Impossible to eat healthy when in debt
Replies
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YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR EVERY SUGGESTION MADE, TO DATE.
(anyone else see this?)
I HAVE A SOLUTION:
MOVE THE HELL OUT (taking your portion of the debt with you, leave her with her own), THEN YOU CAN EAT HEALTHY and not worry about your "overweight, money-hungry" wife.
PROBLEM: SOLVED.0 -
I am sensitive to being in debt so I understand where your wife is coming from but also there is no need to sacrafice health either. There are lots of healthy options that dont cost a lot. Meat is spendy. Maybe it is time to cut it out until it is affordable. Think homemade cornbread and vegetarian chili (rice, beans, cheap veggies). For $10 you could make enough for at least 2 days.
Homemade ww banana pancakes and eggs... like $5 for all you can eat0 -
I don't have any real advise but I understand the frustration of dealing with an uncooperative spouse. My bf used to do all the food shopping and cooking. I had no idea how to cook. We had plenty of arguments over it and he even admitting sabotaging me. I eventually refused to eat when he served crap and went to bed without dinner a few times. He finally saw that I wasn't giving in and would have my way. I did well, lost 40 lbs until I gave up and started eating badly and stopped working out. This time around, I'm in control of all the food as he's now a truck driver.
I would take a stand and let them eat how they want but you eat how you want. Perhaps you could be inspirational to her.0 -
Sorry, you're probably going to have to do the shopping and, hence, the cooking. That gives you control over the llong-range meal planning--and that's what it takes to eat well on a budget. Costco just offered $4.00 on frozen 3 pound bags of frozen salmon a couple weeks ago--so I bought as many as I could fit into my freezer. You'd be surprised how many ways you can prepare salmon simply. My four bags will last us 2 months (we LOVE salmon). I used to buy lettuce and fruit at Costco, but find that it ends up being just too much, and not always super fresh (so into the garbage with half of it)/ So now I use Trader Joe's and a local health-oriented supermarket (that carries lots of veggies, often on special) conveniently across the street from TJ's.
Also, you might try Trader Joe's. Most people think it's expensive; but you might be very surprised at their-lower-than -he-grocery-store prices for dairy, greens, canned goods, spices, and frozen meats, and (relatively healthy) cereals and chips. And the quality and taste of the food is absolutely better. For "emergency meals", take a look through their frozen section. I just bought a frozen vegetable lasagna (4 generous servings) for about $5.00 (and even my vegetable-hating teen thinks it's tasty). Add a green salad (spring mix is $1.99/bag) and skim milk (about $2.70) and you even have cash left over for a fairly healthy dessert of fruit floes (100 calories and $1.99 for 4 servings). One rule: take a list and stick to it. TJ's also carries all kinds of wonderful chocolate covered candies and desserts that will sabotage both your budget and waistline!
Maybe you can strike a deal: 1 night out with the burgers and the rest at home? Good luck and stick to your guns.0 -
Sorry, you're probably going to have to do the shopping and, hence, the cooking. That gives you control over the llong-range meal planning--and that's what it takes to eat well on a budget. Costco just offered $4.00 on frozen 3 pound bags of frozen salmon a couple weeks ago--so I bought as many as I could fit into my freezer. You'd be surprised how many ways you can prepare salmon simply. My four bags will last us 2 months (we LOVE salmon). I used to buy lettuce and fruit at Costco, but find that it ends up being just too much, and not always super fresh (so into the garbage with half of it)/ So now I use Trader Joe's and a local health-oriented supermarket (that carries lots of veggies, often on special) conveniently across the street from TJ's.
Also, you might try Trader Joe's. Most people think it's expensive; but you might be very surprised at their-lower-than -he-grocery-store prices for dairy, greens, canned goods, spices, and frozen meats, and (relatively healthy) cereals and chips. And the quality and taste of the food is absolutely better. For "emergency meals", take a look through their frozen section. I just bought a frozen vegetable lasagna (4 generous servings) for about $5.00 (and even my vegetable-hating teen thinks it's tasty). Add a green salad (spring mix is $1.99/bag) and skim milk (about $2.70) and you even have cash left over for a fairly healthy dessert of fruit floes (100 calories and $1.99 for 4 servings). One rule: take a list and stick to it. TJ's also carries all kinds of wonderful chocolate covered candies and desserts that will sabotage both your budget and waistline!
