Partner hates me using MFP :(

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  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    its prob not the logging, its all the ripped abs and muscley men makin appearances on your computer screen

    ^^ This
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    he's a ****ing twit. Tell him to get bent.

    Eh??? All he has said is exercise and watch what you eat and try not to worry about logging every mint etc.

    Does that make him a twit? People are too confrontational on here. 'screw him' 'he's a ***** twit' 'mind your own business"

    Jeez,Is that how people are with their relationships?
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    I'd tell your partner to STFU and mind his own business!

    I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and guess that you're single? That attitude doesn't fly in any long term relationship.
    exactly!

    All he said was exercise, eat healthily and don't worry too much about logging every mint! So he has to STFU!!!

    I've even seen people recommending she should dump him!
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Normal people write down things they can't mentally keep track of. Do you balance your checkbook in your head? Do you commit all your friends' addresses, birthdays, email addresses, and phone numbers to memory?

    If it really bothers him and you can't find a way to explain to him that keeping track of it is helping you feel better, you could probably get away with not logging anything under 10 calories and just aiming for 50-100 calories under your goal each day to make up for it. Alternatively, you could try your best not to log in his presence if you trust yourself to remember what you ate until later.

    That said, I would really try to get to the bottom of why it bothers him. Is he overweight or insecure about his weight and feeling left behind in your efforts because he's not willing to try as hard? Is he concerned that paying this much attention to your weight is having a negative effect on your self-confidence? Is it just a pet peeve and he can't really explain why it bothers him so much?
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    Is your partner closer to their desired weight than you? Sometimes people who don't need to lose much can't accept how difficult it is when you do.

    I agree with this guy. If you don't eat emotionally (which every person who is more than 15 lbs overweight does to some degree), you don't see that it really takes some regimentation to overcome your instincts to eat more food than you need and some incentive to work out more. My husband cannot for the life of him see why it is so complicated for me to lose weight--just exercise more (which he loves deeply) and don't eat sweets (which he doesn't care much about). He is skinny as hell and genuinely believes that is all it takes. MFP just helps you do what you know you're supposed to do anyway. Estimation is not your friend during weight-loss.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    Man, mine would be out on the damn street if he EVER criticized me for doing something that worked.

    Lol on the damn street for questioning her actions!

    He may well be the nicest guy in the world who questioned whether her actions were a little obsessive. That's it! It's all over! How dare he!

    Why did you and your partner split up, affair?
    No he is totally trustworthy
    'did he beat you?'
    No way, as gentle as a lamb
    'gamble away your money?'
    No, he's great with money
    Nasty to your friends?
    Oh no, they all think he's great

    What then?
    Well he expressed concerns about me becoming too obsessive about the calories
    OUT ON THE DAMN STREET!!!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    If you don't want to come across as obsessive, there's a few things you can do. First of all, don't talk about it. Keep your logging to yourself. Second, be subtle about it. Log once at the end of every meal instead of during it, don't immediately rush to your phone after a snack, ect. And make sure he knows you're doin this SO you can get to a place where you don't have to log all the time.
  • Graceious1
    Graceious1 Posts: 716 Member
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    Just don'T tell him about it, especially if he isn't being supportive. He'll be shocked when you start to look different.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    If you don't want to come across as obsessive, there's a few things you can do. First of all, don't talk about it. Keep your logging to yourself. Second, be subtle about it. Log once at the end of every meal instead of during it, don't immediately rush to your phone after a snack, ect. And make sure he knows you're doin this SO you can get to a place where you don't have to log all the time.
    good advice.

    When I'm in my ultra fitness mode I am conscious that it's all consuming and I have to reel myself in. Not everyone wants to hear about how many calories I just had. I become a calorie bore!
  • kchaney2003
    kchaney2003 Posts: 27 Member
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    I know when I first started using MFP I felt obsessive because when I thought I needed a cookie, cake or candy bar I logged in just to read about what others were struggling with and to gain some perspective on how eating that was going to make me feel. I suggest maybe showing him around the site and letting him know how much support and positive thoughts really do make this long road easier. Good Luck! :smile:
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
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    I have a few people who think that keeping track of what I eat is obsessive and over the top. I tell those people that I got fat by not keeping track and let them know how much weight I've lost since I've become more health conscious.
  • gusnjay
    gusnjay Posts: 26 Member
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    If it works for you, stick with. MFP will put you into a routine, which will become discipline then success.
  • veduffey
    veduffey Posts: 73
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    I log everything I eat, no matter what, it isn't obsessive, it just gives me a crystal clear picture about my calories. Does he have a CONTROL issue. It is way too easy to kid myself about what calories I am consuming. Of course, I don't like anyone telling me what to do. :flowerforyou:
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    Please, please, please.....original poster.....tell all the people here with negative things to say about your partner to jump off a bridge.

