I need your opinion on how to respond to a text...

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  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Somewhere right now, there is a 13 year old girl and 6 of her friends who are looking at a text from a boy and not spending this much time overanalyzing it

    This.
  • kaylahelle
    kaylahelle Posts: 14 Member
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    Yeah....if this girl is married....sounds like the only guy she should be going out with is her husband
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,302 Member
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    I will go against the grain and say it is possible for a guy to have a female friend, even if there is underlying sexual attraction, that he may or may never act upon. That is biology and you cant pick your friends based on a body function.

    Women tend to be better listeners and more nurturing emotionally, and we all need that from time to time.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,695 Member
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    I would have texted back:

    "Someone stole my golf clubs this weekend and I really wanted to play.":laugh:

    Petty stuff IMO. People lie everyday. If they don't want to hang out with you, then accept it. No big deal.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Wag1one
    Wag1one Posts: 46
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    So I have a friend that I always get into fights and arguments with. She always turns it around and makes me out to be the bad guy/ a-hole. I think we fight so much because there's some sexual tension between us. She's married and of course doesn't want to cheat on her husband. And I have no wish to have or be apart of an extra-marital affair. I have never made a move on her, etc.

    Anyway, we will occasionally hang out or go out to dinner together for our cheat meal. Lately we haven't been hanging out a lot, even though I've made time for her and tried to get her to get out of the house to have some fun.
    So last weekend I had the weekend off and she had Sunday off. I texted her on Saturday seeing if she wanted to hang out, go shooting, or do something else fun. She said she would be too busy doing things around the house and running errands. Ok, no biggie, we're all busy with day to day chores.

    But then Sunday night rolls around and I see on her instagram that she had gone to a golf tournament with this guy and a group of his friends. I'm pretty pissed at this. Then I see on Monday that after the golf tournament they had gone somewhere else together. I don't care that she's hanging out with another friend, I mean we all have multiple friends, what pisses me off is that told me she had chores to do so she can't hang out, and then goes and hangs out and doesn't even include me. Along with that she never texts me first, comes up to me at the gym (it's apparently my job to initiate conversation), etc.

    Alllll right so she's too busy doing chores but has time to do all that?? So I said screw it. I'm going to ignore her all week - we see each other at the gym everyday and I always stop by to chit chat.
    So today I'm doing abs and she comes over my way and I look away/start doing another set. When she's finished stretching I'm in the middle of a set of crunches, she gives me a little wave and I just kind of nod my head to acknowledge her wave.

    Now she just texted me saying, "I would have spoken to you today but my gosh you looked upset so I left you alone. What's wrong?"

    What should I respond with? I'm still really upset with her... I can ignore her, text her something curt like "Nothing.", something nonchalant, or explain why I looked mad (because of her) - but the caveat with this response is that I don't really want to explain it, we've been through this type of thing before and I always end up being the **** or she finds no fault of her own - in which case I look like a **** for starting yet another fight.

    Any other options?? Opinions?? Help??

    You are jealous ;-)
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
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    Sounds like you've caught feelings and you're jealous. I don't get that upset when my girlfriends do stuff with other chicks. If you couldn't see being this upset at a guy friend, you need to reevaluate what this "friendship" actually is. And it's not something to mess around with if she's married. Especially if she'd like to stay that way.

    Short Version: just break up.
  • rwhawkes
    rwhawkes Posts: 117 Member
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    I will go against the grain and say it is possible for a guy to have a female friend, even if there is underlying sexual attraction, that he may or may never act upon. That is biology and you cant pick your friends based on a body function.

    Women tend to be better listeners and more nurturing emotionally, and we all need that from time to time.

    That was my point!
  • El_Cunado
    El_Cunado Posts: 359 Member
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    Dude, you sound like a whiny lil b*tch. Man up and stop catching feelings.

    I thought the same thing but I didn't want to express it *quite* like that.

    Me too!
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
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    I will go against the grain and say it is possible for a guy to have a female friend, even if there is underlying sexual attraction, that he may or may never act upon. That is biology and you cant pick your friends based on a body function.

    Agree. I wouldn't have many friends (male or female) if I avoided everyone who gave off sexy vibes once in a while. Stop with the judgement. I would be annoyed with any friend (male or female) if they did that.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    I would have texted back:

    "Someone stole my golf clubs this weekend and I really wanted to play.":laugh:

    Petty stuff IMO. People lie everyday. If they don't want to hang out with you, then accept it. No big deal.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    The whole thing could have been avoided if she'd just said "Hey, I already have plans this weekend. Another time?"
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    this was a day ago it would be pretty damn funny if he was still waiting to reply lol
  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
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    She lied.

    U r always texting first and saying hello first. Hmmm

    She goes out to eat with u and hangs out.

    I'm confused. So many conflicting facets to this story....
    No wonder u r confused!

    I would text back "I was upset. It seems like u lied to me."
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    She lied.

    U r always texting first and saying hello first. Hmmm

    She goes out to eat with u and hangs out.

    I'm confused. So many conflicting facets to this story....
    No wonder u r confused!



    Ya pretty much.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I will go against the grain and say it is possible for a guy to have a female friend, even if there is underlying sexual attraction, that he may or may never act upon. That is biology and you cant pick your friends based on a body function.

    Agree. I wouldn't have many friends (male or female) if I avoided everyone who gave off sexy vibes once in a while. Stop with the judgement. I would be annoyed with any friend (male or female) if they did that.

    Okay... but he is not just feeling sexual attraction here. He is far more upset about this than he should be. He needs to distance himself a little bit. I'm not saying he can't keep the friendship, but I think he has gotten a bit too close.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Seriously? Three days of butt hurt over a text from a woman the OP claims he doesn't want to sleep with?
  • leiann2003
    leiann2003 Posts: 16 Member
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    Your relationship/friendship with her seems weird. She's married.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    Maybe she likes you more than she wants to and doesn't want to have an affair.
    Maybe her husband noticed she was spending too much time with you, so she's backing off? I dont know... ask her.
    Do her a favor and let her go.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
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    @ OP. NOTHING good will come of this situation. Find someone who can and wants to be with you.
  • DSTMT
    DSTMT Posts: 417 Member
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    So the woman you want to cheat on her husband with you is cheating on you with her guy friends? Stop. Just stop.

    He said he doesn't want to be part of an affair. Married men and women can have friends of the opposite sex. I have a few. I think he is more hurt on a blown off friend level if anythibg.

    I agree with this, I think people are focusing too much on the fact that it's two people of the opposite sex and assuming there's more to the story than there is. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm going to assume that the OP's assertion he's not interested in a romantic relationship is true.

    OP I feel your pain, I have a friend who does stuff like that a lot, she'll make plans with me and then cancel or will say she's too busy to do stuff, and then I'll find out after the fact that she really just found something more fun to do and lied about it. It's hurtful, and I've had a million text arguments with her about it, but she never gets it. Now I tend to get passive-aggressive with her when I'm frustrated, so if it were me in your situation, I'd probably go with the "I'm doing chores, I mean golf, I mean chores" suggestion someone gave earlier.

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