pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

JDBLY11

by "let yourself go", believe it or not i didn't mean 'end up looking like anything other than me'. hahaha. you guys are too funny. I am referring to the women who dont even try. the women who are self described as being "fat", who complain about being overweight/out of shape, the women who HATE their body and yet eat donuts, drink milkshakes, and sit on their *kitten* because they're moms and that what moms do. i have a relative who was pregnant at the same time as i was. we started off the same. same height, same weight. she gained three times as much weight as i did during pregnancy. she said how she was going to 'enjoy' her pregnancy and eat whatever she wanted. i didn't do this. after delivery, she took it easy and still does. i didn't do this. she says things like, "i'd rather have my child and hate my body than love my body and not have my child". i say you can have both: a body you can be proud of AND children. it's not one or the other.

and yes, i realize that individual results may vary. as long as you do the best you can, that's all that matters.

You really should not judge people because many people do not believe they really can have a body they can be proud of. I never believed it and still find some difficulty in believing it. I like food. I am not good at portion control. I like to exercise but I am bad at sticking to it. I never really worked on losing weight before because I did not believe I could stick with a diet program and make a real lifestyle change. I have struggled with weight my whole life. I have always had issues with my body and not liked it. It is hard not to believe i am destined to be fat. I know I need to change now though for my husband and son. I just hope I have what it takes to do it.

MrsBobaFett

I had gestational diabetes that was left undiagnosed until I was 37 weeks pregnant, my bump was enormous! They let me go until 40 weeks before they induced me as they thought my son would be around 7lbs. He ended up at 9lbs 9oz and I have a stomach that resembles a deflated balloon. I'm working on it now though, I know it will never look the same again but saying that, I don't mind, I will get it to look the best I can. My son was totally worth it!

flynnfinn

first off, happy mothers day to all the mommies out there!

now back to the topic. my mom had 3 girls, was fairly petite pre-pregnancy, gained 45+ lbs with each of her pregnancies and all my life, i just remember her always having "fluff" around her belly. my mom also never exercised a day in her life. lots of excess skin and stretch marks. she's also a victim of old school c-sections where the incision is vertical instead of horizontal.

my oldest sister had 4 kids. gained 50+ (one was 60lbs i think) with each pregnancy. also fairly petite pre-pregnancy. she started with her first at 20 so a fairly young mom. she never exercised a day in her life either. she was a big advocate for the "eat for two" pregnancy campaign. all normal childbirths. she has lots of stretch marks and lots of loose excesss skin that only surgery can fix. she is now thinner than pre-pregnancy but the excess skin is still there.

now on to me. i've been active and an avid exercise fanatic since i was 16 (got my first gym membership at that age!). first and only pregnancy at age of 32. worked out (running which turned into jogging then brisk walking) all throughout my pregnancy even up until had an emergency c-section at 35 weeks and gave birth to a healthy 7lb boy. watched my diet like a hawk, drank a bazillion gallons of water, ate only whole foods and gained at max a mere 20lbs. post-partum was a breeze despite c-section. i was back into my pre-pregnancy weight within 2 weeks of giving birth, in a bikini 7 days after giving birth and now (4 years later), i actually weigh less. i also have no excess skin and no stretch marks.

genetics? maybe. but they say you are your mother's daughter and my mom ended up with lose skin and stretch marks. i don't really know but all i can say is i busted my bootie before pregnancy, while pregnant and after. i always ate healthily. i was very conscious of everything i put into my body and everything i did to my body. perhaps it's also luck. who knows?

JDBLY11

Oh and I just wanted to say, my stretch marks don't bother me at all. It is just the fat on my body I am currently losing that has bothered me. Stretch marks, meh, I could carless. No one is going to see it other than me and my hubby. :P

I agree, though it would be nice to think that someday I could rock a bikini. My stomach has so many issues from my pregnancy that that probably is not going to happen. I don't even have a normal belly button anymore. I am okay with my body. I just want ot lose the fat.

JDBLY11

If people want a vague idea of how they'll look afterwards, look at your mothers.

My mom had six kids and zero stretch marks/loose skin. All four of her daughters have stretch marks (some from general weight gain, some from pregnancy). If I were to ever become pregnant, I know I'd look nothing like my mom afterward. Not. fair.

Yes, my mom looked great after her 3 pregnancies. She did not have any stretchmarks and was still a healthy weight. Her boobs aren't messed up either. She did have some other issues (TMI) but she did great. My cousin was like me in that she got ton of stretchmarks all across her belly. She was still very attractive after though and has gotten to a healthy weight. She exercised and lost 15 lbs so she would not be oveweight.

