Partner hates me using MFP :(
Replies
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Man, mine would be out on the damn street if he EVER criticized me for doing something that worked.
Lol on the damn street for questioning her actions!
He may well be the nicest guy in the world who questioned whether her actions were a little obsessive. That's it! It's all over! How dare he!
Why did you and your partner split up, affair?
No he is totally trustworthy
'did he beat you?'
No way, as gentle as a lamb
'gamble away your money?'
No, he's great with money
Nasty to your friends?
Oh no, they all think he's great
What then?
Well he expressed concerns about me becoming too obsessive about the calories
OUT ON THE DAMN STREET!!!
LMAO
ROFL!!0 -
He sounds a bit immature and controlling.....do what you like, if it helps you!0
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I agree with Eileen. I find that it helps to pre-plan my meals early in the day and adjust accordingly as needed...0
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My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
No...he thinks it's just a walk in the park. Tell him to get over himself and stop getting in your business. It's your body and your health and you'll take care of it how you please.0 -
But this is a very positive compulsive behavior!
(My husband and I were just talking about this!
He doesn't log in or anything but knows I do and fully supports me
for doing it.)0 -
TIME FOR A NEW SUPPORTIVE PARTNER! TELL HIM TO KISS OFF!0
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Tell him to go screw..it's your body, your goals, your life. Do what works for you.0
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Is he jealous of your success with MFP? I would not try to guess at anything I'm eating because chances are I won't get it right especial if there is no nutritional info. But there has got to be a reason for his objection to MFP. You are not obsessed to the point of ignoring him are you? I mean does he feel like you chose this site over him? He should praise you for finding something that keeps you healthy and in his life longer. Maybe he could benefit from using this site.0
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Logging mints sounds obsessive to me. I chew gum all day and im not logging it. I don't think food is bad its just bad if you eat too much and don't exercise / move. I think once you get your nutrition down and get comfortable eating the proper foods you don't need to log everything. One day here or there going over your goal is actually good for you.
I don't log every little thing nor do I log every day. Its easy to become obsessed with food macros, exercise calories, body weight, etc.
Sounds like hes feeling left out if you are spending a lot of time on the computer. Try to include him or try to log things at time that doesnt seem like your whole day is being on the computer logging food and such.0 -
You are smart to log every BLT ( bites , licks & taste) they can really add up0
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isn't the average "normal person" american considered obese lately? our country is in a health crisis right now. i applaud anyone on here. stick with it. ppl lose weight differently and for different reasons. don't be discouraged!
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My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
He's probably actually just worried about what is going to happen when you reach the end of your journey and about who you might meet on here with the same goals as you that you might decide to run away with. People get insecure sometimes. It might help to reassure him that you aren't doing this for anyone other than yourself and that you are not planning on leaving once you reach your goal.0 -
Talk to him about it and try to explain that it's not that you are obsessive, it's just something you are very passionate about and something you care about. 0
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IF obsessive means you make your goal weight,,,,,, THEN be obsessive.0
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- Are you spending too much time on MFP and he is not getting enough attention from you ?
- Is he insecure ?
- You could also tell him facts like people who strictly note down what they eat are 15% more likely to loose weight that people who just exercise. But I doubt if this will help your situation mostly likely it is one of the above.0 -
I began my journey not long before you - 4th January 2012 and initially it is an exciting new tool whereby I would do the same by logging every little thing and on the forums 24/7! I would have my scales out on the bench and weigh everything and my diet dictated my meals each day - particularly dinner. Now my partner gave me his full support, but I could see and he did mention a few times the repetitiveness of 'our' dinner meals and even with him having more or something else extra on his plate, they were getting a bit bland and boring (considering he didn't want to lose weight, he is trying to put on weight/muscle). So I could sympathise sometimes, and I also had to support him as he was supporting me. Luckily I wasn't (and still not) extreme in terms of 'eating clean' - I like to just eat healthily, enjoy a burger or pizza slice etc every now and then as I want to still enjoy life and join in on social gatherings, I just try to watch my portion sizes and I still log everything (on the very odd occasion I may not log just so I can really enjoy myself with my friends rather than thinking about "how many cals in that" and on my phone every 10 mins! It's not about going CRAZY but I can if I really want to.
I would just sit down with him and speak reasonably to him. Tell him your goals and why you're doing this (even if he already knows it) and ask him straight up why it is bothering him so much. You'll lose the weight a lot easier and a lot more happily if you can sympathise with each other and work out a plan or strategy together in order to you both being happy. If you feel it's more of a self-conscious thing and he's worried he's going to lose you if you drop the pounds, then I would reassure him of your feelings and tell him this is something you're doing for your own self confidence etc.
