Overweight and obese children!!!
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I have three nieces who are all overweight. They are 11, 12, and 14. All are a good 3"-5" shorter than me, and the 12 and 14 year old outweigh me by at least ten or twenty pounds, if not more. The 11 year old weighs 5 pounds less than me. I'm 38 years old and these are my brother's girls. I don't get to see them very often because I live in a different city, so whenever I do see them I'm floored by how much they eat.
The reason they are overweigh is all diet related, because they are all active in sports. They have absolutely no one monitoring what they are eating. They eat what they want, and if they ask for something, they get it. It is primarily junk food and fast food. The 11 year old is constantly snacking and all she thinks about is food. The minute you finish one meal, she's asking what we are going to have for dinner. They "don't like" vegetables or anything healthy. (Have they tried them? No, they haven't. I found that out when I forced the 12 year old to try a bite of cucumber. Someone has put in their heads that vegetables aren't good -- I'm not sure who.) The 14 year old is finally starting to put together that she is overweight because of her diet. My mom bought her "Eat This, Not That" and she has taken it to heart, and has started losing some weight. I hope she keeps it up, and hope her younger sisters also get on board.
My brother is really active, so he eats a lot of food and really doesn't gain much weight. His daughters try to keep up with him, and he is too dense (I love him, but...) to realize that maybe his young daughters shouldn't be packing away three hotdogs at a time with him. The girls' mothers are both obese and do not eat well at all. There is just no one teaching them what to eat and how to eat healthy. It really breaks my heart every time I see them. They look so unhealthy. I want to swoop them up and bring them to my house for about three months of healthy eating! It's just such a hard subject, because you don't want to damage their self confidence or self esteem, but the fact is, they all need to be eating better.
I feel like overweight is fast becoming the norm with kids. I remember there being maybe one or two kids in my class who were overweight. Now I feel like everywhere I look I'm seeing 10 year olds with muffin tops.0 -
This is the sole reason I'm trying to lose weight so my daughter doesnt grow up obsessed with self image as I was. Was always over weight as a child but it had mostly to do with emotional problems from a divorce and my dad remarrying a woman who was so jealous of me. Anyway I recently saw a show on parader willI-syndrome it's an eating disorder where you never feel full. If everything else seems to be fine in the house and the get a Handle on their eating habits and she's still eating this way this might be the cause.0
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On a side note I feel like all the hormones that go into our meat and dairy have a tremendous effect on our children. I opt for hormone free organic0
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When there is crap in the house that is what the kids want. If they don't KNOW what a coke is then they won't ask for it. If they have never been to McDonalds then they don't ask for it. If they don't KNOW that kids "aren't supposed to like" liver, brussel sprouts and vegetables they will eat whatever they are given. Children will eat what you eat. If they are offered treats then that is what they will want - I mean would you rather eat something yummy and chocolaty sweet or a big plate of spinach?? Kids aren't stupid..they will go for the treats every time if they have the choice. The trick is not to give them that choice until they are responsible enough to make it and by that time if everything has been done with the best interest of the child in mind they won't 'crave' crap.
Are you suggesting that until a child is old enough to recognize what is healthy and choose that over something that is junky (but tastier) - which, by all accounts, could be well into their teen years or even older, or maybe never, judging the number of obese adults these days - they should not be allowed to even know that such treats exist? That sounds like just as potentially disastrous as overfeeding junk.
I said the same thing earlier.
I can tell the person quoted first above has no children of her own. I was surprised when she started talking about her 4 year old and then unsuprised when it turned out to be a step child.
First, kids don't just naturally like foods. Most of them aren't like "I've never tasted anything but spinich and I totes love it." Plus, you can NOT completely keep them from eating something "bad." Any child that's past the age of 3 that's never had a piece of candy has a crazy person for their parent. Totally their choice but do you know what it would take to pull that off? Halloween is one of the most AMAZING days of my life as a parent. Seriously, I will take these memories to my grave a happier person because of them.
I can't judge everyone because I only have 3 kids (not 20) and even though we're really tough parents, I can see where some kids would just flat out refuse to eat something and starve to death. ****Thankfully****, none of my 3 are like this. They eat what we cook for dinner (by "we" I mean my husband). If they eat enough (not one of those "everything on your plate type of things but 1 bit of chicken won't cut it), they get fruit. When they finish that, they may get an ice cream sandwhich (small - like 100 calories) or whatever. They are absolutely in perfect shape (and gorgeous *of course*). The 9 year old has a resting 6 pack and an 8-10 pack when he's running (jealous!).
