Partner hates me using MFP :(
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My husband has been super supportive of MFP. He looks at what I read, gives his two cents sometimes. This is a guy who is 5"11 165 lbs and has never worked out a day in his life. The other day he looked over my shoulder while I read an article about drinking warm water with half a lemon in the mornings, and yesterday at the store he pointed to the lemons.
BUT, my co-workers have had a few dumbass comments. I have the app on my phone so I log everything I eat there (of course).
One of the them who actually wants to lose weight himself actually said "enough with calorie counting already, your making me feel like a fatass". I may seem a bit obsessive at work, because I'm always "no I cant eat that" or "cant we order from somewhere more healthy?". Or I just bring my lunch and dont eat with them. BUT its because it was like a constant gorge fest at work ALL the time, it was one of the things I had to change in order for me to change. Everyday it was pizza, or chinese, or Thai, or BBQ. Every day. Sometimes twice a day depending on if my guys were hungry first thing in the morning. I'm not being obsessive, I'm just serious about changing my life. There is a difference.
Anything that makes a POSITIVE change in your life is.....positive. Enough said.0 -
It can appear obsessive to a lot of people. I've had friends (even ones who use this site as well) who think I have become way too obsessive about it. Thing is, using MFP has been the only way for *me* to be able to successfully (1) lose weight, (2) work out consistently, (3) have readily available support nearly 24/7, (4) face accountability and (5) learn what REAL healthy food eating is like.
My husband never said much, other than if I panicked about something. Then he worries. Other than that, I just let people say what they want to and I keep doing what I'm doing because... it's working. If it wasn't working then maybe I'd move on.0 -
I can't speak for you, only for myself. But he doesn't get to speak for you either. If it keeps you on track what is the harm? So what. I can't imagine my fiance weighing in on how much mfp logging I do. Maybe some people think it's crazy that I set my clothes out the night before, but they don't get to tell me I have to wake up every morning and stare blankly at my closet and wing it. I know for me if I was not logging everything on mfp I would be going over everyday. Its definitely an accountability thing for me. I remember once I wanted fresh raspberries for a snack at the end of the day but I was short on available calories so I made myself walk 10 mins on the treadmill so I could affford those calories. Before mfp I woulda eaten the raspberries and told myself its ok because they're healthy and I didn't get fat eating raspberries! But I did get fat making those kind of excuses and giving in to temptation. (like that 10 mins on the treadmill killed me? hardly.)
If you are considering not logging I would do it experimentally for 1 day. Don't log. Do your normal routine. But the next day go into your food diary and go back and enter everything for that day and see if you stayed within calorie budget. You'll know whether your instincts are correct about how much you would eat naturally.0 -
I agree...do what is necessary to take care of you!0
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My man is not a big fan of me using it either, but I tell him straight up, it's like this. Either you shut up and let me use this tool or I could gain back what i lost. And he alrady said he wouldn't have asked me out if I was my old size.0
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If he is otherwise supportive and just started complaining, you may want to make sure you are not putting MFP in his face all the time. If it is the subject of every conversation and he has to be overly aware of everything you eat and shape his life around your eating habits, it may be alot for him. I logged for months on my ipod and computer without anyone knowing. I looked up low sodium choices before going out to eat with friends etc. Just make sure that MFP isn't the third person in your relationship. He may be missing all the old hobbies you two used to do together.