Good luck. 0 -
My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
I don't know what is going in your mind. If you are dealing with mental illnesses then you may want to talk to a doctor. Looks like you found your compulsive disorder using this service.0 -
He is right. I rarely log coffee. A mint? Are you serious? Only log stuff that really matters. Unless you're eating pounds of mints, there is no need. If your coffee has a tsp of cream in it then dont worry about logging. A cup of coffee with 50 cals of cream will not halt weight loss. Mind you that's alot of cream in one cup.My partner and I have just had a huge row over me using MFP - he says it is making me obsessive and doesn't understand why I can't just eat healthily and exercise like 'normal people'. I log everything, down to a mint or cup of coffee, and he thinks it is crazy. I love MFP, it helps me stay on track and I know that without it I would over eat because I wouldn't be so conscious, but now I am thinking maybe I should stop using it and see how I go just estimating calories and exercise - or as he suggests stop thinking about it and just 'exercise and stay away from burgers' - what do you guys think? Anyone ever feel like logging everything is a bit obsessive?
Now, if you're drinking 10 cups a day, then thats 500 calories. Log it. 1 to 2 cups a day? Don't even bother.0 -
Well this is just my opinion. I wasn't logging all those hidden calories and I was wondering why I wasn't losing. I went to visit my sister and we entered everything we ate and cream and sugar in our coffee and yes even our mints. After I started entereing everything I started losing. I also started walking a bit more.
I relapsed this summer and didn't do very well.but I'm back on track. Going to Jamaica in December and I just need to lose at least 12 lbs., 16 would surely be better and my clothes would fit much better and of course I would feel better.
Drinking more water is another big factor. If you drink at least 4 glasses of water it will increase your metabolism.
Good luck in your weight loss journey and just be true to you.0 -
As is stated before, it's about moderation. If you're drinking tons of coffee with cream and sugar, log it. 1 to 2 cups will not hinder weight loss.Well this is just my opinion. I wasn't logging all those hidden calories and I was wondering why I wasn't losing. I went to visit my sister and we entered everything we ate and cream and sugar in our coffee and yes even our mints. After I started entereing everything I started losing. I also started walking a bit more.
I relapsed this summer and didn't do very well.but I'm back on track. Going to Jamaica in December and I just need to lose at least 12 lbs., 16 would surely be better and my clothes would fit much better and of course I would feel better.
Drinking more water is another big factor. If you drink at least 4 glasses of water it will increase your metabolism.
Good luck in your weight loss journey and just be true to you.0 -
Definitely don't stop using MFP because he doesn't like it. Make it clear to him that this is something that you're doing for yourself, and that is helping you. As your partner he should encourage you in your goals, and something as simple as using a website to track your food isn't a big deal.
But at the same time, if it's cutting into your time with him or friends or family, you have to acknowledge that. When you and him are having dinner together, are you using your phone to log your food right then and there? Is it interrupting actual face to face interaction? Because I could understand why that's frustrating to him. (Although if it's not interfering with his life or your time with him in any way then he's the one with a problem).0 -
I cannot believe all the assumptions the partner is a he........a partner can mean a lot of things. Talk to your partner and explain the concept behind logging and the accountability that follows. Maybe even try to involve your partner.....not for weight control but for nutrition balance. This is a healthy obsession and a road to a new awakening on health and well being. Good luck! 0
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I agree!What you'll find is that the more you get used to knowing how many cals are in each thing, the less meticulous you'll become in logging because you'll be quite good at estimating how much you've had.
At the beginning it's a bit intense tracking everything but I mellowed out and now track but don't obsess about food like I used too. There will be good days not so good days.
I don't agree with everyone using the word jealously here. You know yourself better than any of us, there are some ppl that perhaps should use another method of watching what they eat. I know I used to get way overboard over everything and it got pretty bad to the point eating anything made me feel guilty. As I said only you know what your eating habits are and if you're here for the right reasons. What do I mean by that? There are some on here that have suggested (by docs, nutritionists, counselors etc...who ever they have discussed this with) they no longer track every bite because it's harming them in negative way.
Check in with Funky Spunky she's shared a lot in regards to this during her time here. She started the site at 15 and is now 19 and has shared her story, it might be helpful to make contact with her to hear in her words how constant tracking effected her.
