I'm curious, what's your experience with Gaydar?
I was talking with some female friends and we all agreed that there's a certain sixth sense that tells us, within seconds, when a man is gay. I can usually tell by observing a guy's walk or by his voice. Strangely, I don't experience the same "gaydar" thing with other women and I can't distinguish a gay woman from a straight one.
Just out of curiosity, who on here believes that they have Gaydar? Do you have it just for the opposite sex, or for your own sex as well?
Just out of curiosity, who on here believes that they have Gaydar? Do you have it just for the opposite sex, or for your own sex as well?
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How do you test whether or not they're actually gay?0
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I believe in Gaydar to a degree.
I'll cite two examples:
My sister introduced me to a so called "straight" guy, and at first sight one would assume so, but after I shook his hand I just knew he was gay. There wasn't anything that made this abundantly clear, although I told my sister that he was gay, and that I was absolutely sure of it. She insisted I was wrong.
He came out two weeks later. Boom.
Another person I met through my sister... claimed to be straight. Mmmhmm. Just something about the dude told me he was a lyin' sack of crap.
He mentioned his boyfriend on Facebook. Boom.
These are just two recent times, there have been others, as well. I have been wrong before, but not as much as I've been right. XD0 -
I think most people have a gaydar to a certain extent. It really depends on the person, though--people come in all sorts of colours.
The funniest example I can think of is my cousin and I. When I first met her a few months back at a family gathering, I knew nothing about her, but my first thought was "yup, she's a lesbian". We spent most of the day exchanging weird looks to each other, but eventually we warmed up and started talking.
Turns out, I was right. Also turns out, she had the same exact first impression of me (and she was right)!0 -
How do you test whether or not they're actually gay?
They usually mention it at some point, and confirm my secret first impression. If they don't mention it, then it's not my business and I stay quiet.0 -
I can always tell when people are gay before they even admit it or know it themselves. I was friends with a boy all through middle and high school, and as soon as I met him I knew he was gay, though he insisted he as not and that was "gross." He finally came out junior year and I was like like, no ****, Sherlock.
Same with another guy I was friends with. He was obviously gay (unfortunately that didn't stop me from having a huge crush on him, so frustrating!) but he didn't come to terms with it until last year.
My fiance's little cousin is 6 years old and I just know he's gonna be gay. Or transgender. It is just so obvious to me and my fiance. Unfortunately his parents are those types like "no son of mine is gonna be a *kitten*" and how if any of them were a "*kitten*" they'd be disowned. Sad, really.0 -
I can always tell when people are gay before they even admit it or know it themselves. I was friends with a boy all through middle and high school, and as soon as I met him I knew he was gay, though he insisted he as not and that was "gross." He finally came out junior year and I was like like, no ****, Sherlock.
Same with another guy I was friends with. He was obviously gay (unfortunately that didn't stop me from having a huge crush on him, so frustrating!) but he didn't come to terms with it until last year.
My fiance's little cousin is 6 years old and I just know he's gonna be gay. Or transgender. It is just so obvious to me and my fiance. Unfortunately his parents are those types like "no son of mine is gonna be a *kitten*" and how if any of them were a "*kitten*" they'd be disowned. Sad, really.
That's a horrible thing to say to say to ANY child.
That poor little boy.
I know what you mean about sensing kids' future orientation. My sister is a teacher and gets that different vibe from a few students. One day she asked the 6-7 year-olds to call out words beginning with "G". After some kids had listed Ghost, Golf club, Giraffe, etc. one little boy suggested (in a precious voice) "The Gap?"0 -
I can always tell when people are gay before they even admit it or know it themselves. I was friends with a boy all through middle and high school, and as soon as I met him I knew he was gay, though he insisted he as not and that was "gross." He finally came out junior year and I was like like, no ****, Sherlock.
Same with another guy I was friends with. He was obviously gay (unfortunately that didn't stop me from having a huge crush on him, so frustrating!) but he didn't come to terms with it until last year.
My fiance's little cousin is 6 years old and I just know he's gonna be gay. Or transgender. It is just so obvious to me and my fiance. Unfortunately his parents are those types like "no son of mine is gonna be a *kitten*" and how if any of them were a "*kitten*" they'd be disowned. Sad, really.
That's a horrible thing to say to say to ANY child. That poor little boy.
I know what you mean about sensing kids' future orientation. My sister is a teacher and gets that different vibe from a few students. One day she asked the 6-7 year-olds to call out words beginning with "G". After some kids had listed Ghost, Golf club, Giraffe, etc. one little boy suggested (in a precious voice) "The Gap?"
