Why I closed my diary.

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Replies

  • beonehotnurseagain
    beonehotnurseagain Posts: 15
    Congrats on all the hard work that you have done so far both in your personal life and with the weight loss. I couldn't agree more with what you wrote. It is no body's business but your own how you choose to eat, it is your journey not their's. Good luck as you continue on this fun trip. And also to your son's who you and your wife have obviously done a wonderful job raising.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    Scott,

    Thanks for the well thought out post and more importantly, for your lifestyle choice to be a good father and attorney. Bigger business doesn't always mean better.

    Get a blog started. You have life lessons that would help so many aspiring young attorneys.
  • miriamwithcats
    miriamwithcats Posts: 1,120 Member
    Congratulations on pulling yourself up out of your background!

    I debated whether to open my diary or not. I live alone, and do a lot of comfort eating. I am hoping that having others able to see when I eat a half gallon of ice cream might motivate me to limit it some. However, I did figure if I got diet Nazis responding negatively, I could delete them as friends if I limited the viewing to only friends. So that is how I have handled this issue. I haven't been on here long enough to know if it will work that way or not. I recently found out I have been gluten intolerant all my life, so I cannot have a lot of baked goods. When I am feeling deprived because of that I indulge myself in ice cream. That is how I am going to have to manage a lifelong elimination of baked goods. Since I was a baby I have comfort ate.
  • newmooon56
    newmooon56 Posts: 347 Member
    Some of us are doing just what you are- small changes FOR NOW- with a plan of making more changes as we can. I stopped watching sugar because I could be fine all day then have some strawberries and blow it- BAA! No thanks. I dont watch sodium but check it almost daily and I go over 2500 mg about half the time- I also dont care since I do not have blood pressure issues or any other problems currently with sodium. In time I hope to be able to watch it better.

    But like you- if I have to cut every single food to make all those numbers match up just right- this wont work- I will have to stop.
    I agree with your approach, and that is- the approach that will be sustainable for you in the long term.

    LIFESTYLE- this is a LIFESTYLE- yes we've all heard it and said it- speaking for myself (and I dare say you as well) I think I finally get that- my LIFESTYLE has to be not only one that is healthier and better- but one that is SUSTAINABLE. Sound like you are finding your path- congrats!!! And continued blessings to you and yours!
  • wormstrup14
    wormstrup14 Posts: 45
    I can easily see why you are an appellate attorney...your writing skills are phenominal. I would love you follow your journey on a blog if you have one. Best of luck on your continued weight loss. Just continue to do whatever works for you, and your life
  • fh1951
    fh1951 Posts: 440 Member
    it's the lifetime ahead of you that matters. getting to a healthy weight is a goal you know you can reach; your story is full of examples of successful achievement in other areas of your life so far. however you choose to do it, getting to and maintaining a healthy weight will go a long way to making the lifetime still ahead of you everything you want it to be for you and yours. you're on the right track, so keep on keepin' on. you can do it...
  • WonderCort
    WonderCort Posts: 123 Member
    Sounds like you have chosen some unsupportive friends. Part of being able to choose friends also means you are allowed to let the "bad" ones go. When I first started MFP, I had friends I would keep and some that just had to be unfriended because they weren't good for ME. Instead of a huge "I'm a successful lawyer so I don't have to answer to anyone about my binge eating" rage post, consider dumping the "friends" who have chosen to put you down and find some decent ones. Also remember, this is about YOU. If you are not ready to be healthy for YOU, this isn't going to work. You are not trying to lose weight or get healthy to impress random strangers. In the end they aren't gonna care. I lost over 70lbs using MFP. I choose to keep my diary open because I really don't care what other people say about my sugar or sodium or bad intake days. This is entirely not about what other people think about my food intake, this is about me wanting to lower my blood pressure, build stamina, prevent heart attacks, and being there for my grandchildren. Prioritize WHY you are doing this. Hold onto that.
  • StaceyG221
    StaceyG221 Posts: 31
    Amazing story and congratulations on your wonderful life accomplishments and weight loss acheivements and goals! I totally agree, though my diary is open to friends...I have a Mountain Dew addiction that I am just not willing to let go of! Though I have gone from drinking 8 - 10 a day to 2 most days, some days I will sneak in a 3rd one, but that is how I roll! Way to go!
  • blushingmama
    blushingmama Posts: 111 Member
    One of the best posts on this site thank you for sharing, and good luck for the future, what ever it brings.

