Answering "How Did You Lose Weight? HELP

13

Replies

  • brandiuntz
    brandiuntz Posts: 2,717 Member
    Twinkie Diet.

    Do you eat the Twinkies, or are you trying to attract the Twinkies? :bigsmile:

    Clearly, you eat them. That's not how everyone else lost weight?:noway:
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
    "well, there's this one weird trick to losing weight fast. For $29.99 I can tell you!"

    If by any chance anyone pays you... The weird trick is eat less than you burn.
  • Shrinking_Stacey
    Shrinking_Stacey Posts: 100
    One word, two syllables..TAPEWORM..The disgusted look on their face makes it hard not to giggle but it's SO WORTH IT! Good luck:)
  • Presleyforpresident
    Presleyforpresident Posts: 172
    I went on the butter diet and calories don't count if you eat in the dark because you can't see them
    :sick:
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    Married Jillian Micheals.... Hahahaha. WOW.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    "I stopped making excuses."
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    I Purge after each meal.

    Side effect of my meth use (cocaine use ...).

    But I like your Jillian Michaels response.

    A little off the subject, but I double dog dare you that if someone tells you that you're getting too skinny to respond with, oh yeah, well you're getting too fat!
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    "well, there's this one weird trick to losing weight fast. For $29.99 I can tell you!"

    If by any chance anyone pays you... The weird trick is eat less than you burn.

    LOVE this!
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    I Purge after each meal.

    Side effect of my meth use (cocaine use ...).

    But I like your Jillian Michaels response.

    A little off the subject, but I double dog dare you that if someone tells you that you're getting too skinny to respond with, oh yeah, well you're getting too fat!

    dont double dog dare me, you know I will do it!! lol
  • chanson104
    chanson104 Posts: 859
    I Purge after each meal.

    Side effect of my meth use (cocaine use ...).

    But I like your Jillian Michaels response.

    A little off the subject, but I double dog dare you that if someone tells you that you're getting too skinny to respond with, oh yeah, well you're getting too fat!
    Precisely :wink:
    dont double dog dare me, you know I will do it!! lol
  • Shrinking_Stacey
    Shrinking_Stacey Posts: 100
    Or you could just say, "The Jenny Crank Diet"...I see that one A LOT. That meth monster, she's a cruel b!tch!
  • aprus5542
    aprus5542 Posts: 81
    Based on your knowledge of the Algerian Pineapple diet and your recent marriage to Ms. Michaels (I hope her partner is ok with that) perhaps these other techniques might justify what healthy eating and exercise cannot. ;)


    - Use a loofah and scrub off the dead skin cells. They're extra weight, you know. O.o

    - Chew each mouthful of food exactly 237 times. EACH mouthful of food, including ice cream and coffee. Think of all of the calories burned by all of that chewing!

    - Avoid eating foods that come in primary colors. No red, yellow, or blue foods. (No magenta, yellow, or cyan if you're talking to a artists. Red, green, and blue if your audience is well versed in light.) Secondary colors are ok and tertiary colors are the most nutritious.

    - Eating food in alphabetical order. This way, your body can process it better. Never eat zucchini before an apple. It'll get turned to fat almost immediately.

    - Only eating what you can attach to piece of string attached to a stick attached to your head. It's the carrot on the stick diet. Works wonders, is a little weird in public and makes it impossible to enjoy soup.

    Hope those suggestions are ridiculous enough. :)

    THIS hahahahaha
  • michellevine1
    michellevine1 Posts: 185 Member
    Tell them you ate a skinny person. Everyone knows you are what you eat.
    tumblr_lnbhmfco0J1qksp3lo1_400.jpg

    Hahahahaha - that was too funny.
    Totally agree! :)
    Have some fun with the response.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
    I'm seriously going to start using the one about snorting Sensa. :laugh:
  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
    I usually tell them I swim daily but if they persist in seeking more exciting answers, I tell them it's all the coke fuelled sex
  • Casey45
    Casey45 Posts: 160 Member
    Tell them you had a terrible year. Ended up needing a lift for your spirits, became a meth addict. Just got out of rehab and have gained back 40 pounds already.
  • RyleeNoelle
    RyleeNoelle Posts: 361
    Tell them that you're involved in a charity that sucks out the fat of obese/overweight Americans, and ships it overseas to be injected into the malnourished bodies of those starving in the third world.
  • jazee11
    jazee11 Posts: 321
    In 2008 I lost a significant amount of weight and was back at my goal weight. Everyone kept asking how I did it. I finally just started telling everyone it was due to liposuction and psychotherapy.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    Tell them you became breatharian

    http://www.breatharian.com/
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    "Honestly, I just started getting laid more often..."
  • maremare312
    maremare312 Posts: 1,143 Member
    "I got an awesome intestinal worm"

    "My wife started cooking more"
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
    My sister asked me if I had surgery on my face. Uh, no.

    It's because people don't understand that it can be relatively easy, and very safe...it's not very much time once you learn the system and listen to your own body.

    I say that I followed recommended serving sizes on all foods except for green vegetables, I doubled or tripled those because I like to eat food.

    After you get the food rhythm, it's on to the next challenge---exercise. Looking back, and investing one year so far, i would have to say that I could have done this years ago. But then again--timing is everything.
  • sunnyshine1313
    sunnyshine1313 Posts: 112 Member
    The new "Las Vegas Diet" - Blackjack & Hookers

    This is great!
  • ang3h
    ang3h Posts: 185 Member
    LOL.. Algerian pineapple diet.
  • akjmart2002
    akjmart2002 Posts: 263 Member
    Hookers and blow.
  • NautiLife
    NautiLife Posts: 22
    I eat in front of a full body mirror naked. It makes it easier for me to put the pizza down. When I stop wanting to vommit I'll know I'm close to bringing sexy back.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Usually, I go with "You know, masturbating burns A LOT of calories...":wink:
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
    The lettuce and carrot diet. The side affect is that your nose starts twitching like a rabbit's

    Meth fueled marathons

    2 hour orgies once or twice week.

    kangaroo training

    Giving blood twice a week. Body breaks down fat to make more blood!

    Fight Club (but you can't talk about it)

    Mild electroshock therapy that repeatedly flexes every muscle in your body

    15 different surgeries to suck out fat and inject muscle

    Drink 5 gallons of water a day
  • gbbhey
    gbbhey Posts: 188
    Tape Worm. Or Hypnosis
  • amazing_shrinking_woman
    amazing_shrinking_woman Posts: 66 Member
    "Blow has no calories and the sex is great exercise"

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