That awkward moment when...

Willowana

Social anxiety is something someone can overcome. On the books, I have what's known as "Avoidant Personality Disorder"....which is a very severe form of social anxiety. I can be the life of the party. I can talk and joke with everyone. Inside? Well, I'm dying inside and I want nothing more than to avoid it at all costs.

I could not see another living soul for years and be perfectly fine with that....and that's not an exaggeration. I want nothing more than to buy some land out in the middle of nowhere, live off the grid, and never come in contact with anyone again. That's my retirement plan.

Unfortunately, I need money to live right now. That means I have to swallow my initial instinct to bolt from social settings. It means I can't stammer, stutter, and sweat like I used to. It means I have to leave my house at some point everyday and deal with different people with very different personalities than mine.

So, when I say it can be overcome, it really can. I never expected to work in Corporate America and have to learn these skills, but here I am. Sink or swim. I sank quite a bit in the beginning, but even the most socially inept can adapt when they have to.

Kagemori

I have social anxiety as well. even around family, if were at a gathering of more then 3 people I will often isolate myself in another room or the corner of a room and not say anything to anyone. I don't like large crowds or groups of people. I only tolerate it when its family but even then like I said I still find ways to isolate myself and will just observe the gathering more than participate in it.

When its people I don't know, or know very little, I flat out refuse to go or be apart of the gathering. Im socially awkward, I don't know what to do say or act around such large groups, I don't know social queues or requirements or protocols for certain events. I also I have OCD, mild germ phobia and a rather large touch phobia. I don't like being around people, I don't like interacting more than nessciary with people, im EXTEREMLY shy and basically It just comes down to the fact that large groups, large crowds unnerve me and can even scare me. Im much more comfortable in an environment of small people that I know really well.

GeekAmour

Just came across this & thought it apt.

Lisa1971

That awkward moment when I walk in on my cat masturbating and I'm not sure what to do, so I lay the box of tissues beside him and leave without getting what I need from that room.





The conversation started to go down hill so I thought I would just add that in there.

Ok, no lie but my cat, Slim Shady, gets off on my daughter's stuffed animals! He is neutered but still will steal them off her bed, hide in the closet, and have his way with Elmo. More than once I've caught him and he couldn't care less. He just gives me a look like "what? You mad?" and continues molesting whatever poor stuffed animal he abducted for the day. One time at 3am he decided to molest my dog's squeaky stuffed chicken. I woke up, flipped on the light, and there was Slim Shady doing the nasty with a chicken. He never leaves any "evidence" since he's neutered but OMG it is funny. Sorry for the rambling but that made me think of my cat!

GeekAmour

That awkward moment when I walk in on my cat masturbating and I'm not sure what to do, so I lay the box of tissues beside him and leave without getting what I need from that room.





The conversation started to go down hill so I thought I would just add that in there.

Ok, no lie but my cat, Slim Shady, gets off on my daughter's stuffed animals! He is neutered but still will steal them off her bed, hide in the closet, and have his way with Elmo. More than once I've caught him and he couldn't care less. He just gives me a look like "what? You mad?" and continues molesting whatever poor stuffed animal he abducted for the day. One time at 3am he decided to molest my dog's squeaky stuffed chicken. I woke up, flipped on the light, and there was Slim Shady doing the nasty with a chicken. He never leaves any "evidence" since he's neutered but OMG it is funny. Sorry for the rambling but that made me think of my cat!

Behxo

Hi everyone, I apologize that it seemed like I bailed from the post but as a wrote earlier I was on my phone that wasn't even going to last through the night so for everyone that agreed for me to get off of the phone I was forced to once it died lol. I should've mentioned from the beginning about my social anxiety but since it was kind of a personal thing I didn't really want to I guess...but seeing people giving responses that I felt I made them angry I had to explain my reason. I tried to talk with people but I couldn't hold a long enough conversation and then they'd turn and continue conversation with who they knew. There were three different tvs set up for video games so they were all very focused on playing their games and pretty sure could care less with what I was even doing. By the end of the night as people were leaving, four of them including my boyfriend all scooted to a different tv to play a game and one boy sat on the tv I was in front of, he was pretty easy to talk to but if only he sat there earlier I probably wouldn't of even posted this lol. I'm not going to blame my boyfriend either, once we left I simply explained to him that that should be his "guy time", his night to hang out with the boys. Also I wasn't here for people to entertain me, just for company to have a simple conversation with and I didn't want for anyone to get into a fight or mad... :[ I'm really sorry for causing anything, but I sincerely appreciate the support, hearing your opinions and all of your experiences for those who also have social anxiety.

hellokittymaui

This is more of an issue with the age barrier than anything. You lack the social skills to bridge that gap. It is unfortunate, but it is what it is.

