"I don't want to be too thin" - a "fat" people thing to say?

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  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    But you have people saying fat people don't want to be "too" thin because, "I'm pretty sure its because they are lazy and don't like to work hard at anything." There is so much hypocrisy on this thread and this site, it makes me crazy!

    Who cares what another person wants to look like whether it's your preference or not. If they are healthy then keep your opinion to yourselves. Don't assume someone is unhealthy because they look too thin or too big.

    Yeah there have been a couple of really ignorant, stupid comments in this thread (perhaps an attempt at trolling) but I haven't seen one instance where a person calls another "too fat". You're choosing to get upset at one poster because you don't like something society does in general. I just found your comment to be an unfair strawman attack.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Someone else pointed this out, and I'm jumping on it. When women say they don't want to "lose their curves" and get "too thin," I think it's because "curves" are the only things they felt positive about for their body image. The big boobs or butt than their men loved? Those are at risk of disappearing, even though overall appearance would improve.

    It's like priding yourself on your long hair--sure, it gets matted easily, snarly, and may be in horrible health... but it's so long, and someone liked it! So when you lose weight, and the boobs and butt go quickly... yeah, you were overweight, those boobs and butt were contributing to an unhealthy weight.... but someone liked it!
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 928 Member
    i can honestly say i've never said this. However my goal was never to be "skinny" but to be tight and fit. after having a baby my body was never "over weight" but was definately flabby and out of shape.
  • Terree83
    Terree83 Posts: 93
    I have said this before.. because I have been "too thin" before!

    Back when I started college, everyone was talking about gaining the "freshman 15" and I was terrified to do that. I played 2 sports in college and burned more than enough calories, but was so freaked out at the possibility of gaining weight, that I hardly took in any calories. I ended up looking like a stick figure with muscles, and a really big head. I am 6'1, and weighed 130lbs. I looked disgusting because I was "too thin".

    I definitely took it to extremes, but I do think there is such a thing as too thin. I think it's important to not focus on how "thin" you are, but more how healthy you are. I know tons of people that are "thin" and eat horribly!
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Shakira+%25283%2529.jpg
    How I want to look.

    olivia-wilde-gq-08.jpg
    What I would consider too thin.

    I think both ladies are healthy and they both look great, I just like the first one better. I don't really have any explanation for it beyond preference. *shrug*

    I can't view the second picture at work, but the lady on the top picture is too skinny in my opinion.
  • I can't wrap my mind around "too thin." :ohwell:
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    for my height 150 is high on the normal range, I don't even want to be that. I'm shooting for 200 lbs or so although I haven't really decided as of yet, but can't see me at 150. 200 is still over weight but I think I'll be good with that. But you know your perceptive changes the smaller you get, which is why I have not picked a goal weight as of yet.
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
    I don't understand why fat people feel they are allowed to tell healthy people they are 'too thin'.

    Well first off, thin does not = healthy. I have plenty of friends who are what one would consider thin but it's due to high metabolisms. I am much larger but much more active and in shape than any of them. When we do anything active they are the one's who want to quit because they are tired and used to being lazy.

    So it''s ok for a thin person to tell a fat person they are too big?

    I agree.

    After 5 pages I still don't understand why so much effort is being put into trying to find the malice in a statement that would have been considered a brave declaration if said in reverse.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    "too" thin is different from "thin" ... seems to me that this is still a topic that objectifies people in such a way to allow themselves opportunity to hate on fat & thin people without feeling like a jerk.

    most people just want to be a healthy size. too thin to me is unattractive, but what is "too thin"? it is not a number. it varies on so many factors that it is just something you see.

    young women (teenage to early 20s) might be "too thin" for a 40 year old because their bodies haven't fully developed. that doesn't necessarily make them unhealthy. a young woman or man can be "too thin" by my eyes, but have not done anything to do so. they just have to wait to "fill out"

    too thin, for me, is a person that looks too thin. that's not the same as being thin.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Someone else pointed this out, and I'm jumping on it. When women say they don't want to "lose their curves" and get "too thin," I think it's because "curves" are the only things they felt positive about for their body image. The big boobs or butt than their men loved? Those are at risk of disappearing, even though overall appearance would improve.

