MFP and disturbing posts

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  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I think a lot of people don't actually look at the food diary so when they see "completed food diary and was under calorie goal" they just post "awesome!" regardless of what someone ate for the day.

    I suspect that this is true for 99% of the "awesome!"s that are posted.

    I've lowered my number of friends so that I can actually comment constructively to them and no longer do this myself.

    I can be a better supporter of 30 people than I can to 60.

    It doesn't help that the iPhone app is still broken preventing people from seeing food diary details if the meal names have been changed.
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
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    Personal Weight Loss Arithmetic
    I have been eating 1200 calories per day (often less, seldom more) for 140 days. I can’t exercise for physical reasons.
    I’ve lost 13 pounds, which averages out to a loss of one pound per 10.77 days.
    As we all know, one pound equals 3500 calories.
    3500 calories divided by 10.77 days = a 325 calorie deficit per day.
    If I add the 325-calorie deficit to the 1200 calories I’m consuming it equals 1525 calories.
    Evidently, I need 1525 calories per day for maintenance of my current weight, which is 40 pounds overweight.
    Conclusion: if I want to lose one pound a week -- which requires a 500-calorie per day deficit -- I need to limit my intake to 1025 calories per day.
    That's fine if 100% of your deficit is coming from calorie restriction. However, if you are engaging in exercise on top of eating 500 calories less, then you need to add that to your deficit.
  • SuperstarDJ
    SuperstarDJ Posts: 440 Member
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    I don't understand this. I was anorexic, but I would have been "padding" my diary with calories to make people think I HAD eaten. It was a bad thing that I wasn't, I hid that fact as much as possible. The breed that tends to display the fact that they are eating nothing seems like a totally different, attention seeking breed to me... and I just don't even know what to think of it, honestly.
    ^^This^^

    I keep my diary locked because I am so ashamed of what I eat and the quantities. I spoke about this on another post yesterday but, from my experience, most people who are "pro ana" are NOT anorexic, and most people who are actually anorexic are appalled by the "pro ana" culture. I can't understand why anybody who is anorexic would need encouragement to starve - that's as crazy as an alcoholic needing help and encouragement to drink! Starving myself is the easy bit - eating is the challenge.

    I was/am anorexic. I believed, up until last Thursday, that I was 100% recovered. My husband and work colleagues kept commenting on how thin I'd become lately and begged me to eat more. I didn't trust them though - my disease told me that they were lying, begging me to eat as a preventative measure: so I wouldn't *eventually* become too thin. I honestly believed I looked fine. I could see bones sticking out but I could also 'see' that my legs and stomach were too fat (in my head anyway).

    Last Thursday, after toying with the idea for a few weeks, I plucked up the courage to post some pictures here to get some objective opinions and I was shocked by the response. I have since had the moderators remove the post (thank you guys!) but there were 11 pages - about 275 posts - of people telling me that I was "sickly", "way too thin" etc., etc. I figure that 200+ people cannot be lying to me so I started to accept last Thursday that I have in fact relapsed and need to do something about it.

    It was MFP that made me see this. Had I not put those pics up, I'd still be sitting here thinking, "nah, I'm fine". I've suffered with anorexia for 20+ years and I am not sure I would survive another round with this monster (my heart, bones, kidneys, digestive system have all been affected).

    I would like to say thank you to MFP for this and especially those who've been a massive source of support to me since Thursday. So before y'all write off ED sufferers from the site, please be aware that it can do so much to help us - provided it's used in the right way. I think those who claim to be eating 300 kcals and encouraging others to do so should be automatically banned, or 3 strikes and you're out. I would never, ever want anyone to go through this nightmare.
  • blonde71
    blonde71 Posts: 955 Member
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    I deleted several friends due to their pro-ana ways. I just cannot support that. I felt it was best to part ways.
  • AliceNov2011
    AliceNov2011 Posts: 471 Member
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    @Tag9 -- My personal observation in the 9 months I've been active is that when I drop below 1,200 calories for a week or more (I use weekly averages), it tends to send me into a stall that lasts 3-4 weeks. When I eat 1,150-1,300 calories reliably, the weight keeps coming off @ 1.5 lbs/week.