*Sorry, but I must agree with this.

Sqeekyjojo

Talking a little bit, and then talking to somebody else, is how you get to know people.

I find small talk agonising, I'd always be the person at a party hanging out on the stairs or in the garden with the smokers and the divorced. However, I started with just passing comments, sometimes chatting for a while, sometimes sitting in silence (giving up and going home, too) and sometimes talking for hours with somebody I really got on with.

The result of this? A bunch of friends ranging in age from 22 to 47. Plus seeing people I know most times I go into town. It's so much better that way.

You don't overcome or manage social anxiety by sitting at home or in the corner playing nyancat jump. You chip away at it, day after day, week after week and eventually, things aren't quite so hard anymore.

LonLB

Hi everyone, I apologize that it seemed like I bailed from the post but as a wrote earlier I was on my phone that wasn't even going to last through the night so for everyone that agreed for me to get off of the phone I was forced to once it died lol. I should've mentioned from the beginning about my social anxiety but since it was kind of a personal thing I didn't really want to I guess...but seeing people giving responses that I felt I made them angry I had to explain my reason. I tried to talk with people but I couldn't hold a long enough conversation and then they'd turn and continue conversation with who they knew. There were three different tvs set up for video games so they were all very focused on playing their games and pretty sure could care less with what I was even doing. By the end of the night as people were leaving, four of them including my boyfriend all scooted to a different tv to play a game and one boy sat on the tv I was in front of, he was pretty easy to talk to but if only he sat there earlier I probably wouldn't of even posted this lol. I'm not going to blame my boyfriend either, once we left I simply explained to him that that should be his "guy time", his night to hang out with the boys. Also I wasn't here for people to entertain me, just for company to have a simple conversation with and I didn't want for anyone to get into a fight or mad... :[ I'm really sorry for causing anything, but I sincerely appreciate the support, hearing your opinions and all of your experiences for those who also have social anxiety.

Hater's gonna Hate. While you should generally put that evil phone away, the key bit of info you did include was the Eff'n video games. I don't know how you can have a get together that is any kind of social, w/video games involved.

I play one game (an autoracing game) and if company comes over it gets shut off immediately.

Behxo

Yea... well at least it's over now lol I'm sure I'll get over my anxiety in time, I only get it in certain situations. In my opinion there are just some places where people don't belong, like I said I only went to support my boyfriend because he was afraid of being alone. Now that he knows he will do just fine the next time they do this (they planned the first Sunday of every month) he will be confident that he won't be the oddball out and won't need me there. Things like this happen sometimes, all you can do is learn from it, buy anyways thanks for your inputs.

Lisa1971

That awkward moment when I walk in on my cat masturbating and I'm not sure what to do, so I lay the box of tissues beside him and leave without getting what I need from that room.





The conversation started to go down hill so I thought I would just add that in there.

Ok, no lie but my cat, Slim Shady, gets off on my daughter's stuffed animals! He is neutered but still will steal them off her bed, hide in the closet, and have his way with Elmo. More than once I've caught him and he couldn't care less. He just gives me a look like "what? You mad?" and continues molesting whatever poor stuffed animal he abducted for the day. One time at 3am he decided to molest my dog's squeaky stuffed chicken. I woke up, flipped on the light, and there was Slim Shady doing the nasty with a chicken. He never leaves any "evidence" since he's neutered but OMG it is funny. Sorry for the rambling but that made me think of my cat!

Oh my God. Yes, that is my cat right there!

gostumpy

I feel your pain - I'm a bit socially awkward myself. I find the best solution is to pick someone and ask them a question - maybe in this case about gaming, or more specifically about their opinions on/experience with a particular retro game? People love to talk about themselves, and if you get somebody started, it breaks the ice. Good luck!

Most useful advice in this thread :thumbup: