Why did you let yourself go?...

I had an accident which left me with severe PTSD and I used to eat to make myself feel better.

That was 9 years ago and I still have not got a lid on it yet. I am a yo yo dieter and find it hard to eat in moderation.

I lost 3 stones for my wedding earlier on in the year, but when I found out I had a heart condition and my exercise had to be cut down I started to eat and not exercise again and put the three stones plus some back on in the last 8 months.

I feel awful and at the moment, until I have my heart operation I cannot exercise the way I want to so I just use that as an excuse not to do anything, and now I hate myself again.

I think you are wonderful for even being on here and taking the best step which is to take back your life ^u^ Obstacles are just victories over the horzion doll and I know you can do this atleast by eating healthy right? Good lucj and you are more than welcome to add me doll ^u^

Aww.. thanks I still feel like a fat knacker though lol xx

Motherhood can be exhausting and overwhelming. For years, I put everyone else first and myself last. It just crept up on me.

Wow, what a perfect question, the only answer I have is boredom and losing myself. I became so consumed with everyone else life and well-being I stopped caring for me. I was focused on the wishes and wills of others I lost my true interested and when I went to the store to finally shop for me( not the teenage children or love of my life) I hated what looked back at me in the mirror, sweatpants and oversize t-shirts. I didn't even know the girl in the mirror and had no desire to get to know her. So I vowed I would NOT buy anymore double sized anything this is not the body I desire my temple is worth more to me than this.

I hate to blame it on my parents, but I don't think I was really taught how to eat properly. From probably the 5th grade until high school my mother was a weight Watchers lecturer, and had purged our house of EVERYTHING remotely unhealthy. My father rebelled at this, and would volunteer to go on all the quick shopping trips to pick up a gallon of milk or loaf of bread and take us kids with him. While at the store we would always get a big bag of potato chips, box of ice cream bars, or some other fattening treat under the condition that we eat it ALL on the way home so that Mom wouldn't know we had it. Then of course we had to eat a good dinner because we were forced to be members of the clean plate club. Looking back now I remember going to bed and feeling sick to my stomach so many times, but it never really clicked that eating like that wasn't a good idea since I saw one parent depriving herself and the other pigging out.

10 years ago I went through Weight Watchers myself, and lost almost 100 lbs. Then I hurt my back, and could barely get out of bed for almost 3 months. And the weight piled back on. Then I got pregnant, and used that as an excuse not to work out hard, and to eat whatever I wanted- afterall all pregnant women are suppose to be fat, right?

So now I'm on the journey again. This time with the support of my husband who is also 100+lbs higher than he should be, and we're doing it for ourselves, each other, and for our daughter. However I don't want my daughter to fall into the same trap I did, so junk food is not completely banned from our house- it's just eaten in moderation. Junk food will always be around and be tempting, so I firmly believe she needs to learn how to deal with it now so that she doesn't follow in my path.

Getting married, after the honeymoon we both let ourselves go. Then it was a case of denial and been "too busy" to exercise.

Two things.
I love sugary/sweet things.
I don't run and play all day anymore.
Boom, I hit highschool and the weight started adding up...I've gotten bigger and bigger the older I get.
My 5 sons are all 20 months apart and the youngest is 6 mo. old. I've got to dig my heels in and start heading the other way.:noway:

I was a binge eater. I developed the binging habit when I was young and continued into my adult years. The binging numbed everything including my sense of pride and self-worth. There was a huge disconnect between my body and mind.

It was a weird time in my life that lasted 20+ years. I would see a number on the scale that was 100+ pounds above my ideal weight and it felt bad but didn't really register, like it wasn't my body.

I also know once someone is overweight, there are various hormonal changes that take place that kill your hunger and full sensations. So, it's a vicious positive feedback loop of eating, weight gain, more eating, etc.

Most of my life was "well i am always going to be fat, so why bother trying?" By the time I was in 6th grade (after a move from Cleveland to Ashland OH) my weight shot up from 125 to 175 (50lbs in a year from the age of10 1/2 years old until i was 11)

then i got to high school, was told my curves weren't int he right spots, and that i was never good enough for a guy to even be with. One guy pretended to "date" me then broke up because I wasn't "pretty enough".

Well, when i got to college, between school, home (I was taking care of my disabled mom to the day she passed) work and band i barely ate and thought "maybe i will lose weight this way" but never did. I also thought to myself "what guy is going to care to have me anyway?" "why should i care, i will never be beautiful or attractive enough."

After my mom died, it was eating fast food all the time, never exercising, and gaming. Once I moved to where i now live (Ashland to Fremont OH) my weight stayed the same, and though my husband loves me no matter what weight I am, I have had to learn to love myself, which somedays I will admit I don't, but I think about what I have accomplished, and will achieve, and that 125 is achievable, and that I am running, which is something that i have always wanted to do without hating

I will say my turning point was when I found out I was pregnant. I have went from weighing 243 (May of 2011, didn't use MFP during the pregnancy) to 183 (as of Saturday).

Until I hit 30 I was always around 180 - 200 lb mark, not really fit, but not really fat.
Then I got a job that came with free food.
Then the divorce.
Then my dad died.
Then I became estranged from the rest of my family.
Then I quit smoking.
Then I got lazy.
Now I'm 41, this summer I was around 240 - 245 and realized that in 10 years, I'd be lucky if I was only 300 lbs. Time to start bailing this leaky ship.

I got tired of the Navy forcing me to work out unsafely and constantly injuring me. I stopped caring, wasn't eating healthy on top of that and the weight started creeping up (was always right on their limits anyways) and there is only so many times you can hear chiefs yelling at you to loose weight to make evaluations before throwing in the towel in frustration. After getting out, I was living with a guy that had the metabolism of a horse and could eat for 3, which meant I ended up cooking and eating portions much more than I needed and I just wasn't paying attention to what I was doing (plus he had a curve fetish I found out way later and encouraged the gain grrr), and had already given up working out after all the pain and anger from the military. Overcoming that mindset took nearly 4 years to break, now I have a whole person to loose.