I wish I was brought up on better food. I had a single mother and we never could afford to eat out -- or even fast food -- so that wasn't an issue but TV dinners? All the time. Cheap food galor and no rules with it. I can understand the guy eating candy bars AWAY from his kids. I get it. I've never done it but I've never been rail thin either. It's good that he's stopping the cycle with himself and realizes it's not what's best for his kiddo.0 -
I have been passionate about, and have spent much time pondering, this topic for years.
First of all, opinions will vary based on 1) OUR generation and 2) Our CHILDRENS generation. There is an evolution of the stay at home Mother becoming the work away from home Mother becoming the sole parent becoming the second wife. I am not saying men/dads have been excluded in this evolution, but you have to admit that purchase and preparation of meals has largely fallen on the Mother through most of this. At the same time, the food we have picked has evolved: TV Dinners became more frozen food became more boxed foods became restaurant eating became drive thru eating. Each section bringing more and more preservatives, additives to make it go further and lesser quality, mostly in effort to increase profit margins. Pushing the line of acceptable without crossing it. The foods have changed because lives have changed. Parents don't feel they have time, parents feel it is too expensive to eat healthy (or really CANNOT afford anything besides pasta and hot dogs), parents feel guilty for separating or divorcing. Parents THEMSELVES don't like to eat well. Add to all of this, teenage parenting has risen, while the maturity level of those same teens has dropped. Now enter the disclosure that certain foods (which make up a HUGE number of the ingredients lists of a lot of these foods) actually stimulate your brain to crave MORE of it. As these children grow, schools provide the same type of lunches, health and nutrition classes are WAY below par on ACTUALLY educating the concept of calories, or at least, they are delivering the information at a young age, where kids don't really understand how it affects their own body, and failing to deliver AGAIN when the kids are at a point where THEY choose what to eat. These children grow up, often not knowing any better, often seeing obese people and not getting the connection to themselves. And then THEY have children. Also, up until (relatively) recently, the list of approved foods for Food Assistance programs did NOT include fresh fruits and vegetables in most areas.
I decided to change my life to STOP the cycle as best I can, within my own power... MY family. My husband and I are both obese. I gradually gained weight as a child, from a lot of pasta and cheap foods and parents who didn't like vegetabes, struggled with their own weight and failed to set an example of a healthy self-image. Plus, I wasn't overly active outside, for many LEGITIMATE reasons. My husband was a healthy kid and active outdoors. He is 100% Italian. His mother made pasta every night (I'm not saying pasta is evil, just using an example of how moderation is key) and he rarely ate in a restaurant. Both of us discovered, as teenagers, that fast food tasted AWESOME. We had jobs, and we had cars. And we had open campus for school lunch. Less activity + unlimited funds + fast food for lunch = what led to TWO obese people. It's what we had in common, and we made it worse for each other. We've each gained 100lbs or more since we got together in high school. I won't get into my own 4-year olds habits, because he is still too young for me to understand what his problem is. But we know how we got to where we are and we know he isn't headed down the same path. We make meals he doesn't know are "healthy" and as a family, we run up hills and around tracks together. He is an acceptable weight for his height (he is SUPER tall, predicted to be 6'4 or more - so his weight is "high" for his age, but they don't take the height into consideration on the charts - he is all-around the "healthy" size of a 5 1/2 - 6 year old). We are raising him with this as the normal. I am so very thankful that my dawning came before he knew it was a "change" and that, hopefully, his relationship with food is far healthier than his parents. We also hope that we can get to much smaller sizes ourselves so that he only has a vague memory of when mom and dad were morbidly obese.0 -
When there is crap in the house that is what the kids want. If they don't KNOW what a coke is then they won't ask for it. If they have never been to McDonalds then they don't ask for it. If they don't KNOW that kids "aren't supposed to like" liver, brussel sprouts and vegetables they will eat whatever they are given. Children will eat what you eat. If they are offered treats then that is what they will want - I mean would you rather eat something yummy and chocolaty sweet or a big plate of spinach?? Kids aren't stupid..they will go for the treats every time if they have the choice. The trick is not to give them that choice until they are responsible enough to make it and by that time if everything has been done with the best interest of the child in mind they won't 'crave' crap.Are you suggesting that until a child is old enough to recognize what is healthy and choose that over something that is junky (but tastier) - which, by all accounts, could be well into their teen years or even older, or maybe never, judging the number of obese adults these days - they should not be allowed to even know that such treats exist? That sounds like just as potentially disastrous as overfeeding junk.I can tell the person quoted first above has no children of her own. I was surprised when she started talking about her 4 year old and then unsuprised when it turned out to be a step child.
