Wedding Costs- Cash Bar or Open Bar?
Replies
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Personally, I find cash bar to be tacky, but it depends on what traditionally happens with weddings in your family and where you live.
OP said that they don't have a lot of money, if they can't afford it there is nothing "tacky" about that. Not everyone has the means to provide open bar at their weddings.
Have a cash bar, if anyone at your wedding finds it "tacky" they are probably stuck up so fck 'em.0 -
I've been to 10 weddings in the past 2 years. I can tell you a couple of things:
Weddings without booze need to give people a heads up
Weddings with booze that you pay for will be talked about in a bad way
Weddings with booze that is free will be remembered well even if the guests are drunk enough to forget.
Yup.
Open bar all the way. If you can't afford it then why not have a party at your house after wards and buy all the booze for it? Usually package stores will let you return anything that you didn't use.0 -
hmmmm beer and wine. AT my wedding we were able to bring in our own. It was cheaper than the place supplying it.0
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I suggest hosting an event that you can afford. And what I mean by that is choose a venue/caterer/dress/whatever that all fits into your budget, without asking your guests to split the bill with you. Yeah yeah I know alcohol is "optional" and guests don't HAVE TO order any, but so is pretty much everything else offered at a wedding reception and you never see hosts asking their guests to pay for anything else, so why would you ask them to pay for their beer? Would you invite someone to your home, offer her a beer, then ask her for $5 in exchange? Probably not.
A wedding reception is typically not a pot luck or a carnival. It's the first event you and your future husband will host as a married couple. If you can afford wine and beer, have wine and beer. If you can afford top shelf and want to offer that, than do it. But having booze and then saying "well we really can't afford the booze so we'll just have cash bar" is basically passing the bill onto your invited guests. If you want to have beer/wine/whatever because you think your guests will enjoy it than find a venue/caterer/etc that will allow you to do that within your budget. It's all in the planning.
I have never been to a cash bar reception in the state of Massachusetts. I have been to a few in NH. The most bizarre is when I've had to pay for my drinks during the "cocktail hour". Really, you're calling it a "cocktail hour" but there are no cocktails, unless I buy my own? Why not just call it "the hour" then? ;/0 -
Hi there
I've just got engaged and like you paying for everything ourselves, we are planning to provide so much beer and wine ourselves and when it's gone it's gone.
Congrats by the way, family and friends won't mind if you are on a tight budget at the end of the day the fact you are getting married is the most important bit. You could also leave the beer buying bit to last and then whatever is left in your budget is was is left for the beer budget, hey as long as you two have enough beer for the big day. selfish I know, lol.0 -
Also guests shouldn't be going just for the fact they can get free beer, here in England most weddings have a bar where guests pay for their beer themselves but the champagne toast is free.0
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Congrads!
Personally, I know my family and friends so I'll have no choice but to do a no kids/ open bar reception.
I know some places do discounts if you only serve "signature drinks" if you want to do mixed drinks at all.0 -
i just got married on may 12th and we paid for our entire wedding ourselves... we did a cash bar because my husband doesn't drink and i rarely drink anymore but we wanted people to still have alcohol if they wanted it. Our venue allowed beer and wine only so that made it even easier. Our bartending service had us put down a deposit and set a goal of like $300 to sell in order for us to break even. The charged $4 for a large glass of wine and $3 for a can of domestic beer. We hit our goal and nobody at the wedding was trashed which is exactly what we wanted (we skipped the champagne toast and not one person missed it!) in order to save money you have to decide on which key elements of the wedding are the most important to you...we decided music, food and photography would be the places we would spend the most money. Our budget was $5000 for 125 people and we had a gorgeous wedding with dinner and dancing at the reception, people said it was the prettiest venue they'd been to and we got it for a steal!! def research vendors and don't be afraid to bargain shop!! (ps remember for invites, programs etc most of those will end up in the trash so i suggest spending less in that area- you can go on to some wedding sites like weddingchicks.com and download free templates to print invites, table numbers and all kinds of other cool things!) Happy Planning :bigsmile:0
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I have yet to go to a wedding here in Canada where it isn't open bar. That was new to me. With that said, the husband and I had our wedding in the states on July 1st, and I hadn't ever been to a wedding back home where there was an open bar so I guess it wasn't really expected. We decided our guests could get at no charge champaign/coffee/soda and plenty of free keg beer. If they wanted anything else they had to pay for it. No complaints, everyone had a great time, we didn't break the bank, and the night ended with a few of our canadian guys wearing togas while we all sang "oh canada". lol. oh memories.
