I think I need to be told I am fat

What size do you wear? Maybe you need to focus on a size and not how much it says on the scale. So if you wear a size 10, imagine how much better you would feel in a size 4 or a 2.

I think you look awesome! I want that top!

I'm 5'2" and you look way taller than me!

if i look that good at 190, i'll celebrate! ;o)

seriously, though, BMI is not the end-all, be-all. if you are muscular or large-framed, it's useless. don't use that to gauge your progress.

if you aren't happy with your weight, work on losing it slowly while maintaining muscle, or alternate between gaining muscle and losing fat until you're at a body fat % that makes you happy.

if your motivation is slipping, don't ask for people to tell you you're fat so you can please them; choose a goal and please yourself.

Don't be silly! You in no way look morbidly obese.

Different people carry weight in different places and you're lucky enough to have a beautiful, feminine figure!

you defo don't look obese!
you're just curvy

I'm going to cut to the chase here. You are not morbidly obese but you do look overweight. I'm going to catch crap for this (maybe) but at your height, 190 is not healthy.

You LOOK GREAT!!!

It makes me so made to hear that anyone would say "your fat". I am losing weight to be healthy, screw what others think.

If a person *is* fat, what exactly does it help for others to sugarcoat and pretend she's not fat. The way she holds her weight doesn't show the fat, and she's still an attractive well-proportioned person, but at 190lbs on a 5'3" frame, even if she were heavily muscled underneath, that's a lot of extra fat - and given how she looks, there's probably a lot of it in and around the internal organs, which is the truly deadly type. She said that she needs some external reminding that she would be healthier at a lower weight, and people are providing that so she can work on the motivation she needs to be healthier.

No-one considers it mean to agree with someone complaining about their crazy hair. Most people are happy to receive a recommendation for a tactic or hair product that might help!
The only reason it's considered 'mean' to state the fact that a person is fat is that people have way too much self-worth tied up in their weight.

I like myself well enough. But that doesn't mean I need to believe I am perfect. Despite being a generally decent person, I am fat. I need to lose fat to be healthier and more able to do the sorts of things I would like to do. I also need to gain some muscle to accomplish that. And yes, I would also like to appear more attractive to my husband. I also have completely untame-able hair. I also have to work on being nicer to people when I am frustrated. Self-improvement is good, and being aware of and working on my faults (including excess fat) does not interfere with my self-respect. Not should it anyone else's.

I think this is just proof that BMI is not a reliable measure in many cases, because you are clearly not obese.

I do feel the same way though, I feel fine until I see a picture, or sometimes a mirror that isn't my own, if that makes sense. I look in the mirror in the bedroom and look fine, but then when I get somewhere else and see a mirror I can look at myself I look that awful and fat.

Perhaps what is a healthy body hasn't changed, but our knowledge of what makes a healthy body will have, just like all other medical knowledge. For instance, those who carry more weight around their middle have a greater risk factor for heart disease, they could have the exact same bmi as a pear shaped girl, but they are less healthy, and through no fault of their own. They have a similar diet to the pear shaped girl next to them, and a similar work out routine, but they are less healthy because of their body type.

Plus, women in the sixties didn't work out like many women today, so their lean body mass was less, also accounting partially for higher body weights.

Just a couple of thoughts.