JDBLY11

sorry to hear you are so caught up in the way that you look that you can't see past your body to what it actually produced. I have 2 beautiful children and 2 equally beautiful angels up in heaven. my body has changed no end as a result of having children but i wouldn't go back in time to have my pre pregnancy body and be without any of my children .... every stretch mark, the saggy boobs, the 2 huge scars from emergancy c sections (... that are hidden by the overhang of my belly ... that is numb from the operations) even the bags under my eyes from sitting by bedsides worrying when they are poorly, are all reminders that i am a woman who has done the most amazing thing in the world and how proud i am of my beautiful intelligent fiesty fun-loving little terrors. I certainly don't see it that i have ruined my body and i am far more hung up about spending time watching them grow and develop and nurturing them, loving them and spending every possible minute having fun with them to spend my precious time in a gym trying to get back what i never had in the first place as i'm not perfect .... is anyone???

Whoa. Just because she looks amazing doesn't mean that she doesn't adore her daughter. She also posted that she's still breastfeeding 18 months later...that takes amazing determination and love to look into a mouthful of teeth and say "OK, I will stick my nipple in that." (****NOT STARTING A BF vs FF DEBATE****)

That is quite impressive. I only breastfed for 9 months.

furrina

isn't diet and exercise all about generalizations and anecdotal evidence?

Not if you want to do it correctly.

JDBLY11

It's partly good genetics. I agree wholeheartedly. I bounced back pretty well after I had DS at age 31 but I was riding a bicycle 10 miles every night (including the night before he was born) and my mother had 5 kids and never wore maternity clothes home from the hospital. DH has taken over converting all the slides Dad took over 4 decades into digital and Dad really liked taking pictures of Mom in her bathing suit over the years!

If you have a difficult pregnancy and end up needing steroids, months of bed rest, or have other complications, you need to do what you have to do and focus on keeping you and your baby healthy. Having said that, though, I work with 2 wonderful young women blessed with healthy pregnancies who ate up a storm and just piled on the weight. One had her baby in February and is back at Weight Watchers and taking it seriously. The other is due next month and she's going to have a lot to lose after she has her baby. I didn't/don't nag them- I'm their boss, not their mother- but I don't know why they weren't more careful during their pregnancy. While I would never go back to the 1950s (my Ex's Aunt said that one doc would yell at you if you gained more than 2 lbs./month while pregnant), I do think doctors should emphasize keeping the weight gain to a reasonable level.

You are so out of wack when you are pregnant. I was hungry all the time and if I did not eat I threw up. If I went to long without eating I felt extremely nauseous. I actually did pretty well weight wise during pregnancy but I had a lot of problems eating too much after the pregnancy. Pregnancy changed my eating habits. I used to eat like 2 meals a day before I got pregnant but after I started eating every few hours so I piled on the lbs. I have always had weight problems though.

stacelee133

I am shocked at the amount of women claiming their pregnancies 'ruined' their bodies. I have several friends who would do anything to be blessed with a child and have not been so lucky as of yet.
Count your blessings ladies!

JDBLY11

People have children for selfish reasons, why shouldn't people be allowed to NOT have children for selfish reasons? I don't judge anyone for not wanting children. Period.

this.

Not sure why people are so offended by her reason not to have kids. Her reason sounds perfectly fine to me. She really doesn't need a good reason NOT to have them as others have stated. Way too many people have kids and then make crappy parents. Having sex and then pushing a baby out of a vagina isn't some big accomplishment that needs to be praised.

I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.

I disagree. I think it is a big accomplishment. Conceiving a baby and carrying a baby for 9 months and then caring for a child until adulthood is a great accomplishment. Even if you give up your child for adoption, carrying a baby is an accommplishment. I felt prouder of myself after going through 60 hours of labor and having an emergency cesarean than I have ever felt. The day my son was born was the best day of my life, better than the day I was married. I was so happy and I was one of those people who did not want kids at all. I just decided to give having children a chance because I do not always know what I want and do not want or what is good for me and what is not.

Lyadeia

The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.

I agree with this. I am working my *kitten* off to get into the best shape of my life (right now I am at 22% body fat aiming for 16%), but my husband and I are planning to try for a baby this Fall. I will continue to work my *kitten* off while pregnant as much as I can, to keep in shape, and the OP's pictures give me hope that after my baby is born, with a little work and dedication, I will be back to the body I am aiming for now.