:laugh: that's great! Yeah I feel sorry for the kid. My fiance and I have already decided to take him in in the event his parents ever turn him away. He likes to go in the basement and dress up in his sister's clothes, steal his mom's makeup and put it on, likes to have painted nails, likes to pick out pretty dresses at the store...this is why I'm thinking he will probably be transgendered rather than gay. He says he has crushes on people like Justin Bieber, Harry Styles, etc. Poor kid is just so, so gay and is gonna be so, so unloved :frown:0 -
I tend to just assume that most guys I meet are gay.
I need better straight-dar to be quite honest.0 -
Is there anyway to up the range of your straight-dar? I bet there is an infomercial product that can help with that.I tend to just assume that most guys I meet are gay.
I need better straight-dar to be quite honest.0 -
i think my gaydar is pretty strong for males, much weaker for females.0
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Gaydar is a funny thing. Like a spidey sense.
Aside from the stereotypes, there are other 'clues' that we subconsciously pick up on. I can tell a gay woman from her mannerisms and other things. My gaydar is usually pretty good however few people think I myself am gay.
Actually, I do like surprising people! I remember being on a course once and all the other participants were men. I was tired one morning and over dinner someone suggested it was because I had stayed up too late with one of the guys. I laughed and said actually I'm a lesbian.
There was total shocked silence before nervous laughter from the group and the trainers thinking it was hilarious.
I'm not sure you can label kids thou. I wouldn't even attempt to try. I think that sexuality develops as we develop and what you are at age 6 may not be what you are at sixteen.
My nephew two years ago wanted to wear princess dresses, now he is rocky balboa.0 -
I'm really good at telling if a guy is gay.
As for women, my gaydar is way off. Seems to be this way for most people.0 -
I think there are always exceptions to the rule, but we get a lot of visual and non visual information everytime we meet new people. I think some people just know what to look for.
When I was 16 I made a new best friend from a different school. One day after I had been to her house her parents said 'she's a nice girl, but you do know she's gay'.
My friend said no way! And didn't tell me until much later. I dated boys until I was 17 then started the long process of coming out.
How did they know before I did? They are truly the exception in my case, and I can only assume I was giving off some vibe that they had seen before ?0 -
Isn't it just the same as any other non-verbal cue?
People instinctively decide things about people they meet straight away, this is just one of the attributes.
Some people are good at it, some people are terrible at it, and no one is perfect at it.0 -
I believe in Gaydar to a degree.
I'll cite two examples:
My sister introduced me to a so called "straight" guy, and at first sight one would assume so, but after I shook his hand I just knew he was gay. There wasn't anything that made this abundantly clear, although I told my sister that he was gay, and that I was absolutely sure of it. She insisted I was wrong.
He came out two weeks later. Boom.
Another person I met through my sister... claimed to be straight. Mmmhmm. Just something about the dude told me he was a lyin' sack of crap.
He mentioned his boyfriend on Facebook. Boom.
These are just two recent times, there have been others, as well. I have been wrong before, but not as much as I've been right. XD
The gay is contagious and you gave it to those guys. Duh! :laugh:
p.s. Mods, I know the person and he will not be offended by my post.0 -
A lesbian lady asked if I was gay, maybe it's cause I'm pretty...0
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For my part, I have a terrible gaydar. As a gay man this can be tricky.
Although, often if I'm wrong when I first meet a guy, by the end of the night it's a different story.
I find it much easier to recognise lesbians although I couldn't tell you why.0 -
I have a high voice and walk the italian walk, always tucked my t- shirts in as i had no belly to hide and the final evidence was being a "pretty boy".
I ve had countless women tell me and insist i m gay, countless men assume it , countless gays assume it and when in a gay enviroment it was always the gay using the ladies in a glamorous dress and hat that would make his way over and engage in conversation (never the rough ones in belts and chains) - i have no strong thoughts on gays so found all of this stereotyping over voice walk and dress code amusing unless i was forced to argue the fact i was nt gay.
Fact is i ve had 2 long term relationships with women of 14 years and 10 and filled the gaps with excess and if you re gaydar is based on what you say it is ..its flawed and non functional end of.
ps. for the ladies.
i lived in a nursing traing centre sneeking into to be with my girlfriend who was part of a class of 21 doing nurse training and living in ... there was a lesbian on the course and at the end of 3 years she had slept with 12 of the people on her course and i came to the conclusion when women are emotionally upset they will resort to any comfort and shoulder to lean on.0 -
If a man's gay he will wear skinny jeans, enjoy skiing, and look good in pink shirts.