    You have to "live" with him, and you'd want him to honor your pet peeves about something he does that may seem over the top to you. You'd also want people in his life to say honorable things about you.

    So, to all people here who are giving this poster advice such as..."He doesn't control you...do what you want....what right does he have to say anything...." With all due respect, please go jump in the lake.... A deep one.

    OP-- find a way to tone it down out of courtesy to him, when he's around. Yes, you are probably obsessive/compulsive about this right now.....I was too, in the beginning. My husband had an attitude, too, and held a lot of the same beliefs. "Just eat right and exercise more."

    Yeah, okay....uh, easier said than done. But the fact that they don't "get" it, doesn't make them wrong for their opinions.

    Find a way to tone it down for his sake when he's around.....find a way to honor his wishes, as you'd hope he'd do the same.
  • donyellemoniquex3
    donyellemoniquex3 Posts: 2,384 Member
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    just the the app 8) problem solved.
  • SueG62
    SueG62 Posts: 1
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    If you go back to estimating you will probably underestimate, also documenting what you've had saves forgetting things and thus pilling on the calories. Try explaining this to him, maybe he's worried you are becoming OCD or in danger of an eating disorder. Good luck.
  • capie123
    capie123 Posts: 34
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    If you were an alcoholic would he have a problem if you went to AA? Food issues are real and do what it takes to keep on track. Listen to what you think! That's all that matters.
  • cleanandlean2012
    cleanandlean2012 Posts: 71 Member
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    First of all, I cannot understand some people on here who says it is none of of your partners business. Surely you are in life's journey together! (I have been married 18 years) That said, it is so important to your long terms health that you develop sustainable healthy habits. Have you thought of logging at a time when it does not interfere with your time together - when he's at work, early in the morning or late in the evening? Are you compulsively using MFP - eg are you on it every two minutes? (I have been there, where I get so engrossed in the community element, that I lose track of time) If so, why don't you try to log at the end of every day and write things in a notebook during the day / use the app etc and set some specific time for emails / community.

    Wishing you every success, try to find a way to stay at it. x
  • kimdarren
    kimdarren Posts: 76 Member
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    My husband **WAS** the same way. I've been doing this since about February. At first he thought it was my usual fad of trying to lose weight for a couple of weeks and then back to my old ways. Although I have fallen of the wagon a couple of times, I've always got right back to it. He thought it was absolutely riduculous and that I was OCD over the web sight. He also said it was no-one elses business what I do. HOWEVER, once he could see I was actually losing weight, he slowly changed his opinion.

    25lbs gone, (I don't lose weight, cause when you lose something you want it back, and I don't want this weight back!) and tonight he actually kept all of the packaging for everything that he used for dinner so I could do my calorie count. WHAT A CHANGE!

    I would keep using mfp, but go on it when he's not around. What he can't see can't hurt you :) I actually put the mfp app on my phone and I used to do my tracking when I went to the toilet. Now, I don't have to. If my hubby sees me eating something that he knows isn't the best of choices, he asks if I have enough calories in the day for that - and not in a patronising or sarcastic way.

    If you want to lose the weight bad enough, you'll find a way. Once he sees that you are losing weight, he may change his mind. Best of luck xx
  • cleanandlean2012
    cleanandlean2012 Posts: 71 Member
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    So pleased to see your comment too. I was shocked by all the negative comments about the partner. Surely in life it is about working with each others habits, strengths, weaknesses and personality to go through life together. It is about honouring your partner and loving them for who they are. No wonder the divorce rate is so high!
    Please, please, please.....original poster.....tell all the people here with negative things to say about your partner to jump off a bridge.

    You have to "live" with him, and you'd want him to honor your pet peeves about something he does that may seem over the top to you. You'd also want people in his life to say honorable things about you.

    So, to all people here who are giving this poster advice such as..."He doesn't control you...do what you want....what right does he have to say anything...." With all due respect, please go jump in the lake.... A deep one.

    OP-- find a way to tone it down out of courtesy to him, when he's around. Yes, you are probably obsessive/compulsive about this right now.....I was too, in the beginning. My husband had an attitude, too, and held a lot of the same beliefs. "Just eat right and exercise more."

    Yeah, okay....uh, easier said than done. But the fact that they don't "get" it, doesn't make them wrong for their opinions.

    Find a way to tone it down for his sake when he's around.....find a way to honor his wishes, as you'd hope he'd do the same.

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