Adultery Diet

As a woman you know my opinion of your Husband. As a woman you know I would also tell you the same things your friends told you. But, I will tell you that as a woman, you are AMAZING. The fact that you are TRYING to keep it together when it is next to impossible proves exactly what your friends have told you. You WILL get through this, fighting and screaming the whole way that might be, but you are doing it. Out of all of this, just remember that you ARE better than him. In every conceivable way. You are better than he is. And as far as I am concerned, now one of the bravest women I know.

I went through the same thing 5 years ago .. my wife was cheating like crazy. we divorced and i starved myself for a while but then i gained all that plus some after i started eating again .. so make sure you at least eat something so that you can stay healthy . I hope everything works out for the best.

You have a right to feel weak and upset! BUT you have to know that you will get through this and that there are so many people (all your family and friends) that love you. You know that you have a problem with eating... thats a step... soon you will be able to eat again and you can become healthier. Give yourself time. YOU ROCK!

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I've been there and it is rough, but I survived and moved on to SOOOOO much better things. You will too. For now, just do what you need to do to take care of yourself and remember that it is perfectly ok to let others take care of you as well.

I went through the same thing 8 years ago. I would gag on food. The only food I could get down was instant oatmeal. Think about it..8 years. There is life on the other side. It will take a little while, but you WILL get there. No doubt about it, adultery sucks. Good for you for getting on an antidepressant. Hopefully it will take the edge off like it did for me. I didn't need it forever, but it helped when I needed it the most. I would also recommend a good therapist. Therapy isn't weakness, it's about finding your strength. As cheesy as it sounds, I had good friend who put the lyrics to "I Will Survive" under my desk blotter at work. I read them over and over when I needed a boost. I can't believe you ran a marathon! That, right there, is a testament to your strength. You have some bad days ahead, but better times are coming. I promise. Sooner than you think.

I found out December 13th my husband cheated on me. And on Christmas Eve I found the full extent of his multiple online affairs. I don't need to post all the details...

My eating habits haven't really changed much. There were a couple days where I wasn't that hungry and didn't really feel like eating but I did anyways. I'm not an emotional eater I guess....I used to eat when I was bored, thats part of the reason I'm so overweight now. But now that he's realized the extent of what he's done, he's losing weight because he's not eating.

Its hard. I am living with my parents while he's still in our house. He's supposedly trying to find a job in his hometown and move out but I don't know how much longer that will take. Then we are going to sell the house. Right now I'm staying in a spare guest room at my parents' house.

There will be days where you can be rational and handle things without emotion and then there are days where every little thing will make you burst into tears. It really is just one day at a time...one minute at a time....



Although I will say when I was pissed off and wanted to beat him and his wh**** in the face, I put all the energy into my workout and exhausted myself so that by the time I got off the elliptical, I was too tired to be angry anymore.

I've never been in this situation myself, but my heart goes out to all of you who have. No one deserves this.

When I saw your title to this post, I just got that old sinking feeling, because before I even opened the post, I knew what you meant.

I've also been there, along with all the women who have posted here, and many more who just can't post because of the pain.

It is, as several have said, minute-by-minute sometimes. Time doesn't pass quickly enough.

But it will get better.

There is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening, and it is not your fault. A cheater will cheat no matter who he or she is with. Don't blame yourself or question what you could have done to prevent this - there is nothing you could have done differently. It is him. Not you. YOU did nothing wrong.

Please try to take care of yourself, don't become isolated. Come here and talk whenever you need to, we will be here.

Like Phoenix Rising, send me a personal message if you need to talk or hear from one who's been there.

I know exactly how you feel, I had a bf of 6 yrs break my heart 2 yrs ago and I couldn't eat, sleep or think straight for months.
But lemme get back to you and just say DAMN! YOU LOOK AWESOME! U ARE AWESOME! wtf was his problem?
anyways, just try to find something u like to eat like maybe baked potato, fries, anything kinda heavy that will keep ur body nourished. It's easy to let urself go in these times and lose weight in an unhealthy way.

My adultery diet? working out 2x a day for 5 days and eating 3 healthy meals a day and getting LOTS OF SLEEP. Just didn't wanna be awake to think I guess, or to feel for that matter. Good news is you will get over it, even tho right now you feel like you are in a big hole that you can't come out of. It'll get better, I promise.

:flowerforyou: Hugs and positive thoughts from me..... and coming from someone who is twice divorced - I will tell you, time heals. These awful feelings WILL pass and you will find yourself again (a better, stronger you, with more life experience)

Oh - and Congratulations on that run!!! You're already on your way to that stronger better you! :happy:

I am sorry for all who have dealt with a cheating man.
DBALLARD, I am sorry you have dealt w/ a cheating woman. I support you as well!

I am so sorry to hear this. I went through this/ am going through this. My husband has had affairs off and on for the last 3-4 years. Supposedly he has stopped over the last 6 mos., but that trust is so broken, that I find myself falling back down into that dark place you're in again every few weeks or months. Some may say I'm crazy to stick it out, and the old adage once a cheater always a cheater comes out quite often.I have a great marriage counselor that reproaches my husband's infidelity, but in a nonjudgmental way that I think is really giving him building blocks to help him truly break away from his old pattern behavior. I solidly believe in the sanctity of marriage, and although he has broken that, as long as he is willing to stay by my side, I pray that God will make changes in his heart that he will be the man I always thought he was. In the meantime, we are working on renewing trust in our marriage, and with the emotional turmoil of that I tend to sway between the starvation, constantly nauseous and depressed mode like you're going through now, to binge eating or eating nothing but junk. It has really taken a toll on my body. I'm 26 and have high blood pressure, heart issues, depression, joint inflammation. I wish I could offer you solace and happiness, but like I said I'm going through it right now too, so all I can offer is a listening ear. I think you did awesome running your race, and how amazing does it feel to have accomplished something so worthwhile!? Definitely gotta focus on the positives, no matter how big or small in comparison to the pain. I hope that things get better for you soon, that you find something /someone (like a therapist) to help to work through the pain, and remember that we eat to live not live to eat (I have to remind myself of this constantly). I do have to say that since I started journaling on MFP, I recognize that the food I eat has EVERYTHING to do with how my body performs. When I force myself to eat balanced, nutitious meals, I have energy, joy, don't feel as depressed or sick or sleepy. So as hard as it is to force the foods down, I think it is definitely important to try and in so doing you earn back some of that self-esteem thats been squashed and you start to LIVE like you're meant to.

This is what got me through it - I put this on my refrigerator door -- 'YOU MUST BE WILLING TO GET RID OF THE LIFE YOU HAD PLANNED IN ORDER TO HAVE THE LIFE THAT IS WAITING FOR YOU". I made it - you will too

Ugh...the worst thing ever! I know exaclty what you are going through. I lost 15 pounds in the first two weeks! I was super depressed and sad all the time. I watched all 6 seasons of Sex in the City over and over again.:brokenheart: :brokenheart: :brokenheart: :brokenheart:

We ended up getting back together and going to couples therapy. That was 3 years ago and while it sucked at the time I think it was something that needed to happen. We have a completely different relationship than ever before. MUCH BETTER.

I joke about it now with the BF saying break up with me so I can drop 15 pounds in 2 weeks again. :bigsmile: