giving up alcohol

gobonas99

My ex husband was a big partier. He simply could NOT go out and have a drink with friends - "one drink" would invariably turn into coming home drunk (driving home, if I hadn't gone with him) - one of the reasons he is my ex. I was never a big drinker - I can count on one hand the number of times I've been drunk (and they were all in college). But I certainly wouldn't turn down a glass of wine at dinner, or a mixed drink while out (I despise beer).

That said, when I met my fiance in 2005, he told me he was a recovering alcoholic (12 years this past St Patrick's Day). In the almost 8 years that we have been together, I have had maybe 10 drinks (glasses of wine at Christmas dinner, and a glass of champagne at a couple of weddings). Outside of that, I don't drink any more out of respect for him. We still go out and we still socialize with friends. He just drinks soda and I normally drink water.

If you're worried about what what your friends might think, just get a coke or sprite (in a small glass) and ditch the straw - people will think you're drinking rum and coke or a vodka tonic. But truth be told, if your friends give you crap about not drinking, it's most likely because they're trying to shift attention from THEIR drinking (or else, as my fiance discovered, they're not truly your friends - true friends won't care if you drink or not....he has VERY few people from his drinking days that he is still friends with).

mcdebbie

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

KatLifter

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

A.A.
Not being flip, if it's hard, go to a meeting after work.

Metallux

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

you can also check out S.M.A.R.T. http://www.smartrecovery.org/ its an alcohol recovery group with online group meetings 2-3 times a day. lots of very good coping skills taught there. its based in cognitive behavioral therapy, which worked for me because I'm not religious.

bearkisses

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

you can also check out S.M.A.R.T. http://www.smartrecovery.org/ its an alcohol recovery group with online group meetings 2-3 times a day. lots of very good coping skills taught there. its based in cognitive behavioral therapy, which worked for me because I'm not religious.

thank you for this resource! i work in community type services and always know a good one when i see it. i will check it out tonight and probably post it in my office if me likes

KatLifter

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

you can also check out S.M.A.R.T. http://www.smartrecovery.org/ its an alcohol recovery group with online group meetings 2-3 times a day. lots of very good coping skills taught there. its based in cognitive behavioral therapy, which worked for me because I'm not religious.

thank you for this resource! i work in community type services and always know a good one when i see it. i will check it out tonight and probably post it in my office if me likes

I've been to both.
At SMART there is a 'facilitator' who takes notes, which stuck me as odd. Although from working in substance abuse treatment, the theories are solid.
AA is not a religious program. It is a spiritual program, just as long as you don't think you're the center of the world, that there is something bigger.

bearkisses

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

you can also check out S.M.A.R.T. http://www.smartrecovery.org/ its an alcohol recovery group with online group meetings 2-3 times a day. lots of very good coping skills taught there. its based in cognitive behavioral therapy, which worked for me because I'm not religious.

thank you for this resource! i work in community type services and always know a good one when i see it. i will check it out tonight and probably post it in my office if me likes

I've been to both.
At SMART there is a 'facilitator' who takes notes, which stuck me as odd. Although from working in substance abuse treatment, the theories are solid.
AA is not a religious program. It is a spiritual program, just as long as you don't think you're the center of the world, that there is something bigger.

it depends on the participants of the AA group. i have worked in a treatment centre that really encouraged the 12 step model...and had I been there as a client, i surely would have failed.

KatLifter

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

you can also check out S.M.A.R.T. http://www.smartrecovery.org/ its an alcohol recovery group with online group meetings 2-3 times a day. lots of very good coping skills taught there. its based in cognitive behavioral therapy, which worked for me because I'm not religious.

thank you for this resource! i work in community type services and always know a good one when i see it. i will check it out tonight and probably post it in my office if me likes

I've been to both.
At SMART there is a 'facilitator' who takes notes, which stuck me as odd. Although from working in substance abuse treatment, the theories are solid.
AA is not a religious program. It is a spiritual program, just as long as you don't think you're the center of the world, that there is something bigger.

it depends on the participants of the AA group. i have worked in a treatment centre that really encouraged the 12 step model...and had I been there as a client, i surely would have failed.

Treatment centers can be tough, I think it is different in the community.
12 step does not mean religious. You can go through the steps and not believe in God.

CarsonRuns

12 step does not mean religious. You can go through the steps and not believe in God.

110% true. Choose your own Higher Power.

Last drink: 10/29/2007

Don't give up before the miracle happens.

craigmandu

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

Honestly, for me, I just decided to stop completely. I didn't do AA, as I know me, I would have found all kinds of reasons in my head to find fault with what they preach. And I'm very "anti" religious, and they focus primarily on "higher power"..which to me relates to religion.

Also, I wouldn't try to "change" those around you. If you want to stop, then stop, however you need to do that do it (Be it AA, or any other program), I find alot of problems happen when people try to "force" others to do something they aren't ready to do.

Good Luck! I wish you great success in your journey!

CarsonRuns

Honestly, for me, I just decided to stop completely. I didn't do AA, as I know me, I would have found all kinds of reasons in my head to find fault with what they preach. And I'm very "anti" religious, and they focus primarily on "higher power"..which to me relates to religion.