If you know that you are not making your healthy lifestyle the main attraction in your relationship, you may have found a dud. Keep MFP and lose the partner.0 -
I'm a guy with a lot to lose yet, but I know guy's psyches, you're looking good and beautiful and pretty damn hot and he's jealous, he'll say he likes you big and lumpy and bumpy, it's a control thing, me Tarzan you Jane only Jane is looking pretty hot in her leopard-skins and he's afraid other elephant-hunters are going to bag him as wild game and take you away. Tell to take a flying friar (tuck) if he doesn't like it, you didn't say his age, but I'm betting he's in his 20s, goes to the gym, goes to the bar with the boys, can drink a 12 pack of beer, fart and it doesn't end up around his middle, eat a whole horse raw belch and it magically disappears, he's more conscious of his appearance in comparison to yours, don't let him screw your progress up0
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i log it all, all day long. if i do not i eat of this childs plate, eat while l preparing this dinner eat extra snack at snack time. mfp contols my mindless eating. Mind u I do not look up each foid i calculate calories n often just enter calorie amount for ex. peice bread 90, plus soup can said 220 so for dinner i will just enter 310 faster for me. I do not share duary cause mostly just totals saves me time fir others n myself. i love mfp n if i had to give up fb or mfp good bye fb lol0
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You have to do what works for you! My boyfriend laughs at me too, but I told him to SHUT UP!!!!0
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i log everythin n i mean everything... tell your partner to stop been an *kitten* and support you...0
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I agree with what a lot of the others are saying, it feels obsessive at first. You get accumstomed to it VERY quickly. my husband was very supportive of my using MFP but did make jokes about the time consuming nature of the logging. That only lasted about 3 weeks or so. Now he is just as anal about logging everything as I am. As long as you are doing it for the right reasons and you are comfortable with the life change that you are making to keep yourself feeling better, looking better, and around longer than it doesn't really matter what he thinks. This is a decision that affects the betterment of your health, it doesn't affect his. Keep up the good work and turn a deaf ear to his discouragement.
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Yeah, I log everything as well. I haven't told the hubby that I use this site or anything like it. He does get annoyed when I'm like OMG that has such and such calories in it!0
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i do get anxiety about my partner using MFP so much but it is because she chats with people and interacts taking time away from my family and myself. It is selfish of me but i would like her to spend a little more time with it off than on. That being said, here i am telling you that i am waisting time not interacting with my family. like i said it is a selfish thing.0
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If he cares really cares about you, he would be supportive of your passion to stay healthy on MFP! He might be afraid of your success. Everyone that is a true friend of mine supports me on MFP. Good Luck!0
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The "obsessive logging" subsides over time as you learn to eat more healthily and it becomes habit. I was attached to my phone when I started MFP 11 months ago. I still log now, but I don't have to look everything up in the database before ingesting it.
On another note, he sounds a little controlling himself.0 -
I dont think you are being obsessive at all! It sounds like the issue may lie with your partner possibly being insecure. I love mfp and if i just did food averages i wouldnt have made as much progress as i have. Just my thoughts and hope this helps!0
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She is 5'7" and 134 pounds, maybe he has reason to be concerned about her health. Remember we are hearing just one side of the debate.0
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She is 5'7" and 134 pounds, maybe he has reason to be concerned about her health. Remember we are hearing just one side of the debate.
This ^^0 -
He may be jealous of your time. Some people want lots and lots of attention and get mad if someone or something else is getting it instead. Stay strong, do what you need to do. He'll get over it.0
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My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
Does your partner struggle with weight issues? Does he workout? Is it possible that this would be some of his own insecurities showing? It has been my experience that this type of reaction is tied to their own insecurities. This is your journey, if logging every thing your eat and drink helps you stay on track than I would suggest staying the course. It is important to surround yourself with like minded people, not people that may purposely or inadvertently derail your fitness goals. Just my two cents, wishing you much success in reaching and surpassing all of your fitness goals!0 -
She is 5'7" and 134 pounds, maybe he has reason to be concerned about her health. Remember we are hearing just one side of the debate.
A lot of people here track calories to make sure they are eating enough to gain weight also.
Oh and the just "eat clean" and exercise can work for sure but I MUCH prefer to eat the majority "clean" and still know that I can fit in "junk" here and there and it will not affect health/physique/fat loss/muscle gain. If I wasn't tracking then I would have no way of knowing this.0 -
that has happened quite a bit...for us it came down to me losing weight and him not and a little jealousy. I try to make him more important than mfp and try not to log when he is talking to me or wants attention~It should get better girl! ~corina0
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This ^^^ is exactly what I wanted to say. You're in "school" of sorts to learn how to feed yourself correctly. Hope he can understand that.MFP is an education tool. The 'obsessive' logging eases off and will be replaced by 'normal people' healthy eating and exercise once you become more innately aware of the values of what you're eating. Hubby just needs to understand that the obsessive logging is just a part of the education process to living a overall long term healthy lifestyle.0 -
It's about you, not him! Do want makes you feel good, and if it means doing MFP, then do it. It keeps you honest and on track. It's good for you!!0
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In no uncertain terms, tell him to... well you know. It's not just about logging everything. It's more about the support network you have here. Yes, logging is important, and I disagree with him. We are all very different, and when he says be like "normal" people, you should ask him to define that for you.... see how he defines it... I BET HE CAN'T. Yes we can all get obsessed with logging, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It lets me know what works for me and what doesn't it. It holds me accountable. Not only to myself, but to my tremendous friends and support network on here. So you tell him this.... you ask him to replace all of the support you receive on here, and if he can do that, then agree to change.... I guarantee he cannot and will not match the support you receive from your MFP friends, because he's not going through the same thing you and your support network are. So he doesn't understand it on the same level.0
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Man, mine would be out on the damn street if he EVER criticized me for doing something that worked.