    So there may need to be an asterisk in that math calculation... ;c)
  • RawVeganFlirt
    RawVeganFlirt Posts: 189 Member
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    i feel the same way. i either comment and make sure they know the dangers of eating so low, or i delete them if it's a constant thing or "pro-ana".

    MFP is not a place for eating disorders , i came on here to inspire me to eat MORE, i see people eating 2000 calories and doing great and it reminds me daily that hey, its okay to eat, i'll be fine.

    seems like there are too many teenagers coming on here hoping for people to give them the "secret" to losing weight and when they realize there isnt one, they cut their calories below 1000 and exercise like crazy. i'm so sick of it! it's very triggering for someone who's recovering.
  • LisaWilson2012
    LisaWilson2012 Posts: 118 Member
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    Slow and steady wins the race ;)

    ....and you stay a winner after the race has finished...
  • xPocahontas
    xPocahontas Posts: 40
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    You have to remember that (most) didn't choose this, it's a mental disorder for the ones being so insinsitve. I agree with the saying "good job" when a person "fast" aka starves themselves and burns 1000 is supporting slow suicide. Unfortantly, I have been exposed to this community where I thought people saying "great job" meant I was doing great and I got lower and lower to the point where I was eating 50 calories a day and burning 500+. The site made my eating disorder worse in a way. I am now recovering though eating 1000+ calories a day and happier! Im so glad I got out of this cycle. I also find it very triggering when I see girls asking for tips and people actually giving them tips telling them to eat 500 calories a day. I hate pro anorexia
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
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    I'm hoping to find some common ground with POSITIVE people by posting this. And I'm going to say right now that I have nothing against those with an ED being on this site, seeing as I have struggled with one before as well.
    MFP is here to help those wanting to get healthy and lose weight the right way. I am finding it appalling to see so many people losing weight in an unhealthy manner and having people congratulate them. I have had to "unfriend" several members due to the fact that they posted about being "fat" constantly (when they had about 5lbs to lose each). They also posted unhealthy "tips" to lose weight and would stay at about half of their 1,200 calorie a day limit. I understand we are all different, we all lose weight and exercise in different ways and we sure all have different views on food. I don't however think it's appropriate to tell someone "good job" after eating 300 calories for the day after burning 1,000. What happened to positive criticism and support? It is not healthy to eat that little and exercise that much! Good for you if you were under your calories, however don't congratulate someone for not eating that day. It's condoning ED's and again, appalling, especially for those recovering. I am seeking POSITIVE friends and could certainly offer much support, I will not however, tolerate any sort of ED behavior. If you are recovering, such as I am....GOOD FOR YOU! If you are seeking approval for your unhealthy habits and are not looking to improve your life and unhappy habits...well, they instead of posting on MFP you should seek professional, nutritional help.


    End of rant! I'm sure I can't be the only one who is feeling this frustration...
    And btw I'd love to add some new friends who i can support and who can support me on this positive life change :)


    Very well said. As a person who dealt with an ED for over 15 years and am still prone to the urges, I commend you for posting this. I don't want to be encouraged for doing what I know is unhealthy. Thanks!
  • tobnrn
    tobnrn Posts: 477 Member
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    I congratulate those people when they have a good/healthy eating day. I will compliment their food choices on those days (well, as long as it wasn't double bacon cheeseburgers) and tell them how great they are doing.

    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?
  • M08distel
    M08distel Posts: 16 Member
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    I try to stay below my caloric goal for each day simply because I have had a gastric bypass and really cannot eat as much as the site suggests. I do try to stay at least 1000 calories a day, but sometimes for me that is pushing it. Then occasionally, I do go over but it isn't about quantity of food just calories. Still a work in progress. I have never had an ED unless overeating is considered one.
  • LyssaJ1
    LyssaJ1 Posts: 240 Member
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    Slow and steady wins the race ;)

    ....and you stay a winner after the race has finished...

    ^^ This is why I will continue to be active on MFP even after I reach my goal weight, to keep me on the right track :smile:
  • Caz104
    Caz104 Posts: 62 Member
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    I'm VERY new to this site but appreciate your post.

    Earlier this morning I was browsing through some posts and I saw one from a young girl who, to me, looked perfect before she lost weight. She posted a photo of her after she had lost weight and looked incredibly unhealthy. I believe her boyfriend was a huge factor in her loosing the weight.

