Bachelor Party

The irony is that I see women complaining about their husbands/boyfriends looking at porn or going to a strip club, and then they hop off the computer and go open their copy of Fifty Shades of Grey... Women tend to prefer porn in the written form, whereas guys prefer visuals. But it's all porn, folks.

All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.

I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.

A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?

For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc

What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...

And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:

Yup, not all dancers are skanks. And what you can get at home "for free" Usually isn't as sexy or coordinated. It takes a LOT of strength and endurance to dance like that. This isn't a ballet that is scripted. This isn't the club dance floor. Your are dancing and entertaining a different set of clients every time you're there with what ever music the DJ decides what to throw your way.
Most dancers are college students or single mom trying to get by.

All of us just went out to the bar before we got married.

I don't like strip clubs. Nothing about them turns me on. I don't like slutty girls and its just an environment that is annoying to me. I know I am in the minority here, but oh well.

A lot of other guys are in that boat...contrary to popular opinion, not all men enjoy watching skanks take their clothes off...why watch that when you have a gorgeous woman at home that will do it for free?

For your information not all women who are dancers are "skanks", that's like characterizing all doctors as "smart"....these dancers, me being an ex-dancer, have families, have children, have mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters...and there are very classy adult entertainment establishments out there. There are also many men that come to the clubs because the "gorgeous woman" that he married is no longer the same woman..no longer wants to participate in being intimate with him like she used to..no longer dresses sexy for her husband..."I'm tired" "I don't feel like it" "I'm not in the mood tonight"...etc

What it boils down to is a fantasy....the men know their not leaving with the dancers, and "us" dancers sure as heck do not want to leave with your SO...

And there are a lot of men that do come into the club with their wives and girlfriends, and they enjoy it just as much as the men do, if not more :drinker:

Yup, not all dancers are skanks. And what you can get at home "for free" Usually isn't as sexy or coordinated. It takes a LOT of strength and endurance to dance like that. This isn't a ballet that is scripted. This isn't the club dance floor. Your are dancing and entertaining a different set of clients every time you're there with what ever music the DJ decides what to throw your way.
Most dancers are college students or single mom trying to get by.

Perhaps, but you then get to sleep with that uncoordinated person...and is it really worth it to hurt the other person that you will be sleeping with until death (or more likely divorce, statistically speaking) separates you ? All for the sake of a couple hours of entertainment?

Huh? Where did you get this leap? Can you point out where I said people should go to a strip club regardless of what your SO feels.
To categorically say all strippers are skanks, or slutty is quite wrong. You guys know they keep their panties on, right?

I'm ok with porn, I'm ok with strip clubs... but that book? It sucked and the ending was crappy.

I'll paraphrase Dan Savage here, because I think it applies: "If you ask your boyfriend or husband if he looks at porn and he tells you he doesn't, he is lying so that he doesn't hurt your feelings. If you don't want to be disappointed or upset, BELIEVE HIM. Almost all males look at porn. That doesn't mean they're all going to cheat on you; most men don't. But almost EVERY GUY looks at porn."

The irony is that I see women complaining about their husbands/boyfriends looking at porn or going to a strip club, and then they hop off the computer and go open their copy of Fifty Shades of Grey... Women tend to prefer porn in the written form, whereas guys prefer visuals. But it's all porn, folks.

Your fiance is probably going to go watch some naked girls, and maybe get a lap dance or two. But it's incredibly unlikely that he's going to get laid or blown by a stripper. It's less common than urban legends would have you believe. To quote the wise words of the Chris Rock song, "There is no sex in the Champagne Room. NONE."

http://youtu.be/j9yBPcn8IqU

My advice is to let him go to the strip club, and to do so with your blessing. If you tell him not to, he'll either skip it and resent you for being a killjoy, or he'll go anyway and just tell you what you want to hear. Same thing applies to porn. If you prohibit it he'll just look at it behind your back and feel resentful about it, whereas if you say "Go for it, just save some lovin' for me!" he'll think you're the best wife ever and brag to his friends about you. And in neither case will you saying "yes" or "no" make it more or less likely that he'll actually cheat on you with someone. If anything, being an cool, understanding wife about porn may have him feeling pretty damn good about the relationship.

Of course it goes without saying that getting in shape, putting on some shiny lipstick and giving him a private lap dance at home will remind him that if he ever thinks about having a tawdry one-night stand with some hot stripper, he can call ahead and do that at home with you.

Good luck, and have a great wedding!

Perhaps, but you then get to sleep with that uncoordinated person...and is it really worth it to hurt the other person that you will be sleeping with until death (or more likely divorce, statistically speaking) separates you ? All for the sake of a couple hours of entertainment?

