Answering "How Did You Lose Weight? HELP

I like Arthur dent's answer from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

"Oh yes," said Arthur, "thank you. And slowly," he said, pressing onward, "slowly, slowly slowly, all your excess body fat ... turns ... to" -- he paused for effect -- "subcoo ... subyoo ... subtoocay" -- he paused for breath -- "subcutaneous gold, which you can have surgically removed. Getting out of the tank is hell. What did you say?"

http://www.american-buddha.com/hitchhikersolong3.htm

What I do is get a kinda crazy look on my face and say "I've logged every single morsel that has entered my mouth for the last 8 months. What have you done this year?"

Other options

-Devil came by and y'know - having a soul is overrated

-Why don't you come up to my room and I'll show you. (Bonus - creepy with either gender!)

-I'm sorry - the agreement was that I couldn't tell anybody.

-I eat 3 tablespoons of the finest topsoil every night. It's amazing how your body responds to getting enough minerals.

An Exacto knife and shop vac :noway: :laugh:

Hookers and blow is always a funny response :P

YES!! I vote for this one!!!

I have a magic mud puddle in my backyard. Every morning before I do anything else I go out and slurp from said puddle. Then pounds have just melted away! Best thing: I only charge $5.99 per visit for anyone else who would like to imbibe!

Say this:

I eat in front of a full body mirror naked. It makes it easier for me to put the pizza down. When I stop wanting to vommit I'll know I'm close to bringing sexy back.

LMAO hahahaahah!

Tell 'em the Purina Dog Food Diet worked great for you until you stopped to scratch your ear in the middle of the street and got hit by a car.

hahhahahahah funny one!!:bigsmile:

"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you"

or

"illicit drugs"

or

"I only eat blue food"

or

"I only eat when a politician tells the truth".

Enjoy!

Tell them that you're involved in a charity that sucks out the fat of obese/overweight Americans, and ships it overseas to be injected into the malnourished bodies of those starving in the third world.

win. lol

Your miracle diet tip is Miracle Whip. Little known fact but the enzymes in Miracle Whip break down food so that it can pass through the body unabsorbed. But to work, it must be added to every morsel of food. Pancakes for breakfast? Slather them with Miracle Whip. Spaghetti with marinara for supper? Big dollup of Miracle Whip.

Ice cream, fruit loops, mocha lattes...doesn't matter. If you don't want to wear it later, you'll Miracle Whip it!