Me too.First, kids don't just naturally like foods. Most of them aren't like "I've never tasted anything but spinich and I totes love it." Plus, you can NOT completely keep them from eating something "bad." Any child that's past the age of 3 that's never had a piece of candy has a crazy person for their parent. Totally their choice but do you know what it would take to pull that off? Halloween is one of the most AMAZING days of my life as a parent. Seriously, I will take these memories to my grave a happier person because of them.
Or NEVER leave their child's side. Other people introduced my kids to chicken nuggets, donuts and pop. Not this Mama. But now he knows them. Oh effing well. I tried.I can understand the guy eating candy bars AWAY from his kids. I get it. I've never done it but I've never been rail thin either.
Done it. Did it last night. Not a chocolate bar, but 4yr old was in bed and got up. Noooo, I did NOT want him having ice cream (does Arctic Zero even count?) at midnight. So I hid it from him.0 -
If you stick junk infront of a kid they will usually eat it.
My 5 years old is being educated about food by me, not that I am an expert but I have common sense these days after been woken up to the corporate spoon fed ****e.
We don't allow junk food/sweets except for Friday and meal out etc, even then its limited.
I have allowed it into his diet so he knows that they are an occasional food, he will even tell people what good and bad and why you cant eat it everyday.
I now do all the cooking, most of it from scratch healthy food is quick and easy to make.0 -
my kids follow the "eat or go hungry" rule. Since i have started here, i don't even have crap in the house anymore. I am not fond of them playing outside, as i KNOW there are sex offenders in our neighborhood (the sex offended list wasn't available until years after i bought the house)0
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I have no problem seeing a fat or obese kid. I guess it was because I was one. I was never a thin kid, yet when I was younger, I was one of the onliest fat kids in the class. It wasn't easy being a fat kid then and I can only imagine being a fat kid now. I am an adult struggling with health issues that was partially caused by being fat. Another issue is that things were safer then and a lot of people didn't seem to have much problems with having their kids being weighed at school or even going outside to play with their friends. Times were simpler yet obesity was always there, just not as much as it is now.0
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To be perfectly honest children simply do not have access to the kind of outdoor play they used to. A busy parking lot is no place for a kid to play.0
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I think it's easy to judge when you are on the outside. There might be more going on than just poor eating habits. The fact that you're on this board makes me think you should have more insight and sympathy than this.0
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From what I see kids don't go out to play anymore, they don't run around, ride bikes etc. they are stuck in front of a telly or pc screen. My son is nine and he is really active, tv is only a treat when he has moved about a bit!
THIS! Same with my 8 year old...he plays sports and plays outside. Now, he also plays video games more than he should, but it is limited somewhat.0 -
It makes me sad to see an overweight child, even more so when the parents are also overweight. It speaks of more than one generation of bad habits. It's a parent's responsibility to ensure a healthy lifestyle for their children- NO child should be left to their own devices to make good decisions for themselves when it comes to diet and exercise if it's even an option to choose from a junk food, video game and TV filled home. The issue I see most often is that what I consider "sometimes" foods are "everyday" foods in some households- soda, processed and premade food, chips, cookies, candy.
In our quest as a society to make life more convenient for ourselves, we've also made it unhealthier for our kids.0 -
Agreed. I was a child of the 80s and early 90s and never in those years have I heard about so much crime and school shootings as I have now. Also, I have never heard so much about a problem so big that you have government officials passing laws and thinking about passing fat taxes either. I believe that another reason why there are more overweight or obese kids is because a lot more kids are taking meds that make them fat. That could be one of many frustrating issues that anyone can deal with. I wonder how many more medications are out there now than there were 20 years ago. I suspect that it is a lot more. It behooves me that doctors would prescribe kids adult meds knowing what the side effects are.0
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Erm you don't have to smash kids or use violence to get your point across,if you have to resort to those tactics then I'm afraid it was already to late.0
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Worry about your own kids. yeesh0
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Kids do play, its child abuse
Parents "they won't eat anything but chocolate, cries usless they get chips and pizza"
When I was a kid, " mam, I don't like this dinner, reply, smack, theres people starving, eat it or go hungry"
Problem solved.