There's always places you can cut costs, just decide what is more important to you.0 -
paying for your own in early 20's? hell, your guests are lucky you didn't send them a postcard with a pic from the JOP asking for "we just got married" presents.
Do what make the most financial sense.
amen! and having a cash bar is NOT bad or tacky, people these days are well aware that not everyone can afford the average $25,000 on a wedding...who the hell wants to start a marriage out with a mountain of debt for ONE DAY! just sayin....0 -
I am in Michigan and have never seen a cash bar wedding either. However, I used to bartend at a banquet hall and was surprised how often people asked if it was an open bar when they came up for drinks.I have never been to a cash bar reception in the state of Massachusetts. I have been to a few in NH. The most bizarre is when I've had to pay for my drinks during the "cocktail hour". Really, you're calling it a "cocktail hour" but there are no cocktails, unless I buy my own? Why not just call it "the hour" then? ;/
It definitely depends on the region the OP is in, and what the traditions there are in the area and within her family. Where I'm from, people remember the food, the music and the booze you served for a LONG time. I'll be married 3 years next month and some friends still talk about the amazing food (and 'giant shrimp') that was served at our wedding! We also pretty much got a $100 per couple minimum (some much more) gift from our guests...which is also pretty standard here.0 -
I suggest hosting an event that you can afford. And what I mean by that is choose a venue/caterer/dress/whatever that all fits into your budget, without asking your guests to split the bill with you. Yeah yeah I know alcohol is "optional" and guests don't HAVE TO order any, but so is pretty much everything else offered at a wedding reception and you never see hosts asking their guests to pay for anything else, so why would you ask them to pay for their beer? Would you invite someone to your home, offer her a beer, then ask her for $5 in exchange? Probably not.
A wedding reception is typically not a pot luck or a carnival. It's the first event you and your future husband will host as a married couple. If you can afford wine and beer, have wine and beer. If you can afford top shelf and want to offer that, than do it. But having booze and then saying "well we really can't afford the booze so we'll just have cash bar" is basically passing the bill onto your invited guests. If you want to have beer/wine/whatever because you think your guests will enjoy it than find a venue/caterer/etc that will allow you to do that within your budget. It's all in the planning.
I have never been to a cash bar reception in the state of Massachusetts. I have been to a few in NH. The most bizarre is when I've had to pay for my drinks during the "cocktail hour". Really, you're calling it a "cocktail hour" but there are no cocktails, unless I buy my own? Why not just call it "the hour" then? ;/
Wow.
Being invited to share someone's wedding days is a privilege, and guests should see it as that. If that means having to buy a few drinks, so what! I think it ruder to expect someone to pay for you to get drunk (after they've already fed you and entertained you) than it is to have a cash bar.0 -
Personally, I insisted on a dry wedding.
I have seen what free booze does to otherwise smart people and the last thing I wanted to do was turn into a bouncer at my own wedding.
If your friends can't handle a wedding without getting drunk, I suggerst getting new friends.0 -
Cut costs by cutting *things* and planning. Don't cut costs by charging your guests. That isn't cutting costs. It's redistributing costs.0
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There's always the open bar cocktail hour and then paying once they get into the main room for dinner.0
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WOW!! i am overwhelemed by all of the responses... thank you all soooo soooo much!! it seems the most popular answer was unlimited beer and wine. that'll probably be cheaper... we are meeting with a venue tomorrow that is $75/head and i think that includes alcohol, which would bring the food and booze to about $7500...but then theres everything else on top of that so we will see if we can shrink that a bit haha
again thank you thank you!!
and congrats to all the lovely ladies that just got married and/or just got engaged!!