    It's like priding yourself on your long hair--sure, it gets matted easily, snarly, and may be in horrible health... but it's so long, and someone liked it! So when you lose weight, and the boobs and butt go quickly... yeah, you were overweight, those boobs and butt were contributing to an unhealthy weight.... but someone liked it!

    I would say "NOT TRUE!" My best feature has always been my eyes. When I was weighing 135, it was my legs, but my hips have been curvy since I was 12. Curvy is a shape, not a size.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    I don't understand why fat people feel they are allowed to tell healthy people they are 'too thin'.

    if it is a friend of mine, i may say something depending on the motivation behind losing weight. i once had a friend of mine tell me he was worried about me because i was getting too big. i can't thank him enough for loving me enough to say something. it's hard for us to see it in ourselves.

    i've never suffered from a super low self-esteem. here i've lost well over 70lbs since that talk and i don't look any different to my own eyes than i did back then. well, maybe a little in the face.

    so if you have a friend telling you something, you may want to listen.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    Hi!

    Just something I overheard the other day that got me thinking. Usually larger people saying that they don't want to be "too thin" or "skinny".

    In my opinion both of those terms are relative so one person views skinny as 5'5 110lbs person and another may say that the 5'5 girl is skinny at 120.

    So when you say "I don't want to be skinny/too thin" what are you implying? Are you saying you don't find thin attractive or are you simply saying it because you don't believe you can reach a certain weight or is it just an excuse? Like you're heavy and you'd probably like to be that weight but are too lazy to actually work for it?

    I don't mean to offend anyone. When I say I don't want to be skinny I mean under 120 (I'm 5'4) and at that weight I have hip bones jutting out and don't look healthy in my eyes.

    In most cases, I don't think it means any specific weight. I think people usually mean they don't want to be so thin that they look unhealthy at the other end of the spectrum. Also, it's a way to say, "I'm not going to set unrealistic goals for myself." Not everyone has the body type of a runway model. When I say that, I simply mean, "I've been healthy and athletic before. I know what my best weight/BF% is, and it's not less than 135lbs." I can't speak for everyone who says, "I don't want to be too thin." I can only speak for myself. However, in my experience, it's rarely an excuse to stay fat because most people who say it do acknowledge the fact that they need to lose weight.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member

    "Curvy" is a body shape, not a size. There is a difference between being overweight and having curves. If you are a pear or an hourglass, you will have curves at any weight.

    You are very right. I am somewhere between a pear and an hour glass shape I think... wide set hips, small waist, and medium/average bust. I have curves and I know I'll always have them. That's just how my body was built. :)

    Exactly. I'm an almost perfect hourglass and I have curves no matter my size. I had them when I was 102 pounds and I have them now.

    Obviously, there is a point where a person IS too skinny. If you are a woman and you stop having a period, you've lost too much weight. There should be SOME fat and muscle on the body and I totally get that everyone has a preferred size and a place where they are most happy with their shapes. But I hear women who are 400 or 500 pounds refer to themselves as "curvy." Those are not curves.

    I'm 5'3" and my goal is 115. I'll reevaluate then, or possibly before then, but I don't think that is too skinny for me. (And I will still have curves.)

    Jumping off of this, and going back to the curve thing (since as an hourglass ratio of .7, it pisses me off when "curvy" becomes PC for overweight/fat... because when I get described as "curvy," guess what I think people are calling me?)... Hourglass IS hourglass. When I was VERY thin (I was 95 lbs and 5'6" and dealing with an eating disorder for a large portion of my life), the smallest size pants I wore were... 5. That's SMALL, but I couldn't have fit into any size smaller jean if I tried. A size 0 or 00? I believe my BMI at the time was 16. My bones and stature had me with thin waist, but still boobs and hips/butt. (And imagine my perception at the time... "too thin" meant size 0/00. Though people OFTEN commented on how skinny I was, to me, being a size 5 at the time made me feel like I was fat).

    Like I said earlier... women who may not truly have hourglasses fear the loss of these more "feminine" features.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    I'm pretty sure its because they are lazy and don't like to work hard at anything.

    I'm pretty sure your wrong on so many levels. This is the most ridiculous comment made on these forums to date.
  • GaidenJade
    GaidenJade Posts: 171
    I don't understand why fat people feel they are allowed to tell healthy people they are 'too thin'.

    :noway: I don't understand why people who are at a healthy weight feel they have a right to tell "fat" people they need to lose. Though I find that usually people embittered against "fat" people are unhealthy or have an ED....so I can't say one way or another. You may just be rude and ignorant.

    Losing weight and becoming healthier is a personal journey. But everyone has an opinion and unless you want to staple everyone's mouths shut. (and sometimes I wish I could) then deal with it. Life lesson.


    As for me. Yes I have said I don't want to be too thin, because I am a large framed girl who has always been proud of my Viking-ish look. Okay I want to lose most of my fat so that all my muscle can shine through, but I don't want to lose it all. In my frame of mind a thicker body with muscle is way more attractive................................. and my husband, who is a large viking-ish man..... agrees.

    Maybe I will change my mind one day and want to be more tone and lose more of my body fat %.....but as of now. I want to be healthy, strong and not too thin.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I usually think the "too skinny" women look so hot. Intend to think its jealousy more than anything. It seem unattainable so they just say they don't want that. Kind of like you know you'll never be a multi millionaire, so you just say you'd never want to be wealthy. Too much hassle. Lol.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Someone else pointed this out, and I'm jumping on it. When women say they don't want to "lose their curves" and get "too thin," I think it's because "curves" are the only things they felt positive about for their body image. The big boobs or butt than their men loved? Those are at risk of disappearing, even though overall appearance would improve.

    It's like priding yourself on your long hair--sure, it gets matted easily, snarly, and may be in horrible health... but it's so long, and someone liked it! So when you lose weight, and the boobs and butt go quickly... yeah, you were overweight, those boobs and butt were contributing to an unhealthy weight.... but someone liked it!

    I would say "NOT TRUE!" My best feature has always been my eyes. When I was weighing 135, it was my legs, but my hips have been curvy since I was 12. Curvy is a shape, not a size.

    Lol, do you not understand "examples." The topic is, "Why do people say this/feel this?" Clearly you're not in that demographic if you weren't saying, "Wow, I don't want to be too thin, because I have great eyes." Reading comprehension & context: you're doing it wrong. Nice job reading other posts, too!
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
    For me, I think it's because I have been overweight my whole life. I think I would look kind of silly if I got down to 120-130. I also have a large frame, so even if I was 120-130, that would classify me as being underweight. For my height and frame size, an ideal size for me is 150. I personally would like to be around 170-180 which would be 120+ pounds less than my heaviest weight.

    And furthermore, as someone who also likes women, I don't find "skinny" women all that attractive. I think the smallest woman I have ever been with was like 140, and granted, she was fun, but I just personally find more of the plus size women attractive. I like breasts and butts and the women I have been with who have been under 200 pounds just don't have enough breasts and butts for me. I have a pretty strict 250 pound limit though... however, there was one girl I met who was jeez... probably 320 pounds. Maybe a little more. But she was like 6'1''. She was an Amazon... just a big, solid woman and she was hands down one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen in my life. How I wanted to climb her.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I don't understand why fat people feel they are allowed to tell healthy people they are 'too thin'.

    if it is a friend of mine, i may say something depending on the motivation behind losing weight. i once had a friend of mine tell me he was worried about me because i was getting too big. i can't thank him enough for loving me enough to say something. it's hard for us to see it in ourselves.

    i've never suffered from a super low self-esteem. here i've lost well over 70lbs since that talk and i don't look any different to my own eyes than i did back then. well, maybe a little in the face.

    so if you have a friend telling you something, you may want to listen.

    My own mother accused me of being anorexic when I weighed 132 pounds at 5'3" and was most definitely eating plenty. I still had flab on my body that clothing covered. And 132 pounds for me was a high weight compared to what I had been most of my life. I just had gained about 30 pounds over the course of a year and then lost it, so she had last seen me at a size 12 and now I was a size 6, so that equated to "too thin" to her because it was a large change.

