Wedding Costs- Cash Bar or Open Bar?
Replies
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You are from Winnipeg... Have a Social!
What I meant by buck & doe. I guess it's titled differently across provinces.0 -
I suggest hosting an event that you can afford. And what I mean by that is choose a venue/caterer/dress/whatever that all fits into your budget, without asking your guests to split the bill with you. Yeah yeah I know alcohol is "optional" and guests don't HAVE TO order any, but so is pretty much everything else offered at a wedding reception and you never see hosts asking their guests to pay for anything else, so why would you ask them to pay for their beer? Would you invite someone to your home, offer her a beer, then ask her for $5 in exchange? Probably not.
A wedding reception is typically not a pot luck or a carnival. It's the first event you and your future husband will host as a married couple. If you can afford wine and beer, have wine and beer. If you can afford top shelf and want to offer that, than do it. But having booze and then saying "well we really can't afford the booze so we'll just have cash bar" is basically passing the bill onto your invited guests. If you want to have beer/wine/whatever because you think your guests will enjoy it than find a venue/caterer/etc that will allow you to do that within your budget. It's all in the planning.
I have never been to a cash bar reception in the state of Massachusetts. I have been to a few in NH. The most bizarre is when I've had to pay for my drinks during the "cocktail hour". Really, you're calling it a "cocktail hour" but there are no cocktails, unless I buy my own? Why not just call it "the hour" then? ;/
Wow.
Being invited to share someone's wedding days is a privilege, and guests should see it as that. If that means having to buy a few drinks, so what! I think it ruder to expect someone to pay for you to get drunk (after they've already fed you and entertained you) than it is to have a cash bar.
Where thehell in my post did I ever say I expected anybody to get me drunk?
You didn't, but in your post you sounded offended by the idea of paying for your own drinks. Ok you might not get drunk, but you still expect someone else to pay for your drinks.0 -
Congratulations!
Not a fan of the cash bar. Open bar not a necessity though for some groups. If you want to keep it simple, you could have a midday wedding with reception featuring beer, wine, champagne, cake and light sandwiches. No one will be anticipating a heavy feast or heavy drinking at that time and you are off to start your wedded life/honeymoon earlier instead of exhausted. Or a early evening ceremony followed by a cocktail reception, appetizers only and limited full bar hour or two or choice of limited featured cocktail /beer/wine.
My personal budget choice would be to find a friend or family member with property to host a ceremony & reception in one. You could hire a caterer, servers and a bartender to make it festive and make sure your guests are cared for, for lower facility costs. I would offer the property owner compensation-hiring a professional cleaning service before & after, $ for sprucing up the garden or entrance for example.
I have often found a lack of access to non alcoholic beverages at events. Making sure there are pitchers of iced tea, lemonade, water and punch available keep people hydrated and less intoxicated. Thinking ahead to have teetotaler volunteers to drive intoxicated people home is a good idea.0 -
I think it would be cool to select 10 popular mixed drinks to serve along with beer and wine.
Maybe even name them, create your own of have a little story that goes along with it.
Like moments in your life together: For example, if you took a trip to Ireland with him:
Have a little caption under the drink at the bar: Maybe even easels with the stories and a picture of that moment.
"This reminds me of the beautiful holiday we spent in Ireland together last year. After a long day we found ourselves in this little pub down a cobblestone street eating the best ____ and drinking these amazing ____. I remember looking a crossed the table and knowing this is the person I wanted to pend my life with. This drink brings us back to that special moment in our lives and we would like to share it with you".
I don't know if its corny or not but I think it would be super thoughtful and dramatic
People would think about the story every time they drank one. 0 -
We did a cash bar only- we didn't want to go broke paying for an open bar. Our wedding was still amazing, everyone had fun, and if they wanted to drink they had the option....they just had to buy it themselves. 0
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I don't see anything wrong with people having to pay for their drinks. They are there to share in your special day, not get wasted. And anyone who feels they are *owed* free booze for bringing a gift can get over themselves.
ETA: "I have often found a lack of access to non alcoholic beverages at events. Making sure there are pitchers of iced tea, lemonade, water and punch available keep people hydrated and less intoxicated." I agree with this!0 -
I get really annoyed when I go to a wedding and it's not an open bar. I don't care if it's not top shelf, just be open. I spend big bucks on your gift (as did everyone else) and cleared aside my little personal time to come to your day (as did everyone else). The least you can do is give me some free booze.
Thats cheap of you... You are going to a Wedding to celebrate the beginning of someone's life together. Its not about you. This is THEIR day, not yours. And really what you spend on a gift is kind of irrelevant if the Wedding bankrupts the couple.
So you set aside a little of your personal time? They thought enough of you to include you on the guest list. They want you there to celebrate their love. If you want to cheap out, or don't think enough of the couple getting married that its some kind of burden, Don't Go.
Your response is just so tacky. Not everyone has money to burn especially after putting together a Wedding.0 -
Cash bars are usually frowned upon. At our wedding, we had beer, red wine, and white wine. that was it. If they wanted anything else, tough *kitten* lol. People will drink what's there, but making them pay for anything isn't proper etiquette as you have invited them as a guest.
If someone is really mad because you don't have Cuervo at your reception you probably don't want them at your wedding in the first place.
Edit to add: You don't owe anyone alcohol--contrary to what someone above said... You should just pay for what you serve and if you can't afford it--whether it be not being able to afford liquor or not being able to afford any alcohol-- don't serve it. 0 -
I'll be in the same dillema when I get married. My side of the family doesn't drink (maybe one glass of one, two would be pushing it) and my friends wouldn't have more than one or two. However, his side of the family looooooves to drink and so do his friends. Thinking that 2 (maybe 3?) drink tickets then you buy your own works great!0
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Congrats! We were on a budget with our wedding as well. We did cash bar for our wedding but poured a glass of wine with dinner. We did pay for drinks for the bridal party while we were taking pictures so nobody had to fish for their wallets. Nobody complained (that I know of!) ;-)0
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its a wedding the fun people don't need drugs or alcohol, the ones that do can pay for there own. don't skimp on the music/DJ, you get what you pay for, make sure the DJ is not a meth head/drug addict. i speak from experience, very bad DJ at ours, should have kicked him out when before he started.0
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Got married 8 yrs ago. We paid for the meal which was $15.99 a plate and had a cash bar. If they wanted to drink they could pay for it. Those who likes to get drunk at your expense won't because they won't pay for their own drink. Made for a nicer wedding to be honest.0
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Congratulations on your wedding. I feel that people should want to share and celebrate your special day with you and not come just for a free bar! I feel that is it perfectly acceptable to maybe give a ticket for a first free drink, or two if you can afford it. Alternatively you could put a certain amount of money behind the bar and when it runs out then it becomes a cash bar. Or you could do a free first drink then do free soft drinks only, alcohol to be paid for. If you are inviting people who genuinely want to be there then absolutely no offence should be taken by offering any of these options; I'm sure that they will also be aware of your financial commitments and would not want the wedding to be a financial burden to you.
Have a truly wonderful day and a fabulous day together!
xxx0 -
I realize this was probably just an example, but just for the record...tequila is NEVER a good idea in any open bar situation! In over 10 years of bartending at a banquet hall, the venue I worked for allowed it in ONCE (for an employees own party) and I was the bartender. I ended up having to call the police to break up a fight and haul some people out of there! It truly does make people crazy!If someone is really mad because you don't have Cuervo at your reception you probably don't want them at your wedding in the first place.
That being said, most places that provide a bartender and hold a liquor license should have a vested interest (liability) to make sure people do not lose control.0 -
To the OP btw I also jealous of you! It's our 1st anniversary on Monday and I'd love to have our wedding again! It's a cliche but it really was the most amazing day. 0
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its a wedding the fun people don't need drugs or alcohol, the ones that do can pay for there own. don't skimp on the music/DJ, you get what you pay for, make sure the DJ is not a meth head/drug addict. i speak from experience, very bad DJ at ours, should have kicked him out when before he started.
Save costs - use an iPod pre-loaded with your favorite love songs. Just my opinion... but it beats having an awful DJ. You can have a friend pause the playlist for toasts and whatnot and just start it back up when ready.0 -
I realize this was probably just an example, but just for the record...tequila is NEVER a good idea in any open bar situation! In over 10 years of bartending at a banquet hall, the venue I worked for allowed it in ONCE (for an employees own party) and I was the bartender. I ended up having to call the police to break up a fight and haul some people out of there! It truly does make people crazy!If someone is really mad because you don't have Cuervo at your reception you probably don't want them at your wedding in the first place.
That being said, most places that provide a bartender and hold a liquor license should have a vested interest (liability) to make sure people do not lose control.
lol yeah it was an example... that's insane!0 -
Just recalling some details of our own Wedding... from ten years ago.
We did the Social and used the proceeds of that as a stake for the Wedding.
For the Wedding reception we provided Red, White and Blush wines from the Bottle & Cork and bottled our own. (Theres one in Madison Square by Polo Park and it was the cheapest solution available for wine). We also offered everyone 2 drink tickets. Our liquor selection included Rye, Rum, Vodka, and beer.
Hope it helps!0 -
I had this same experience when planning my own wedding. We were expecting around 60 people (small). Since we were having a smaller wedding, my husband and I decided that we didn't want to serve hard alcohol at the wedding. We preset bottles of wine on the tables and there was beer near the buffet table.
It really all comes down to how you want to remember your wedding and how you want to start your new life off together Depending on the number of guests you will have, an open bar can become very expensive - eating away at the budget when that money could have been used for something else like better food, a better cake, more flowers, extra activity on your honeymoon, etc. The guests that come only to get drunk aren't there to celebrate with you but to use you for the alcohol you are paying for. I had one of those at my wedding, he missed the ceremony and when he realized that it was wine and beer he left. I was okay with that because he wasn't there for me and my husband.
The overall cost for my wedding was under $5000 - including everything: live band, reception hall, flowers, dress, food, cake, 60 guests, suit/shoes, etc.
I would be happy to help with any further suggestions/recommendations!0 -
Elope. :drinker:
Agreed! Then you can throw a heck of a party!
That being said, when I got married it was in a "dry" county, so we gave everyone a heads up so they knew it was a "byob" affair after our alcohol ran out!
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I am English and married to a Canadian, and it was only when planning our Wedding that i learned of the big cultural differences in Weddings, we had a lovely Church Wedding, in a 700 year old church, with all the English traditions, hymns and readings etc, we had our photographs in the grounds of the local manor house and the Castle in the village in which we live, and then we went on to our 'Wedding Breakfast' the 'reception'
We provided welcome drinks for everyone, of champagne cocktails and then several bottles of good quality wine for the meal and soft drinks and two bottles of champagne per table for toasts and that was it, if people wanted other drinks later, then they paid, we provided a four course meal, it cost us £40 a head for the meal and then extra for all the other things, the gifts we gave everyone and we paid for all the wedding parties clothes etc etc, all in all our Wedding cost us in excess of £10,000 and we did a lot ourselves, and paid for the whole thing. I do not feel guilty about having a pay bar for the evening reception, which was a separate function, we also laid on food for the evening guests as well, at further cost, I think that if people think that anything about our Wedding was tacky then they are wrong, it was an AWESOME Wedding, and although it cost a lot of money, we had the best day ever...
My Daughter got married in the Winter, on a Friday, she had an all inclusive deal and did her whole Wedding with photography and dress and reception for less than £3000 and it was a FABULOUS Wedding and they are not in debt as a result.
Do what you can afford and don't worry what anyone else says, its ONE day, don't spend more than you can afford0 -
I am English and married to a Canadian, and it was only when planning our Wedding that i learned of the big cultural differences in Weddings, we had a lovely Church Wedding, in a 700 year old church, with all the English traditions, hymns and readings etc, we had our photographs in the grounds of the local manor house and the Castle in the village in which we live, and then we went on to our 'Wedding Breakfast' the 'reception'
We provided welcome drinks for everyone, of champagne cocktails and then several bottles of good quality wine for the meal and soft drinks and two bottles of champagne per table for toasts and that was it, if people wanted other drinks later, then they paid, we provided a four course meal, it cost us £40 a head for the meal and then extra for all the other things, the gifts we gave everyone and we paid for all the wedding parties clothes etc etc, all in all our Wedding cost us in excess of £10,000 and we did a lot ourselves, and paid for the whole thing. I do not feel guilty about having a pay bar for the evening reception, which was a separate function, we also laid on food for the evening guests as well, at further cost, I think that if people think that anything about our Wedding was tacky then they are wrong, it was an AWESOME Wedding, and although it cost a lot of money, we had the best day ever...
My Daughter got married in the Winter, on a Friday, she had an all inclusive deal and did her whole Wedding with photography and dress and reception for less than £3000 and it was a FABULOUS Wedding and they are not in debt as a result.
Do what you can afford and don't worry what anyone else says, its ONE day, don't spend more than you can afford
This.
We had an open bar limit...once we reached that dollar sign, people bought their own. We provided all other drinks for free. No one really had an issue or cared. I think it depends where you live.. I personally always bring cash to a wedding and do not expect anyone to give me free booze.. Do what you want and can afford and who cares what others think.0 -
We had a bunch of friends in 12-step programs coming (and neither of us drinks much anyway), so we skipped the booze altogether - but the reception area was attached to a local bar, so if anyone really couldn't go the three hours of talking/dancing without a drink, they just walked next door and came back. No one complained, since we threw a big part of the budget into a really nice dinner for everyone.0
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It's funny how different countries gave different ways of doing things. Here in the UK it is rare to go to a wedding where the drinks are all free, at most weddings you get one post ceremony drink, wine with the meal (usually half a bottle per person) and a glass of bubbly for the toasts. But then it is always a normal bar where you have to pay for your own drinks.
Weddings cost enough without paying for all your guests drinks!!
We like to drink in the US!
lol I live in Scotland and boy do we enjoy a drink at weddings! Hubby and I married last year and open bar is pretty much unheard of in the UK we offered our guests post ceremony drinks , and a drink of choice for the meal and another for the toasts after that it was cash bar, Scottish weddings are wild enough without offering free alcohol all night 0 -
Well we played around with this for a while.... We are on a tight budget too and was going to do the reception at my fiance's families "ranch" and we were going to do a ticket kind of thing where we bought the alcohol, people paid us so much for a ticket to drink and hopefully that would manage the drunkeness.
Well we had spoken with our wedding planner and she suggested us doing the reception at the bar she owns.... and this what we are going to do... It's a full cash bar (everyone buys their own drinks and they tip the bartender.) if at the end of the night the bartender receives less than the required 15% grat we pay the difference if the bartender receives more than woo hoo go you! I guess it really depends on where you have the reception. Let me know if this doesn't make sense or you need more details about it.
Also the way we cut costs: no dj, minimum flower arrangements, minimum attendents (we have 1 maid of honor, 1 best man and 2 ring bearers (my fiances sons), my mother in law is making our cake, and my mother in law made our save the dates, and RSVP/accommodation cards for our invitations), and my mother in law did a lot of DIY for the favors i.e. water bottle and candy lables etc.
if you have pinterests you can find a lot of ideas!!!! GOOD LUCK!0 -
I say open bar, because I think it would be tacky to invite them and then expect them to foot the bill. But seriously, opinions on this are pretty all over the place. What we ended up doing is buying all the liqour, beer, and wine ourselves. Our venue had a tiki bar set up, and our caterers had a bartender. So we supplied all the booze, but we bought what we wanted and got to keep the leftovers! It was great! We took it all back to our hotel for an after hours party! It was awesome! But we were lucky to have a venue that allowed that. Open bar on beer and wine is good too though, better than cash bar.0
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I get really annoyed when I go to a wedding and it's not an open bar. I don't care if it's not top shelf, just be open. I spend big bucks on your gift (as did everyone else) and cleared aside my little personal time to come to your day (as did everyone else). The least you can do is give me some free booze.
Bet you get even more fun with a few cocktails in you, huh?0 -
If I was paying for it... I would do a cash bar...
We had an open bar for our wedding 17 years ago...and that was the most expensive on our list You could do an hour open bar (before dinner) and then switch it to a cash bar... Our wedding was $32,000.. It was a huge wedding- the reception was the most expensive for us.
Congrats on your upcoming wedding 0 -
when I got married 10 years ago, I supplied the wine at dinner, but had a cash bar other than that.0
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It's funny how different countries gave different ways of doing things. Here in the UK it is rare to go to a wedding where the drinks are all free, at most weddings you get one post ceremony drink, wine with the meal (usually half a bottle per person) and a glass of bubbly for the toasts. But then it is always a normal bar where you have to pay for your own drinks.
Weddings cost enough without paying for all your guests drinks!!
We like to drink in the US!
I meant to reply to this before - but yeah so do us Brits!!:drinker:0
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