If you have fat kids you should be ashamed of yourselves? Would you give a kid cigerettes? Or Alcohol? Or would you starve a child?
I wasn't a fat kid but I was a fussy eater. I wish my Mam had given me a smack instead of pandering to childish whims, would have helped me more in the long run! Thankfully my fussy eating days are long behind me, changed pretty quick after I left home and got out in the real world.
I don't have kids myself as seemed to miss the boat on that one but it annoys me that so many of those that do rear their kids so badly!
You're 41 not 105 you can totally still have a lil one if you want to!0 -
From what I see kids don't go out to play anymore, they don't run around, ride bikes etc. they are stuck in front of a telly or pc screen. My son is nine and he is really active, tv is only a treat when he has moved about a bit!
every day it's nice out, my kids and I are outside. Even just for an hour. We've been doing a lot of swimming at the lake. They run around the yard and play in the sprinkler and pool, and in the winter, play in the snow. We go for walks a lot too.0 -
One of the problems is that food is a social thing. In France, there is much less of this idea of 'kid-friendly' foods, like here in the states. Even though Americans/Brits can *try* to recreate a more French-like food culture, kids see what their peers are eating.
Unfortunately, this will continue to be a problem as long as the kid food culture is all about eating rich foods with lots of refined sugar, salt, fat and white flour.0 -
I was taught you eat what is in front of you and you don't leave the table until you do. Granted, there wouldn't be much on the plate, but still. As a kid between dance and swimming, and then band martial arts as a teenager plus other school activities (including sports) I didn't get a chance to sit in front of the tv or the computer (computer usually was for homework only) until I was in college. And even now, over half of the time the tv stays off, and i limit myself on the computer because I am up and moving.0
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I was an overweight child, and to this day, I am still fighting it.
I can honestly say that my weight issues are entirely the result of my parents' actions. From the time I was old enough to remember until I moved out of the house at the age of 18, every meal served was fried and had gravy on it. Even vegetables were breaded and fried. Sweets were always available, salads were disdained, and mostly meat was served. If foods weren 't fried, they were drenched in butter, cream cheese, or worse.
When I became obviously overweight, my parents made a big deal out of it. Dinner would be served, and I would be chastised for eating more than one fried chicken leg. Sweets were available, but off-limits to me. It all made me feel ostracised and depressed, and the result was that I would sneak the sweets, and my weight ballooned more. As a teen, I went on every crazy fad diet that made the rounds, and I believe that my metabolism has been damaged to this day.
Parents, please remember that small children don't make their own choices, or at least they shouldn't. My kids get treats on occasion, because I don't want them to feel like they have to sneak it away in order to have it. Our meals are extremely healthy, and of my children are following in my footsteps and enjoying healthy eating.
I just want them to have a better example than I did.0 -
I think it depends. I really don't see kids out that often around here. I live right by a really nice park and I never see kids there... it's weird to me. At the same time, I've always been overweight and I was outside all the time as a child. I would ride my bike, climb trees, play tag, play kick ball... even helped my brother and his friends with their paper route. Still, I was fat. Kids are definitely not as active as when I was a kid but they also eat more horribly as well.
Parents definitely need to take a more active role in their kids actions. I didn't know what nutrition was when I was kid and kids today don't know what it is either.0 -
I was an overweight child, and to this day, I am still fighting it.
I can honestly say that my weight issues are entirely the result of my parents' actions. From the time I was old enough to remember until I moved out of the house at the age of 18, every meal served was fried and had gravy on it. Even vegetables were breaded and fried. Sweets were always available, salads were disdained, and mostly meat was served. If foods weren 't fried, they were drenched in butter, cream cheese, or worse.