Maybe you can strike a deal: 1 night out with the burgers and the rest at home? Good luck and stick to your guns.
I already do all the shopping and the cooking. The only thing my wife does is work a job (I'm a homemaker). The problem is when she spends my grocery money on triple payments on bills or stashing it for family trips she has planned; this dips in the "eat healthy fund" and then we start to fight when I just charge it instead because I refuse to eat unhealthy.0 -
Dude, take it to a therapist. You are obviously angry and only looking to publicly bash your family rather to than find real solutions.
I feel sorry for your family, since you've clearly stated that you think you're so much better than them.
Maybe your wife is being ultra frugal because she can see the writing on the wall.0 -
Not expensive for me. Actually, it's easier, way cheaper. I have a produce store less then a mile down the street and I never spend over $40 there on all veggies, fruit, fresh banana breads, spinach pies, etc0
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Dude, take it to a therapist. You are obviously angry and only looking to publicly bash your family rather to than find real solutions.
I feel sorry for your family, since you've clearly stated that you think you're so much better than them.
Maybe your wife is being ultra frugal because she can see the writing on the wall.
Don't psycho analyze me. People get angry and have to vent. And this is a legitimate problem that everyone has to face. Yes, this is a marriage problem more than a nutrition problem but finding out people are eating on a $80/week budget for a family of 4 is cheaper than me so maybe I'm being stubborn. The point is, don't push your opinion if you are going to be a d-bag about it. Show some respect would you?
EDIT: And no, I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's taken me 30 years to feel like I was worth anything more than dirt; do you really want to be that guy who knocks me off the little self confidence I have?0 -
I would compromise. Have a quinoa meal served with black beans one day and have a great piece of fish served with steamed frozen vegies another. There is always a compromise
Somtimes looking at rice or other whole grains that are cheaper might take precedence for a short while. Red beans and rice with frozen or canned vegies have a lot of yummy nutrients. Eggs are a really great source of cheap protein.
Not sure if you do organic, maybe you can look at a list and agree on a few ways to cut back by not worrying if it is organic. Do you have an Aldi's? Maybe you could agree to get fruits and vegies there for a while to save some money. I buy most of mine at sams but I would not recommend splurging for a membership if you don't have one.
Lots of people on here are really frugal with the meals they serve, look back and see what works with your dietary needs. Make a list of every ingredient your family can all share, figure out a few you agree not to buy often, find the cheaper substitutions on the list and compromise0 -
I see that you are in MI. Is there a Meijer there? I can hook you up with a secret shopper program there if you are interested. You get some reimbursed groceries and a fee for the shop.0
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I see that you are in MI. Is there a Meijer there? I can hook you up with a secret shopper program there if you are interested. You get some reimbursed groceries and a fee for the shop.
I would love that! I shop there weekly. Thank you!0 -
I already do all the shopping and the cooking. The only thing my wife does is work a job (I'm a homemaker). The problem is when she spends my grocery money on triple payments on bills or stashing it for family trips she has planned; this dips in the "eat healthy fund" and then we start to fight when I just charge it instead because I refuse to eat unhealthy.
You guys appear to have a number of value conflicts. She wants to pay down debt, have experiences, etc. She could probably do with some nutritional reeducation, but she's no doubt beat from her job.
You don't have sway because - as in any human relationship, unless the people involved are highly evolved and have discussed things within an inch of their lives - the one with the biggest wallet usually makes the decisions.
Now, this economy is effing awful, and lots of people aren't working, and not because it's a choice. If you guys can do that, cool, if it's been an accommodation rather than a choice, also cool. Just thinking - and this is no judgement on you, at all - that if you could do anything - part-time, small business, whatever - to bring in a few extra hundred a month, maybe the dinners would go down closer to the way you want them to, and with less stress.