I have seen MANY other pictures of people who started off with a decent body, had a baby, and worked hard to look awesome and truly succeeded. I look to those people for hope and inspiration.

I choose to ignore all the others who want to chime in with their pregnancy woes. If something happens that my body ends up in poor condition that I need a tummy tuck or whatever, then so be it. But, I will take the OP's post as motivational and helpful for those of us worried about future pregnancies because of what all these other dissenters are saying.

I for one prefer to choose to remain positive rather than just saying, "well this is great, but it might not be true for me" or something like "good for you, but pregnancy made my body look like hell." Thank you OP for giving me some hope.

JDBLY11

Anyway, I'd just like to thank the OP for putting out that not everyone's body gets horribly damaged by pregnancy, and that excess weight shouldn't be blamed on only pregnancy. I do think we are accountable for our own health.

Says someone who has never shared her body with another human being.

Sorry, I'm bitter, this I know. But, again, for those of us that DID do what they could to keep their bodies fit, it's terribly offensive for someone to blame sloth and overindulgence for the damage done.

THAT is my problem with the original and continuous statements I keep reading.

Apparently pregnancy ruins more women's minds and sense of well-being than bodies. That's an ever more important lesson to remember when looking to have children. If I don't want to become nasty and bitter, don't have kids.

Say what you like. But until you have kids and realize you weren't one of the ones blessed with a snap back body which someone else condescends you for (by implying that if you don't look fabulous and toned post-baby that you've "let yourself go") keep your mouth shut.

The OP wasn't implying anything about you. She was saying getting pregnant, having a baby, etc., shouldn't be USED as an EXCUSE to let yourself go. Your insecurity is astounding. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your body, but you can't really accuse someone of insulting you or insinuating things about you that just aren't there. It's ludicrous.

That is a rude statement though! You don't walk in other peoples shoes to know what they have lived through and why they may have those excess pounds or why they do not work on losing them. I have been through a lot since I was married, lived in poverty, had my child who was diagnosed as developmentally delayed, and was hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar. Not everyone is like you or the op who were and are fairly thin. My sister had two babies and bounced back well. She did get a few stretchmarks. She had always been thin though and has a model like body. I have always had problems with my weight. Just because I have those problems does not mean I deserve to be attacked and seen as less than because I am overweight and gained a lot of that weight since I gave birth to my child. I am the same me even if I carry extra pounds. People who do use pregnancy and children as an excuse to gain weight usually learn pretty quickly not to do that. My cousin decided to eat whatever she wanted when she was pregnant and was very unhappy with her body after. She was always a few lbs away from a healthy weight though and ended up losing 15 lbs and getting to a healthy weight. She looks great even if she will never wear a bikini again because of her stretchmarks on her belly.

Some people battle with their weight and people who are naturally thin or only a few lbs overweight cannot understand what a struggle it is to get thin when you are prone to overeating and not being active enough.

flynnfinn

wow! considering it is mothers day, there are a lot of bitter moms out there. pregnancy isn't easy and sure we weren't all blessed with great genetics to bounch back like champ. and maybe some of us simply had difficulties post-partum (whatever they may be) that we were not able to eat right and exercise or work towards a great post-partum body. but COME ON LADIES! why are some of you so bitter? so many of you have posted, "well, YOU did not go through what i went through. this and this happened making it virtually physically impossible for me. i had (insert pregnancy condition here) and was ordered bedrest. see how YOU would deal with that!"

jesus...becoming a mother is a sacrifice but we are also rewarded exponentially. so many of you seem to read too much into what the OP is all about and looking for contempt in her post which isn't there.

at the end of the day, i created a life! i performed a miracle with my wee little self! we're all so lucky to have been able to do this. i have friends who can't conceive!

don't be so sour ladies. look at your child(ren) and think how much better they've made your life! would you really wish to go back and wish you could do it all again and NOT have children?

Mamahana82

Bitter or not, the women dissenting the OP's viewpoint that you can look as good as you did pre-pregnancy is perfectly valid. Many are stating that her OP is simply NOT accurate. It isn't true for all women. It isn't true for a lot of women. And not because they let themselves go, or aren't working hard enough, but because pregnancy and birth changes a woman's body physically, in some ways that are completely out of the mother's control.

