Why do girls get jealous?

salladeve · May 2013

Early in my marriage I got jealous a lot. My dh is a big flirt, and loves women or all ages, shapes and sizes, lol. I think it was my insecurity and immaturity, not any thing that he was doing, because his flirting never really went any where (that I know of at least :noway: ) Now that we are older and I am more secure, in his love for me anyway, (we've been married a very long time), I don't feel jealous even though he still flirts.

farmers_daughter · May 2013

Truth....Insecurities seem the common denominator here..which I can understand.

For those that asked, I'm in "PoDunk" Iowa. Or maybe I just don't get out enough, or notice the signs that guys give off. It is true, I somewhat envy guys that just "let it go" or don't get all up in arms about it. Man that would be nice. So much easier and less headache.

So....next question for those that said they don't get jealous or rarely do.....did you ever get jealous of anything before now? Guess what I'm digging for is if someone does get jealous now because....say of .....insecurities, have you moved forward to not getting jealous anymore? What happened if so?

And for the gal that said it's kind of debilitating.....doll I feel ya....there have been days I wanted to knock down drag out with myself....realizing how much of a wast of time it is. You arent' alone.

theCarlton · May 2013

It really takes a lot for me to get jealous. Someone would have to really know my weakness (I have very few) and then shove it in my face willfully. Even then, I'd have a hard time becoming jealous because even if I felt it, I'd never behave like it bothered me. And I never get hot-headed jealous ever.

Seriously, I think it's ok for people to be proud of themselves, to flaunt what they have, to be excited about something, to just feel good and happy in general. It actually makes me feel good for them instead of inadequate about myself. I feel really good about myself almost all the time.

aelitaangels · May 2013

I think this notion of "girls get jealous of one another, girls are so competitive with one another" is overblown and kinda sexist. It's been made out as if Jealousy is somehow a specifically negative female trait.

Some girls get jealous or competitive with other girls because they're human and jealously is a human emotion.
Guys get competitive and jealous of one another too, but its never mentioned as much as female jealously.
Some girls get insecure easily, others don't. We're all individuals and its unfair to paint the majority of the gender as "easily jealous"

ldrosophila · May 2013

I think there a few jealous guys out there, but you dont hear much about it because they know how to bury the bodies

ldrosophila · May 2013

Yeah I'm going with this one if you are talking about female to female jealousy. However, I find the best cure for jealousy is to get so out of the norm that you are no longer consider competition. Then you get to sit from the sidelines and observe. You might not get the best mate for your offspring, but it saves a lot of drama in your life. So moral of the story become an abnormal freak. Myself as an example I ballooned up to 365lb, but you can chose other routes become disfigured or join the clergy.

kaylaandthestarcatcher · May 2013

kaylaandthestarcatcher · May 2013

I think it's funny (not like haha-funny just like peculiar-funny) that almost everybody jumped to jealousy in relationships.

Like, um, people get jealous for a lot more reasons that have nothing to do with relationships. Success, careers, material possessions, life experiences... Like, why do so many people have to jump to the conclusion that girls only get jealous when men are involved?

Weird.

brower47 · May 2013

To build on this and take the chance of seeming misogynistic:

Women tend to be more jealous among the sexes because men can drop seed and flee. A woman has the far more taxing task of bearing and caring for the offspring. A female and her offspring would be more successful if she could keep the male close and encouraged him to remain with her. Fending off other females (evolutionary jealousy) and providing that particular male with easy access to sex (not just for procreation) helped to ensure this.

This is of course just theory but I find the ideas behind it fascinating.

SakuraRose13 · May 2013

Never been jealous wouldnt know .Jealousy is a useless emotion as far as Im concerned.

hauntao · May 2013

Hmmmmmm maybe because women are fed through media that we're never good enough and we should be more like whatever will sell more product. Our capitalist society would crumble if we were happy with what we have.

