that when youre just starting out trying to lose weight and eat right it is not easy. if i cook pancakes for my man, im an addict so i must have pancakes as well. until i slowly find my way to eating healthy then its too hard to not have one. when youre an addict u must have that drug. so dont say shes blaming the husband. its an addiction and we're supposed to be here to help her not put her down. some of u are so damn rude!
Actually, I'm pretty sure we all understand. We all started on this journey at some point. We're all just giving our own opinions and helping the OP think outside the box. I remember when it was hard to resist stuff like that. Now I can usually say, no, it's not worth it to me, it doesn't fit my goals, my goals are more important. And sometimes I'll say, I'm going to have that ice cream (my addiction), not regret it, and move on. I'm not perfect, my diet will never be 100% perfect, but I'm accepting that. It's totally a mindset shift. But sometimes it takes some tough love to help others help themselves. If it's important, you'll find a way to reach your goals, no excuses. I think that's what most people are trying to say - take responsibility for yourself, don't make excuses. Yes, it's hard, but if it were easy, everyone would be at their goal.
Well said, I totally agree.0 -
My husband does not eat healthy at all and has been less than supportive of what I am doing, however... The bottom line is this YOU and only YOU are accountable for what you put in your body. I make breakfast usually 3 times every day. (My kids get up at different times for school) I am almost always making pancakes or waffles or toast and frying eggs and bacon. If i feel like eating it... I do. If I feel like its not worth it that day... I don't. But I certainly never blame my kids for wanting those things for breakfast. The first thing I had to learn was accountability. I always had an excuse... I had 2 babies in 1 year(not twins 11 months apart both c-sections and mind you this was 5/6 years ago) How can I be expected to exercise?? I am too busy, its too hard, I don't have the stamina or willpower.... blah blah blah. Well guess what? It is way harder to be fat! I hate every day of it!! I want to go up in the play place at mcdonalds and get my kids if they get hurt.... I want to run around at the park with them, I want to play soccer with them, I want to ride bikes with them! I want to buy clothes that don't look like I am trying to hide something (because I am) I want to buy a Medium shirt... So since I want want want... I work work work my *kitten* off. I have lost 27 lbs and am no where near done, but it is MY RESPONSIBILITY and no one elses what I do with this body ive been given... It is a gift and I have started treating it as such.
I agree totally with this extremley smart and awesome woman! :flowerforyou:0 -
I also struggled with this, but have made it better by only cooking food that I can eat. So, if I can fit pancakes into my day, I will make them. If I can't, then they can make them themselves or eat whatever I am making. Also, we keep a huge stash of granola bars for just this issue.0
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I feel bad for some of the husbands after reading this thread. My husband works very hard to put food on our table and to give us a good life so damn right I will gladly fix him pancakes. I am responsible for what food goes in my mouth. If I want a pancake I have a pancake and i take full responsibility for it.
Stop blaming your husband for your lack of self control!
The part about you being responsible about what goes in your husbands mouth is a bit of a stretch but other than that I agree with you. So many people are quick to be 'That son of a b***h making you cook breakfast' when I saw it more of a sweet gesture that she made breakfast and they both sat down to eat it together.
I said I am responsible for the food that goes in my mouth not my husband's.0 -
My husband and two kids love to eat all the things I can't, and that's fine.....to an extent. :P
My husband loves to bring snacks to bed. Popcorn, ice cream, a cupcake...etc. He's always been athletic though and is on his feet all day so he never seems to gain a pound. However, I've made him start eating his late night snacks in the living room away from me, instead of bringing it in the bedroom. Heh.
I've started sneaking healthy ingredients into things I normally make, and he hasn't noticed yet. We're kind of staying away from eating out right now, until there's another special occasion that comes up. I just can't control myself when I smell all that food!0 -
It gets easier! Most nights I am cooking 2 different meals... for my partner and kids and then something healthier for me. I have gotten used to it. And he brings in bad foods into the house all the time. Sure tests my will power daily!0
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My little rant. Take this morning for instance. I usually have a green smoothie for breakfast, but hubby wants buttermilk pancakes, so I'm cooking pancakes. I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet. So oh well, all I know is I'll just have to try to eat good the rest of the day. I'll have my smoothie & hard boiled egg for lunch and fix chicken breast for dinner. Food is the toughest thing for me to deal with, especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.
