pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

poesch77

I'm going to keep my mouth closed so I don't get a strike. :grumble:

me too

kawickham85

i got back problems from surgery too. when my daughter was 5 months old, i had microdiscectomy done on my L5/S1 disc.

_chiaroscuro

also very sweet to discuss your mother's boobs on the internet with strangers.

I was back to take up for you. This disappoints.

WDEvy

The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.

presonally, i always wished i knew that sometimes it did screw you up. just so that when it happened to me i was mentally prepared and knew it was within normal.

you can't make an educated choice, you can't have informed consent, until you know all of the facts.

if a person's only reason for not having kids is fear of not looking so pretty after, are they really ready to have kids yet? is it really the best option to lie to them?

the reality is that pregnancy is a serious business. it can ruin your body and it can endanger your health, or even your life. there are things you can do to minimise the risks but there are no guarantees. yet, if you ask most mums, your kids are more than worth it.

I've always wondered about the logic of trying to convince women who say things like "I don't want to get fat" that they should have children. Like...why does that sound like a good idea? Does she strike you as a woman with priorities geared towards child rearing?

I've had this actual conversation with my sister, bless her silly soul.

"You would be a great mom Chelle, you should do it before you get too old." (I'm 25, btw.)
"I don't want to get fat."
"It's not FAT, it's a baby!"
"...K. I don't want to screw up my body."
"(insert five minute explanation of how it doesn't screw up your body and even if it does it's so so worth it.)"
"I spend 3 to 5 hours a day playing video games and I'm not prepared to have a kid interrupting my raid time with their need for food and love and crap."
"Well that's just SELFISH!"

Oh. That's the point where I seemed selfish? Not the other stuff? It isn't glaring obvious that I shouldn't be having kids? No? Alright then.

And it's the OP that's Judgy McJudgerson eh? Way to generalize.

I didn't say it was a deterrent, I said it scared the beejesus out of me. I'm 30 years old, I don't have the luxury to go around another 5 years to rock my new body around before I decide to have kids. I'm fully aware it's my own fault for not taking steps sooner. Might want to stop passing on your frustrations on random internet people.

skitttlesrock

Congrats for having good genetics and being young and perfect.

Some of us aren't so lucky, some of us had babies at 35, have stretch marks and had complications that caused weight gain. Try being locked into a hospital bed and told what to eat and see what happens to you.

I really don't appreciate being told how I "let myself go" because of my kidney stones and pneumonia and a list of other stuff you don't care about. I'm working hard to get back in shape and I don't appreciate your flippant attitude. One size doesn't fit all in life. Please don't pretend it does.

<<THIS>>>> thank you for posting this

itsmyvwbeetle

Congrats, great job!!

For me, after 5 c-sections, nothing will save my tummy except a tummy tuck. I dont mind the stretch marks but I do mind the "belly flap". This wasnt from poor nutrition. It showed up about 35 weeks into my 4th pregnancy. I asked my doctor what it was and he said it was tissue that separated from the muscle wall. When asked if it would ever go away, his response "only with surgery". Yikes, 2 weeks later my bouncing baby boy was born at 11#7ozs. He was totally worth the belly flap but here I am 9 years later saying now what?

We cant all bounce right back but we can all bounce as high as we can!!

Mischievous_Rascal

It's genetics. I am really happy for you that your results were different than mine. Bedrest, high blood pressure, extreme water retention, at one point my belly measured 50 inches around. Only so much my moisturizing could do for me. Now my skin is messed and I need a tummy tuck. Sorry, you fail to inspire me, but congrats to you.

Exactly.

kawickham85

and my body is definitely not perfect. i'm still breastfeeding my 1.5 year old and definitely have lost some volume in that area. i'm merely working with what i got.

thecakelocker

I'm due to pop a baby out in a couple weeks and tbh I don't care if I wind up with a belly pooch or whatever. I lost 60lbs before getting pregnant so my belly was prestretched. Pregnancy kinda interrupted my weight loss but I only put about 7lb back on and continued losing fat, dropping clothing sizes and getting in better shape thanks to regular exercise. I know I'm capable of losing fat and excited to get back to work on it for real. And if my belly is always flabby it's a heck of a lot better than trudging through life as a childless 274lb woman. I'm never going to say my baby "ruined" my body no matter what I look like.

So Congrats to those who achieved their goals and good luck to those working on them. And Congrats on your kids too.

kitka82

You do look fantastic. As long as I am doing MY best to live a healthy lifestyle, that is all that matters to me. I don't have to look like a fitness model in order to be in good shape, and I know that. You can't really judge by looking at someone whether they have let themselves go.