:flowerforyou: i appreciate all the replies!!0 -
It's funny how different countries gave different ways of doing things. Here in the UK it is rare to go to a wedding where the drinks are all free, at most weddings you get one post ceremony drink, wine with the meal (usually half a bottle per person) and a glass of bubbly for the toasts. But then it is always a normal bar where you have to pay for your own drinks.
Weddings cost enough without paying for all your guests drinks!!
We like to drink in the US!0 -
Bump to read later. I am also look for thirfty ideas... tight on money and getting married in ONE YEAR!! 0
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I suggest hosting an event that you can afford. And what I mean by that is choose a venue/caterer/dress/whatever that all fits into your budget, without asking your guests to split the bill with you. Yeah yeah I know alcohol is "optional" and guests don't HAVE TO order any, but so is pretty much everything else offered at a wedding reception and you never see hosts asking their guests to pay for anything else, so why would you ask them to pay for their beer? Would you invite someone to your home, offer her a beer, then ask her for $5 in exchange? Probably not.
A wedding reception is typically not a pot luck or a carnival. It's the first event you and your future husband will host as a married couple. If you can afford wine and beer, have wine and beer. If you can afford top shelf and want to offer that, than do it. But having booze and then saying "well we really can't afford the booze so we'll just have cash bar" is basically passing the bill onto your invited guests. If you want to have beer/wine/whatever because you think your guests will enjoy it than find a venue/caterer/etc that will allow you to do that within your budget. It's all in the planning.
I have never been to a cash bar reception in the state of Massachusetts. I have been to a few in NH. The most bizarre is when I've had to pay for my drinks during the "cocktail hour". Really, you're calling it a "cocktail hour" but there are no cocktails, unless I buy my own? Why not just call it "the hour" then? ;/
Wow.
Being invited to share someone's wedding days is a privilege, and guests should see it as that. If that means having to buy a few drinks, so what! I think it ruder to expect someone to pay for you to get drunk (after they've already fed you and entertained you) than it is to have a cash bar.
Where thehell in my post did I ever say I expected anybody to get me drunk?0 -
Oh...if you don't have an issue with it...definitely consider doing your wedding on a Friday instead of Saturday night. A lot of places will throw tons of extras your way for doing this, since Friday's tend to go unbooked in the prime season!0
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Open bar = better wedding gift from your guests
Cash bar = gift certificate from your guests
^THIS^
Besides it'll make for a better video0 -
I haven't read all the replies, but I was brought up in that if you throw a party, you throw a party.
I believe cash bars at weddings are tacky. That's what buck & does are for.
I don't have any desire to throw $300 in your card and then pay for my drinks all night.
Best of luck and enjoy your day! 0 -
My fiance and I are getting married next April. We are like you (I'm 27, he's 28) and we are paying for the wedding ourselves with a very very small budget ($2000 total for approx 40 guests). We are coming up with clever ways to maximize savings and are "convincing" people to contribute a little.
Originally with the booze situation, I was planning on paying for all the beer, champagne toast, and one signature drink (because I don't like beer, and I want to have a drink on my wedding). We eventually convinced his father to pay for the alcohol. His family are big drinkers... and I said "we can't afford it, so if you want alcohol at the reception then you gotta help pay for it" and he agreed. LOL.0 -
I suggest hosting an event that you can afford. And what I mean by that is choose a venue/caterer/dress/whatever that all fits into your budget, without asking your guests to split the bill with you. Yeah yeah I know alcohol is "optional" and guests don't HAVE TO order any, but so is pretty much everything else offered at a wedding reception and you never see hosts asking their guests to pay for anything else, so why would you ask them to pay for their beer? Would you invite someone to your home, offer her a beer, then ask her for $5 in exchange? Probably not.
A wedding reception is typically not a pot luck or a carnival. It's the first event you and your future husband will host as a married couple. If you can afford wine and beer, have wine and beer. If you can afford top shelf and want to offer that, than do it. But having booze and then saying "well we really can't afford the booze so we'll just have cash bar" is basically passing the bill onto your invited guests. If you want to have beer/wine/whatever because you think your guests will enjoy it than find a venue/caterer/etc that will allow you to do that within your budget. It's all in the planning.