Just to clarify, AA doesn't "preach". We share our experience and what worked for us. If someone can use that experience to help them recover, that's wonderful. Just like no one poured booze down my throat before I got sober, no one shoved AA down it either. It's a program of attraction, not promotion. It works for people that want it.

You relation of Higher Power to religion is a common theme and there are many sober people today that felt the exact same way as you and were able to get and stay sober in AA. I'm one of them.

Not trying to recruit here, just giving some perspective from inside the program.

All the best.

Carson

bearkisses

I wish we could stop, it's an everyday thing at our house. Drink from 6-10 then dinner then bed - just working wonders for our waistlines. I think we may have gotten to the end of the rope though, my liver hurts and DH feels like crap all of the time.

For those of you who quit completely did you pick a day - say June 1 and decided you would quit then or did you just wake up one morning feeling horrible and said "this is the day"?

And any suggestions for the hours from 6-8? I will exercise but DH won't. (physicially demanding job) I would like something we can do together.

you can also check out S.M.A.R.T. http://www.smartrecovery.org/ its an alcohol recovery group with online group meetings 2-3 times a day. lots of very good coping skills taught there. its based in cognitive behavioral therapy, which worked for me because I'm not religious.

thank you for this resource! i work in community type services and always know a good one when i see it. i will check it out tonight and probably post it in my office if me likes

I've been to both.
At SMART there is a 'facilitator' who takes notes, which stuck me as odd. Although from working in substance abuse treatment, the theories are solid.
AA is not a religious program. It is a spiritual program, just as long as you don't think you're the center of the world, that there is something bigger.

it depends on the participants of the AA group. i have worked in a treatment centre that really encouraged the 12 step model...and had I been there as a client, i surely would have failed.

Treatment centers can be tough, I think it is different in the community.
12 step does not mean religious. You can go through the steps and not believe in God.

right. but the basic premise of it is based on religion. i have been to AA and worked in treatment. you can go through it if you are convicted in your disbelief and not let religiousity rub you the wrong way.


1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Now...you can technically remove god from all of the above. But I would find that very difficult in struggling with alcoholism and having some preachy sponsor tell me to give in to God

bearkisses

Honestly, for me, I just decided to stop completely. I didn't do AA, as I know me, I would have found all kinds of reasons in my head to find fault with what they preach. And I'm very "anti" religious, and they focus primarily on "higher power"..which to me relates to religion.

Just to clarify, AA doesn't "preach". We share our experience and what worked for us. If someone can use that experience to help them recover, that's wonderful. Just like no one poured booze down my throat before I got sober, no one shoved AA down it either. It's a program of attraction, not promotion. It works for people that want it.

You relation of Higher Power to religion is a common theme and there are many sober people today that felt the exact same way as you and were able to get and stay sober in AA. I'm one of them.

Not trying to recruit here, just giving some perspective from inside the program.

All the best.

Carson

this is all your opinion and experience. other people have experienced AA differently.

CarsonRuns

Now...you can technically remove god from all of the above. But I would find that very difficult in struggling with alcoholism and having some preachy sponsor tell me to give in to God

Good thing we can choose the sponsor that works the best for us.

bearkisses

Now...you can technically remove god from all of the above. But I would find that very difficult in struggling with alcoholism and having some preachy sponsor tell me to give in to God

Good thing we can choose the sponsor that works the best for us.

you should look up "group think", just because it worked for you does not mean AA is apt for others.

CarsonRuns

this is all your opinion and experience. other people have experienced AA differently.

No, not all my opinion. Much of what I stated is from the program literature, which is the program. People have free will and there are always going to be those that misinterpret it or abuse their position, and that's unfortunate.


I'm of the opinion that if someone wants to get sober, then they should use whatever means works for them. I'll not denigrate any program. All I know is that AA, which started with one drunk talking to another, has now worked for millions of people around the world, all for the cost of a cup of coffee or less.

craigmandu

Honestly, for me, I just decided to stop completely. I didn't do AA, as I know me, I would have found all kinds of reasons in my head to find fault with what they preach. And I'm very "anti" religious, and they focus primarily on "higher power"..which to me relates to religion.

Just to clarify, AA doesn't "preach". We share our experience and what worked for us. If someone can use that experience to help them recover, that's wonderful. Just like no one poured booze down my throat before I got sober, no one shoved AA down it either. It's a program of attraction, not promotion. It works for people that want it.

You relation of Higher Power to religion is a common theme and there are many sober people today that felt the exact same way as you and were able to get and stay sober in AA. I'm one of them.

Not trying to recruit here, just giving some perspective from inside the program.

All the best.

Carson

I'm not knocking it man....I have some good friends in AA. I just know me, and I know how I relate things. I have to put the full responsibility on myself in most everything I do...

My message is if you truely want to stop alcohol...do whatever it takes to stop.

CarsonRuns

My message is if you truely want to stop alcohol...do whatever it takes to stop.

On this, I completely agree.

Espressocycle

I stopped having my evening quadruple whiskey to help with weight loss. Now a double gets me just as buzzed. I'm now a cheap date.

Mrsallypants

better get the vodka bottles out from under the kitchen sink and from under the bed.