Adultery Diet

I am so sorry! What an aweful experience! But don't let the cheating slob pull you down! You are better than that!

Sabes, I hope that you are really "hearing" what all the women are saying to you on this thread.

The common theme:

You are amazing
You are strong
He doesn't deserve to have you
He didn't leave you for a 25 year old, he left you because he's screwed up in the head.
He will do this to her too or she's gonna do it to him
DON'T BEG FOR HIM TO COME BACK

Your best revenge is success!

Sabes, the first time that we "had:" to be in the same place at the same time, I made damned sure that my hair and nails were done perfectly. I was wearing the hottest :"little" outfit I could find, my skirt was short and my legs were long. I was wearing sexy heels too. I came into the room full of confidence. The kicker

---

I didn't even pay him an ounce of attention. I made sure that he knew that he was OFF MY LIST.

You have a blast in Mexico with your girlfriend, your smaller *kitten* (and the Mexican waiter).

You deserve this!

Debbie

When I got divorced, a good friend told me "The best revenge is living well". She was so right, whenever I had to be around him, I made sure I looked good and made a point to mention my successes. That in turn made me feel successful....and he didn't like it

Honey you and your DH are living proof that living well after a divorce will lead to true happiness

When I got divorced, a good friend told me "The best revenge is living well". She was so right, whenever I had to be around him, I made sure I looked good and made a point to mention my successes. That in turn made me feel successful....and he didn't like it

Honey you and your DH are living proof that living well after a divorce will lead to true happiness

Thank you Jeannie.... I like to think so. He is my reward for having gone through a bad marriage

I also know EXACTLY what you (and others who have posted) have gone through or are going through! My dr called it the "divorce diet," but the "adultery diet" is MUCH more severe and difficult! I don't care why kind of relationship you had or thought you had with your spouse, no matter what, it is a DEVASTATING BLOW to find out your spouse has done that to you. NO ONE can understand the pain unless they've been through it themselves. I had already been losing weight (trying - eating right, exercising, etc) BEFORE I found out about the affair but lost even MORE weight after that, putting me about 10 pounds below my original goal. I couldn't eat. I was already on antidepressants and my dr added another one, which helped TREMENDOUSLY! I know some people don't believe in antidepressants, but it worked WONDERS for me... and when I got to a better point emotionally, I weaned myself off of the second one. Eventually, I became STRONGER and did very well on my own! Being a single parent wasn't easy, but I did it! I started going out with my new "sexy" self! ;-) I am now remarried to the most awesome man on earth. Of course, I gained back all of the weight plus more after I met my now DH. So now I'm on the road to losing again. I have actually had TWO men cheat on me - the only two real relationships I ever had prior to my now DH. My ex-h and ex-b both cheated on me and it was devastating and painful both times. I don't wish that on ANYONE. It did finally get me out of 2 bad relationships, though. And if it hadn't been for that, I might not appreciate what I have now. For that, I feel fortunate and blessed. For those that are going through the pain of adultery right now, HANG ON... YOU WILL COME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE!! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, although it doesn't seem possible at this point. I felt like I just wanted to crawl into a hole and DIE. Obviously, I pulled through and am thoroughly blessed now! You can too!!!! And one of the advantages of being a female, you always have GIRLFRIENDS to help you through difficult times! I have the most awesome friend in the world who helped pull me through everything I went through in the past. In fact, she has kind of commented that she feels a little sad now that I don't constantly "need" her anymore now that I have found "THE ONE!" ;-) (I was calling her probably at least every other day complaining/crying/whatever before). And if you don't have any friends like that "in real life," I see that there are amazing ladies here for support!! :-)

I kept a journal after I found out about my husbands affair. I was pregnant as I stated before and I had sooo many thoughts and things I needed to tell him and too few words that I could speak because of how emotional I was. Writing down everything helped me. I was able to put things in perspective, and decide what I wanted, because right now what YOU want is all you need to think about. Everything you are feeling is normal. My husband and I are still together, not because he begged for forgiveness, not because we sought counseling, not even for my kids. I am still here because its what I wanted. Right now it really is all about YOU. You have the power over yourself, you will determine your future, and with or without him your future will be brighter then the past. Keep your head up, I think you are coping amazingly well.

Actually if you can remember this feeling - how awful he has made you feel - it will help you when you let go. This isn't love.

Respectfully, I think you would both benefit from therapy. But I don't know either of you, I just know it helped me to put things in perspective.

Why would I stay with someone who did _ _ _ _ _ _ to me?
Why would I want him back?
Does he want me back?
Is he willing to go to couples therapy?
Can I ever trust him again?(without "punishing" him for the rest of our lives for what he did.)


I made a pro/cons list. Try it, it is eye opening. You deserve happiness. It may be by yourself for a while. There are worse things than being alone.

Sabes2631- I feel your pain...I am going thru a divorce right now. I found out that my husband of 11/2 years was cheating on me and had been for several months! We were together for 10 years total. Cheating and lying men do not deserve us! I am now finally glad that he is out of my life. He brought a lot of stress and emotional strife to my life. He is not worth it. He is also mad at me because all the money we had in savings went bye-bye! I have a great lawyer and he is not going to get anything. I bagged all his belongings in black garbage bags and put them on the back porch and to be honest I wiped my a%% with several of the shirts that I had bought him. I know a very juvenile thing to do...but boy did it bring a silly grin to my face!! My saving grace is that I know he will do the same thing to his little tramp in a few years if that, and in a few years I will be doing great...while he will still be the same p.o.s. that he is now without a pot to pee in!! Revenge can be oh-so sweet...but you have to be careful to not sink to his level. RISE ABOVE!! You are so much better than him..because you are right we are better women that would never have done to them what they did to us. They are cowards! Don't worry what comes around goes around and he will get his!!! Hang in there it will be ok I promise!!

WOW...where did you find the MAYBE....I printed that out and hung it next to my mirror so I could read it every day...I, too, have been through my share of heartache and I have so much empathy and understanding of that situation.

Thanks for posting the MAYBE...I love it and will read it every day.

I am amazed on a daily basis of what you can find on this site.

Thanks to all those out there who touch the random unknown, and don't even know they are doing it.

He's truly an idiot. And she'll get what she deserves when he does the same thing to her.

I think you should try to talk to him as little as possible. Every time you talk to him, you give him a new opportunity to hurt you. Take control and put a stop to it. If you thought this was something you could work out, that would be different. Talking to him just isn't worth the effort if you are going to be hurt and there isn't a possibility of reconciliation.

edit for spelling

Sabes- Just offering my support. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. All I can offer you is a virtual hug! And, I have to tell you- I think you're remarkable for running the marathon and also for posting on here and telling your story. I think it puts some of my "problems" into perspective and makes me re-think what 'really matters.' Keep fightin' the good fight. :bigsmile: And keep posting- I know of people on this board that have better support and understanding here than in "real life". :flowerforyou: