Ex-Boyfriend's Little Brother....

Well, me and my ex (let's call him Mike) have been broken up since May. We're still friends and there is not bitterness or anything. I have no feelings for him anymore. I don't think he has feelings either but I think he'd still be bothered and a little jealous if I started dating someone else at the moment. He's a sweet guy though and wants me happy.

Here is the problem.... I like his little brother (let's call him Lance) and I'm pretty sure he's attracted to me (at least). I talked to Lance more than Mike even when me and Mike were dating. Mike is very awkward and it was difficult to date him because he lacks certain social skills and get nervous easily. Lance helped me out alot and has always been incredibly sweet to me. He's also incredibly attractive.

Yesterday, me and Lance with a couple other friends drank and I got drunk. I vocalized quite a bit that he's attractive and cute. I also pop kissed everyone in the room (there was only three people besides me).... He didn't push me away or anything. While we were on the couch, I even laid in his lap and played with his hands and such. He didn't make me stop and seemed to be having alot of fun.

I'm not really looking to date him honestly but I would love to at least have some fun with him. Is this bad? I mean, it is my ex's little brother... :/

I find the whole situation kinda funny honestly... but I don't want to cause any pain for the brothers or anything. Then again, if anything were to happen between me and Lance... well, we'd never ever tell Mike anyway.
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Replies

  • trishgrace
    trishgrace Posts: 279 Member
    :noway: Thats just asking for trouble.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Don't. Do. It.
  • mrssim
    mrssim Posts: 43 Member
    I think if you're just looking to have fun and not pursue anything serious with Lance it would probably cause a lot of unnecessary grief. If you really wanted to try something serious it might be worth it. But considering how uncomfortable the situation could get I don't think it would be worth it just to have some fun together =/ There are plenty of guys out there who aren't Mike's little brother who you could probably have some fun with as well.
  • mamasmaltz3
    mamasmaltz3 Posts: 1,111 Member
    If you ever cared about either one of these guys you would leave them the heck alone. You are only going to cause trouble.
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
    I think it would be seriously f'd up to date your ex boyfriends brother;

    But do what you want.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Unless you think you're in love with Lance, you're just inviting unnecessary drama.
    It's understandable that you don't want to be with Mike, but don't go messing around with his brother for a little fun. Poor Mike.
  • ToughTulip
    ToughTulip Posts: 1,118 Member
    If you ever cared about either one of these guys you would leave them the heck alone. You are only going to cause trouble.

    Completely agree. Its the WRONG thing to do.
  • Allie_71
    Allie_71 Posts: 1,063 Member
    Don't. Do. It.

    Wisdom.

    Just don't do it. Tons of guys out there. Don't get between a guy and his brother.
  • Pimpmonkey
    Pimpmonkey Posts: 566
    wow. There are sooo many things wrong with that situation, so I'll just start with NO! don't do it and stop with it as well.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    never get between 2 brothers.
  • mermx
    mermx Posts: 976
    If your `ex` guy thought your sister/best girlfriend was better dating material than you????? even in a `fun way`?????
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Why would you want anyone who would even consider doing that to their brother?

    There's other hotdogs in the ballpark.....
  • LuneBleu85
    LuneBleu85 Posts: 217
    I agree that it's not the best idea. Not sure how long you have been broken up from "Mike" but if it had been 2 years or longer it might not be such a big deal - depends how long the relationship with "Mike" was as well. If you dated him for a month vs. 2 years might change my answer!
  • Rogiefreida
    Rogiefreida Posts: 567 Member
    Well, me and my ex (let's call him Mike) have been broken up since May. We're still friends and there is not bitterness or anything. I have no feelings for him anymore. I don't think he has feelings either but I think he'd still be bothered and a little jealous if I started dating someone else at the moment. He's a sweet guy though and wants me happy.

    Here is the problem.... I like his little brother (let's call him Lance) and I'm pretty sure he's attracted to me (at least). I talked to Lance more than Mike even when me and Mike were dating. Mike is very awkward and it was difficult to date him because he lacks certain social skills and get nervous easily. Lance helped me out alot and has always been incredibly sweet to me. He's also incredibly attractive.

    Yesterday, me and Lance with a couple other friends drank and I got drunk. I vocalized quite a bit that he's attractive and cute. I also pop kissed everyone in the room (there was only three people besides me).... He didn't push me away or anything. While we were on the couch, I even laid in his lap and played with his hands and such. He didn't make me stop and seemed to be having alot of fun.

