DO ALL MEN!! WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT

Options
16781012

Replies

  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    Options
    Does she work outside the home? Does she come home after work and take over the childcare, the house, the fixing dinner, the cleaning up after dinner while you relax in front of the tv? Is she then the one who gets up in the middle of the night when the kids need something? If you do help out around the house, do you offer willingly or does she have to ask? Do you help grudgingly? Does she get frustrated and nag?
    If she stays home with the kids all day...do you have a clear understanding of what that's like and what she does all day? Or do you have the mindset that she's home "doing nothing" all day that whatever needs done around the house is "her job"? Have you ever tried to take over the childcare, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking for a day? Do you understand how much time *just* caring for a child can take up? Do you understand that having children attached to you all day makes routine tasks take twice as long as they normally would?

    If more husbands understood this, I bet fewer marriages would fall apart.
    I suspect the same thing. It took a lot of time, communication, and trying to understand one another, but I can honestly say that my husband was the biggest factor in my becoming strong and healthy. It wasn't because he "had the talk" with me, and it wasn't because he tried to "motivate me" to take care of myself. It was because he made the efffort to understand how I was FEELING. When he understood that I felt like I was drowning, he swooped in and came to my rescue. He helped me to carry some of the load. He became my knight and my hero. :heart:
    And once I could BREATHE again, I had more mental and physical energy, and when I had more mental and physical energy, I could make changes that I knew would help myself. And then he has always been supportive of me doing something that I am passionate about, even when it has taken me away from home some evenings and he has had to do all the baths, teeth brushing, and bedtime routines by himself (how many other guys out there would like to put five children to bed by yourself? Superman ain't got nothin on my hubby). :wink:
  • Macrocarpa
    Macrocarpa Posts: 121 Member
    Options
    TO ALL!!
    DO ALL MEN WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT AND WHY....You tell us that we are beautiful...but if we gain weight or have a baby...then you dont treat us the same anymore ....WHY?

    Do you know how goddamned difficult it is to compliment a woman who's self-conscious? When by nature of your relationship with her, she's LESS likely to believe your praise than that of a complete stranger on the internet (I'm looking at you, MFP), or to misinterpret your embarrassed, clumsy attempts at making her feel beautiful as an effort to get her in bed?

    Nope, you don't because all men are selfish, shallow idiots that are only interested in one thing, right? Right? They're incapable of emotion, feelings, being hurt and rejected themselves, and totally disconnected and out of touch of you and your feelings, right? Right?

    If you want a compliment, if you want the truth, sit down with him, tell him one thing you love about him, and ask him what one thing he loves about you is. That's it. Don't sit there in bitter silence waiting for vague affirmation that he's not capable of giving.
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
    Options
    Do you know that a lot of guys I have taked to, said they didn't want their wife to lose weight, so no one could steal her lol. Or that stretch marks were gross and that it turned them off, also I have heard them say, they don't even have kids, and their wife just let themselves go. I have heard so many things about weight, turn off and ons some I understand, some I just don't get at all- its really weird to me, but when you love someone it dosent matter. I would only be concerned with weight if it was a serious health issue, nothing else. I actually like my husband with some meat on him.
  • Hulk0511
    Hulk0511 Posts: 407 Member
    Options
    This is the 3rd thread tonight i have seen asking why ALL men do this or do that!!!! WTF!!! These get started why this why that and its always the guy thats made out the *kitten*. It is not about male or female its about human nature or the way people are men and women do the same ****. How many women have turned their nose up at a great guy because of their weight or body type instead of getting to know the person inside! thats what counts. guys do the same ****. So you are with someone that is physically attractive but has the personality of a turnip and you passed up on a great person that would treat you right and i got to hear WHY WHY WHY cause you picked an *kitten*.
  • NocturnalGirl
    Options
    Umm not all men are like that... and weight isn't their biggest concern, there are other factors.

    For starters, they don't like being yelled at :wink:
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    Options
    I wouldn't generalize all men like this, it's not right.

    Not all men treat women differently when their weight changes, just the douche bags, and not all men are like that. Infact most men I know are not like that.

    My husband loved me when I was a little chunky, when i was fat, after i had our son, just as much as he does now. He never treated me any differently.
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    Options
    o_O why was this thread resurrected....


    ....It was created in March
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Options
    My husband loved me even when I was obese. Of course he is happier with me now, but mainly because he KNOWS IT MAKES ME HAPPY. He wants me happy. A happy wife is a happy life he says. In fact he gets mad at me if I disparage myself for when I was fat, he says I was always his lovely wife.

    You need to find the right man. One who adores you no matter what. I know I'm not the only lucky one out there.
  • NocturnalGirl
    Options
    o_O why was this thread resurrected....


    ....It was created in March

    LOL Angry men...
  • jojorocksforeva
    jojorocksforeva Posts: 303 Member
    Options
    Ummmmmm Yesss well all the men iv met in my lifetime i guess not all but a lot of portion of men do which is sad but the bitter truth.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,667 Member
    Options
    TO ALL!!
    DO ALL MEN WORRY ABOUT WOMEN WEIGHT AND WHY....You tell us that we are beautiful...but if we gain weight or have a baby...then you dont treat us the same anymore ....WHY?
    Let's look at this for a minute. With a new baby, mommy is always tired and any sex is definitely out of the question. Practically every new mom I've met feels a bit stressed out (lots of my clients have been new moms) and may take some of the stress out on husband. Men don't like to be treated badly anymore than a female would.
    So talk to the guy. Put it out on the table and discuss it as adults without taking it personally.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
    Options
    here is my honest opinion of my wife... who I love Dearly.