When I became obviously overweight, my parents made a big deal out of it. Dinner would be served, and I would be chastised for eating more than one fried chicken leg. Sweets were available, but off-limits to me. It all made me feel ostracised and depressed, and the result was that I would sneak the sweets, and my weight ballooned more. As a teen, I went on every crazy fad diet that made the rounds, and I believe that my metabolism has been damaged to this day.
Parents, please remember that small children don't make their own choices, or at least they shouldn't. My kids get treats on occasion, because I don't want them to feel like they have to sneak it away in order to have it. Our meals are extremely healthy, and of my children are following in my footsteps and enjoying healthy eating.
I just want them to have a better example than I did.
Mostly because I still have issues with how I was raised (food-wise), I'm curious to know your parents health now and whether they themselves have battled obesity.
(Both of my parents struggled. Both chastised me. Both have health issues from not caring for their body and both still not only tell me they are worried about my weight, but make me feel guilty when I don't eat the junk they are trying to give me.
WTF? It's like they don't see the connection, AT ALL)0 -
This is a pretty popular thread right now. Unless there is a medical reason, there is no reason for a child to be obese. I started to gain a bunch of weight in 3rd grade, and that was the beginning of my weight issues. The main reason was because my parents got me my own T.V. and so I stopped leaving my bedroom. I was also a light eater when I was younger. I think I was more in tune with my hunger cues, so I only ate what I needed. But I was raised to always clean my plate, and I couldn't leave the table until I had cleaned my plate. I think it was around this age when I stopped listening to my cues and would eat just for the sake of eating. Oh yeah! And I stopped getting kids meals at McDonalds and graduated to adult meals, and my parents would get me whole candy bars and pint sized chocolate milks everytime they went to the cigarette store. That was a couple times a week. I loved all of that chocolate!
I know better now, and I'm going to try my best to not make the same mistakes with my own children. I remember griping about how children shouldn't be eating adult sized fast food meals at the age of 8, and a friend of mine with some serious weight issues got kind of offended and said that her step daughter was eating adult sized meals by the age of 8 b/c she's a "big girl" and the kids meals just didn't fill her up. Well no duh she's a big girl. She's a big girl because she eats adult sized meals. People can retrain themselves to eat smaller portions.0 -
I was taught you eat what is in front of you and you don't leave the table until you do. Granted, there wouldn't be much on the plate, but still. As a kid between dance and swimming, and then band martial arts as a teenager plus other school activities (including sports) I didn't get a chance to sit in front of the tv or the computer (computer usually was for homework only) until I was in college. And even now, over half of the time the tv stays off, and i limit myself on the computer because I am up and moving.
I came from a home where my mothered forced me to eat and not allowed to leave till I had eaten ( even for hours). I ended up in care because of this and I know lots of my and my sibling food issues to this day are because of what she did.0 -
It makes me so mad to see kids who are overweight and obese! Don't get me wrong, I understand some may have a health issue and sometimes it can't be helped. My cousins kids are HUGE, due to lack of exercise, eating CRAP and being lazy!!! And then their mom, makes a special trip to the store to get stuff for bananna splits!! WTH!!! It's sad!
My son eats what i make and exercises every day! My daughter is only 6 months old, but when she's older, she will do the same! I have a lot of people in my family who are OVERWEIGHT and have health issues because of it!! It's so irritating that they won't acknowledge why they have health problems! I think most parents these days just take the easy convenient route and do what makes the kid happy! Sure, my son gets a cookie, or some candy here and there, but NOT everyday, just because he wants it. He gets tired of steak, chicken, fish, fruits and veggies but we do throw in a pizza occasionally, but let me tell you....if he was overweight, I would absolutely not fill him up with junk just to make him happy or in hopes of him being good for a while! IMO: Most obese/overweight kids are that way as a result of their parents choices!
Hope this makes sense....LOL! This topic just pisses me off!0 -
In case anyone is interested - Ellyn Satter has a book about fostering healthy eating habits with kids, starting from when they are little. It's called "Child of Mine."
Basically, she describes a "division of responsibility" , and you don't ever force a kid to eat.
You decide, what, when and where they eat, and kids decide whether to eat and how much. (So, chicken, rice and broccoli, at the dinner table, 5:00 pm; up to the kid whether they take one bite, ten bites or non.) Always have something at the table the kid likes - something incorporated into the meal. (like if your kid likes pasta, but not sauce, fine to serve pasta separately. Kid can eat pasta sauce or not, no biggie.
