CHEATING

I have been married 9yrs and he has never cheated on me, nor I have ever cheated on him. I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation and honestly hope I never have to find out.

First off there is no excuse for cheating. If he feels like he can't save it for his wife, then he has no reason to be married.

Secondly, you are an adult, you have a child of your own. Break away from the umbilical cord that you are still attached to with your mother. It's ok to have a good relationship with your mother, but she can't force you to do anything. You are your own person. This is something I'm trying to teach my 9yr old son right now. When he tells me someone made him do something, no one held a gun to his head, no one made him do things he knows not to be right, he has his own head, he did his own thing. Your mother might have wanted this badly for you and wants it badly to work for you, but your mother is not the one suffering and in the end, as a mother all we want is for our kids to be happy and healthy. Living in this kind of marriage is not happy nor is it healthy. So what if she gets mad, she is not having to deal with this.

My husband is a recovering porn addict. Yes, most men look at porn but porn is not healthy and I don't care what anyone says on that, it isn't. It rots the brain and is very unhealthy in a relationship. My husband and I have had many of fights over this. Our love life is just now becoming a more normal love life. I really rather not go into all that on here, just know that porn can do some real damage to peoples head's. My husband is just now starting to realize the damage and the hold it has had over him.

No one can tell you weather you should stay or go, we are not living in that, you are. Do you think you should leave him? Do you think he will do it again? Do you want to forgive him? Do you love him enough to save your marriage?

We can't answer that for you. Best of luck!

You're right, and the reason I want my mom to agree with my choice is because I need support. I will need somewhere to go..

Hi guys!
I had told him yesterday that I wanted a separation and he got really mad grabbed me and tried to get my phone away from me, and kicked me out..So I am now staying at my aunts in the next county over, He is saying he still wants to work things out, but I have no interest. But now I am starting to feel bad and feel like he could change. Although I have to keep reminding myself that isn't how it is!!

Any level of deception is an abuse of trust in a relationship. There is a constant push pull in relationships and balance need to be worked towards daily.

In many relationships physical intimacy becomes a no go for many legitimate reasons so how can you define the whole basis of whether or not a couple stay together on one act? Is it that important.

What I mean is I am not with my partner for what goes on in the bedroom. It's such a small part. I would not throw away what we have for one indiscretion. Depending on the situation I can't say I could rebuild from that but I don't see it as straight cut black and white.

Many comments talk about how important relationships are and the deeper levels of relationships but we are saying that one small physical slip up is worth throwing 1000's of memories away for rather than trying to resolve the issue that made the cheater think their actions were ok.

I don't condone cheating but I think some people are so blind sighted and throwing your judgment of ' run away one some one cheats' can be a lot of pressure for a young girl in a new marriage.

If you want to work at your relationship once a partner has cheated I say good on you. It doesn't make you a doormat.

I know in this girls case there's a huge back story but I felt the comments in reply to cheating were a little one sided.

Hi guys!
I had told him yesterday that I wanted a separation and he got really mad grabbed me and tried to get my phone away from me, and kicked me out..So I am now staying at my aunts in the next county over, He is saying he still wants to work things out, but I have no interest. But now I am starting to feel bad and feel like he could change. Although I have to keep reminding myself that isn't how it is!!

I was friends with his "ex" he dated her for about a month or two and it was a year before we met. I started becoming friends with her when her and I had gotten pregnant around the same time. I thought nothing of it to be friends with her. They both stated that they had no feelings for each other, and that was that, I TRUSTED both of them. Well, she stayed a night when my now husband was working night turn. It was fun to have a friend, who had a baby and understood what it was like. She had stayed two more times after that. The one time, she had stay and my husband got up to "get a drink". My reason for putting it that way is because you could set a bomb off and he wouldn't wake up. It was both times she stayed he needed a "drink" Well the first time she stayed he went down to get a drink and I went downstairs accusing him of doing stuff with her. Come to find out she tells me he tried to kiss her. The next time she stayed, we were all sleeping in the same bed, i was in the middle, this was before we were married, and I felt bad, and didn't want her sleeping on the couch, Well, i couldn't sleep and she ends up laying on his cheast, again, didn't think anything of it. We;;, she goes downstairs, and he follows, she then tells me that he asked her to have sex ith her in the downstairs bathroom. I had gone to sleep, because again,I trusted then. So the beginning of August, I went to the beach and he stayed home due to working, I took our 1yr old son with me, well two days after leaving drives 30 minutes to meet her at 10pm, to kiss her, and hold her down trying to get into her pants(her story, he only told me about the kiss) so the day I find out about this, I found porn on the history, so I called him at work and asked him about it he lied to me 3 timed before telling the truth, so I called my sister and asked her to come get me that I would like to stay with her for a few days, well in the meantime, he was texting my step cousin's gf and lying about who it was and deleting messages..I asked him about it and he said that he wanted to prove i go through his phone, and then the real reason was because he wanted attention. As he was trying to figure out where I was he calls my friend and asks he, I didn't tell her where I was, so she called me, and told me she had to tell me something, and I asked her what, and she said maybe I shouldn't tell you, well i begged her, and that's when i found out about what happened while i was away. So he called me, and is tarted screaming st him, asking him about what he did, he lied of course and demanded to know where i was, so my friend 3 wayed him, and he asked her why she couldn't keep her mouth shut.
So i went back to our apartment that night, and I cried all night, how could he do this to me?!
I decided i was going to stayed at my sisters for a few weeks, but of course we saw each other everyday, due to him wanting to see our son.
I am back at the apartment again, and in fact I spend the night at my sister's the other night because I'm not happy and I don't think I can find it in myself to forgive.
My mom on the other hand, feels we need to make it work and I'm full of ****, i am so happy, and she's giving me no choice but to stay. She says "porn is normal, nothing to worry about" and him talk to his mom about me is okay it will pass, and him calling me names and putting me down, that's okay and that will change. I'm just fed up.
We were going to counsiling, but I felt that he was putting too much focus on me and not trying to figure out why my husband did what he did, so i am looking for another, i just feel no amount of "help" will help.

and i will be honest, I am sometimes not the nicest to him, but everyone does stuff to make you mad, right?

Hey Everyone!
I split from my "husband" on September 21st, so we have been separated for about 3 months. It feels like so much longer! Since then I have gotten a job, and I am starting school in January. I'm happy, most of the time, and I actually have friends! I feel that this has ONLY made me a stronger person. Him and I went to court over our son, and we have a 50/50 schedule. The divorce is going to go through on January 5th. Since we have been split, I went over to his place to get my stuff, and he picked me up and threw me out literally in front of my son. I have finally gotten most of my stuff back, and I filed for support. It's so sad to think things have to be this way, but I know deep down I will be okay and things will take time, getting my own place, getting through school, getting a better car. I have heard that he has a girlfriend, and I feel at this point, the nest thing he can do is getting her knocked up! Good luck to her because he will only do the samething! He said to me last night, he wants me to just give my son to him, he thinks it would help since I am working, and going to school, and I wanna have "fun" He's crazy if he thinks I will do that.!! I just thought I should give ya'll an update, just so you don't think I'm dead somewhere in a ditch(: