Unsupportive significant other
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I understand where you're coming from, I just don't exactly know how to give you advice on fixing it. I guess the best I could come up with is to use his negativity as a stepping stool and boost yourself up to the goal you're trying to reach. His problem maybe that he's scared of losing you once you reach your goal. But, whatever his problem is, thank God that you're losing the weight for you and not him, because his lack of support may have caused you to quit. Continue the great work, keep your head up and be proud.0
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I had an ex like that. Constantly tearing me down whenever I'd attempt something new. He was an insecure jerk. That's why he's an ex. You can't change someone else. All you can do is change yourself.0
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After reading your post:
Ditch the boyfriend. You deserve better. Someone who will support you and compliment you in everything you do.
Guy is a jerk... who needs him?0 -
Reading things like this make me glad I'm single...and if I wasn't and had a boyfriend like that he'd be an ex.0
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Significant other? whats that?
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Oh heck ya! My husbands the same way... Have you tried talking to him about it? Is this a boyfriend you've had a long time, or newly in a relationship? I ignore my husband, I eat healthy and the way I want. He gets pissy but he gets over it...0
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My ex-gf was extremely unsupportive when i started out. I initially tried the diplomatic approach, get her to come to the gym with me, cooked healthy dinners but she never committed to anything. She only complained about her gaining, my losing and there must be someone i'm trying to slim down for since she loves me as is #women. Over time my losses were met with "so are you done with this weight thing now" and eventually i just had to break it off. Couldn't deal with the negativity and feeling held back
Her loss....you are super awesomely handsome.0 -
Honestly, this is one of the reasons my husband and I are separating.0
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I always say, if want a guy to care about you, don't EVER let him know you need him. Ever ... even the good guys. trust me ... AND DON'T EVER Mother a guy ... if you don't want to be treated like his mom.
This guy has a point! My "significant other" was pretty condescending and mean when he made more money than me. Now that we're bringing in the same amount and I've lost a bunch of weight, he' so complimentary.
Maybe your bf is jealous or insecure?0 -
Girllll the only one who is going to be with you through thick and thin (pun intended), through ups and downs, highs and lows and will always support you is.... YOU.
And life is way too short to keep people around who don't encourage you and bring you down. And it sounds like he's just not "unsupportive" but rather that he's actively trying to bring you down. Kick him to the curb. You deserve the best and you deserve to stand up for you. He's not worth it. Get out now before you're a million times hotter than him and he'll be trying even harder to knock you down to his level.
^^^ THIS!!
I am WAY better off single than trying to stay up with a man dragging me down! I won't put up with it. My Love and I had to have an understanding (I left him and made it clear that I was gonna move on) at one point when talking didn't work- but now he knows the level of respect, love, support, devotion, etc that I require, and thankfully, he has risen to the occasion. We had been broken up for a week (and together six months since then). If I hadn't been worth it to him though, I would say good riddance and find a man who would rise to the level that I demand for myself, or just be better off single. The trick is to let him know that and be willing to carry it out.
Either way, decide what you want for yourself in this relationship, see if he will fill those shoes, and if not, cut him loose and don't look back!0 -
Do any of you have a significant other who is unsupportive? I live with my b/f who has a high metabolism and can eat what he wants. He makes comments on what I eat or what I cook. He likes to eat junk( like a whole pan of macaroni and cheese) I dont. He's never once mentioned or given me a compliment about how much weight i've lost. And when someone else does he roles his eyes. Or if one of my friends see me and says "Hey beautiful", he just gives me look like he doesn't understand why they greet me like that.
Does this make sense or am i rambling?
