Want fiance to lift... but... he isn't motivated.

Options
55AngelH55
55AngelH55 Posts: 117
in Chit-Chat
Hey.
I already know how badly this will turn out for me. I have prepped w/ a tarp for the tomato-throwing.

My fiance and I are getting married in Feb. He used to work out ALL the time, and did a moderate amount of body-building.
I'd like for him to do a little bit with that again between now and then for the wedding pictures - we're going to Miami for our honeymoon, and intend to do a photoshoot there.
That's what's motivating me to get the weight loss done! :)
I've mentioned it to him a few times, and he says he's too tired after work to work-out, and that he walks around all the time for work, so he doesn't need the cardio. (He's in car sales)

So, from the men in the room... (or ladies in similar situations):
How can I motivate him to do a little lifting between now and then? I'd just like him to tone up a little, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
«134567

Replies

  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
    Options
    Also, I'm not going to be like... pissed or whatever... if he doesn't.
    It'd just be nice.
  • ket_the_jet
    ket_the_jet Posts: 1,257 Member
    Options
    Oh boy. Just wait until you want him to bring out the garbage or be home in time for dinner with the folks.
    -wtk
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
    Options
    :-( He's already great about that stuff.... lol
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Options
    lol accept him for who he is. If you want him to lift weights and stuff to look good for the wedding.... that's pretty selfish. It's ONE day.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    Options
    Just break up with him.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    Be straight up, tell him you'd like him to go with you. Tell him it would give him more energy.


    If he won't do it on the weekdays, see about the weekends. I'm getting married in a year, and when I go to the gym and I know he's just going straight home to watch TV sometimes I want to say something.

    But he didn't work out when I met him, and I love him how he is.
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
    Options
    Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
    So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
    He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
    Options
    Get out while you still can or put up with what's to come. It's a commitment so as long as you know what you're getting then there's not much you can do to change him
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
    Options
    Just break up with him.

    lol wtf?
    you're joking, right?
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    Options
    Offer to do it with him. You can both go, lift for a bit and motivate eachother.
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
    Options
    Offer to do it with him. You can both go, lift for a bit and motivate eachother.

    This (and others like it) are good ideas.
    :) Thanks.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Options
    Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
    So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
    He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.

    Comical how when someone doesn't get the answer they want, all of a sudden there's ALL these extra reasons WHY they're right.

    *sigh*

    Look Lady, this is probably want you want to hear, so disregard my first statement. "Honey, remember when you had those big arms and your curvy spinal chest thing didn't bother you as much? Yeah, I know that's not the case anymore. Let's go work out. Because I know you're going to be a big girl when the pictures come back and you hate them. And I don't want to hear you yotch about hating the pictures."

    Better?
  • MrsBully4
    MrsBully4 Posts: 304 Member
    Options
    Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
    So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
    He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.

    Don't take shirtless pictures of him then? Is this a shirtless wedding?
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    Options
    Offer to do it with him. You can both go, lift for a bit and motivate eachother.

    This (and others like it) are good ideas.
    :) Thanks.

    It helped my boyfriend out. I began changing my lifestyle and he /wanted/ to but couldn't find the motivation to stick with it. After him seeing my results, he got interested and we now hit the gym together. It works out really well!
    If that fails though, you'll pretty much just have to let it go for the sake of his confidence. It's nearly impossible to make somebody WANT to become more fit/healthy.
  • Shadowsan
    Shadowsan Posts: 365 Member
    Options
    Make a bet with him. It plays to the whole male ego thing, and competitiveness.

    Set him a challenge - if he can proportionally lift as a percentage of his bodyweight more than you after X amount of time, and/or completes some sort of fitness test/assessment with a better score than you... You'll agree to do whatever he wants on the honeymoon?

    *shrug* just a thought. Incentive. ;)
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
    Options
    Actually, I want him to do it bc he's really self-conscious about his body bc he has an abnormality in his ribcage caused by scoliosis and he felt a lot more confident when his arms were bigger....
    So, it's not selfishly motivated in the least. I love his body the way it is. I don't care.
    He's just going to be unhappy w/ the pictures. And I know it.

    Don't take shirtless pictures of him then? Is this a shirtless wedding?

    No, but the honeymoon pictures will be... we're doing a photoshoot in Miami.
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
    Options
    Make a bet with him. It plays to the whole male ego thing, and competitiveness.

    Set him a challenge - if he can proportionally lift as a percentage of his bodyweight more than you after X amount of time, and/or completes some sort of fitness test/assessment with a better score than you... You'll agree to do whatever he wants on the honeymoon?

    *shrug* just a thought. Incentive. ;)

    brilliant!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Options
    Why a photoshoot for the honeymoon?

    Any dude I can think of is going to be SO DONE with photos after the wedding.
    You'll be lucky if he isn't hiding from polaroids for a year.
  • gshoemaker06
    gshoemaker06 Posts: 264 Member
    Options
    As somebody else said, just try to do it with him. Date night at the gym, w00t!

    Maybe motivate him with sexy time ;-)
  • Shadowsan
    Shadowsan Posts: 365 Member
    Options
    As somebody else said, just try to do it with him. Date night at the gym, w00t!

    Maybe motivate him with sexy time ;-)

    You know the old saying...

    ...A man may wear the trousers in the relationship, but the woman controls the zipper. ;)

Categories