I was thinking about working out today BUT.....

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Replies

  • chosengiver
    chosengiver Posts: 1,462 Member
    Wait just a minute.
    See, I have put all of my information into MFP & have been eating 1200cals/day and exercising with vigorous effort & burning 1201 cals/day--because that's what MFP tells me I'm burning. I have completed my diary EVERY SINGLE DAY for 5 weeks, & I am STILL the same weight as I was 5 weeks ago. What am I doing wrong? I would post pics for you all to see, but I don't know how to do this.
    Hmmm, maybe I'll post a new thread about it. I bet other people would like to know too.
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Wait just a minute.
    See, I have put all of my information into MFP & have been eating 1200cals/day and exercising with vigorous effort & burning 1201 cals/day--because that's what MFP tells me I'm burning. I have completed my diary EVERY SINGLE DAY for 5 weeks, & I am STILL the same weight as I was 5 weeks ago. What am I doing wrong? I would post pics for you all to see, but I don't know how to do this.
    Hmmm, maybe I'll post a new thread about it. I bet other people would like to know too.

    so the in 5 weeks you will weigh calculator is broken???? email the site moderators immediatly and then make a whiney post about it....and then post again to complain how mean everyone was to you in your original whiney post....then I'll post about how I hate whiney posts.

    oh and you are in starvation mode living on minus 1 calorie a day.........you probably have less than an hour to live.
  • Jenn09870
    Jenn09870 Posts: 66 Member
    It's totally water weight... If you drink 3 gallons of hot water while standing on your head it will reset your system and you'll get your thigh gap back.

    I think mine is only maybe 3lbs muscle and the rest is the cream sandwich...
    And I think my black socks aren't the right length...
    Gonna try the one brown, one blue, How tall should they be?
  • chosengiver
    chosengiver Posts: 1,462 Member
    1 hour??? Seriously??
    Well, let me just tell you about my night.
    I went to a gym out of town & saw all these jarheads lifting MASS amounts of weights. Their arms were HUGE. No way I was going to touch those weights. I defo don't want to look like that!
    But then, I saw this woman lifting--doing military-style pullups & lifting most of the same weights as the jarheads.
    I thought "WOW".
    So, I came back to the hotel where my mom and I are staying for a week and tell her about this lady.
    My mom is a self-proclaimed nutritionist, since she read Brenda Watson's book & has started eating only organic foods and taking probiotics and cleansing everything from her eyelids to her toenails & everything in between.
    She told me that women shouldn't be lifting all of that heavy weight, because we would surely bulk up like the jarheads.
    I know she is telling the truth, since she is my mom & every word that proceeds from her mouth is the gospel truth!
    Luckily for me, the only thing I had lifted at that gym was my monogrammed gym towel that read "Girls Like Me DON'T Sweat"!
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    1 hour??? Seriously??
    Well, let me just tell you about my night.
    I went to a gym out of town & saw all these jarheads lifting MASS amounts of weights. Their arms were HUGE. No way I was going to touch those weights. I defo don't want to look like that!
    But then, I saw this woman lifting--doing military-style pullups & lifting most of the same weights as the jarheads.
    I thought "WOW".
    So, I came back to the hotel where my mom and I are staying for a week and tell her about this lady.
    My mom is a self-proclaimed nutritionist, since she read Brenda Watson's book & has started eating only organic foods and taking probiotics and cleansing everything from her eyelids to her toenails & everything in between.
    She told me that women shouldn't be lifting all of that heavy weight, because we would surely bulk up like the jarheads.
    I know she is telling the truth, since she is my mom & every word that proceeds from her mouth is the gospel truth!
    Luckily for me, the only thing I had lifted at that gym was my monogrammed gym towel that read "Girls Like Me DON'T Sweat"!

    OMG>>>>>>>>>>I can't believe I am going to say this, but I might have been wrong, it's been more than an hour and you are still alive phew.....means you weren't in real "'starvation mode" YET.....but you are not out of danger. scale back your workout to burn only 1199 calories and you should be fine. By the way I so need a towel like yours.....totally jealous!!
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    It's totally water weight... If you drink 3 gallons of hot water while standing on your head it will reset your system and you'll get your thigh gap back.

    I think mine is only maybe 3lbs muscle and the rest is the cream sandwich...
    And I think my black socks aren't the right length...
    Gonna try the one brown, one blue, How tall should they be?

    Length doesn't matter just make sure they are both the same and it's all good. I'm not the expert on this though, so I could be wrong then you might find your clothes are not as LOSE as they used to be.
  • GC_Hutson
    GC_Hutson Posts: 83
    Just the thought caused me to break out into a sweat and my heart was racing so I decided against it. However I logged that as 10 cal burned and ate them all at one sitting!!! :sad:
    First, begin a new string that starts with the word "sigh...," then proceed to ask for support and affirmation from complete strangers regarding your unquenchable desire to eat an additional 10 calories.