No one is saying you can't be proud of having your body return to pre-pregnancy glory. But women are allowed to stick up for themselves and not be made to feel bad about things they absolutely cannot change with diet and exercise. It is hardly fair to minimize the feelings of these women by labeling them Bitter Betties and sour women as if they have to sit there and be quiet when someone is telling them that all women can look like the OP does with simple perseverance. Women make themselves martyers for enough reasons as is--can't we all just agree that one size doesn't fit all and move on with our lives? All moms would be better served if we stop trying to shove them all into one common mold.

dixiewhiskey

This thread should be locked.

MsEmmy

OP you look amazing!

Super incredible amazing!

Reading the first page of comments was a little surprising. I was expecting to read "Holy crap you look phenomenal!" but instead I saw people who just assume you're "lucky." Kind of discredits all the hard work that you've obviously put into your body. Anyways, I digress.

You're abs are rockin, and I'm going to get mine in the same shape as yours are. Pregnancy didn't ruin your body, and it sure as hell didn't ruin mine, either. :flowerforyou:

Nobody is saying she didn't work hard - I'm sure she did. But the implication was that everyone could do it if only they worked as hard as she did, and that somehow anyone who does have a less than perfect post-baby body only has themselves to blame because they didn't work hard enough. No amount of working hard will shift stretch marks on your belly and thighs or re-glue split muscles. I don't think my body is 'ruined' but it does affect what I can and can't wear and makes me supremely self concious when I go swimming. I certainly don't want to think that the fit women around me at the pool/ beach are thinking that I'm some kind of slob.

glovepuppet

Bitter or not, the women dissenting the OP's viewpoint that you can look as good as you did pre-pregnancy is perfectly valid. Many are stating that her OP is simply NOT accurate. It isn't true for all women. It isn't true for a lot of women. And not because they let themselves go, or aren't working hard enough, but because pregnancy and birth changes a woman's body physically, in some ways that are completely out of the mother's control.

No one is saying you can't be proud of having your body return to pre-pregnancy glory. But women are allowed to stick up for themselves and not be made to feel bad about things they absolutely cannot change with diet and exercise. It is hardly fair to minimize the feelings of these women by labeling them Bitter Betties and sour women as if they have to sit there and be quiet when someone is telling them that all women can look like the OP does with simple perseverance. Women make themselves martyers for enough reasons as is--can't we all just agree that one size doesn't fit all and move on with our lives? All moms would be better served if we stop trying to shove them all into one common mold.

this x 1000

I am shocked at the amount of women claiming their pregnancies 'ruined' their bodies. I have several friends who would do anything to be blessed with a child and have not been so lucky as of yet.
Count your blessings ladies!

you think i love my kids any less because i'm unhappy with having split abs that increase my risk of back problems and a loss of sensation in my vag that pretty much ruined normal sex? boohoo, my poor hurted feelings, etc. :indifferent:

glovepuppet

This thread should be locked.

but there are inches of deceased equine still unbeaten.

glovepuppet

You are so out of wack when you are pregnant. I was hungry all the time and if I did not eat I threw up. If I went to long without eating I felt extremely nauseous. I actually did pretty well weight wise during pregnancy but I had a lot of problems eating too much after the pregnancy. Pregnancy changed my eating habits. I used to eat like 2 meals a day before I got pregnant but after I started eating every few hours so I piled on the lbs. I have always had weight problems though.

my sis was like that. more than two hours between food and she'd be sick. the only thing that stopped her heaving was carbs every 2 hours. she tried various medications and nothing helped. even when they decided to keep her in hospital until she'd had them, nothing but grazing all day helped.

altinkumjoy

Hi, me too , stretch marks all over my belly after having 4 pregnancy's , loose skin come what ever I do , how slim i go there still there , I could crawl under a stone when we go on holiday and every one got there body's out, But Oh no not me all wrapped up boiling, trying to enjoy my self .

But do you know what the Hell , we should be proud that we have lovely kids and wouldn't be with out em ..............
So come on girls lets not be too hard on our self's .

servilia

Nice belly. You are lucky. I had my first at age 30 and belly is not so lucky. 16 months after csection baby and well I don't like my belly and wouldn't wanna post a pic of it. Protruding and poochy belly and white, squiggly stretch marks under belly button area.

I have the same problem...first baby at age 18...then pregnant again at 29 - I gained SO much & with the constant up & down over the years - fat seems "permanently planted" on my body. The pouches of fat & cellulite wont go away. Just started a more intense workout, circuit training/cardio/strength mix in hopes to get rid of it...I guess we will see.

It seems to me this is the mentality the OP was hoping to challenge (at least in my view and I might be wrong). No, fat is NOT permanently planted on anyone and you CAN get rid of it. Good for you for trying and good luck!

Beezil

Anyway, I'd just like to thank the OP for putting out that not everyone's body gets horribly damaged by pregnancy, and that excess weight shouldn't be blamed on only pregnancy. I do think we are accountable for our own health.

Says someone who has never shared her body with another human being.

Sorry, I'm bitter, this I know. But, again, for those of us that DID do what they could to keep their bodies fit, it's terribly offensive for someone to blame sloth and overindulgence for the damage done.

THAT is my problem with the original and continuous statements I keep reading.

Apparently pregnancy ruins more women's minds and sense of well-being than bodies. That's an ever more important lesson to remember when looking to have children. If I don't want to become nasty and bitter, don't have kids.

Say what you like. But until you have kids and realize you weren't one of the ones blessed with a snap back body which someone else condescends you for (by implying that if you don't look fabulous and toned post-baby that you've "let yourself go") keep your mouth shut.

The OP wasn't implying anything about you. She was saying getting pregnant, having a baby, etc., shouldn't be USED as an EXCUSE to let yourself go. Your insecurity is astounding. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your body, but you can't really accuse someone of insulting you or insinuating things about you that just aren't there. It's ludicrous.

That is a rude statement though! You don't walk in other peoples shoes to know what they have lived through and why they may have those excess pounds or why they do not work on losing them. I have been through a lot since I was married, lived in poverty, had my child who was diagnosed as developmentally delayed, and was hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar. Not everyone is like you or the op who were and are fairly thin. My sister had two babies and bounced back well. She did get a few stretchmarks. She had always been thin though and has a model like body. I have always had problems with my weight. Just because I have those problems does not mean I deserve to be attacked and seen as less than because I am overweight and gained a lot of that weight since I gave birth to my child. I am the same me even if I carry extra pounds. People who do use pregnancy and children as an excuse to gain weight usually learn pretty quickly not to do that. My cousin decided to eat whatever she wanted when she was pregnant and was very unhappy with her body after. She was always a few lbs away from a healthy weight though and ended up losing 15 lbs and getting to a healthy weight. She looks great even if she will never wear a bikini again because of her stretchmarks on her belly.

Some people battle with their weight and people who are naturally thin or only a few lbs overweight cannot understand what a struggle it is to get thin when you are prone to overeating and not being active enough.

I was almost 200lbs before I started losing weight. I wouldn't call that "fairly thin". Plus I gained almost 70lbs while I was pregnant with my son. It took a big toll on my body, and not just in the appearance. I lost sensation for over a year before it started coming back, so I do know what that is like too. I lost most of my pregnancy weight after I had my son, but gained it back gradually after I got married. Please don't assume I've always been this way, I worked my *kitten* off to lose the weight I lost, and even if it wasn't 100+ pounds it doesn't make my struggle any less than yours or the next person's. I battled with weight and eating disorders since I was a kid. Don't make assumptions about me, please. No one was or is attacking you, merely stating facts and experiences. The OP was just sharing her experience and hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

glovepuppet

hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

you're absolutely right. and if the OP had phrased things honestly and accurately, as you did, this whole drama would never have happened.

Beezil

hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

you're absolutely right. and if the OP had phrased things honestly and accurately, as you did, this whole drama would never have happened.

Agreed. But, also, if people didn't focus so much on wording and took the gist of what she said instead. I know that's a lot to expect out of people in general, and I don't personally expect it. I think the OP expected too much out of people, though. Wording makes a big difference, for sure. It's just one of those things where something gets taken the wrong way and a mob of people runs with it. I think wars have probably been started on more than one occasion due to a misunderstanding... lol

glovepuppet

hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

you're absolutely right. and if the OP had phrased things honestly and accurately, as you did, this whole drama would never have happened.

Agreed. But, also, if people didn't focus so much on wording and took the gist of what she said instead. I know that's a lot to expect out of people in general, and I don't personally expect it. I think the OP expected too much out of people, though. Wording makes a big difference, for sure. It's just one of those things where something gets taken the wrong way and a mob of people runs with it. I think wars have probably been started on more than one occasion due to a misunderstanding... lol

we communicate here entirely by words. i realise it's a lot to expect from people in general, but chosing your words carefully so that they express what you mean is a good idea. if you state that the sky is green then expecting everyone to agree with you that it's blue is foolish.