Lol on the damn street for questioning her actions!
He may well be the nicest guy in the world who questioned whether her actions were a little obsessive. That's it! It's all over! How dare he!
Why did you and your partner split up, affair?
No he is totally trustworthy
'did he beat you?'
No way, as gentle as a lamb
'gamble away your money?'
No, he's great with money
Nasty to your friends?
Oh no, they all think he's great
What then?
Well he expressed concerns about me becoming too obsessive about the calories
OUT ON THE DAMN STREET!!!
LMAO0 -
logging everything is what works
end of argument
lol
good luck0 -
I agree!What you'll find is that the more you get used to knowing how many cals are in each thing, the less meticulous you'll become in logging because you'll be quite good at estimating how much you've had.
At the beginning it's a bit intense tracking everything but I mellowed out and now track but don't obsess about food like I used too. There will be good days not so good days.
I don't agree with everyone using the word jealously here. You know yourself better than any of us, there are some ppl that perhaps should use another method of watching what they eat. I know I used to get way overboard over everything and it got pretty bad to the point eating anything made me feel guilty. As I said only you know what your eating habits are and if you're here for the right reasons. What do I mean by that? There are some on here that have suggested (by docs, nutritionists, counselors etc...who ever they have discussed this with) they no longer track every bite because it's harming them in negative way.
Check in with Funky Spunky she's shared a lot in regards to this during her time here. She started the site at 15 and is now 19 and has shared her story, it might be helpful to make contact with her to hear in her words how constant tracking effected her.
Before anyone jumps up waving their arms, this is example of how it effects some, but personally I don't believe it has to do with MFP itself in the slightest, but more how we handle things within using a site of any type.
If we come to this site looking to 'diet' our way to weight loss then it'll simply be just another diet of many. Using MFP as it's intended, a healthy way to track, share, learn nutrition etc., a person can meet goals and stay healthy.
These are simply my thoughts, when someone uses the word obsessive, it can mean nothing or it can be pretty serious issue, again, depending on the individual and their relationship with food.
Take care!:flowerforyou:0 -
Hi,
I would try it for a week, like you said. MFP is a tool, something that we can use to track our fitness and dietary goals, it's not something that we need to live by. If you have to log every single morsel of food that you are consuming because otherwise you feel guilty and it is taking away the pleasure of eating something and/or sharing that meal with the ones you love (ie, ur boyfriend) then maybe he is right (though it doesn't seem like he went the right way about telling you).
The fact that you are asking is enough for me to think that you need a break. Even if it is just for a week. When you become obsessed with what you eat your life revolves around food, when and what your are putting in your mouth. Food is fuel for our bodies so that we can enjoy what life is really about, being and enjoying every second that God has gifted us with, to be with the ones we love.
Just a thought.....0 -
I'd say it depends on how much time you spend on logging your food. Do you feel compelled to take your salad apart, logging every slice of cucumber, radish and lettuce leaf? And do you jump up before the two of you have finished eating to do your food diary, or worse yet, do you sit at the computer while you are eating, logging it in? I speak from experience here!
Also, if you are putting together meals that takes just minor tweaking, (say, if you chose to have an orange instead of an apple for your fruit), then that cuts back on the time considerably. Under the meal section, I also did put the ingredients for a tossed salad with my fave dressing, since I eat that fairly regularly, and that makes it easy to add to whatever else I'm eating.
Another thought...ask him to describe why he thinks what you are doing is obsessive. He could be right, or on the other hand, he could profit from your explanation. Best wishes!0
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