    Then, log 10 calories under "Codependent Blogging."
    I was going to leave them but thought I might go into starvation mode, so what I'm wondering is did I do the right thing????
    Have you tried going Vegan?
    Sometimes I log in the 23 calories I burn doing laundry, or even my sex-ercise calories but I don't want to do anything to hinder my loss.
    So you know, fat-sex weighs more than muscle-sex.
    my other problem is I REALLY REALLY WANT A HUGE GAP BETWEEN MY THIGHS....and I'm not sure how I am going to spot reduce only that area.......maybe I should eat only 600 cal a day??? would that be harmful??
    Are you trying to get a NET gap between your thighs? Or are you adding up all the gap you have for the day, then dividing between your legs?
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Just the thought caused me to break out into a sweat and my heart was racing so I decided against it. However I logged that as 10 cal burned and ate them all at one sitting!!! :sad:
    First, begin a new string that starts with the word "sigh...," then proceed to ask for support and affirmation from complete strangers regarding your unquenchable desire to eat an additional 10 calories.

    Then, log 10 calories under "Codependent Blogging."
    I was going to leave them but thought I might go into starvation mode, so what I'm wondering is did I do the right thing????
    Have you tried going Vegan?
    Sometimes I log in the 23 calories I burn doing laundry, or even my sex-ercise calories but I don't want to do anything to hinder my loss.
    So you know, fat-sex weighs more than muscle-sex.
    my other problem is I REALLY REALLY WANT A HUGE GAP BETWEEN MY THIGHS....and I'm not sure how I am going to spot reduce only that area.......maybe I should eat only 600 cal a day??? would that be harmful??
    Are you trying to get a NET gap between your thighs? Or are you adding up all the gap you have for the day, then dividing between your legs?

    Well I am vegan so yes I have tried that, but even veggie calories can add up and pack on the thigh poundage. I wasn't thinking about the NET gap........I was just dividing it up.....so I'll have to redo my evaluation on that. Can you please explain the difference in fat-sex and muscle-sex please......is it a positions kind of thing?
  • GC_Hutson
    GC_Hutson Posts: 83
    Can you please explain the difference in fat-sex and muscle-sex please......is it a positions kind of thing?
    See... fat-sex is more dense, by volume than muscle-sex, because muscle-sex, per square inch, contains more hottness than a pound of fat-sex.

    And of course it is common knowledge that muscle-sex smells like bacon, and fat-sex smells like alcohol and shame.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Can you please explain the difference in fat-sex and muscle-sex please......is it a positions kind of thing?
    See... fat-sex is more dense, by volume than muscle-sex, because muscle-sex, per square inch, contains more hottness than a pound of fat-sex.

    And of course it is common knowledge that muscle-sex smells like bacon, and fat-sex smells like alcohol and shame.
    ^^This just won the entire thread.
  • Heatherbell14
    Heatherbell14 Posts: 16
    LMAO!!!
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    Can you please explain the difference in fat-sex and muscle-sex please......is it a positions kind of thing?
    See... fat-sex is more dense, by volume than muscle-sex, because muscle-sex, per square inch, contains more hottness than a pound of fat-sex.

    And of course it is common knowledge that muscle-sex smells like bacon, and fat-sex smells like alcohol and shame.

    I have to say I'm quite muscular.....so I don't really think i'm doing fat sex but the alcohol smell is there, and sometimes a bit of is it over yet......is that why my thighs touch??
  • GC_Hutson
    GC_Hutson Posts: 83
    I have to say I'm quite muscular.....so I don't really think i'm doing fat sex but the alcohol smell is there, and sometimes a bit of is it over yet......is that why my thighs touch??
    I don't know. Have you tried posting Before and After pictures of your gap?
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    I have to say I'm quite muscular.....so I don't really think i'm doing fat sex but the alcohol smell is there, and sometimes a bit of is it over yet......is that why my thighs touch??
    I don't know. Have you tried posting Before and After pictures of your gap?

    are we allowed to take pics of our gap? should I do a top view or full frontal?
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I came here because it was linked on another post as being a "mean" thread. Maybe I'm an evil person, but this is so great :) thanks for the laughs :flowerforyou:
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
    I came here because it was linked on another post as being a "mean" thread. Maybe I'm an evil person, but this is so great :) thanks for the laughs :flowerforyou:

    You are welcome!! only the truly awesome MFP members can enjoy this thread.

