"you'd be pretty if you were skinny"

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  • tellascott
    tellascott Posts: 54
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    I have the opposite problem, all my weight is in my, uh..chest so i get tons of attention and admirers who are upset I am losing weight. I've been told numerous times I should go into waitressing because i would get lots of tips, as they stare at my chest

    So I get the negative reaction to losing weight and no inspiration whatsoever, the only thing that keeps me working at it is the feeble hope i will lose some chest size and people will stop ogling me all the time. That and it would be darned nice to be able to walk into a shop and actually buy shirts without having to ask sales clerks if they have anything that will fit *these*.
  • Linbo93
    Linbo93 Posts: 229 Member
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    Its an insult buried in a well-meaning comment. I've gotten it before, and it made me very angry too. The people who say that stuff in my experince are the naturally skinny types who just don't get it. Just push past it, their ignorance is not worth the trouble you'd waste worrying/seething over it. Use it as motivation, if you want? But don't let it get to you! This is FROM EXPERIENCE!! :OD
  • Tay617
    Tay617 Posts: 70 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    ^^^^^that would have been my exact response....
  • longingforcontrol
    longingforcontrol Posts: 67
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    "if you lost weight you'd look so pretty"

    HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE? for some reason it makes me feel so sad and ugly...


    I use this "quote" thingy the first time, I hope I did it right, if not, I apologize.

    Yes, I got told this more than only a few times in my life. mostly by my mother.
    and I agree with you, it makes you sad and you feel ugly and unloved and you start hating yourself because its all up to you. You could be pretty, they could be proud of you, could like you more, if only you would change but you are not strong/good enough to change. (least that´s what I tell myself).

    But what bothers me even more about it is, that people make you believe that you can only be pretty/cute/sexy/lovely/liked/loved/successful if you are thin or even skinny. if only you would change. not be yourself.
    and even worse than they making me feel like I am a failure, just because I am not thin enough is that it seems like most people think like this.

    you are not anything else just because you have a bit more weight on your ribs. not being skinny does not equal being ugly. of course I would look better, if I lost a bit weight but does this mean that I am a hopeless case now? too ugly to look at? Do people realize that only your appearance changes but your personality mostly stays the same? they do not say "you are really pretty but you would even look better if you lost a bit of weight" (what would be inpolite too but less) no, they say "you could be so pretty, if only you would be thin/skinny" is this suppose to be motivating?

    I am sorry for the rant, I just struggle with this topic a bit. Its no wonder that everyone that is not skinny feels like they must change.
  • banshishi
    banshishi Posts: 197
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    It falls in the 'dont give a damn what you think' list of comments I have received over the years, I can honestly say it doesnt matter to me if people think or say it, if all they can see in a person is the packaging then not really worth getting uptight about it. It amazes me how skinny is suddenly the measure of attractiveness...I think most people find confidence far more attractive regardless of size...unless they are as shallow as a puddle and is it really worth letting a puddled mind effect how you feel about yourself? I think not!
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
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    I have the opposite problem, all my weight is in my, uh..chest so i get tons of attention and admirers who are upset I am losing weight. I've been told numerous times I should go into waitressing because i would get lots of tips, as they stare at my chest

    So I get the negative reaction to losing weight and no inspiration whatsoever, the only thing that keeps me working at it is the feeble hope i will lose some chest size and people will stop ogling me all the time. That and it would be darned nice to be able to walk into a shop and actually buy shirts without having to ask sales clerks if they have anything that will fit *these*.

    I totally have the same problem and the last time I got down to my goal weight (like 10 years ago and on a very unhealthy and unsustainable diet) I was a 36DD!!!! I know they are not going away and my hubby (who is a boob man) is in complete support of me getting a reduction---as well as a tummy tuck because he knows that I have diastisis recti (?) where my tummy muscles are still completely separated after having 2 kids.

    I dream of the day where I don't buy larger shirts because otherwise I look like I'm parading them around and I work in a middle school and don't need those boys looking where they shouldn't be!!!
  • katejain
    katejain Posts: 47
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    I have heard that before myself. It's not a cool thing to say but the world is superficial. I once was in a store shopping with my 16 year old niece and we were looking for dresses for her. She's a size 2/3 dress and the sales lady said oh I think your in the wrong department, but if would look good on you if you were skinny!!! Sadly she gets paid to talk to people like that. I just block out the words because that means they have ugly souls!!!
  • LadyIvysMom
    LadyIvysMom Posts: 391 Member
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    What a couple of crazy b's. Ignore them. Seriously, who says that to a total stranger???
  • placeboaddiction
    placeboaddiction Posts: 451 Member
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    The candor of a restroom. I swear...

    Take from it what you will. Just know it doesn't matter what "they" think. It matters what you think. You are working on yourself. Cheer up. Go watch the news for 5 minutes and realize your life isn't that bad. :)
  • lynty55
    lynty55 Posts: 7 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    Love it!
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I've been told that several times. I'm always so shocked that I never come up with a witty comeback. I will have to come back and read this thread so I can tuck your witty responses into my bag of tricks.
  • stpetegirl
    stpetegirl Posts: 241
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    Yeah, I get the you'd be so pretty if only you'd lose weight all the time! What a bunch of B.S! Skinny is not always beautiful! I am thankful that my husband tells me I'm beautiful and sexy every day! Now if someone I don't know says something to me about my weight, I just give them a blank stare and make them feel very awkward! If they continue, I just say thank God I can lose weight, but your screwed because there is no cure for DUMB!
  • sylvuz323
    sylvuz323 Posts: 468 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    Love this response, or "You'd be smart if you didn't open your mouth to speak"

    If you have a pretty face then you have a pretty face, so the compliment should be "You are pretty"
  • summerfool
    summerfool Posts: 72 Member
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    I would have a hard time not taking it as an insult. I would probably respond that skinny isn't beautiful but healthy is.
  • randysbombshellgirl
    randysbombshellgirl Posts: 338 Member
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    My inital reaction would be "I can loose weight, you'd need a plastic surgon to fix ugly" (very immature & I'd NEVER say that) hell ya that is an back handed insult, how rude.
  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
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    I have heard that before myself. It's not a cool thing to say but the world is superficial. I once was in a store shopping with my 16 year old niece and we were looking for dresses for her. She's a size 2/3 dress and the sales lady said oh I think your in the wrong department, but if would look good on you if you were skinny!!! Sadly she gets paid to talk to people like that. I just block out the words because that means they have ugly souls!!!

    OMG! so terrible. I worked at a clothing store with regular and plus size sections. My manager would ALWAYS go up to the plus size girls that were just walking around and say "Your section is in the back of the store" in a really snotty way. Hated her so much...
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 932 Member
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    wow if random people are approaching you and saying that, they are extremely rude. tsk tsk. :noway:
  • rob_v
    rob_v Posts: 270 Member
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    The correct response.... I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet ;)

    Followed by a punch right to the face!
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
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    Response should be "You'd be smart if you weren't so stupid."

    I say that as my response too!! Haha

    I also say I can lose weight but you can't change how your face looks!! =]
  • holly2234
    holly2234 Posts: 37
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    If somebody said that to me i would probably knock their teeth out.

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