    .:drinker:
    [/quote

    agreed
  • bkesecker
    bkesecker Posts: 163 Member
    I subscribe to your school of thought. Eerily weird. I too enjoy my treats and would not be where I am without them. I love Chipotle salads. I get them without cheese, sour cream, our guacamole. However, the sodium and sugar are still through the roof. I simply don't care. I am enjoying my life AND the changes I am seeing in my body. My hubby of nearly 25 years comments everyday on the changes he is seeing in me, and I like it. Not a day goes by that he doesn't call me sexy. Yes, he would still say those things if I did not eat Chipotle, however I would not be as happy without my occasional indulgences. I made the choice from the beginning to keep my diary private because I did not want to be judged. Quite frankly, I was toying with the idea of opening it. After reading your post, I will forever keep it closed so that I don't have to hear all the things I am doing wrong knowing that I am doing so many things right. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
  • Tonika44137
    Tonika44137 Posts: 167 Member
    I enjoyed reading your personal story so much I lost track as to what this thread was originally for lol..I hate that people critic peoples diaries as though they're so expert, you do what works for you and keep doing it until it doesnt work anymore...good luck on your journey here
  • floridagirl7264
    floridagirl7264 Posts: 318 Member
    Wow!!! I used to be a legal secretary (corporate law in a big firm) and understand the pressures that an associate goes through before making partner. Even after making partner they have to meet billing requirements as well as bringing in X number new clients. I can see why you would have anxiety attacks. Who wouldn't under that kind of pressure? I'm glad that you were able to build your own practice and work for yourself instead of big corporate. Billing 100 hours a week is extremely stressful. (BTW, I'm speaking from working at the 3rd largest firm in Florida at that time).

    Anyway, I digress. I keep my diary private for the exact same reason. I am working this the best way for me. I eat whatever I want and keep within my calorie amount. It's the only way I know that I will definitely lose sustainable weight loss.

    Best of luck to you.
  • Agator82
    Agator82 Posts: 249 Member
    I agree with your reasoning. I personally would not have put up with it, if I had friends who could not get the idea of indulgence I would just dump them. Congratulations on the success and good luck as you continue.
  • annabellio
    annabellio Posts: 127 Member
    You said it !
  • BluthLover
    BluthLover Posts: 301 Member
    It's clear by your life story that you know how to get shiz done. You seem smart and capable and dedicated. You would have to be. So I have no doubt this will be a success for you as well!!! Go get em!
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
    Lol - makes sense. Although I guess you could equally have explained this on your friend feed (using fewer words) so your friends would know this was a conscious decision, and wouldn't feel the need to chastise you for your food choices! That's what I do - I haven't had any problems with my diary being open to my friends. I've actually stopped logging my food this week, for various reasons, and a couple of my friends think this is a bad idea, but they don't keep harping on about it, because I've announced it is my decision.
  • Fitorbust73
    Fitorbust73 Posts: 80 Member
    Yashir koyech --- do what feels right to you... There are many Balmalocha here...

    I love your writing by the way...
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
    Maybe it's the Naval officer in me, or maybe I'm being "insensitive" myself, but I find it weak that with as much success as you've had, you would care if other people picked apart your diary. You're the one who looks yourself in the mirror. Not them.

    Perhaps you skimmed his post, because that's not what he said. In large part, he closed his diary because he doesn't have the time to adequately respond to people's genuine questions and concerns. Not because the questions or concerns are read solely as criticism.
  • MsRelisse
    MsRelisse Posts: 7
    Great post. You have to do what works for you; everyone else be damned. It's a shame more people don't get that.
  • aprueitt
    aprueitt Posts: 91 Member
    I never comment on post I just read them. I have to say well said. When someone ask what diet I am on I tell them "my diet". People say you can't loose weight that way. Well I have lost 28 pounds since April 24, it maybe slow but it is weight gone... Good luck to you and you can do this YOUR way. I also keep my diary closed for this reason.
  • lisasowndiet
    lisasowndiet Posts: 10 Member
    Great post! I am fairly new to this site but I chose to keep my diary closed when I started because it is just personal to me. I have enough to deal with just avoiding the carbs barking at me as it is! If I decided to take advantage of them it is my business. You have done a great job and can clearly state "I Did it My Way!" BRAVO!!:wink:
  • dfborders
    dfborders Posts: 474 Member
    Makes sense to me - however, maybe instead of closing your diary if you liked that accountability you may want to look at your friends list and do some purging there (or have your diary open only to your friends). Whichever way you go it sounds like if you want to do it you will so good luck and wishing you the best:flowerforyou:
  • KellyBgetsfit
    KellyBgetsfit Posts: 1,713 Member
    Wow, what a great story! I really hope you make your goals and find the "3" by Christmas. You Have to make MFP work for YOU and if that means closing your diary, then DO IT! Best of luck!
  • Jerseygirl248
    Jerseygirl248 Posts: 13
    I didn't know that I would read through your entire post but once I started I couldn't stop. I was touched my your story and I completely understand about the diary thing. Do what works for you! Not for anyone else. We are all different. As long it's coming off and you are making better choices for YOU than you win!!!
  • jtjunkie
    jtjunkie Posts: 59 Member
    :happy:
  • bluebird321
    bluebird321 Posts: 733 Member
    Good job and interesting life story about the price a person can pay in order to be successful.

    What you eat and how you do it is your business. The fact that you are being mindful, logging and thinking about what you are eating is a huge victory.
  • gkrash
    gkrash Posts: 3
    Excellent decision I think. Do what you can with what you've got, it's all you can do. Also, if you're anything like me, I can promise you that once you get the weight down and start exercising regularly, the "bad" foods fall off the want list pretty quickly, simply because your body won't want them. Best of luck!
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I really enjoyed your post! Sounds like you've done well for yourself, and worked hard to get where you are. I started doing a Law degree, but then changed my mind :smile: I studied French instead and I now teach at a secondary school. I'm sure being a Lawyer would pay more, but I get lots of time with my family.

    As for the diary, I was undecided about whether to leave it open or not, but then decided to. For me I like knowing that I have to not eat certain things. On the other hand, as I think you mentioned, being healthy is for the rest of your life, so it shouldn't put you off having a treat now and then. It's perfectly possible to lose weight with a closed diary too :smile:

    I do like reading other diaries though, especially American ones!
  • jfrog123
    jfrog123 Posts: 432 Member
    I had my diary open at one point, and I also got comments from well-meaning friends who were concerned about my sodium intake, how I was spacing my meals out during the day, etc. While I knew their intentions were good, it was not something I wanted to deal with on a daily basis. I felt that just logging in here and being honest was a huge step, and I did not want to be judged. I made my diary private and felt a lot better. I have recently added a key to my diary and shared that key with two mfp friends. Knowing that they can view my diary at any time does help motivate me on days when I feel like caving to a craving, but I don't have to worry about the judgement I felt before. This works for me because I am at a point where I am comfortable opening up my diary to these two people. You have to do whatever works best for you.

    When it all comes down to it having friends on mfp is great, but you (and I) did not come here just to make friends. You came here to take steps to improve your health and fitness. And as for the guy who feels it is weak to "care if other people picked apart your diary", he is entitled to his opinion, but you did not come here to impress him either. Keep doing what you need to do.
  • ndnmomma
    ndnmomma Posts: 466 Member
    This is exactly why I don't open mine, but with me its not so much I eat a lot of refined sugar or go over sodium, but I feel more pressure and stress about the back lash you get from eating not exactly as others say you should. HELLO I did not get to where I am today, 60 pounds lighter, by eating terrible. I'm not a clean eater, but I enjoy my food. If I wanted a well meaning opinion I would ask for it. I do my food tracking for me, and when it was open I felt more tempted to lie about what I was putting in my mouth. It keeps some accountable, and thats great, but for me it was an overwhelming desire to hide. This wasn't helping me to move forward, so I closed it. Good for you for bettering your health, and good luck on the rest of your journey!

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