I waited until my youngest child was 2 to tackle my weight, which had accumulated over years and years of self-abuse and neglect. I'm still proud of myself for how far I've come. And my kids like jogging and doing yoga with me. They eat a wholesome, balanced diet and prefer apples over french fries (90% of the time). That's good enough for me.

jessicae1aine

I'm not sure why you're getting so attacked. Seriously, I appreciate your candidness with posting pictures when no one else wants to. A lot of people DO see pregnancy as an opportunity to just eat whatever they want, all the time, and deal with it later - I sure did when I had my kids.

gsager

I know that you are trying to give people hope. I don't think having babies hurt my body either and I do have good genetics. But for people looking for an excuse, it's as good as any of them.

aimforhealthy

All I'm gonna say is that it never ceases to amaze me what lengths folks on the Internet will go to just to avoid saying "My bad, I probably shouldn't have said that."

NavyKnightAh13

First off you look amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Secondly, when I was pregnant (I have a 15 month old), I lost weight during my pregnancy (from being as active aka walking, doing stadium stairs due to my job, housework etc) I went from 243 down 219. After birth to 204. Started MFP and am now down to the 160's area.

I agree with the idea that pregnancy and motherhood is no excuse to let yourself go, however, not everyone is blessed to be able to bounce back and have a flat tummy. I have never had a flat stomach in my life (I have been overweight all my life) so I don't know if I will have one, but my stretchmarks went from being red to white/silver color, and honestly I am kinda proud of them (I see it as proud marks from when I was prego), and i do have some saggy skin everywhere (again from being 243) but am hoping since I am 24 that I may have some hope.

YogaNikki

Wow! You look fantastic. I wasn't so lucky. I gained a LOT of weight with each of my 3 pregnancies. I really didn't eat too much or let myself go, I just gained a lot of weight. I worked my butt off after each child and would get back down to pre-pregnancy weight, but my body won't be the same. I am okay with that. The stretch marks and the loose skin don't "ruin" my body, they just add a bit of character.

I LOVE this. Your attitude is perfect!! :flowerforyou:

Mamahana82

All I'm gonna say is that it never ceases to amaze me what lengths folks on the Internet will go to just to avoid saying "My bad, I probably shouldn't have said that."

:flowerforyou: :drinker: I give you flowers and raise a toast to you for this.

peggysue218

the nerve damage that makes it difficult to orgasm isn't exercised away.

Reason #477 to not have kids. Ever ever ever. (at least for me - props to you martyrs out there)

Jennisin1

Yay you....

Some of us aren't as lucky...... I am smaller and fitter than prepregnancy but I definitely looked better naked before.

sullus

All I'm gonna say is that it never ceases to amaze me what lengths folks on the Internet will go to just to avoid saying "My bad, I probably shouldn't have said that."

You think you're gonna get that from someone who lists her main inspiration as herself?

sdereski

I recognize you meant this as a motherhood empowerment post, OP. But this is a blanket statement that treats every woman like all our bodies are the same and unintentionally implies those who don't have bodies that return to normal or better are simply not working hard enough. It's like making a blanket statement that no woman should ever gain more than 50 pounds being pregnant. Or you can prevent any stretch marks with putting lotion on your belly. It doesn't work that way! Sure, there is no reason to throw in the towel without trying to look the best you can after having children, but it isn't possible for some women to look and be physically in the state they were before motherhood.

^^this^^. I was 20 when I had my first son, so had young healthy skin. However, the stretch marks I got (even though I used the lotions and oils that I was told would help prevent them) still "mar" my belly to this day. I have continued to work hard, and have never been able to get that flat belly back again. On the bright side - my stretch marks are not as bad as some women's and I am grateful for that, and I like them. It reminds me that I gave birth to two big beautiful boys. :happy:

dewsmom78

it definitely alters your body and your metabolism. i know that after having my daughter and being in my mid-30s, my metabolism has changed (slowed down). i've had to change the way i workout and be very disciplined with my food in order to see results. it's def not as easy to lose weight as it was when i was younger.

Totally agree. I had my daughter 15 months ago at age 33. I gained 45lbs with her, lost 30 right away, then slowly lost 5 last year. This year I am still trying to lose the last 10bs. I can tell my metabolism has totally changed.

whierd

"Ruin" is a subjective term in this case. Change is a better term. Some women experience little change, while others get a lot of stretch marks or a belly pooch. It varies quite a bit. But it in no way makes you unattractive if you do have changes.

A belly pooch will largely go away with proper nutrition and exercise. Stretch marks? They just aren't a big deal. Most people have stretch marka and I have personally never thought less of a woman for having them.

DawnieB1977

Well done to you for looking good, you're lucky! I totally agree that pregnancy isn't an excuse to 'let yourself go' but not everyone's body reacts in the same way to pregnancy.

I exercised until I was 34 weeks pregnant with my first. I was 31 and have never been naturally slim, I've always had to work at it. I had a short break from exercise when I had some bleeding as it scared me. I worked full time as a teacher up to 36 weeks. I still put on weight. The nausea in early pregnancy had me craving carbs which I usually limit and at the end I probably did eat too much sweet stuff, so that is entirely my own fault.

I lost the weight I put in though but put it all on again and more in my 2nd pregnancy. I had early bleeding again, the nausea was worse, and I had my toddler son to look after and I was exhausted. Because I'd lost weight by living off salad, as soon as I ate normally in pregnancy I put weight on again.