Before anyone jumps up waving their arms, this is example of how it effects some, but personally I don't believe it has to do with MFP itself in the slightest, but more how we handle things within using a site of any type.
If we come to this site looking to 'diet' our way to weight loss then it'll simply be just another diet of many. Using MFP as it's intended, a healthy way to track, share, learn nutrition etc., a person can meet goals and stay healthy.
These are simply my thoughts, when someone uses the word obsessive, it can mean nothing or it can be pretty serious issue, again, depending on the individual and their relationship with food.
Take care!:flowerforyou:
This is a very good point and why I posted above, it's hard to say what's truly going on in someone else's life from one post. Some are assuming he's jealous, some that he's controlling, needs to get lost etc. etc.She is 5'7" and 134 pounds, maybe he has reason to be concerned about her health. Remember we are hearing just one side of the debate.
It's getting a bit ridiculous since none of us know the reality of it but her and likely him to some extent. If you're here to maintain, go for it. But if you're looking to lose I can definitely see why he's concerned!0 -
I would be annoyed if my partner were logging stuff at the table or during our time together. I think you should set a time during the day that you get on here so that you don't get burnt out. Maybe try to include him in MFP or motivate him to create an account. I know you have found a new past time but maybe give him a little attention. He doesn't sound like a bad guy!!! I don't know where people get off saying that. He probably loves you and just needs a little extra attention. Hey, maybe he's a bit insecure. Maybe not. You can figure this one out on your own. I mean, posting about your problems with him on MFP is not going to help his problem with you spending too much time on here. Seems counter productive.0
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No!0
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Had to laugh at this. My wife immediately signed up for MFP when she saw me using it and does it alongside me. If anything she's even more obsessive about it than I am even though she has no weight to lose imo.
Sounds like you've just managed to find a real loser. I can't see myself ever having a reaction other than being 100% supportive
LIKE THIS!!!0 -
If we could eat normally & not get obsessive we would not need MFP!! If he wants you to be healthy & happy then he will cheer you on but make sure you are spending quality time with him & not getting into the chat rooms while he is around more than you have to.....0
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I'm staggered as to many of the responses on here! Essentially her partner has supported her weight loss and healthy lifestyle by suggesting she eats better and exercises - but thinks she is 'crazy' to log every single mint etc. Wow what a horrible person he must be!!!
So this guy has now been labelled a 'real loser'
HE has been called obsessive
She has been told to ditch him
She has been told to kick him out on the street
He has been told to mind his own business (his partners health and well being isn't his business???)
He has been labelled jealous and controlling
He has been called a douche
he has been called insecure
Many many others!
The other day my wife suggested that I was overdoing it down the gym - should I ditch her? She is trying to control me! She is such a loser! Oh man, maybe she's jealous of the girls down my gym! Hold on - what's it got to do with her anyway, she should mind her own damn business!0 -
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So strange that people get upset about these things. It isn't just the fact of logging, you are surrounded by alot of people on here struggling with the same things as you and so many people here to support you in your journey, how can that be a bad thing? lol I have never been as successful as I am now and I know alot of that has to do with having the support of this site.
I know when you start logging, you can be a little fanatical, I think alot of people are because you want to make sure you account for every calorie to ensure you are doing what you can to get to your goals. After a while, you will find you may tone down a bit. I used to make sure I logged everything right after I eat, and now i just try and make sure I get it all in, even if it is a day or so later. The accounability you place on yourself to do these things helps alot. Before I started MFP and logging on here, I was meticulous about logging, made my own log journals and wrote every little thing down. Did it for four months straight and started to struggle and I stopped logging and I fell off track. MFP got me back on track and back to logging all the time, but this time I'm not as anal about it. You will find an inbetween eventually. And like I said, I love this site more for the community then the logging. I love that I have friends that have some of the same medical issues and know my struggles and are here to support me, just as I am for them.
When you have had to lose weight on your own, you don't realize how much support actually makes a difference. And this support is free! Don't let your partner get you down, they may just feel left out and want more attention from you, so maybe they just need something to blame it on. Try explaining why it is so important for you to be on here and hopefully they will come around. You are doing this for you, to live healthy and to be that way for you AND your partner and in the end I am sure they will appreciate the new healthy you
Good luck and hang in there
This is SUCH a wonderful response!!! I seem to have a longer-than-expected learning curve with these chats, so I apologize to the person who wrote this.... for not listing your name with your response. But really, sound, solid, awesome advice here....0
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