    Friends/family are not always right.
  • head_in_rainbows
    head_in_rainbows Posts: 290 Member

    "Curvy" is a body shape, not a size. There is a difference between being overweight and having curves. If you are a pear or an hourglass, you will have curves at any weight.

    You are very right. I am somewhere between a pear and an hour glass shape I think... wide set hips, small waist, and medium/average bust. I have curves and I know I'll always have them. That's just how my body was built. :)



    simply this!
  • caitlin7777
    caitlin7777 Posts: 1 Member
    I would love to be too thin! that is a problem i could fix easily!!
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member

    What I would consider too thin.

    I think both ladies are healthy and they both look great, I just like the first one better. I don't really have any explanation for it beyond preference. *shrug*

    I can't view the second picture at work, but the lady on the top picture is too skinny in my opinion.

    "The lady"?! THAT'S SHAKIRA.
  • PinkEnvyx
    PinkEnvyx Posts: 172
    I would never say I don’t want to be too fat either.

    I don’t know why anyone would say I don’t want to be too thin personally as if to say they accomplished it at one time and know what it looks like on them.

    I experienced it when I had pneumonia and I don’t want to look that thin or sick again but still even so I would never say I don’t want to be too thin and if I did I would probably get the you’re a ***** look from others working hard to lose weight currently or suffering from a ED. It is just insensitive and unnecessary.
  • I don't want to be skinny! I want to be curvy and toned. When I drop below 140, I start to lose my breast and hips. For me those things are essential. I am too heavy now but at 130 I am too thin for my taste even though it might not be skinny in everyones opinion. Personally, I get the most compliments around 145.
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
    I think when I said it, I meant that I didn't want to lose the majority of the fat in my breasts or rear. That was then, this is now...and I'm fine with both being reduced. lol
  • dreamsofescaping
    dreamsofescaping Posts: 206 Member
    After reading some of the posts here I decided to edit my response.

    I know quite a few thin people who sure have a lazy bone in their body do I judge ALL thin people based on the ones I know and assume all thin people are lazy? NO... Why? Because we are all individuals and make individual choices no matter what gender, race, size of body, religion etc. You should not judge everyone based on individuals.
  • bbriscoe13
    bbriscoe13 Posts: 175 Member
    I honestly thought I couldn't be super skinny...I still feel that. I am 5'2 and have always had a butt and big thighs. In high school I was a size 8 and thought that was fine, now I am a size 4 and I never thought I could get there. Hoping to be a little smaller, but I know, in my eyes, I will never be "skinny". I agree with you, I think when people say that they just don;t think they can be skinny or thin...they don;t want to set themselves up for disappointment. My mom lost a lot of weight and people at her work kpet telling her to stop losing and that she was going to disappear...she is a size 8, she was healthy, but by no means "too thin". I don;t know why people say things like that. I guess they just want everyone to be as miserable as them??
  • head_in_rainbows
    head_in_rainbows Posts: 290 Member
    I don't understand why fat people feel they are allowed to tell healthy people they are 'too thin'.

    Well first off, thin does not = healthy. I have plenty of friends who are what one would consider thin but it's due to high metabolisms. I am much larger but much more active and in shape than any of them. When we do anything active they are the one's who want to quit because they are tired and used to being lazy.

    So it''s ok for a thin person to tell a fat person they are too big?

    It just mean that they are out of shape and not athletic which is not a good thing at all but it does not make them 'too thin' . You can be out of form in any shape.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Feel like it's different for everyone.

    To my family, I was getting "too think" at 140lbs. However, I felt I still had fat to lose and muscle to build.
    How I'm proportioned has changed since having my daughter too. Now I lose weight in my upper body before my lower, but my chest will start to look "boney" and it's a bit deceiving I think.
    When I quit smoking I put back on 10-15lbs....I'm very uncomfortable and my family says I look "healthy" again

    However, the family members who say this are around 5'4/5'5 and 230+ pounds (mom, aunt & grandmother)
    They've all been obese for 20+ years so I feel like their perception of a healthy weight is off, not mine
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
    I don't want to be skinny...and I'm not fat. I want to be fit, strong and healthy!