I have never been to a cash bar reception in the state of Massachusetts. I have been to a few in NH. The most bizarre is when I've had to pay for my drinks during the "cocktail hour". Really, you're calling it a "cocktail hour" but there are no cocktails, unless I buy my own? Why not just call it "the hour" then? ;/
Wow.
Being invited to share someone's wedding days is a privilege, and guests should see it as that. If that means having to buy a few drinks, so what! I think it ruder to expect someone to pay for you to get drunk (after they've already fed you and entertained you) than it is to have a cash bar.
^^this i have a feeling tinytoyjess's mom and dad paid for their wedding
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Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials.
At my wedding, we did not serve any alcohol at all. We offered teas, coffee, sodas, juices, sparkling juices, etc. I knew some of the people who were invited would tend to drink far too much. I didn't want the stress or liability of making certain everyone had a taxi or room when they were sloshed. Too many of them are the ones who like to argue about being able to drive when they clearly aren't sober.
I thought people would be negative about no alcohol, but everyone seemed to have a great time and no one complained.0 -
I get really annoyed when I go to a wedding and it's not an open bar. I don't care if it's not top shelf, just be open. I spend big bucks on your gift (as did everyone else) and cleared aside my little personal time to come to your day (as did everyone else). The least you can do is give me some free booze.0
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The wedding I just photographed did the following.
After the reception (during photo time with the bridal party), the guests were invited to partake in a cocktail hour. Wine, beer, & soda were served free of charge. During the dinner they had ordered 80 bottles of wine which covered 4 bottles per table (2 red, 2 white) and a few leftover bottles. Once dinner was finished, all the bottles were collected from the tables and put at the bar with whatever bottles were unopened/unused. It was a cash bar for beer and liquor, but you could get a glass (or 20) of the "table wine" until it was gone. They had cucumber water on hand throughout the whole night for everyone to drink and you could also have soda for free if you were not drinking alcohol. There were a few who got thoroughly trashed that night, but overall it was perfect. Everyone had enough to party but not so much that there were any embarrassing moments or evenings ruined.0 -
You are from Winnipeg... Have a Social! (During my Wedding social we netted about $6K between a Choice Auction, Perfume Raffle and 50-50) Use the proceeds of the Social to help pay for a small intimate wedding.
For those of you wondering what a Social is...I've been told its fairly unique to Manitoba (but c'mon it has to exist elsewhere...right?) A Social is like a big party which people pay to attend. Cheap Drinks, loud music, dance floor, DJ etc... and is usually held in a Community Center. Typically you have a snack buffet at the end of the night with sandwiches, pickles, cheese and crackers. You also have raffles and such... it's strictly a fundraiser. Proceeds are usually to the Bride and Groom but are also sometimes done for a Charity (i.e. I've seen them done for Team Diabetes, Big Brothers and Sisters etc)
There are many inexpensive halls available that could host... Its also part of the fun of getting married.
Oh and Congrats!0 -
When I was planning our wedding, the advice given to me was to offer two signature cocktails and that's it. That is much less expensive than offering a variety, and your guests do not have to pay for anything.0
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Personally, I insisted on a dry wedding.
I have seen what free booze does to otherwise smart people and the last thing I wanted to do was turn into a bouncer at my own wedding.
If your friends can't handle a wedding without getting drunk, I suggerst getting new friends.
Same here. My family gets obnoxious when they drink.. and I have a family member that WILL drink way too much and embarrass me.
We had a early afternoon wedding, a beautiful reception with wonderful food and good music.. then we called it a night. It was held out of town, and no one was really staying the night.. so we didn't want to worry about people getting home safely.
We were paying for it ourselves, and really had only invited family, close friends and our coworkers (we worked together at the time) So, it wasn't a big "party scene" for us. We're not partiers, anyway.
I'm perfectly okay with the way it turned out.
I've been to weddings with both open and cash bars.. I'll have a glass of wine if its free, I'll have something else if its not.. it doesn't offend me either way.0
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