Would you be brutally honest to a friend??

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  • cheerforsteelers
    cheerforsteelers Posts: 686 Member
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    I usually go shopping with one of my good friends and she's a plus size girl. She carries her weight mainly in the middle section while I carry mine all over and have a bigger chest than her. She can pull off some great outfits and I tell her how great she looks if I think the outfit is flattering. She will ask me my opinion and I'm always honest with that. She knows her middle section is not always flattering in certain outfits. I would never say anything like: hey, you look fat in that. BUT I will say something like: I don't think that outfit flatters your body. I prefer to have my friends be honest with me mainly when I ask them. I don't ask questions like: does this make me look fat when I know something does.
  • klynn81
    klynn81 Posts: 178 Member
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    If a friend asks my opinion on something they all know that I'm gonna be honest with them even if it's not what they are going to want to hear. They love that about me. That's just the way I am, and I'd prefer that more people were like this.

    So say for example...If a friend were wearing something that didn't look great on them I wouldn't say "hey you look fat in that", but I would say "it's not very flattering, I think something else would look nicer".

    But....if you don't ask, I won't tell.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,041 Member
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    I would be brutally honest because I expect people to be honest with me.
  • LilMissSunshine_
    LilMissSunshine_ Posts: 520
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    I would tell them what I think. I would just find a nice way to put it.
  • MadiRose2
    MadiRose2 Posts: 145
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    "People who are brutally honest take more satisfaction out of the brutality then the honesty." Don't be brutally honest. Say it nicely. Don't hurt your friend by telling the "brutal" truth. Not cool.
  • skinnyfithealthyme
    skinnyfithealthyme Posts: 213
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    I would tell her "It's okay but I think something like *blank* would flatter you more" or "it's not you it's the clothes"
  • kympow
    kympow Posts: 145 Member
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    If she asked, I would tell her it didnt look good....only if she asked my opinion.... She would know not to ask if she didnt want the answer ;)
  • Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt
    Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt Posts: 226 Member
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    I tend to be honest but not brutal. Like if a piece of clothing looks awful/makes her look fat, I don't say "Wow, those skinny jeans are giving you an epic muffin-top!" but would say "I don't think that particular style looks good with your figure. You'd look better in (insert different color/shape/style/etc)." It softens the blow (and is a lot more helpful) to be able to suggest something that might look nicer, rather than just point out how not nice they look at the moment.
  • aljeca
    aljeca Posts: 83
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    When my friend directly asks me what I think, and she's contemplating a purchase, I tell her the truth.

    If we're already out and she's in a bad outfit that there's no possible way to change out of and asks - maybe not so much.

    I would never offer an opinion without being asked, unless there was an impending wardrobe malfunction that I could foresee then I would say something to help out!
  • admorris98
    admorris98 Posts: 3
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    My friends come to me when they want a brutally honest opinion. I have always said if you don't want the honest to God truth, I am not the person to ask.
  • DPernet
    DPernet Posts: 481 Member
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    for guys this works all the time..,.i dont htink it works as well for women.

    Yup, friend at work walked in and all 3 of us guys immediately asked if his wife was ill. He was wearing the worst shirt ever. He admitted it was the last one in the wardrobe. His wife is away for a girls week and he has run out of decent clobber.

    We then proceeded to rip him a new one for not being able to wash and iron his own clothes :laugh:
  • minnesota_deere
    minnesota_deere Posts: 232 Member
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    ask her if she/he likes it and why. than agree.
  • stephvaile
    stephvaile Posts: 298
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    i never say anything unless my friends ask for my opinion and they only ask me if they are prepared for complete honesty as i generally don,t hold back :laugh: :laugh:
  • AwesomePossum82
    AwesomePossum82 Posts: 93
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    I would be honest but I would put it kindly.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
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    yes, i would. what else are friends for? honesty is the best policy!
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
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    If I don't think its suits, I will be slow to respond, give a non-committed response and give a negative facial expression. I will never say anything overtly negative. Seems to work for me and my friends.
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
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    I'd like to say yes, mostly because I hope my friends are being honest with me, but really on some level I don't think I'm qualified to judge. I wear mostly jeans and t-shirts and am 100+ lbs overweight, so who am I to say?
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    Definitely is different with men! haha...

    I was recently invited to my bf's family's house to go swimming. I was contemplating on what bathing suit I should wear - as I have a one piece (that I hate) and a 2 pc. One of my friends stated, "not trying to be mean so please don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't wear your 2 pc in front of his family."

    I wasn't sure if I should be appreciative of her suggestion - or if I should be offended.

    My friend is currently larger than me (I love her regardless) but we have very different views on bodies. She would never wear a 2 pc, unless she was stick thin with no fat.

    Sounds like maybe she wasn't being disparaging about your body so much as talking about showing too much skin in front of his family?

    I don't even like my daughter wearing a 2-piece in front of male family members. I'm sure she was saying it in a way to be respectful/respectable in front of his family.

    ETA: I won't come out and tell someone they look fat in something unless they ask, but I always tell my bff when she's wearing something that makes her butt look good. :smile:
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    I don't give my opinion unless asked and usually my facial expression gives me away first lol
    If I don't like it ...whatever IT may be...I scrunch up my nose a lil bit, tighten my lips and you get an "ummmm....well...." usually I don't have to say anything more at that point....hahahah Just offer a suggestion for something else ;)
  • ChristineDiet
    ChristineDiet Posts: 719 Member
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    Certainly not unsolicited! Ye gods... if one of my friends told me "by the way, you look really fat in that" I don't think I'd ever talk to them again.

    Now, if they ask it's another story. Especially when trying on something to buy. Then the opposite rule applies. If I try on something that looks god awful on me and my friends tell me it looks great and then I see a picture and they were lying... off with their heads! Totally don't want to buy something I look like crap in because no one wanted to hurt my feelings.

    ^^ this. x

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