    Oh and evil is allowed here.....so hopefully you are :devil:
  • mminor77
    mminor77 Posts: 313
    [/quote]

    Oh and evil is allowed here.....so hopefully you are :devil:
    [/quote]

    My mama always said girls are the devil so maybe thats why I enjoy this thread so much!! :devil: :happy:
  • bigphatcat
    bigphatcat Posts: 7,843 Member
    It's totally water weight... If you drink 3 gallons of hot water while standing on your head it will reset your system and you'll get your thigh gap back.

    I think mine is only maybe 3lbs muscle and the rest is the cream sandwich...
    And I think my black socks aren't the right length...
    Gonna try the one brown, one blue, How tall should they be?

    Length doesn't matter just make sure they are both the same and it's all good. I'm not the expert on this though, so I could be wrong then you might find your clothes are not as LOSE as they used to be.

    You got it all wrong...use the fuzzy winter socks...you'll sweat more therefore you will burn more calories...just like a grecco-roman wrestler who wears a trash bag under his sweatshirt in Arizona July while running to cut weight.

    btw...who says length doesn't matter?
  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,296 Member
    I thought this was going to say...."But I got high". Lol.

    awesome statement. enough said.
  • stefanieceleste0530
    stefanieceleste0530 Posts: 177 Member

    Your welcome.....I'm always willing to share my sarcastic sense of humor with those that appreciate it.

    WAIT!!!!!! This post is supposed to be funny??? CRAP! I was taking notes and getting ready to revamp my entire program based on all of the amazing information and ideas. :explode:
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    I have to say I'm quite muscular.....so I don't really think i'm doing fat sex but the alcohol smell is there, and sometimes a bit of is it over yet......is that why my thighs touch??
    I don't know. Have you tried posting Before and After pictures of your gap?

    are we allowed to take pics of our gap? should I do a top view or full frontal?

    I took pictures at the Gap once but they didn't turn out so I had to move on to American Eagle. Are they still open?

    Concerning fat-sex, I am completely offended. Fat-sex burns WAY more caloreis because as you know us fat people have to work 3 times as hard to make up for the fact that we are fat, so the other person does not feel the need to swallow Drano the next moring to avoid the embarrassment of sleeping with us. If you get the person to wake up next to you and say, "Wow fat *kitten*, you are really good at that". please log 1343 calories and go buy a twinkie.
  • chosengiver
    chosengiver Posts: 1,462 Member
    .......so the other person does not feel the need to swallow......

    Are you now suggesting we "spit"?
    I am now completely confused!
  • chosengiver
    chosengiver Posts: 1,462 Member
    See... fat-sex is more dense, by volume than muscle-sex, because muscle-sex, per square inch, contains more hottness than a pound of fat-sex.
    And of course it is common knowledge that muscle-sex smells like bacon, and fat-sex smells like alcohol and shame.

    How do any of these compare to having sex versus not getting any?
    Would it then matter if it were muscle or fat or would you just be grateful to actually have a little?
  • ilovemybuggy
    ilovemybuggy Posts: 1,584 Member
    I came here because it was linked on another post as being a "mean" thread.

    This!! And I'm glad I did bc I forgot all about scissors!
  • chosengiver
    chosengiver Posts: 1,462 Member
    my other problem is I REALLY REALLY WANT A HUGE GAP BETWEEN MY THIGHS....and I'm not sure how I am going to spot reduce only that area.......

    When all other measures fail, you could always try something like this.....
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Fantasy-Bar-and-Cuff-Set-CUFF-WRIST-ANKLE-/160457854142
  • Jenn09870
    Jenn09870 Posts: 66 Member
    I came here because it was linked on another post as being a "mean" thread. Maybe I'm an evil person, but this is so great :) thanks for the laughs :flowerforyou:

    Furiously searching to find that post....
    How can I log this? Must have burned a butt load of calories.
    Length doesn't matter just make sure they are both the same and it's all good. I'm not the expert on this though, so I could be wrong then you might find your clothes are not as LOSE as they used to be.

    ceb75a5b.jpg

    The length does seem to make a difference when increasing thigh gappage.
  • rlmadrid
    rlmadrid Posts: 694 Member
    ^ Wow. I'm surprised the artist didn't correct them!
  • sshook990
    sshook990 Posts: 284
    perhaps you need to get walk fit shoes and sit on your couch watching other people exercise while drinking beer out of your alumium water bottle! that should increase the gap so much that you could pull a car through it!!!
  • chosengiver
    chosengiver Posts: 1,462 Member
    perhaps you need to get walk fit shoes and sit on your couch watching other people exercise while drinking beer out of your alumium water bottle! that should increase the gap so much that you could pull a car through it!!!
    ^^^THIS!! For sure!!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Hey you guys, you know what I figured out? If you work out, you will get more tan and more blonde!

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