Get rid of him. You deserve better.0 -
My ex told me in the middle of my weight loss effort after losing 30lbs that the only time a wife loses weight is when she is preparing to leave her husband. I guess he never took into consideration that I was trying to get healthy so that we could have a baby. So, I stopped..Gained all the weight back and then we split. I'm once again on the journey to a healthier lifestyle and loving life without the negativity in my life
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WOW! 56 pounds lost. YOU ROCK! As for the boyfriend he might be feeling a bit insecure as your looks and health improve. Have you asked him what his reasons are for his lack of support? I'm not defending his behavior I just wonder what the root cause is. It could be anything from his no longer being the center of attention when he is around you to his fear of losing you. Again 56 pounds lost ROCKS!0
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Well I thought my husband was not supportive at first , then big surprise he started working out with me and compliments me on my weight loss. He can eat whatever he wants and likes and not gain a pound.. ugh! Since I have converted over to a healthy lifestyle he has changed alot of his eating habits too. We are going on 11 years together and he is very supportive of anything I do . You should always have that someone you love in your back corner to support you no matter what !!!)) 0
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My husband maybe has mixed emotions about it. He married me at 270lbs so obviously he was attracted to me then. He says he supports me and does tell me I'm doing great, but at the same time when we eat out he hates when I obsess over the calories. He brings home ice cream and chocolate which SOMETIMES I admit, I love it, but usually I'm thinking "ugh... really?" Yes, he is trying to be nice, but can't he be nice and bring me a banana? LOL He doesn't like talking about diet/exercise with me so I've stopped talking to him about it for the most part. 0
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My husband said to me the other day and I quote " If you got as small as you were when we first met I'd be all over you" I politely responded if you got as small as you were when we first met you might have a chance with me! I have been playing around with different foods recipes negative calorie foods and my husband will sit right in front of me and hog down on anything and EVERYTHING all night long. So I started making all our food healthy and filling, brought in more fresh fruits and veggies so when he wants a snack I know its healthy, and switched from white food to whole grains. and he will sit there and eat a big serving and say ohh thats so good! Well I havent told him that he is eating healthier and I dont think he has noticed but I do believe he has lost a few lbs himself.0
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um, why exactly is he still your boyfriend? here are my thoughts...
he is who he is. people don't change. obviously he's not meeting your expectation of what you are looking for in a companion. don't blame him because he is who he is. you either need to lower your expectation of a companion so that he fits (i.e., settle) or leave him because you respect yourself too much to settle.
but, no sense complaining about what he is. This isn't just a random, isolated oversight on his part (which should be forgiven in most instances). This is a reflection of his character and it sounds like he's not meeting the needs you fairly expect from your companion.
sooooo....if you stay with him, accept that you've chosen to stay with him knowing what he is and that you've compromised your own expectations. entirely your choice and nothing to pin on him. if he's a jerk, he's a jerk. that likely won't change. accept it or leave.0 -
Significant other? whats that?
Lonely dawg? :noway:0 -
ABSOLUTELYsounds like you might want to sit down and write pros and cons of staying together and maybe consider getting out, if he can't see why this is so important to you. Congrats on your weight loss and sticking to it when you're not getting support you deserve!0 -
I would ask the same question...why are you still with him? But, I also understand about any other things that are great with you relationship. Explain to him about how it makes you feel when he doesnt acknowledge it or when he is MEAN about things. Call him out on it.
Now, my husband doesnt always ask how I am doing but, "yells" playfully at me if I want to do anything I shouldnt (or eat anything I shouldnt). He will make comments like last night, since I was working out when he got him, "Man, is this an every night thing?" or when i was taking my Zumba class, he would always say he would want me to stay home with him instead of going to class. BUT, when he notices the difference, like he did this past weekend, he acknowledges it and tells me how awesome I am doing. He loves me for me but, he also understands how I feel about myself because he also has the same issues with himself.
GOOD LUCK!! Talk to him and tell him how you feel!0 -
Perhaps you haven't explained how important this is to you in a way he understands? If you have and he is still unwilling to be supportive dump him 'cause he is a loser. If your desires don't matter to him, what does? That's the "old lady" perspective. Good luck!0
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That's just plain mean, any way you turn it , it doesn't get better.
^THIS.
Lots of partners may not jump on the bandwagon but don't criticize. He is taking it to a new level.
Your success in getting healthy is probably striking a nerve with him, whether he realizes it or not. He needs to get over it and either be supportive or shut his mouth! If he can't do that, then you need to move on.0 -
Why allow someone in your life that doesn’t support you and want the best? They should see you in a better way then you even see yourself so they can hold you up when you feel down. You need to talk to him and see if he treats you like this because of his own insecurities or if he just really doesn’t love you in the way you need. You shouldn’t allow it in your life and you need to make it clear to him that you won't allow it. You are worth more than that and don’t let anyone make you feel like you aren’t. My fiancee wouldnt be my fiancee if he didnt show love to me in every part of my day
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You need a new bf. You don't need someone who undermines your efforts.0
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Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.0
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I don't have a SO but if I did and he rolled his eyes or gave me weird looks when people called me beautiful he wouldn't be my SO for very damn long.0
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Sounds like he's insecure. He's probably worried that you might leave him if you lose the weight, gain confidence and become empowered.0
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I man should never treat you that way. It seems like he only cares about him self. You should remember that life is very short and if you really want to waste your time with a man like that . My husband would never do that he when I tell him what I have done he always tells me he is so proud and that I always look so pretty. You deserve the same thing do waste your life on a man who is not treating you right0
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Totally this.I don't have a SO but if I did and he rolled his eyes or gave me weird looks when people called me beautiful he wouldn't be my SO for very damn long.0 -
Kick him out and let's talk
:flowerforyou: 0
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