If you want her to change her priorities and lifestyle, maybe you could meet her halfway. Idk. Do you care about paying down the debt as much as your wife does? Can you make yourself care about money, the way you want her to care about quinoa and health, because she DOES care about it, for the sake of the marriage?
Idk - there are people who are paid to help with this stuff, agree with those saying you guys should talk to one of them. Good luck.0 -
I am a big coupon person, and the amount of stuff I can take out a store for free or next to nothing you would be surprised, before coupons I use to go more for generics but now I can buy name brand and so much more things that I normally would turn my nose to due to the price tag0
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I used to think this and initially it did seem to cost more to eat healthy but now I have calculated and it is cheaper. We rarely eat out (by choice - because we eat so much better/cheaper at home). Check out various markets. We get some great deals on chicken, fajita meat, etc., at a local mexican market who offers great sales because they have so many customers.
We also have found a great asian market that offers produce at a fraction of some of the big grocery stores. It sounds like a pain to have to shop around, but if you just hit up some various markets you soon realize who has the cheaper of this and that. On Sundays, we usually go grocery shopping. This means hitting up Walmart for basics (bread for kids lunches, laundry soap, etc.) and then we have found two ethnic markets (Asian and Indian) as well as the mexican market! Sometimes we hit up all 4!! It's also a good time we get to chat and visit.
Also, you might try planning some menus where you can stretch your things out. For example. we buy whole chickens when on sale cheap and freeze them. From that, I can boil and chop up and make chicken salad for lunches, chicken & corn soup (a favorite in my house), and many other recipies. We also make fajitas alot too - and corn tortillas are very low cal and healthy with some chicken, tomatoes, onion, cilantro and even guacamole. And most major chain stores have frozen veggies for less than $1 a bag. If you have Kroger nearby, they have their own brand of very nice veggies -- any you can imagine for less than $1 a bag. Asparagus, brocoli, cauliflower, etc. You name it, they have it and you don't have to worry about it spoiling in the fridge - you just freeze them and pull out as needed. I use one of those customer appreciation cards from Kroger and they send me great coupons for stuff I routinely buy all the time. Every month I get a dozen free eggs in my coupon packet. Walmart matches competitors prices if you bring in sale papers from other stores. Some other chains probably do this as well. They don't advertise this, but if you bring them and ask, many do. Every little bit adds up.
I get a bag of chopped romaine lettuce from Sam's club for $3. Eating salad every day, I still end up throwing some away at the end of the week! (NOT cost effective, I know!!). I also like the big bags of Tyson grilled chicken strips or the whole chicken breast fully cooked patties. These are great to heat in the microwave and toss in salad, eat them with veggies, etc. A bag is $10 but there are 16-18 chicken breasts in there so they last a while and are very healthy.
If you like chili -- super easy to make and you can buy dried beans and soak and then toss in a crock pot with some meat or toss in a big pan and cook on high for an hour or so. This always makes enough to feed several people and still have leftovers.
^^THIS!
Planning is what makes it cheaper. Period.
/END THREAD0 -
Yes, Celiac is a problem in the family (me). Unfortunately, this has added extra strain to the family's diet/budget.
Ohhhh!!! I'm so sorry to hear that!
Right, it would add extra strain on the family budget. Do you have a breadmaker machine? Maybe you can buy a used one online and make gluten-free breads? That would help a lot in your situation.
Here's a recipe for gluten-free pasta that gets rave reviews
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Fresh-Gluten-Free-Pasta-362249
You can freeze the pasta after you make a big batch of it, you can freeze a lot of your fresh veggies too.
Stick with BULK beans & rice - you can get them in the bulk section of your local Whole Foods or health food stores.
Buy CHEAP cuts of meat and make fantastic stews that will last days - sounds like you might have to be the chef at home, it would take time to prepare but you can do this.
Oh and Cook's Illustrated said not to buy the "cheap" already cut "stew meat", buy beef or pork chuck roast meat - cheap, rough, till you stew it all day. It will last for days if you do it.
Plan ahead.
Don't buy the veggies from the HFS or WF - too expensive. Buy it from the ethnic markets or your local supermarket. Here where I live Lucky's & Safeway, usually Lucky is much better for cheap veggies.0 -
I already do all the shopping and the cooking. The only thing my wife does is work a job (I'm a homemaker). The problem is when she spends my grocery money on triple payments on bills or stashing it for family trips she has planned; this dips in the "eat healthy fund" and then we start to fight when I just charge it instead because I refuse to eat unhealthy.
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So pretty much in keeping up with this thread, everyone has offered up some really great suggestions. It looks like you may be in a tough spot since you are the homemaker and your wife outside working/earning. Maybe she feels entitled to spend how she feels necessary without considering what you want. I agree with others - this is not something you can fix on this thread.
have you tried working with one of those credit counseling agencies? And if you have a university close by, many of them have clinics available for the community at a sliding scale or very cheap rate for various counseling services, including marriage and financial.
Good luck to you both.0 -
http://budgetbytes.blogspot.com/
Has COMPLETELY changed my outlook on cooking and food budgeting. Also check out grocerygame.com. Will help find you sales, coupons that are relevant, etc.0 -
I already do all the shopping and the cooking. The only thing my wife does is work a job (I'm a homemaker). The problem is when she spends my grocery money on triple payments on bills or stashing it for family trips she has planned; this dips in the "eat healthy fund" and then we start to fight when I just charge it instead because I refuse to eat unhealthy.
I don't know ED if you're disabled, which might be the reason you are at home but if you're not disabled you've got to get a job. Anything. Because, and I'm being a bit of an armchair shrink here but it sounds like your wife might be resentful of you staying at home and not bringing in the "bread" so to speak.
Which is the underlying reason she doesn't want to eat healthy, she wants to eat out & not eat *your food*.0 -
LENTILS!0
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I don't know why this irks my nerves so much but it does... I'm not trying to come off mean and annoying like a lot of other posters on here saying "my way or the highway" kind of deal.
But the whole "eating healthy is expensive" is a load of crap.
I'm a college student and am dirt poor. It's CHEAPER to eat healthy.
I just made a homemade soup with vegetable broth, spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes that costed me a grand total of $8 to make. And that will last me 2 weeks worth of lunch or a snap. Doesn't even break 50 calories per serving.
It's making both healthy and fiscally responsible decisions.
You can eat healthy without going broke.
But beans in bulk.
Buy meat in bulk (just bought a bag of chicken from walmart that has 10+ breasts in it for $6)
etc, etc.
It is expensive. Maybe not for 1 person but try feeding a family. I feed 8-10 people at a time depending on if all of my kids are home and it is expensive. 1 bag of apples doesn't even give my family a snack. I am a very good shopper and my freezer is loaded from deals on meats I have gotten but eating healthy made our budget go to crap. I try and get fruits on sale but it is hard.0 -
I don't know why this irks my nerves so much but it does... I'm not trying to come off mean and annoying like a lot of other posters on here saying "my way or the highway" kind of deal.
But the whole "eating healthy is expensive" is a load of crap.
I'm a college student and am dirt poor. It's CHEAPER to eat healthy.
I just made a homemade soup with vegetable broth, spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes that costed me a grand total of $8 to make. And that will last me 2 weeks worth of lunch or a snap. Doesn't even break 50 calories per serving.
It's making both healthy and fiscally responsible decisions.
You can eat healthy without going broke.
But beans in bulk.
Buy meat in bulk (just bought a bag of chicken from walmart that has 10+ breasts in it for $6)
etc, etc.
THIS!0 -
I don't know why this irks my nerves so much but it does... I'm not trying to come off mean and annoying like a lot of other posters on here saying "my way or the highway" kind of deal.
But the whole "eating healthy is expensive" is a load of crap.
I'm a college student and am dirt poor. It's CHEAPER to eat healthy.
I just made a homemade soup with vegetable broth, spinach, mushrooms, and tomatoes that costed me a grand total of $8 to make. And that will last me 2 weeks worth of lunch or a snap. Doesn't even break 50 calories per serving.
It's making both healthy and fiscally responsible decisions.
You can eat healthy without going broke.
But beans in bulk.
Buy meat in bulk (just bought a bag of chicken from walmart that has 10+ breasts in it for $6)
etc, etc.
It is expensive. Maybe not for 1 person but try feeding a family. I feed 8-10 people at a time depending on if all of my kids are home and it is expensive. 1 bag of apples doesn't even give my family a snack. I am a very good shopper and my freezer is loaded from deals on meats I have gotten but eating healthy made our budget go to crap. I try and get fruits on sale but it is hard.
But can you feed them cheaper at the drive through? Rather than a bag of apples you can drive through a burger place and get each of them a burger(or order of fries) and you'll spend more than for the apples.
Feeding lots of people inexpensively is easier if you make large, filling meals. A pot of bean that feeds 10 people will cost you $2. Brown rice.....about the same. Roast 3 chickens and serve them at a meal...about $12. While the oven is hot and your roasting the chickens throw in some veggies (carrots, sweet potatos, celery, onions potatos....)to roast too costs another $6. If you have leftovers cool, more food for another purpose. Take the chicken carcass', put them in a pot of water and make stock for soup, stew or whatever costs nothing and feed those 10 people another dish or two. Eggs and oat meal for breakfast.............
Poor cultures around the world have eaten inexpensively for generations. It can be done unless you tell yourself "I can't do it".0 -
No one is reading the post. Why are all of you so lazy? I was saying that we do have the money to eat healthy and each and everyone of you low attention span people seem to think I'm trying to say that we can't eat healthy when in debt. Sure my topic says that, but no one is doing what is necessary: READ THE DETAILS!
I was just saying that my wife controls the money and wants to control the diet too. She wants to eat extreme budget and convenience (McDonald $1 menu and Tacobell) so that way we can pay off our debt. Me on the other hand, I want to eat healthy (home cooked meals using REAL food and not artificially created or sodium/sugar loaded processed crap) and I could care less about our debt. We're 30 years old, the debt collectors will waith 30+ years to get their money, as long as they are getting it. But if we push off our health, we won't have 30+ years to enjoy after we're debt free!
It's all about priority. But regardless, you all are pulling the whole "TL;DR" thing on me so rather just have this thread locked because you all are lazy and won't read. I learned my lesson - get to the point faster and Don't title things excuses. Thanks interwebs for trolling me and showing me your low attention spans.
I found this post offensive in line with this post I posted previously on the same page, which was long, well-thought out and contained a range of advice, from financial, to marital.
You keep making passive-agressive comments your wife, you don't actually fully read our posts, you get angry at us for giving advice that *includes* advice on how to sway your wife with proper financial incentives, say that we should all stop giving you financial advice because you "have the money" when you are in debt (?) and then you back-track when we tell you it's a marital issue and says that it is, indeed, a financial issue.“The problem is when she spends my grocery money on triple payments on bills or stashing it for family trips she has planned; this dips in the "eat healthy fund" and then we start to fight when I just charge it instead because I refuse to eat unhealthy."Yeah I know... Just venting I guess. I can't control her, but she is being childish with her decision to eat out over eat at home... Plus, she limits my grocery buying capabilities to make double/triple payments on her debt causing us to have to eat on a REALLY tight budget... Again, le sigh."
She has bad eating habits, but you have bad habits when it comes to dealing with problems. As exhibited by the way you bullied other posters for not reading you and called us trolls, because you didn't like what we had to say. You take things too personally. That's why you can't address the issue with her. You martyr yourself with statements such as;"Le sigh... All I want is to be healthy and pass down good morals; is it really that much to ask for"
You also made this statement;And no, I don't think I'm better than anyone. It's taken me 30 years to feel like I was worth anything more than dirt; do you really want to be that guy who knocks me off the little self confidence I have?”
Which may be true, and may explain your belittling, passive-agressive "blame game" behaviour. But it's an excuse. This whole thread is an excuse. Everything you say is an excuse. You want to be able to justify your self-pity, you don't actually want to hear our opinions or advice, you aren't going to take it. You don't even know how to take it. You lack those skills.
People who are stupid enough to ever even make the excuse that they are "too poor to eat healthy" **** me off. I think it reeks of ignorance, stupidity and a failure to take control or deal with the consequences of your own actions or inactions. When people say that I hear "I'm lazy and I have no self control. I want to keep doing what I'm doing, and I don't want to be educated about the consequences. I am happy being uneducated, mediocre and wilfully ignorant at this point in my life, and this is precisely the attitude that has kept me poor. Because this is an attitude that extends to my whole life."
The fact that you titled this thread that was enough for me to have to calm my eye roll and read on to give proper advice *based on what you said, not the thread title*. If I had given you advice based on the title of your thread. I would hope my advice wouldn't have existed at all. Because that would be throwing good money after bad.
I don't know what to tell you, because you need self confidence. There is a lot of good advice here on how people have dealt with spouses who don't share their attitudes towards food. I hope that you take it, as well as considering all the new knowledge about healthy eating that people have provided.
You need the confidence to address this issue with the wife and to be able to take advice and opinions less personally, but your lack of self confidence hinders your ability to gain self-confidence. When you go around passively-agressively attacking people they aren't exactly going to write you ballads. You've been armed with the knowledge here. You can choose to write it off or you can chose to listen. Maybe your wife really is the one causing your issues here, but the fact that you don't know how to easily compromise or address this issue with your wife over the simple issue of food reeks of marital issues.
I know you don't want no Dr. Phil all up in here. But seriously, when people see a black door they are going to say "look at that black door".
I'm seeing marital issues here. Go get that black door fixed.0 -
Pre-plan. Stock up on food items when they are on sale and either can or freeze them. Look for coupons, deals, etc. Grow a garden. Check out local farmer's markets for good fresh local produce. It's often much cheaper than the grocery store. Focusing on fruits and veggies that are in season will also help.
There are ways to cut the costs down.0 -
My family is also trying to cut back our expenses. We eat steamed rice and beans. It's very filling and has plenty of crabs and protein. We also eat what I call "Power Salads". They consist of Lettuce, Red or Yellow Peppers, 1 can of Navy beans, sunflower seeds, a hard boiled egg and sometimes some grilled chicken. Super cheap and oh so good. There are ways to do it.0
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Quite honestly, I find eating healthy to be far cheaper. The processed, quick meal in a minute type foods are hugely overpriced. A pound of lean hamburger, or chkn thighs (skin removed), or whatever you fancy for lean meat will go further and is far healthier. If you prepare it- you save. Shop the flyers, buy bulk when it's on cheap, cheap, and stock up during sales. I single mom'd for 15yrs, and that's the only way I could afford to keep everyone fed- and healthy. Is growing a patio garden an option? It sure helps too, and is soooo awesome when you can just pluck a green pepper or tomato or whatever to add in..0
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Well, I guess your wife wants to pay later for a lifetime of medical maladies that come from eating fast food as the base of your diet.
Please see Super-size Me.0 -
I have to call BS on that one. Family of 7. . .fed our family WELL on $80-$100 bucks a week. Same set up in our house. Hubby cooks & shops and I pay the bills. Sooooo. . . .it CAN be done for cheap. Because, we had (2 of the older kids are out of the house in the last 2 years) diapers and childcare to fit in as well about 5 years ago! It takes extensive planning AND a willingness to eat some off brand stuff.
The trick is, like with anything esle, both people have to be on board! I wanted to get our spending and debt under control (as did my hubby) as much as I wanted to feed our family well. It CAN be done!!0 -
I became a vegetarian because as a poor university student, meat stretched my grocery budget too far. I stayed a vegetarian because I enjoy it and feel that it is a healthier lifestyle. There are tons of cheap, meatless alternatives that will keep you full and happy. They take more time to prepare and a little more imagination, perhaps, but the savings are twofold: your wallet will be heavier and your waistline will be lighter. If you are really strapped for cash, then I would strongly consider cutting out the meat altogether and getting your protein from vegetable sources. Remember, too, that frozen vegetables are almost as nutritious as fresh, and a lot cheaper. You don’t have to deprive yourself or your family. Good luck.0
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Sort your **** out with your wife and a lot of your problems will go away.0
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