I just live off the assumption that all women are comfortable going both ways.0 -
I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...0
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I was talking with some female friends and we all agreed that there's a certain sixth sense that tells us, within seconds, when a man is gay. I can usually tell by observing a guy's walk or by his voice. Strangely, I don't experience the same "gaydar" thing with other women and I can't distinguish a gay woman from a straight one.
Just out of curiosity, who on here believes that they have Gaydar? Do you have it just for the opposite sex, or for your own sex as well?
thing about gay dar is, girls think they have it, but they sooo don't. just cause you've seen an episode of will and grace or the L word doesn't make you some kind of gay detecting savant.
sorry. stereotypes dont work. try again.0 -
If a man's gay he will wear skinny jeans, enjoy skiing, and look good in pink shirts.
I just live off the assumption that all women are comfortable going both ways.
LOL I have tight jeans on, enjoy snowboarding and look FABULOUS in pink shirts......does that make me gay ?
I had gaydar once but it had no batteries and the manual was in Chinese so I took it back to the shop :laugh:
I'm pretty good at determining whether a guy or girl is or isn't. Doesn't matter if they are or are not however, it's all love
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this^^^I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...0 -
sorry. stereotypes dont work. try again.
[/quote]
and this^^^0 -
this^^^I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...
yah. I concur.0 -
I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...
You too?0 -
I can usually tell but a person's sexuality isn't a big deal to me. Let them marry or do what they want with another consenting adult.0
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I have a high voice and walk the italian walk, always tucked my t- shirts in as i had no belly to hide and the final evidence was being a "pretty boy".
I ve had countless women tell me and insist i m gay, countless men assume it , countless gays assume it and when in a gay enviroment it was always the gay using the ladies in a glamorous dress and hat that would make his way over and engage in conversation (never the rough ones in belts and chains) - i have no strong thoughts on gays so found all of this stereotyping over voice walk and dress code amusing unless i was forced to argue the fact i was nt gay.
Fact is i ve had 2 long term relationships with women of 14 years and 10 and filled the gaps with excess and if you re gaydar is based on what you say it is ..its flawed and non functional end of.
ps. for the ladies.
i lived in a nursing traing centre sneeking into to be with my girlfriend who was part of a class of 21 doing nurse training and living in ... there was a lesbian on the course and at the end of 3 years she had slept with 12 of the people on her course and i came to the conclusion when women are emotionally upset they will resort to any comfort and shoulder to lean on.
I'm the female equivalent of this. I've always been a "tomboy" (although I don't like that word, it implies that I'm not supposed to be how I am), I did judo as a child/teenager, and ice hockey as a teenager/young adult, now I'm into weightlifting with the main goal to get as strong as I can... I walk and move around confidently, this equates in some people's minds to "I walk like a man" because they equate "feminine" with "weak, delicate and retiring".... I also have a large frame (and I'm short so that makes my frame size look larger), and my jaw is wider than my forehead, and I'm naturally strong. I wear quite gender neutral clothing, such as jeans and t-shirts and I rarely wear make-up (low maintenance, I really can't be bothered unless I'm going somewhere special with my husband). I have lost count of how many times people have thought I was a lesbian. In fact when I was young and insecure, I went through a phase of thinking that I should have been a lesbian or was supposed to be, and there was something wrong with me because I didn't fancy women. Of course, I no longer attach any importance to stereotypes. People are people, and some gay people are just like the stereotypes and some straight people are just like the stereotypes, but there are both gay and straight people who are not like the stereotypes at all.
Anyway, I'm inclined to think that most "gaydar" comes from stereotyping and also observer bias - a scientific phenomenon where people remember when things fit their preconceived ideas far more than when they don't, and they also will explain away the times that things don't fit, to make them fit their preconceived idea... an example of this in the context of "gaydar" would be someone saying someone's gay, finding out they're straight then saying "oh but they must be in denial" - i.e. they go on believing that their "gaydar" is accurate and that the straight person isn't really straight.
I'm against homophobia, but I'm also against stereotypes, and stereotypes tend to reinforce prejudice rather than eliminate it. Even if they're fairly positive stereotypes.0 -
this^^^I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...
yah. I concur.
^^^^ this0 -
sorry. stereotypes dont work. try again.
That's the conclusion I've reached, after working for a couple of years in an office next to a guy I thought was straight. Until I started attending a new church, which he and his partner Bob attended. Twenty years later, he and Bob are still together, comfortably retired in FL. Same on the female side: one of my FB friends is a former co-worker I got to know on the corporate Spelling Bee team. Had no idea she was anything but straight till she mentioned her partner Reba. They've got 2 lovely children whose pictures I see regularly on FB,
So, yeah, my gaydar isn't great but it's not really important to me who is and who isn't, anyway.0
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