"You would be STUNNING if you just lost some weight"

Said to me by a "friend" when I was in grade school - "My mom said you'd be so pretty if you lost some weight." I've carried that comment with me ever since!

Oh yeah. My mom has told me that my whole life.

but they will ALWAYS be stupid.

And everyone knows you can't fix stupid!

I would show them how stunning my fist is when it comes into contact with their face.

Don't focus on this one person. There are people out there that find you stunning now. There are also people who don't find you attractive at all. Everyone has different tastes. Some people are a little rude about their opinions but you have to deal with it.

This ^^^^

I've been there soooo many times I really can't recall. I am a pear-shaped girl and everyone around seems so totally interested in my butt that actually my boyfriends turned kinda... obsessed. 'You'd be AMAZING with a smaller but, honey'. Yeah. And you'd be AMAZING with a brain.

My grandma is the best at these sort of compliments. I have learned from a young age not to take her words personally, because she really doesn't mean them to hurt. Since getting pregnant here is what she has said:
"your legs are getting huge, just like your mother's did when she was pregnant"
"you're too pretty to be fat so you better lose the baby weight. I'll buy you sensa" (<lol)
"You look like you're going to pop"
"That must be a big baby"

The list goes on. I love her to death, but she certainly lacks tact! I don't mind so much because I do know at least she will always be honest!

And unfortunately, it is going to be a big baby!


OP, you are stunning now and you should never forget it!

When I was overweight, my own husband told me this before we married. He said you would look amazing if you lost some weight. When he sees me now at my current weight- he says I would look amazing and have the perfect body if I was really skinny!!!! It's kind of frustrating because I want to lose more weight, but at the same time... I want him to except the way I look right now. Guess I can't please everybody! I'm trying not to get discourage though- I think that's why I been depressed sleeping all day the past few days.

Story of my life...

I hate the concept that this is somehow a backhanded compliment. Guess what? Most people that are overweight probably would look better, stunning even, if they became a more healthy size. Doesn't mean you aren't a beautiful PERSON, doesn't man you don't have a pretty face.... it just means that you have the potential to be healthy, fit, and gorgeous.


Hows about you not give two flying trucks what people say about you and just feel good about you, who you are, what you're doing, and how hard your working to be that healthy, stunning person?


Love,
Fat girl with a pretty face

And for the record I like girls that are not that slim. I like slim girls too but there's something about a woman with a bit more ...

I'm stunning now. Meet Mr. Left Hook, bitc#. *punch*

That's just how I roll.

I've gotten "you have such a pretty face" for my whole life.

One night when I was in my clubbing days, I'm all dolled up, my younger brother Ed looks me up and down and says, "Damn, you'd be HOT if you weren't so heavy!" :grumble:

BUT - when I was out at the clubs - a lot of the guys would tell me "You are the most beautiful fat woman I've ever seen"! Which I actually kinda liked! :blushing:

I have gotten and still get these comments quite often. It probably stings the most from bumbling men.. but don't underestimate the emotional damage a superficial and conditionally loving mother can do too! It is such a letdown when the person passing the compliment specifies an area (such a pretty face).. or leaves the "but...." hanging in the air.
It constantly reaffirms how much weight is tied to the conception of female beauty in our society..

However. As I work to change myself (inside and out).. I can honestly say I know I look better. I might have had a pretty face before.. but to be honest, I do feel it has improved since losing some weight! It doesn't mean that I am any less worthy or attractive of a person on the inside. I have just learned to separate the physical from personality now. Just like being overweight isn't a personality flaw, neither is being thinner a personality positive. They shouldn't even be linked. Am I a better person just because I look better? No.. of course not.

So now I am able to take a compliment and not have it tied in so closely to my conception of myself.. and the flip side of that is I can take a negative (whether it is meant that way or not), and roll with it much better, knowing that the other person is probably just trying to be nice, or is at worst, kind of an idiot.

I think people mean well when they say that. They just don't realize that it sounds rude. Whenever I see a person comment on someones weight they seem to think they're going to motivate that person some how.