I'm curious, what's your experience with Gaydar?

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  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    I was talking with some female friends and we all agreed that there's a certain sixth sense that tells us, within seconds, when a man is gay. I can usually tell by observing a guy's walk or by his voice. Strangely, I don't experience the same "gaydar" thing with other women and I can't distinguish a gay woman from a straight one.

    Just out of curiosity, who on here believes that they have Gaydar? Do you have it just for the opposite sex, or for your own sex as well?

    thing about gay dar is, girls think they have it, but they sooo don't. just cause you've seen an episode of will and grace or the L word doesn't make you some kind of gay detecting savant.

    sorry. stereotypes dont work. try again.
  • Echo_Dan
    Echo_Dan Posts: 312 Member
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    If a man's gay he will wear skinny jeans, enjoy skiing, and look good in pink shirts.

    I just live off the assumption that all women are comfortable going both ways.

    LOL I have tight jeans on, enjoy snowboarding and look FABULOUS in pink shirts......does that make me gay ?

    I had gaydar once but it had no batteries and the manual was in Chinese so I took it back to the shop :laugh:

    I'm pretty good at determining whether a guy or girl is or isn't. Doesn't matter if they are or are not however, it's all love :smile:
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...
    this^^^
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    sorry. stereotypes dont work. try again.
    [/quote]
    and this^^^
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...
    this^^^

    yah. I concur.
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
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    I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...

    You too?
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
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    I can usually tell but a person's sexuality isn't a big deal to me. Let them marry or do what they want with another consenting adult.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I have a high voice and walk the italian walk, always tucked my t- shirts in as i had no belly to hide and the final evidence was being a "pretty boy".

    I ve had countless women tell me and insist i m gay, countless men assume it , countless gays assume it and when in a gay enviroment it was always the gay using the ladies in a glamorous dress and hat that would make his way over and engage in conversation (never the rough ones in belts and chains) - i have no strong thoughts on gays so found all of this stereotyping over voice walk and dress code amusing unless i was forced to argue the fact i was nt gay.

    Fact is i ve had 2 long term relationships with women of 14 years and 10 and filled the gaps with excess and if you re gaydar is based on what you say it is ..its flawed and non functional end of.

    ps. for the ladies.

    i lived in a nursing traing centre sneeking into to be with my girlfriend who was part of a class of 21 doing nurse training and living in ... there was a lesbian on the course and at the end of 3 years she had slept with 12 of the people on her course and i came to the conclusion when women are emotionally upset they will resort to any comfort and shoulder to lean on.

    I'm the female equivalent of this. I've always been a "tomboy" (although I don't like that word, it implies that I'm not supposed to be how I am), I did judo as a child/teenager, and ice hockey as a teenager/young adult, now I'm into weightlifting with the main goal to get as strong as I can... I walk and move around confidently, this equates in some people's minds to "I walk like a man" because they equate "feminine" with "weak, delicate and retiring".... I also have a large frame (and I'm short so that makes my frame size look larger), and my jaw is wider than my forehead, and I'm naturally strong. I wear quite gender neutral clothing, such as jeans and t-shirts and I rarely wear make-up (low maintenance, I really can't be bothered unless I'm going somewhere special with my husband). I have lost count of how many times people have thought I was a lesbian. In fact when I was young and insecure, I went through a phase of thinking that I should have been a lesbian or was supposed to be, and there was something wrong with me because I didn't fancy women. Of course, I no longer attach any importance to stereotypes. People are people, and some gay people are just like the stereotypes and some straight people are just like the stereotypes, but there are both gay and straight people who are not like the stereotypes at all.

    Anyway, I'm inclined to think that most "gaydar" comes from stereotyping and also observer bias - a scientific phenomenon where people remember when things fit their preconceived ideas far more than when they don't, and they also will explain away the times that things don't fit, to make them fit their preconceived idea... an example of this in the context of "gaydar" would be someone saying someone's gay, finding out they're straight then saying "oh but they must be in denial" - i.e. they go on believing that their "gaydar" is accurate and that the straight person isn't really straight.

    I'm against homophobia, but I'm also against stereotypes, and stereotypes tend to reinforce prejudice rather than eliminate it. Even if they're fairly positive stereotypes.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I have a "don't really care about someone's sexuality"dar...
    this^^^

    yah. I concur.

    ^^^^ this
  • Athena53
    Athena53 Posts: 717 Member
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    sorry. stereotypes dont work. try again.

    That's the conclusion I've reached, after working for a couple of years in an office next to a guy I thought was straight. Until I started attending a new church, which he and his partner Bob attended. Twenty years later, he and Bob are still together, comfortably retired in FL. Same on the female side: one of my FB friends is a former co-worker I got to know on the corporate Spelling Bee team. Had no idea she was anything but straight till she mentioned her partner Reba. They've got 2 lovely children whose pictures I see regularly on FB,

    So, yeah, my gaydar isn't great but it's not really important to me who is and who isn't, anyway.
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
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    It doesn't just apply to men. I am gay and I can rarely tell if a 'straight looking' woman is gay too or not.

    There are some that fit the stereotype, of course, who are blatant in their behaviour, mannerisms, dress, speech, etc, but an otherwise nondescript person is impossible.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    This so called "gaydar" is just based on visual stereotypes and what most would say "educated guesses" based on previous experience and situations. I actually helped with an experiment in college dealing with these types of stereotypes and a lot of the people were very surprised to find how wrong they were.

    Also if you think about it, an actual Radar picks a dot in a big area. A "gaydar" is a 50/50 system, so pretty much a flip of a coin between "oh my god I totally called it" and "oh well no straight guy should be doing/saying/wearing that".
  • StripedSmoker
    StripedSmoker Posts: 104 Member
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    It doesn't always work, so bascially it's just "Fingers crossed, please be homo, girl!" for me. But sometimes you just know, you know?
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I have three sisters, all very feminine and girly when we were little, I was the youngest and a massive tomboy, I think I actually wanted to be a boy. Years later I couldn't be more straight and my girliest sister, all pretty and delicate is a lesbian. You can't always tell and who gives a damn anyway!
  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
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    It doesn't just apply to men. I am gay and I can rarely tell if a 'straight looking' woman is gay too or not.

    There are some that fit the stereotype, of course, who are blatant in their behaviour, mannerisms, dress, speech, etc, but an otherwise nondescript person is impossible.

    true..

    but to increase your success rate just give any woman a shoulder to lean on and a bit of emotiomnal support and you ll never look back.

    As for men .. if a man has a strong dislike of gays, 9 times out of 10 he has had a gay experience and thus is gay or bi but fails to cope internally !!!
  • smokeyg01
    smokeyg01 Posts: 1,064
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    If they don't like football they are usually gay
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
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    Obviously I don't have it because I am still in love with Lance Bass.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    If they don't like football they are usually gay

    You mean the sport were a bunch of big guys chase down a small guy with a leather item and if they catch him they pile on him?
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    If they don't like football they are usually gay

    I must be gay.
  • Echo_Dan
    Echo_Dan Posts: 312 Member
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    If they don't like football they are usually gay

    I hate football. So your argument fails !!

    Both American Football, and proper Football !!

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