What gives with the nasty comments about my weight loss?

buckystars
buckystars Posts: 129 Member
in Motivation and Support
My sister said to me just the other day, "You need to lose more weight if you want to be in my wedding." My good friend said to me, in reference to my weight loss, "I need to start working out. I don't want to be the fat one."

Why do people think that because you're losing weight all of a sudden it's okay to say nasty things about your weight? It's like open season on commenting on my weight. I laugh it off but my feelings are bruised. What do you all do when people are thoughtless like that or just plain mean?
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Replies

  • foxymoxeyxo
    foxymoxeyxo Posts: 8 Member
    We call those people "haters." People are just rude & partially jealous. I'm one of those people who's never been timid so comments like that get a smooth attitude from me. People talk to you any kind of way when they know it will hurt your feelings & they know they can get away with it.
  • cristino1985
    cristino1985 Posts: 63 Member
    I'm so sorry your friends and family aren't being more supportive. I would try to focus on how much weight you have lost than have them make you think about how much further you have to go. When I was younger I was bullied because of my weight and it made me turn to food, what I should have done was go for a walk, it really clears my head. Maybe you could try that.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Well, your sister just sounds like a bridezilla.

    As for your friend, she obviously thinks you're looking good and losing weight. Let her use your weight loss as motivation for her own. Why is it a bad thing? You can do it together.
  • asunnysnowman
    asunnysnowman Posts: 56 Member
    Rude of the sister.. the friend, on the other hand, I would take it as a comment. It seems like she was commenting on how well you're doing and how much weight you've lost?

    I can see your points..but silver lining and all.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    A quick reply of "Wow - did you really just say that?" will stop a lot of people in their tracks.
  • clc46226
    clc46226 Posts: 6
    My husband's favorite response, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the poster child for anorexia"....and by no means am I trying to offend anyone here.
  • brandiuntz
    brandiuntz Posts: 2,717 Member
    I forgive them (in my head). Comments like that are a reflection of their insecurity regarding your success.
  • lg3703
    lg3703 Posts: 190
    I'm sort of blunt... well I'm really blunt. I agree- nothing puts people in check of their own stupidity like looking them dead in the eye and asking "really? You just said that to me? You think its ok to say things like that to people?" REALLY?!! If that doesn't work I also like "bite my a**"
  • LesleeBeAlive
    LesleeBeAlive Posts: 504
    A quick reply of "Wow - did you really just say that?" will stop a lot of people in their tracks.
  • stephvaile
    stephvaile Posts: 298
    punch them in the face and say now u got a fat face lol xx
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,131 Member
    What?? I wouldn't even want to be in her wedding then.
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    Call them on it. Say, "ouch, that hurt!"

    I wouldn't agree to be in a wedding if it came with that ultimatum. Either you respect me or you don't.

    Some people don't think before they speak, and the only way they will learn is if you let them know they are being rude.

    Tell them.
  • petechiae
    petechiae Posts: 147 Member
    I get what you mean. The day I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I started going to the gym, the first thing she told me was "Oh! You want to lose weight! Good for you!". Since then, she always comments what I wear or what I eat. For example, she will say "You should do your hair like that, it slims your face!" or, while shopping, "You should definitely buy a XL instead of a L. It won't fit on you". When we have the occasional ice cream, she will mention that this is not good for losing weight. She always has a way to make me feel bad about myself.

    I guess that I got used to it now. Of course it hurts me, but a lot less than it used to. It's hard to give you tips because I'm stuck with the same problem, but I would just use those remarks as fuel for motivation. Show them that you are capable of being healthy and fit. But most importantly, do it for yourself.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    this is why I don't like people and keep to myself....

    jus sayin.
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
    My sister said to me just the other day, "You need to lose more weight if you want to be in my wedding."

    OMG... your sister is a bridezilla... I didn't think there were really brides like that but apparently there are.

