That one friend who is not happy of your success...?

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  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    I stay a couple nights per week with my boss since I work a long ways from home. She always had a lot of candy and sweets around and would bring them to work and offer me some and seemed to be buying this stuff partly for me. So I tried to hint strongly that I'd rather she didn't and mentioned that I'm trying to lose weight, am working out, etc in the hopes that she'd dial it back a bit. Seems the onslaught has gotten worse! Things that make you go hmmmm...

    One of the last few times I saw my sister I was wearing a pretty flattering outfit (could've been a swimsuit? Can't remember) after a recent bout of weight loss and she made the comment "Your figure's gotten really nice! NOW I can see why your boyfriend likes you!" gee, thanks?
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
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    I have a brother, who used to be very athletic and strong. He gained about 20 lbs but still wasn't big by any means. He saw me start to get closer and closer to his weight ( at the time) and started working out himself lol!!! He's lost about 25 and I weigh about 3 lbs more than him right now. He has become so encouraging, we workout together sometimes too! He gets me gifts (supplements) and we share a passion for fitness now together. I guess what all that means is: maybe if you give them some time they will come around. He also eats way better too now, he has taken many of my food staples and uses them too now, natural pb on wheat, canned chicken, etc. we both work outside so our lunch needs to be something that is quick, easy, and can stand being in 100+ degree heat for hours. He used to go and get chicken strips and fries before, and I would normally hit a drive thru.
  • aforange
    aforange Posts: 116 Member
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    "I could lose weight really easily if I wanted to, it's not hard."

    :explode:
  • LittleD311
    LittleD311 Posts: 618 Member
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    I have lost a significant amount of weight. Around 41lbs to be exact. Most of the people in my life have been thrilled for me and frequently express how proud they are of me.

    However, one of my closest friends is just not happy with my weight loss sucess. She will never come out and tell it to me but her body language and tone conveys jealousy and anger. She says she's happy for me but I know she isn't. Just the other day she said I was the beautiful best friend (compared to her). She is constantly calling herself ugly and fat and it gets me upset.

    A part of me almost feels BAD for losing weight. I feel like my success is causing her to be miserable. But I know I can't think like that. I just wish she would be happy for me and stop making me feel bad for BETTERING myself :(

    So I have a question! Do any of you have a person in your life that isn't happy for your weight-loss success?

    I am sorry that your dealing with this. I had a friend that we were going to the gym all the time together, or just going for a walk. The one time we left the gym, I was telling her how my size 4 jeans were fitting me again, well, almost, but i could at least zip them, and she was like " there is no way you are a size 4" so from then on, we hadnt really gone to the gym, and its been over a year of me talking to her.

    when your going with this new stage in your life, sometimes you need to get rid of the negative around you to endure!
  • cad39too
    cad39too Posts: 874 Member
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    If this friend can't support you, shake her off. Selfish as it may sound this is about you and what you want to attain, the goals you have set for yourself...not her!

    If she feels fat and ugly that's on her, as long as you know you are not doing anything to make her feel that way; if you really want to keep her friendship try and get her to come on the journey with you or start her own.

    Maybe you are the beautiful best friend now...so what you have worked for it why should you feel guilty about it.
  • sherita461972
    sherita461972 Posts: 43 Member
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    I didn't read all the comments... but it's very frustrating to have someone around like that.... I have a few, not just with weight loss, but with everything. If I have a bad day, they have a worse day; if I have a good day they have a better day; I encourage them and they point out the bad in me; I am blessed with something, they have to make me feel guilty for getting blessed... or my personal favorite, I have a great husband, and a great marriage it is what it is because we have worked for almost 20 years through bad & good times, we still have problems here and there... but for the most part we have a VERY happy marriage... she tells me in a round about way, that I don't deserve my husband that he is too good for me!!!

    What I find is people like that are jealous of you!! Ignore them!! They aren't worth your time!!
  • MissSusieQ
    MissSusieQ Posts: 533 Member
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    I have a brother, who used to be very athletic and strong. He gained about 20 lbs but still wasn't big by any means. He saw me start to get closer and closer to his weight ( at the time) and started working out himself lol!!! He's lost about 25 and I weigh about 3 lbs more than him right now. He has become so encouraging, we workout together sometimes too! He gets me gifts (supplements) and we share a passion for fitness now together. I guess what all that means is: maybe if you give them some time they will come around. He also eats way better too now, he has taken many of my food staples and uses them too now, natural pb on wheat, canned chicken, etc. we both work outside so our lunch needs to be something that is quick, easy, and can stand being in 100+ degree heat for hours. He used to go and get chicken strips and fries before, and I would normally hit a drive thru.

    good on you, and good on your brother too! This is an excellent example of a bit of positive competition... he could have gone 'dammit, he's not going to be fitter than me' and made things negative and discouraging for you, but instead he's gone 'dammit, he's not going to be fitter than me, i'm going with him!' and you're both better off for it.
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
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    God, this thread strikes a chord. The vast majority of my friends are wonderful and supportive - one of my best male friends recently commented on a before/after photo - "beautiful then, beautiful now, but so much happier - therefore the most beautiful you've ever been". SMUSHYMESSMOGLET.

    However, one in particular is very dismissive. She claims I'm "obsessed" with fitness (never mind the fact that it a) saved my life and b) is potentially a future career); that weight loss doesn't suit me; that I've taken it too far.

    Sadly, it seems awfully common. I've been incredibly lucky to make friends through my class who share my goals and motivation and are endlessly supportive. Slowly, it feels like the men are being separated from the boys.

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