Want fiance to lift... but... he isn't motivated.

my .02

whats with all this "trying to change him" stuff? Your Fiance is a PERSON not a fix-er upper car. If he's not wanting to "get big" so you can show him off in your pre-wedding photo shoot (which I don't know why; my parents did wedding shoots for years and never had one of these) that's his decision. Love him for he is, and stop pushing him. the fact is, someone brought up the point that it sounds like he's a healthy weight, and you just want him to get cut for your pictures, and I think that's some truth to it and It's a bit selfish

especially since I have a feeling that just because you booked it together doesn't mean it's really both of your ideas. He probably is only agreeing to it because he knew you wanted it

Oh you care plenty what others think of you. You want your man to lift (Not cardio! He doesn't need to exercise his heart, he just needs to LOOK good for our honeymoon shirtless photo shoot!) (gay BTW)

"Why I Want To Get In Shape
- To look amazing in my engagement and wedding photos.
- To wear an itsy bitsy bikini on my honeymoon.
- To promote a healthy lifestyle as I move forward into my marriage, understanding that my health-choices will affect his.
- To avoid future health-related problems.
- To boost my self-confidence.
- So my clothes fit better.
- So my ex-boyfriends can wish they'd behaved better."


I give your marriage a year.

I'm confused. What point do you think you've made?....

That you sound superficial, and I hope you can learn to accept your fiance for who he is and how he looks and only want to motivate him for HEALTH reasons. I guess being a 38 year old woman with a 45 year old husband who just had a stroke puts things in perspective. Not that I would ever push workouts on him....I encourage him from time to time, but he knows what he needs to do and he does it when he chooses on his terms. The only reason I ever talk about him working out is for his heart and health. He has an amazing body naturally, but even if he didn't, I would never ever ever push him to work out simply so he looks good in some shirtless photos or as arm candy for me.

I totally agree with this.

Also, put yourself in his place. How would you feel if you were maybe slightly out of shape and your fiance asks you to start getting into shape so you will look good for your wedding photos??? I know my fiance would NEVER ask that of me and I would never ask it of him either.

If you want, ask him if he wants to work out with you, or tell him that it would be great motivation for each other to do it together.

I just feel like the way you went about it makes it seem like all you care about is getting back your pictures and thinking DANG WE LOOK HOT.

Exactly. This whole thread just rubbed me the wrong way. Really had me feeling for this guy. I admit though, I had a completely different mind set at my first wedding in my 20's. It was allll about the show and the wedding and the photos. Boy did that change my second go around.

yeah I agree, OP is using her husband to be as an extension of herself to show off IMO. It's about the show and fanfare rather than HIS confidence or health

I don't see how wanting your SO to look good is a bad thing. When my fiance put on a bit of wieght I wished he would start being more active again. I found him more attractive. Did I love him any less? Hell no, he is the most amazing man ever, but I wasn't as attracted to him. So I suggested we go on more "active" versus "passive" dates. We took bike rides and such instead of dinner. I want both of us to look good in our wedding photos. Who doesn't? It's not my main priority, nor is fitting into a little bikini, but if it happens...