    I am all about getting tips and advice for eating healthier and staying (reasonably) below my calories for the day but for those with an ED this is not the forum they need.

    Welcoming any friend requests since I have none yet!

    :)
  • WillowBreeze
    WillowBreeze Posts: 102
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    I tend not to add people without EDs/people who are recovering for this very reason - I am not recovered and wouldn't want to trigger anyone who is trying to recover. But the ED community on here is supportive, telling others with a low intake or too much exercise or purging behaviors to "stay safe," which to us means, "I know I can't stop you from doing what you want, even though I wish I could, but please be as healthy as possible." That's at the very least. No one that I have encountered tells anyone else anything particularly unhealthy. There are a few here and there, but typically they're thought of as drama queens and wanarexics. It's all about finding people who understand. EDs are very lonely.

    And I'm sure that no one with an ED is "misinformed" about health and weight loss. I certainly know that what I have done to my body in the past (and still do to a lesser extent) is NOT healthy. I don't think any of us are that delusional.

    All in all, it's not about "condoning" someone's behavior. I've found myself improving in terms of healthy behaviors since joining this site. But it's slow going. Definitely not something anyone can just "snap out" of.

    What does make me sad is the really young girls with EDs who lied about their age to sign up. I've seen more than a few girls get removed for their age, and I worry for them. They should be enjoying life, not trying to commit a slow suicide.




    I can't agree more. Very well put. People with eating disorders most often are not mis informed, we study this like our life depends on it. It's an addiction, something that I for one no longer want to participate in but you're right, it's a slow and gruelling process to drag yourself back out of those very dark waters.
  • jjscholar
    jjscholar Posts: 413 Member
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    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?
    [/quote]

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
  • tobnrn
    tobnrn Posts: 477 Member
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    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
    [/quote]

    Really?? What are your sources??
  • skonly
    skonly Posts: 371
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    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
    [/quote]

    I had to cut red meat out. I started getting sick from it.

    A lot of people have jumped all over me based on my calories and then shut up pretty quick when they saw how much I was actually eating. Sometimes it helps to learn a few facts before assuming something. I do see a lot of pics on here of young girls that look sick. Some are working at trying to eat more and in recovery. I try not to judge too much. If a person is all over the place looking for tips and tricks to avoid calories then I see a problem. But I don't jump to conclusions. I just added a person with a rare disease who is trying to start eating more and just got out of the hospital. It's a shame she was jumped on by people who looked at her diary and didn't bother to read her profile or simply ask if she was okay.

    I judge people by their responses. Anyone who says....YOU ARE STUPID to another is someone I will now block. If you have to use all caps and say stuff like that then maybe you need an anger management forum to hang out in.

    People respond to kindness and gentle words better than name calling.
  • jlgarcia85631
    jlgarcia85631 Posts: 57 Member
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    feel the same way.
  • camelothosting
    camelothosting Posts: 60 Member
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    Whats wrong with bacon double cheeseburgers?

    They are as addictive as crack cocaine... Eating red meat is far more dangerous than even anorexia...

    I do not believe in becoming too thin... But, on the other hand eating red meat is never healthy...
    [/quote]
    You may want to do some more research, LEAN red meat isnt as unhealthy as you imply,
    BEEF Jerky is a healthy snack ( Home Made Low Sodium Jerky that is )
  • hillm12345
    hillm12345 Posts: 313 Member
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    I'm VERY new to this site but appreciate your post.

    Earlier this morning I was browsing through some posts and I saw one from a young girl who, to me, looked perfect before she lost weight. She posted a photo of her after she had lost weight and looked incredibly unhealthy. I believe her boyfriend was a huge factor in her loosing the weight.

    I am all about getting tips and advice for eating healthier and staying (reasonably) below my calories for the day but for those with an ED this is not the forum they need.

    Welcoming any friend requests since I have none yet!

    :)

    I too saw that same post.... staying within the topic of this post, I was very pleased to see the number of responses telling this young girl that she looked better with a little more weight.. Of course there were multiple suggests for weight training and toning, but a majority of the support was to be healthy even if that meant not being the skinniest.

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