Here's how I think - I wouldn't want my boyfriend/husband/fiance to go to a strip club. I think they're degrading and was raised by my parents to think that they weren't for people of class. So I think it says a lot about a person's values in life if they desire to go to such a place.

That's a lot of judgement right there.

That's a lot of judgement right there.

The commodification of human bodies is dehumanizing and offensive: let's face it--a patron is paying for a woman’s body--not for her personality, interests, desires, wit or any other trait which makes her an individual, but for her body, which he then symbolically owns and can do with whatever he wishes. That this dehumanization seems to be the prevailing argument in favour of stripclub attendence as healthy and harmless entertainment is super disheartening. Strippers are actual women who, in turn are actual people. Crazy, right?

The further idea that the sexual enjoyment of the degrading objectification of women is only natural (and, therefore, okay) is equally repugnant. It's not natural (no one is born lusting after spray tans and surgically enhanced secondary sexual characteristics--these attractions develop as a result of conditioning), and it's inherently wrong.


“Just because you get an erection when you see a woman being objectified onscreen doesn’t mean women deserve to be objectified.”

http://feministcurrent.com/4248/can-i-get-a-fk-you-why-erections-are-always-right-and-feminists-are-always-wrong/

The commodification of human bodies is dehumanizing and offensive: let's face it--a patron is paying for a woman’s body--not for her personality, interests, desires, wit or any other trait which makes her an individual, but for her body, which he then symbolically owns and can do with whatever he wishes. That this dehumanization seems to be the prevailing argument in favour of stripclub attendence as healthy and harmless entertainment is super disheartening. Strippers are actual women who, in turn are actual people. Crazy, right?

The further idea that the sexual enjoyment of the degrading objectification of women is only natural (and, therefore, okay) is equally repugnant. It's not natural (no one is born lusting after spray tans and surgically enhanced secondary sexual characteristics--these attractions develop as a result of conditioning), and it's inherently wrong.


“Just because you get an erection when you see a woman being objectified onscreen doesn’t mean women deserve to be objectified.”

http://feministcurrent.com/4248/can-i-get-a-fk-you-why-erections-are-always-right-and-feminists-are-always-wrong/

Wow... I pity the guy who you're in a relationship with... Holy sh**... You claim to want equal ground... but just your tone suggests you want dominance. How is it any different than what you describe here??? Sexuality is a part of being human...

So then pretty much half the board in here have questionable values? Nice.

Hey, it's her call on how she wants to live her life, and what she thinks is wrong. As long as she's not trying to outlaw strip clubs or have cops writing tickets for showing your ankles in public, I'm fine with her living her life however she likes. That's what tolerance is all about: I disagree with her viewpoint, but I can tolerate it in the interests of civility. She may think that we're all slatterns and trollops who are going to straight to Hell, but as long as she can tolerate us in the interests of civility, it's all good. It's only when we try to silence her religious views, or she tries to outlaw our lifestyles, that we cross the line into intolerance and incivility, and society starts falling apart. We don't have to like each other in this big country of ours, but we should try to grit our teeth and tolerate each other.

Sorry for my little civics lecture! It's just that as a godless commie liberal, I value everyone's right to believe and express whatever viewpoint they feel is "true", even if it's completely the opposite of mine.

Here's how I think - I wouldn't want my boyfriend/husband/fiance to go to a strip club. I think they're degrading and was raised by my parents to think that they weren't for people of class. So I think it says a lot about a person's values in life if they desire to go to such a place.

That's a lot of judgement right there.

As I said, it was how I was raised. I never said it was right, but that value has been instilled in me for life. I also don't believe in children/intercourse before marriage. I'm old-fashioned, what can I say? At least the people back in the 1800s didn't hide that they were objectifying women.

Here's how I think - I wouldn't want my boyfriend/husband/fiance to go to a strip club. I think they're degrading and was raised by my parents to think that they weren't for people of class. So I think it says a lot about a person's values in life if they desire to go to such a place.

That's a lot of judgement right there.

As I said, it was how I was raised. I never said it was right, but that value has been instilled in me for life. I also don't believe in children/intercourse before marriage. I'm old-fashioned, what can I say? At least the people back in the 1800s didn't hide that they were objectifying women.

They just straight out made sure women had no rights at all in the 1800's. If you want to be old fashion and follow the 1800s then you might as well kiss good bye to education, voting, credit cards, loans, choosing to have a professional career like men were able too and much more.

If she simply said "oh, I disagree with x, y, & z. Not a problem. But her point is "your values are questionable..." as in, you are wrong to believe this. I don't care if people like or dislike strip clubs. But to question your morals over it? ridiculous.