My hubby eats whatever he wants. I eat what I should. I say "no, thanks" and he respects that. He does a lot of the cooking, especially breakfast, and he just gives me less than what he eats.
He is not forcing things down your throat, so it's important you develop a stronger will power and say NO and stick to it.
Sorry to be harsh, but that's really what needs to happen - you are ultimately responsible for what YOU put in YOUR mouth, not what you serve HIM.0 -
For starters, there is nothing super unhealthy about a pancake, especailly if you only ate one - if you want a pancake, have a pancake - I know there are different schools of thought on here about clean eating and an all-or-nothing mentality but for most of us, that's super unrealistic! if a pancake fits into your plan and you really want it then have the damned thing!
Of course your other option is if your husband wants pancakes and you don't want to be tempted tell him to make his own pancakes or find himself a diner - you're his wife, not a short order cook!
I feel for you though, my super skinny husband eats cookies every night after dinner. I don't want to cut him off from cookies since he can afford the calories so we comprimise - he's only allowed to buy cookies that that I don't like and therefore aren't tempted to eat!
I love this and so agree0 -
For starters, there is nothing super unhealthy about a pancake, especailly if you only ate one - if you want a pancake, have a pancake - I know there are different schools of thought on here about clean eating and an all-or-nothing mentality but for most of us, that's super unrealistic! if a pancake fits into your plan and you really want it then have the damned thing!
Of course your other option is if your husband wants pancakes and you don't want to be tempted tell him to make his own pancakes or find himself a diner - you're his wife, not a short order cook!
I feel for you though, my super skinny husband eats cookies every night after dinner. I don't want to cut him off from cookies since he can afford the calories so we comprimise - he's only allowed to buy cookies that that I don't like and therefore aren't tempted to eat!
i agree with this is you want a pancake eat your pancake! Lucky my can eat everything normal weight boyfriend is very considerent and does not buy candy anymore and eat my healthy cooking with joy or this would be so much harder for me. In the evening i am usually making him extra portion of carbs (i am insulin resistend and on low carb diet from dr) after 3 months they dont even tempt me anymore0 -
First of all, thank you so much for all your replies. If I follow my plan for today, I should still be calorie deficient. I don't want to say I can't have something and deprive myself, that's just setting myself up for failure realistically. And yes, somethings can be fixed healthier, but I have yet to ever taste anything healthier that tasted as good as the original. I know I should have more will power and probably in a little more time I will, but right now I am still new to this and it's not like I'm eating pancakes every day. I do have some will power, but it's a work in progress. Plus, I deal with other personal issues in my life that make all this harder for me than the average person. I'm not looking to drop 100 pounds, probably 40 at the most, but at least 25-30. I am going to try to do the best that I can do, but I'm not going to make myself miserable either. Small changes as I go. And yes, I don't think one small pancake one day is gonna kill me. Again, thank you for all your comments, I really appreciate them!0
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I feel bad for some of the husbands after reading this thread. My husband works very hard to put food on our table and to give us a good life so damn right I will gladly fix him pancakes. I am responsible for what food goes in my mouth. If I want a pancake I have a pancake and i take full responsibility for it.
Stop blaming your husband for your lack of self control!
That's all ok if you have agreed that role while your husband works. I think a lot of the posters work just as hard as their spouses outside of the home so it's not their job to take all the responsibility for cooking as well. I think quite rightly a few people are questioning a husband's right to demand the wife does the cooking.
I work two jobs myself (neither of which are sedentary). I just feel bad that women today treat there husbands the way they do. No wonder divorce is so common. Not saying that the man is always innocent it just seems that women want to rant and rave any time their husband doesn't act exactly like they want, and don't get me started on women trying to change men.0 -
My husband has to be in the mood for pancakes, but I love pancakes, not the toll they take on my waistline.
Instead of eating the boxed white flour pancakes, I made up a recipe of my own that has lots of protein, uses a small amount of oat flour and very healthy.
Maybe shifting the recipe around or making a completely new recipe could be something you look into?0
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