BinaryPulsar · May 2013

Because other people were mentioning it, is the only reason I responded to it.

ninerbuff · May 2013

Don't disagree here. Lol, it's the nagging that drives us nuts.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

BinaryPulsar · May 2013

I studied evolutionary biology also and it's not misogynistic to discuss those concepts. But, I always remember learning that actually females would group together to help each other with the babies. It was men that had jealousy because they needed to keep other men away from their women because another man could impregnate her and he would never know and would raise another man's baby as his own child. Wasting his resources on some other man's propagation of his genes.

TheatreLover23 · May 2013

Jealous of what?

professorRAT · May 2013

Yep. This^

GermanicKnight · May 2013

Exactly the same. Amen!

amandapye78 · May 2013

I dont know, I am not a jealous person. I have seen a ton of jealous men though. I am a huge flirt and every guy I dated was very jealous ( they didn't last long) until I met my husband who isn't jealous.

Kestrel45 · May 2013

LMFAO
awesome.

brower47 · May 2013

I love all theories. I've heard this one too. Evolutionary biology and evolutionary anthropology... food for my mindgasms.

rml_16 · May 2013

I've never been a jealous person. I've been envious, like I see something someone has or a woman who looks really good and wish I had that thing or looked like that, but I never wish that person didn't have it, I just wish I did, too, if that makes sense.

As far as being jealous in relationships, I've just never felt like I needed a particular man that badly. I know if one leaves (or I leave him) there will be another someday. Or maybe not. But I'm OK with being single. I'm happy with myself, who I am and what I am. I have friends, interests, dreams and a life outside of my romantic relationships. So they are an enhancement to my life, not a necessity. Being able to live without them makes me less inclined to drive myself crazy over the idea they might leave.

When I was 24, I went through a terrible breakup that took me two years to fully get over. It was hell. But I got through it and it taught me I can survive anything.

nickyfm · May 2013

This is why I have very limited female friends.

I can't handle all of the *****iness and jealousy. Who cares what other girls look like? Jealousy is pointless, and will often drive people away from you.

Women should just be happy with who they are. Or change themselves into the person they wanna be! Someone will love you for it, so who cares!

Minerva624 · May 2013

I don't get jealous of other girls. I just accept who I am because that's something I can't change. Sometimes I wish I were prettier and more likeable such as other girls I've seen but I never get jealous. It's pointless.

PaleoChocolateBear · May 2013

I love this thread

Michelle2W · May 2013

Mean women, are mean girls, who have gotten older!

SeaRunner26 · May 2013

Estrogen. Nuff said.

BananaFaceFace · May 2013

I'll be honest, I get jealous and its because of insecurity within myself and not feeling good enough. I saw that Robin Thicke music video and wanted to drown myself in a big tub of ice cream after seeing those models prancing around

. I realise I shouldn't compare myself to others and i'm working on that and doing a lot better but i know my insecurity won't go away overnight. I would never ever be mean to someone I was jealous of though.

I've been on the other side and know how damaging jealousy can be because I have a "frenemy" who competes with me on every level and i'm pretty sure its because she is jealous, (not tryna toot my own horn here) we fight so much because of this and then we both end up feeling like ****, its exhausting and so frustrating.

Jealousy sucks on both ends.

Michelle2W · May 2013

Here's a great example. This morning in spin class, a lady that hardly attends, made a big public deal about me spinning through the three minute cool down. Our instructor doesn't mind, she even tells us spinning is an individual workout, in a group setting. As I said before, "Mean women are mean girls, who have gotten older"!

Michelle2W · May 2013

Am I the only one who thinks calibriintx (who is responding to this thread) profile picture looks like something naughty? I'm sorry, but it's suppose to be two arms of two couches, but I see something else -_-

thelovelyLIZ · May 2013

Heck if I know. I've felt pretty secure in every relationship I've ever been in. If I didn't, it's because he was skeezy and I had reasons to not trust him.

But I mean, my boyfriend and I are pretty chill. He has female friends. Heck, I might even be staying with a male friend of mine for a couple months here soon and my boyfriend's like "whatevs."

Why do girls get jealous?

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