    If she were my sister, I'd tell her "you need to be nicer if you want any bridesmaids in your wedding".
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    My mom freaked out the other day saying I was going to break her plastic adorondac chair. Really? I'm not even 200 pounds! I was speachless and moved to a metal chair. I was very hurt.
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
    I don't associate with such people. Pretty simple.
  • morgansmom02
    morgansmom02 Posts: 1,131 Member
    I get what you mean. The day I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I started going to the gym, the first thing she told me was "Oh! You want to lose weight! Good for you!". Since then, she always comments what I wear or what I eat. For example, she will say "You should do your hair like that, it slims your face!" or, while shopping, "You should definitely buy a XL instead of a L. It won't fit on you". When we have the occasional ice cream, she will mention that this is not good for losing weight. She always has a way to make me feel bad about myself.

    I guess that I got used to it now. Of course it hurts me, but a lot less than it used to. It's hard to give you tips because I'm stuck with the same problem, but I would just use those remarks as fuel for motivation. Show them that you are capable of being healthy and fit. But most importantly, do it for yourself.

    Do we have the same mother in law??
  • stephvaile
    stephvaile Posts: 298
    this is why I don't like people and keep to myself....

    jus sayin.

    total agreement
  • fueledbychange
    fueledbychange Posts: 132 Member
    My mom keeps saying these things to me, like 'Has anyone else seen Sam's butt? I think it's lost, I can't find it.' And stuff like that. I think telling ANY girl that she has no butt is an insult, but she knows I kind of take pride in mine.. idk, they're either just jealous or really misinformed!
  • krystina_letitia9
    krystina_letitia9 Posts: 697 Member
    A quick reply of "Wow - did you really just say that?" will stop a lot of people in their tracks.

    THIS. And another person post that your sister sounds like a bridezilla. I agree with that as well.

    I know it's hard, but try to brush the comments off. You're doing it for yourself, so try not to let other people's comments bother you! (Easier said than done at times, but you're heading in a great direction!) :drinker:
  • alexis831
    alexis831 Posts: 469 Member
    Because they are threatened by you... they have low self esteem and a low body image. Because they are selfish and uncaring.
  • HeatherThompson1219
    HeatherThompson1219 Posts: 3
    I am so sorry. Keep doing what you are doing. All that matters is you are getting healthy and making things better for you. Keep up the good work.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Just man up! Why would you let anything anyone else says have an effect on you? You're a grown up, if you're overweight you already know it and some people just have no tact.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    punch them in the face and say now u got a fat face lol xx


    LOL
  • PaveGurl
    PaveGurl Posts: 244 Member
    ugh - I'm dealing with this too.

    I have had friends and famly tell me they "hate me," my partner tell me it's "not fair," and been called a "skinny b!tch" by friends. All in the last week!

    I typically just let it go, but it is hurtful and upsetting. I am working hard to take care of myself - it's not as though it happened by accident.
  • As_Sweet_As_Pea
    As_Sweet_As_Pea Posts: 56 Member
    People only do and say to us what we allow. Stop them dead in their tracks!!
  • stephvaile
    stephvaile Posts: 298
    punch them in the face and say now u got a fat face lol xx


    LOL
    im in a fierce mood today maybe pmt :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Alicia7896
    Alicia7896 Posts: 21
    You know, your sister is your sister. It shouldn't matter what she looks like. If she has that kind of attitude, I'm not sure I'd even want to be in her wedding. Why pay for the dress, shoes, hair, etc etc etc to support someone who puts you down like that? No way.

    I may be in the minority here, but I think your friend was just a little envious of your weight loss, maybe feeling "big" all of a sudden and just made a comment to that effect. I don't think it had anything to do with you, at least not negatively. To me, it seems like she sees you getting thin and doesn't want to be left behind. :) I would take that comment with a grain of salt.
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
    I have a lack of filters when I'm offended, so I would probably say something like, "I'm sure your mother is very proud of your ability to be tactful and diplomatic, but then mothers kind of have to be" Wanna try again?
    Then again I don't have a large group of friends, so I may not be a good resource. :-)

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