Beezil

hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

you're absolutely right. and if the OP had phrased things honestly and accurately, as you did, this whole drama would never have happened.

Agreed. But, also, if people didn't focus so much on wording and took the gist of what she said instead. I know that's a lot to expect out of people in general, and I don't personally expect it. I think the OP expected too much out of people, though. Wording makes a big difference, for sure. It's just one of those things where something gets taken the wrong way and a mob of people runs with it. I think wars have probably been started on more than one occasion due to a misunderstanding... lol

we communicate here entirely by words. i realise it's a lot to expect from people in general, but chosing your words carefully so that they express what you mean is a good idea. if you state that the sky is green then expecting everyone to agree with you that it's blue is foolish.

lol Yeah, I see your point. I guess I just figure it's similar to someone posting a success story and saying "If I Can Do It, So Can You!" I don't think in that scenario it would be appropriate, or called for, for people to get riled up as they have here. I know the situation is different, but in essence it is about the same. As much as I understand why women have gotten offended by the OP's post, I still think it's ridiculous for them to take it so personally - or to actually get offended. Most of what people are saying she has implied or "stated" even, just isn't there.

toutmonpossible

I think it's a highly individual process. It's not good to be pessimistic and let oneself go, but it doesn't help to be overly optimistic either. You have to see what happens.

glovepuppet

lol Yeah, I see your point. I guess I just figure it's similar to someone posting a success story and saying "If I Can Do It, So Can You!" I don't think in that scenario it would be appropriate, or called for, for people to get riled up as they have here. I know the situation is different, but in essence it is about the same. As much as I understand why women have gotten offended by the OP's post, I still think it's ridiculous for them to take it so personally - or to actually get offended. Most of what people are saying she has implied or "stated" even, just isn't there.

''I'm here to tell you that it doesn't ruin your body and you will bounce back quickly.''
the statement.
''...and it shouldn't be an excuse to let yourself go.''
the implication.

i dislike the statement for two reasons. 1, that it promises results in women who will not have her experience, and when women fail to measure up they may well feel like freaks and failures. i believe in telling people all the facts. it might go well, it might be a disaster, but i wish you luck either way. 2, that it completely ignores what can be devastating health and quality of life issues. is our measure of 'ruin' based entirely on weight? it plays into our vanity obsessed society and, as all too frequently happens, makes people with embarassing and upsetting problems feel even more like lone freaks.

I think it's a highly individual process. It's not good to be pessimistic and let oneself go, but it doesn't help to be overly optimistic either. You have to see what happens.

^^says it all.

Beezil

lol Yeah, I see your point. I guess I just figure it's similar to someone posting a success story and saying "If I Can Do It, So Can You!" I don't think in that scenario it would be appropriate, or called for, for people to get riled up as they have here. I know the situation is different, but in essence it is about the same. As much as I understand why women have gotten offended by the OP's post, I still think it's ridiculous for them to take it so personally - or to actually get offended. Most of what people are saying she has implied or "stated" even, just isn't there.

''I'm here to tell you that it doesn't ruin your body and you will bounce back quickly.''
the statement.
''...and it shouldn't be an excuse to let yourself go.''
the implication.

i dislike the statement for two reasons. 1, that it promises results in women who will not have her experience, and when women fail to measure up they may well feel like freaks and failures. i believe in telling people all the facts. it might go well, it might be a disaster, but i wish you luck either way. 2, that it completely ignores what can be devastating health and quality of life issues. is our measure of 'ruin' based entirely on weight? it plays into our vanity obsessed society and, as all too frequently happens, makes people with embarassing and upsetting problems feel even more like lone freaks.

I think it's a highly individual process. It's not good to be pessimistic and let oneself go, but it doesn't help to be overly optimistic either. You have to see what happens.

^^says it all.

You're right. Honestly, if everyone had the ability to phrase things the way you have and lay them out like that - maybe this thread wouldn't have gone so bad so fast. Based on only what the OP wrote, I guess it does sound kind of condescending and presumptuous. But, I personally tried to take from it what I thought she meant rather than the plain text. In a different frame of mind, I quite possibly could have been offended, too.

glovepuppet

You're right. Honestly, if everyone had the ability to phrase things the way you have and lay them out like that - maybe this thread wouldn't have gone so bad so fast. Based on only what the OP wrote, I guess it does sound kind of condescending and presumptuous. But, I personally tried to take from it what I thought she meant rather than the plain text. In a different frame of mind, I quite possibly could have been offended, too.

this will all be forgotten within a week.