Divorced Women keeping the "ex" last name

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  • pinkbullets
    pinkbullets Posts: 15 Member
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    I kept my ex's name just because the whole name change thing is such a pain in the butt.

    That being said, if I ever get married again, I'll change it to my new husband's name,
  • stang_girl88
    stang_girl88 Posts: 234 Member
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    I never changed my last name when I married, PITA. My sister changed hers as soon as she could after getting divorced. She didnt want any part of him or his family. If you have kids, I can totally understand the ex keeping the married name. I dont see it being a big deal, its just a name, not who you are.
  • Jen_Jennings
    Jen_Jennings Posts: 124 Member
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    Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.

    ^^^^^^ THIS! I kept my ex's last name due to my son. I remarried and now we both have my new husbands last name. When you marry and take on your husbands last name, it is legally YOUR name, so why change it? Personal pref I guess. But I kept mine for my son's sake.
  • Nataliaho
    Nataliaho Posts: 878 Member
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    I didn't take my husbands name when we got married so this won't be an issue for me. I can't ever imagine us getting a divorce though. I think that people should do whatever works for them. If a guy has a problem with it then either they are too insecure, or they are probably right about the woman. In either case one should run from the other!
  • Mewlingstork
    Mewlingstork Posts: 266 Member
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    It is so much freaking trouble to change your name.

    This.
  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
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    never got married
    solved that problem
  • jzsor12
    jzsor12 Posts: 69
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    Alot of people do this is they have children, so they keep the same last name as the children. If no kids, I think you should go back to your maiden name. I did.
    yes, my Mum did this. Doesn't bother anyone so why not
  • drwgal
    drwgal Posts: 66
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    My fiancee`'s ex wife kept his last name, she said it was for the children, which is fine, but her actions definitely show other wise as I feel she is a lousy mother to begin with(wont get into details). I don't, in fact from the ex's perspective...she has NO problems going through 3-4 men a week or however often it is. So I don't think those men really care. I on the other don't like it, it makes it a complete PITA for me as now there will be 2 of us out there.
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
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    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
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    If you don't have kids with the ex and there isn't the reason of keeping the same last name as your children, I don't see why you would want to keep it. I certainly didn't, I lived in a really small town, no matter where i went my married last name was instantly recognizable and I was constantly asked if I was related to xx and x. So I couldn't wait to be anonymous.
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
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    to keep the same last name as my kids. If i would ever remarry, i would take my new husbands last name. but i'm not especially close with my family, so i don't really consider taking that back an option. Also, unlike when you get married, you have to go through a separate legal process, with fees, to change your name, or i would have at least had it legally hyphenated
  • yankeesforever
    yankeesforever Posts: 14
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    If there were still young children living at home, I would probably suggest keeping the name, at least until re-marrying. If no kids, or if they are grown, then no reason to keep the name.
  • mm9660
    mm9660 Posts: 10
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    I kept my last name for several reasons. No specific reason for the order
    1. My Mother kept my father's last name.
    2. When I married and divorced I decided to keep my last name the same as my son's last name to avoid any confusion.
    3. It's My right to keep it if I want to. There is no disrespect intended on anyones's part. If the desire to change hit's me or I decided I want to go through the hassle of changing it or if I remarry, then I will change my last name. It just is not a big deal for me at this stage in of my life and any man I am dating has an issue I am running for the hills. Because I would see some control issues in the future of that relationship.
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
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    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    you could easily be my ex's new wife... and i say to f-ing bad. I didn't walk away from the marriage, but i got to the point where after 2 marriage counselors i finally cried "uncle". Funnier still, everything he wasn't willing to do to save our marriage, he IS willing to do to keep his new marriage afloat.
  • SheilaG1963
    SheilaG1963 Posts: 298 Member
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    I kept my exs name for my kids sake. Now that I'm remarried, I still have the ex around. He's more fun!
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    We don't have this problem here.
    When we get married, we don't get the husband's name in this province.

    The provincial government is afraid to lose "french names" so they make it very difficult if we do want our husband's name (you need to pay considerably more if you do).

    That is Quebec, Canada for you.
  • Babymomakell
    Babymomakell Posts: 257 Member
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    I have a weird situation...

    I was born with my father's surname, and he ended up disappearing at age 6. I remember how much of a hassle it was for my mom to have to explain EVERY TIME she met someone from school or dance or whatever it was that I was into at the time, that she was my mother... or correct them when people called her by Mrs "wrong name".

    I never felt connected to my surname as a child, and I wanted to have the same name as the rest of my family (mother's maiden name). So when I was 18 I changed my surname with the blessing of my family.

    In 2007 when my daughter was born, I was unmarried, and after a breakup with baby-daddy, I decided to give my daughter my surname so that we will match and she will feel happy to be apart of her family (baby daddy and his family have no contact with us).

    Skip forward five years... I have been in a relationship for three years, and he knows full-well that if and when I do get married, I will not change my name. I may hyphen it for social reasons, but I want to share my surname with my child. Also, I hope that whomever I do marry will understand that I plan to give any future children BOTH last names.

    So, yeah.... do whats right for YOU! =)
  • susan2396
    susan2396 Posts: 794 Member
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    Like many, I kept it because of my son. Plus, to me a name is just a name and doesn't define who I am. Heck, why not just go with Susan like Madonna, Cher, etc. . . LOL!!!
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
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    My husband's ex has kept his last name too and it pi**ses me off! When she walked away from the marriage, she walked away from the name. I couldn't give a *kitten* that she wants the same last name as the kids - that's the choice she made when walked out!
    (Sorry - this subject is close to my heart)!!

    you could easily be my ex's new wife... and i say to f-ing bad. I didn't walk away from the marriage, but i got to the point where after 2 marriage counselors i finally cried "uncle". Funnier still, everything he wasn't willing to do to save our marriage, he IS willing to do to keep his new marriage afloat.
    What is your point?? No relevance then is there since my husbands ex wife walked out.
  • MandaPaigeSparkles88
    MandaPaigeSparkles88 Posts: 1,289 Member
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    Well I have been divorced for at lease 2 years plus and I have my ex husband's last name. The reason why I don't go back to my maiden name is because it costs money to have your name changed and that's money I simply don't have right at the moment to change it back. I wish I would have never took his name when I got married but I can't go back and do it over again, So I am stuck with his name till I get the money to change it back.

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