The idea is to avoid conflict over food. Kids want to establish autonomy; one way of exerting control is to eat or not eat. I matter of factly serve my daughter whatever we're eating. I have found that she is much more likely to try a new food if there is also something familiar on the table. But I don't push her to try "one more bite" or whatever. Sometimes she eats more than me, sometimes she eats nothing at all, and her weight is just fine. Children encouraged to eat more (underweight) will generally end up eating less , and overweight children encouraged to eat less will end up eating more.0 -
In case anyone is interested - Ellyn Satter has a book about fostering healthy eating habits with kids, starting from when they are little. It's called "Child of Mine."
Basically, she describes a "division of responsibility" , and you don't ever force a kid to eat.
You decide, what, when and where they eat, and kids decide whether to eat and how much. (So, chicken, rice and broccoli, at the dinner table, 5:00 pm; up to the kid whether they take one bite, ten bites or non.) Always have something at the table the kid likes - something incorporated into the meal. (like if your kid likes pasta, but not sauce, fine to serve pasta separately. Kid can eat pasta sauce or not, no biggie.
The idea is to avoid conflict over food. Kids want to establish autonomy; one way of exerting control is to eat or not eat. I matter of factly serve my daughter whatever we're eating. I have found that she is much more likely to try a new food if there is also something familiar on the table. But I don't push her to try "one more bite" or whatever. Sometimes she eats more than me, sometimes she eats nothing at all, and her weight is just fine. Children encouraged to eat more (underweight) will generally end up eating less , and overweight children encouraged to eat less will end up eating more.
That sounds a really useful book. Mine eat better now as we have not made food an issue - it has taken a long time but its great when my autistic son actually enjoys something I've made like risotto and want to try new things. They know if they try it and dont like its ok . My daughter who is worse will now ask what I'm cooking and quite often try a bit. As there is no pressure to eat it and they know that its not going to end up as a battle of wills they are much more relaxed around food. I've also come to realise that they have different eating habits such as one is a grazer and will eat more if she has a little at a time than a meal which she will leave most of.0 -
That's the problem... They don't. Studies time and time across various western countries reveal that parents are blind to child obesity and think their size is not a problem. When shown images of healthy weight children they often think they are underweight.
This and the denial factor - parents usually do not want to admit their child is overweight, or they say things like "they'll grow out of it" or "it's puppy fat".
And in a lot of cases, they do... Children's bodies are growing and changing all the time, and often go through periods where the body is storing resources for a growth spurt. Obviously I'm not talking about major levels of excess weight, but applying adult standards to children's bodies is unwise. In physique, diet, or strenuous exercise, especially weight-lifting type activities.
Growth spurts... that's upwards. We're talking sideways.
One of my daughters grows sideways before a growth spurt. I really worry about her. Just the other day she was crying because she was "fat". She was never really aware of weight until one little girl at preschool called her fat. Then she became hyper aware of the differences between her and her other siblings. I held her while she cried and told her that she was beautiful and everyone looked different. The thing is, she is heavy, surprisingly so for how short she is. She's also wider than my other kids. But, I can't pinch any fat on her. She looks slimmer now that she had her growth spurt, but she will never be rail skinny like my other kids. She is not technically overweight, but is close according to BMI. I'm not in denial, she just has heavy bones, always has. The unfairness of it all is that she is my veggie girl. She will try any veggie and usually likes them. She asks for salad. She has treats once in a while like the other kids do, but she is the one who will say "no thank you" a lot of times or she won't finish it all. I just worry about how she will feel as she grows up (she's only 5) and has more pressure on her to be thin. Media images of thinness will not be attainable for her if she wants to stay healthy.
Sorry, my point is that yes, children do grow sideways as part of their growth spurts, and as adults we should help children foster better body images. While I understand that many/most of you are talking about obese and morbidly obese children, sometimes these criticisms filter down to children with "baby fat" or those who are naturally "thick.". Just as some adults will never have a certain body shape or weight, some kids won't either.0 -
My mother didn't allow kool aid, soda, candy, sugary cereals, doritos or any other junk when we were growing up. I was a normal weight kid.
Of course, when I got out on my own, I went BONKERS. I think I ate my weight in Fruity Pebbles cereal.
I have a 14 year old son now and he knows balance. I'm really proud of that.0
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