    Anyway, when we dated ages (19-25) she was a size 0/maybe a 2. 34B about 98lbs

    after 3 kids at the age of 32 she was a size 4, about a 34C and 110lbs.

    now at 41 she is a size 8, about a 36C and about 125-130lbs

    I told her I was concerned about her weight and her health, since she is only 4'11 she always says, Oh this is just baby weight, and that is her excuse. But I finally got her working out doing strength training and running and she did her first 5K.

    Now, we did not weigh her, we did not take any measurements and I do not ask her to go on the scale, frankly i don't care really, I am just happy she is being active and doing some sort of exercise, it is also good for our kids to see that mom and dad are being healthy. PLus by all means I am no saint, I need to lose weight myself, I am not happy with where I am at, but it is nice to have her lift with me and run with me as a couple.

    what ever the results of this is...well just that results, I hope it just leads to a lifestyle of eating healthier and being more active together, and not just me Busting my hump while she eats potato chips and dip on the couch watching true blood.

    So to answer your question, do I worry about her weigth? yes, because I want her around when I am 65/70...not to be a super model
  • llsand
    Options
    Hummm… This is an old but interesting subject. To say all ppl are one way or another is being very narrow minded and those who think this way are probably very ill-advised.

    Nevertheless, saying that you don’t notice nor care about your partners look is too politically correct in my taste to be truly realistic. Of course, there are *kitten***** who are very mean and condescending. Who use your weight as a means to fuel their own discomfort and who think they project some kind of perfect image that you are obviously “ruining”. I’m sure if we all step back and take a look at them, they are far farrrrr from physically appealing.

    But, I must say that although my husband has never really known me super skinny and he prefers curvy women, when I became obese, he did tell me that I looked better before ( I agreed ). He is far from perfect, but he was reacting to my own comments and insecurities, to a question I asked. He has never been condescending, told me to loose weight or else or acted humiliated by me. He noticed that my weight kept me from doing things like going to the pool or putting on certain clothes that I liked and that’s the only thing he regretted: That I felt so bad that I was holding myself back and made myself miserable. In turn, it made him miserable.

    It’s funny but all this make me think of our Church pre-marriage “group counselling” that we had to do before we got married (mandatory !) and there was a couple that had four kids and came to talk to all the couples about marriage etc etc. At one point they asked what was “the thing we liked about each other” and went around the circle listening to our answers and when it came time for my husband to answer, he said that he like everything, not one particular thing but just the whole package “just the way she is”. And the couple answered that it was great but “she won’t remain the way she is forever, life happens and you have to be prepared to change together and to know that you will not remain the same.”

    A very realistic point a view and very few years later we can already see that we are not the same but that’s ok too.

    If you have a partner that refuses to acknowledge this or lives in a parallel world where all women look plastic perfect forever, then move on. They’ll go nowhere in life and will be miserable looking for something that will never exist.
  • Esp3louis
    Esp3louis Posts: 128 Member
    Options
    Not really, my wife gained quite a few pounds here and there between the four kids we have now but it was never an issue. I do have one small complaint now thoug. She has lost a good chunk of her boobs which I found to be so sexy when they were plump! Oh well, somethings got to give I guess. With me it's my *kitten*. It's all but gone now that I've lost 70 lbs. :blushing:
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    Options
    That may be your man, but it's not men. Don't blame all of us for the actions of whatever insensitive *kitten* you're with. Wise up and start choosing better partners.

    ^ that.

    My husband hasn't treated me differently. He married me at 270lbs. He still loves me and treats me the same at 177. ;)
  • PhillyTD
    PhillyTD Posts: 375 Member
    Options
    WaterBoy-Grenade.gif
  • donna_glasgow
    donna_glasgow Posts: 869 Member
    Options
    my man has treated me the same through 4 kids and 119lbs to 201lbs and back again ... choose better men!
  • sportytalldoll
    sportytalldoll Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    That may be your man, but it's not men. Don't blame all of us for the actions of whatever insensitive *kitten* you're with. Wise up and start choosing better partners.


    GO you! I like this guy...and he's right, we cant ever group all men together,-just like I wouldn't want a man to group me in with some of the skanks that walk this earth.
  • thecrass
    thecrass Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    That may be your man, but it's not men. Don't blame all of us for the actions of whatever insensitive *kitten* you're with. Wise up and start choosing better partners.

    ^^^^ Yeh what he said :-) ^^^^
  • Allie_71
    Allie_71 Posts: 1,063 Member
    Options
    That may be your man, but it's not men. Don't blame all of us for the actions of whatever insensitive *kitten* you're with. Wise up and start choosing better partners.

    This. TBH, when I was heavy, I never *ever* heard anything negative about the person I was with. Ever. Every guy is different.

    Pick one that doesn't focus on your weight so much, and change it because of your health and well being, not him.