    I'm not really looking to date him honestly but I would love to at least have some fun with him. Is this bad? I mean, it is my ex's little brother... :/

    I find the whole situation kinda funny honestly... but I don't want to cause any pain for the brothers or anything. Then again, if anything were to happen between me and Lance... well, we'd never ever tell Mike anyway.

    If you think he'd be bothered by you dating anyone, I'm sure he would be extremely "bothered" to find out you're fooling around with his brother.

    Don't do it.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    no, just no.
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
    My usual advice is this:


    If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
  • Here is the problem.... I like his little brother (let's call him Lance) and I'm pretty sure he's attracted to me (at least). I talked to Lance more than Mike even when me and Mike were dating. Mike is very awkward and it was difficult to date him because he lacks certain social skills and get nervous easily. Lance helped me out alot and has always been incredibly sweet to me. He's also incredibly attractive.

    I'm kind of wondering if this relationship was doomed from the very beginning...
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    It's just asking for trouble! Whether 'Mike' finds out or not, or whether its just for fun or more.....It's.Wrong.
  • Shadowsan
    Shadowsan Posts: 365 Member
    It does make me laugh sometimes when people bother to try to get others to validate what they already suspect is not right else they'd not be asking in the first place.

    If you're just looking for fun, go out and find fun.

    An old phrase that we say around here that applies is:

    "Don't s*** on your own doorstep"

    I think it applies quite a bit.
  • hedwighigh
    hedwighigh Posts: 299
    My usual advice is this:


    If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

    Good words to live by. Thanks all repliers.
  • jeddy3mcc
    jeddy3mcc Posts: 177 Member
    Please don't do it. Trouble!!!

    Could u imagine if they had it out and "Lance" brings up the fact that he "handled business" where his brother couldn't handle???

    So much trouble!

    Please stay away. You may not tell, but Lance would then have an Ace in his pocket for either blackmail or worse.

    Just Trouble
  • hedwighigh
    hedwighigh Posts: 299
    Here is the problem.... I like his little brother (let's call him Lance) and I'm pretty sure he's attracted to me (at least). I talked to Lance more than Mike even when me and Mike were dating. Mike is very awkward and it was difficult to date him because he lacks certain social skills and get nervous easily. Lance helped me out alot and has always been incredibly sweet to me. He's also incredibly attractive.

    I'm kind of wondering if this relationship was doomed from the very beginning...

    I quite agree. Hindsight is 20/20.
  • Why would you want anyone who would even consider doing that to their brother?

    There's other hotdogs in the ballpark.....

    ditto...go chase some other hot dog...or something....
  • foxfirekenzie
    foxfirekenzie Posts: 244 Member
    . Then again, if anything were to happen between me and Lance... well, we'd never ever tell Mike anyway.

    Ummmm... yah, I highly doubt this info wouldn't find a way out.

    I think you are silly to even ask this here-since we all know YOU already know what you should/shouldn't be doing with Lance.
    If you are serious about the little bro, talk to Mike and be an adult about it, don't leave people in the dark. Just imagine how crappy you'd feel if the situation was reversed.

    Bad news all around.
  • No, that ****'s gross. Act like a grown up.
  • MrsWilsoncroft
    MrsWilsoncroft Posts: 968 Member
    My advice is stay well clear unless you want hassle lol
  • ASDavis72
    ASDavis72 Posts: 77 Member
    Can you say “JERRY, JERRY, JERRY”???
    Leave it as a thought because it’s wrong on so many levels I don’t know where to start.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    My ex...

    His little brother started dating his ex and they ended up getting married and he was the best man. 5 YEARS later there was still a hint of bitterness and awkwardness when he talked about it.

    Bro code #1
    DO NOT DATE YOUR BROTHER'S EX!

    You will only cause unnecessary friction.

    Guy Code #1
    NO CROSSING SWORDS!
  • alarae
    alarae Posts: 263 Member
    Don't do it! Nothing good can come from this. Just keep looking, there will be someone amazing coming along soon.
  • DaneDillinger
    DaneDillinger Posts: 70 Member
    I would love to respond, but will immediately get silenced by the moderators. Don't do it... just... don't do it.