My daughter is 2 on Sun and I'm now smaller than I've been for 10 years, but I still have a mummy tummy, despite lots and lots of exercise!

So not everyone can be lucky and not everyone is blessed with good genetics.

It's like me saying, well, I gave birth just using gas and air and didn't even need stitches, hey, everyone, you can do that too! No, I was lucky with labour and and birth and can recognise that!

Slendertree

I'm one of the "lucky" ones. I had 4 kids in 5 years and I have a flat stomach and very few stretch marks. I DO have good genes. Not every body is going to handle pregnancy the same. Our bodies are not all built the same.

You look great.

kawickham85

by "let yourself go", believe it or not i didn't mean 'end up looking like anything other than me'. hahaha. you guys are too funny. I am referring to the women who dont even try. the women who are self described as being "fat", who complain about being overweight/out of shape, the women who HATE their body and yet eat donuts, drink milkshakes, and sit on their *kitten* because they're moms and that what moms do. i have a relative who was pregnant at the same time as i was. we started off the same. same height, same weight. she gained three times as much weight as i did during pregnancy. she said how she was going to 'enjoy' her pregnancy and eat whatever she wanted. i didn't do this. after delivery, she took it easy and still does. i didn't do this. she says things like, "i'd rather have my child and hate my body than love my body and not have my child". i say you can have both: a body you can be proud of AND children. it's not one or the other.

and yes, i realize that individual results may vary. as long as you do the best you can, that's all that matters.

nytius

also very sweet to discuss your mother's boobs on the internet with strangers.

I was back to take up for you. This disappoints.

This I had a whole spiel planned on the positive intent of the OP and I think I'll just keep it.

_chiaroscuro

All I'm gonna say is that it never ceases to amaze me what lengths folks on the Internet will go to just to avoid saying "My bad, I probably shouldn't have said that."

You think you're gonna get that from someone who lists her main inspiration as herself?

I list myself first under inspiration too. Not sure why that implies something negative?

kitka82

"Ruin" is a subjective term in this case. Change is a better term. Some women experience little change, while others get a lot of stretch marks or a belly pooch. It varies quite a bit. But it in no way makes you unattractive if you do have changes.

A belly pooch will largely go away with proper nutrition and exercise. Stretch marks? They just aren't a big deal. Most people have stretch marka and I have personally never thought less of a woman for having them.

Exactly.

JenAndSome

and my body is definitely not perfect. i'm still breastfeeding my 1.5 year old and definitely have lost some volume in that area. i'm merely working with what i got.

Still breastfeeding at a year and a half? Great job! My son was 14 months when he decided he was done with it. I was kind of glad to lose the nursing bras and huge (for me) boobs though.

Achrya

The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.

presonally, i always wished i knew that sometimes it did screw you up. just so that when it happened to me i was mentally prepared and knew it was within normal.

you can't make an educated choice, you can't have informed consent, until you know all of the facts.

if a person's only reason for not having kids is fear of not looking so pretty after, are they really ready to have kids yet? is it really the best option to lie to them?

the reality is that pregnancy is a serious business. it can ruin your body and it can endanger your health, or even your life. there are things you can do to minimise the risks but there are no guarantees. yet, if you ask most mums, your kids are more than worth it.

I've always wondered about the logic of trying to convince women who say things like "I don't want to get fat" that they should have children. Like...why does that sound like a good idea? Does she strike you as a woman with priorities geared towards child rearing?

I've had this actual conversation with my sister, bless her silly soul.

"You would be a great mom Chelle, you should do it before you get too old." (I'm 25, btw.)
"I don't want to get fat."
"It's not FAT, it's a baby!"
"...K. I don't want to screw up my body."
"(insert five minute explanation of how it doesn't screw up your body and even if it does it's so so worth it.)"
"I spend 3 to 5 hours a day playing video games and I'm not prepared to have a kid interrupting my raid time with their need for food and love and crap."
"Well that's just SELFISH!"

Oh. That's the point where I seemed selfish? Not the other stuff? It isn't glaring obvious that I shouldn't be having kids? No? Alright then.

And it's the OP that's Judgy McJudgerson eh? Way to generalize.

I didn't say it was a deterrent, I said it scared the beejesus out of me. I'm 30 years old, I don't have the luxury to go around another 5 years to rock my new body around before I decide to have kids. I'm fully aware it's my own fault for not taking steps sooner. Might want to stop passing on your frustrations on random internet people.

What are you talking about? I wasn't talking about you? Why in the world would you assume something that highlights my own selfishness was about you or passing on my frustrations (What frustrations did I demonstrate, btw?) to you or anyone else?

I am not one to say someone who is offended is over-sensitive, as the things we take to heart vary wildly from person to person...but in this case you might be reading too much into a statement that literally had nothing to do with you.


That aside, to the person who said it was nice of me to pitch in for my mom's surgery than you. I feel like, considering, we kind of owe her. And to the OP, my mother doesn't mind if I discuss her boobs on the internet; she's not ashamed of them and is certainly not ashamed of her plan to get work done, but I'll pass along your apparent concern to her.