Do you let your kids go hungry or force them to eat it?
farmers_daughter
Posts: 1,632 Member
Here's the scenario...
Overweight parents used to eating larger portion sizes and the wrong foods...
Very normal kids who are a mix of picky eaters and one that tends to eat more than they should, very young in age
The household is trying to change thier eating habits to healthier choices
#1 Don't argue it, healthier food is more expensive until you learn that tiny portions are the actual portion size. Again Don't argue that point, I know its accurate.
So the kids don't like beans, rice, plain veggies, not fond of the taste of some spices. Etc..... they just aren't digging the change
The adult in the house understands that this is the way food is supposed to be because they haven't yet picked up all these great ways that everyone talks about of fixing these wonderful tasting recipes.... plain is what they know plain is healthy.... becuase they are learning.
The kids think it's gross and don't want to eat it.
Choice 1: Do you let them go hungry and have them pig out at the next opportunity on the foods they like
Choice 2: Or do you sit there until they eat it, and sit through the "fake puking" or real in some cases.... crying, screaming etc.until they eat it.
Keep in mind choice 1 could get you turned in for not feeding your kids...depending on who hears the story and how DHS/CPS friendly they are.
What do you do? I have little faith that too many people will answer this but wanted to see if I'd get anything.
Thanks!
Overweight parents used to eating larger portion sizes and the wrong foods...
Very normal kids who are a mix of picky eaters and one that tends to eat more than they should, very young in age
The household is trying to change thier eating habits to healthier choices
#1 Don't argue it, healthier food is more expensive until you learn that tiny portions are the actual portion size. Again Don't argue that point, I know its accurate.
So the kids don't like beans, rice, plain veggies, not fond of the taste of some spices. Etc..... they just aren't digging the change
The adult in the house understands that this is the way food is supposed to be because they haven't yet picked up all these great ways that everyone talks about of fixing these wonderful tasting recipes.... plain is what they know plain is healthy.... becuase they are learning.
The kids think it's gross and don't want to eat it.
Choice 1: Do you let them go hungry and have them pig out at the next opportunity on the foods they like
Choice 2: Or do you sit there until they eat it, and sit through the "fake puking" or real in some cases.... crying, screaming etc.until they eat it.
Keep in mind choice 1 could get you turned in for not feeding your kids...depending on who hears the story and how DHS/CPS friendly they are.
What do you do? I have little faith that too many people will answer this but wanted to see if I'd get anything.
Thanks!
0
Replies
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I have heard you need to introduce foods to your kids up to 20 times before they get used to it and actually like it, so don't give up! There are lots of sneaky ways to add veggies to foods-- like using a puree.
Also, have you had your kids help cook? If they can help in any way, they are proud of their creation and will probably eat it no matter what!0 -
Let them go hungry. My philosophy is... a kid will eat when they are hungry. You are doing your kids a favor by introducing this new way of eating at a young age... their taste buds will adapt, as will yours.
Enjoy the road to health!!0 -
You aren't going to get turned in for providing a nutritious meal that your kid refuses to eat.
If my daughter doesn't eat what I make, she doesn't eat. End of story. I'm the grown-up, I make the rules and decide what is good for her. If she were in control, we'd be eating Lucky Charms and Nutella morning, noon, and night. Kids are not developed enough to make decisions like that.
If she is hungry later, she can have a piece of fruit. There is no access to junk food for her to "pig out" on.
*Edit to say that I always make sure there is something she likes on her plate - some apple wedges, yogurt, etc. And some nights, we have something I know she enjoys (whole wheat spaghetti & marinara for example). But, I don't make seperate meals, and I'm not a short order cook.0 -
This....No kid will starve when there is food available - just don't allow them to raid the fridge if they did not touch their dinners....Let them go hungry. My philosophy is... a kid will eat when they are hungry. You are doing your kids a favor by introducing this new way of eating at a young age... their taste buds will adapt, as will yours.
Enjoy the road to health!!0 -
You aren't going to get turned in for providing a nutritious meal that your kid refuses to eat.
If my daughter doesn't eat what I make, she doesn't eat. End of story. I'm the grown-up, I make the rules and decide what is good for her. If she were in control, we'd be eating Lucky Charms and Nutella morning, noon, and night. Kids are not developed enough to make decisions like that.
If she is hungry later, she can have a piece of fruit. There is no access to junk food for her to "pig out" on.
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I was fortunate, my son was a good eater. He neither went hungry OR was forced to eat. :smooched:0
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I have this exact issue with my son. He comes to visit from a household that eats crap. Cold hotdogs is a norm. When he doesn't want to eat something at home with his mother she caves and gives him crap. I refuse to do that. I won't force him to eat something he doesn't want to eat but at the same time I certainly will not purchase or prepare something special just for him.0
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I cook....if my kid doesn't like what I cook, she's free to make her own meal. True, she's 17 now, but the same held true when she was 7.
Eat what I cook or don't eat. Period. DHS/CPS says you have to feed your children, it does NOT say you have to feed them what they like or want.0 -
How old are your kids? They do become very picky at times. Mine seem to change their minds a lot!! If they don't want to eat it, then they just don't eat. I offer fruit or veggies if they don't want what we fixed. Other than that, they will eat when they are hungry. Don't force them to eat, never turns out well for anyone involved. Putting nutritious things into "smoothies" works well. You can even freeze the smoothie for a "popsicle"0
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We usually make sure that there is one or two food items the kids WILL eat at each dinner. They are required to take 1 bite of any new or "offensive to them" foods. One bite. Then we move on. It took 10 years, but my daughter actually LIKES broccoli now! LOL
We have 5 kids who have ranged in their pickiness. Fake puking will get you a time out/grounded from electronics. Temper tantrums have a known consequence.
And who in the world would call Children's services over a kid who refused to eat the healthy food in front of them!?!! That's preposterous!
Don't let your children have the upper hand. YOU are the adult. YOU make the rules. (Just make sure they're reasonable rules.) The dinner table isn't a battle ground.0 -
What I put on the table is what we're having. You don't have to eat it if you don't want to, but you're not getting anything else. I have the word of my pediatrician that skipping one meal is not dangerous to a child, and it's far better in the long run to get them eating a healthy diet than to feed them microwave chicken nuggets 4 nights a week.Here's the scenario...
Overweight parents used to eating larger portion sizes and the wrong foods...
Very normal kids who are a mix of picky eaters and one that tends to eat more than they should, very young in age
The household is trying to change thier eating habits to healthier choices
#1 Don't argue it, healthier food is more expensive until you learn that tiny portions are the actual portion size. Again Don't argue that point, I know its accurate.
So the kids don't like beans, rice, plain veggies, not fond of the taste of some spices. Etc..... they just aren't digging the change
The adult in the house understands that this is the way food is supposed to be because they haven't yet picked up all these great ways that everyone talks about of fixing these wonderful tasting recipes.... plain is what they know plain is healthy.... becuase they are learning.
The kids think it's gross and don't want to eat it.
Choice 1: Do you let them go hungry and have them pig out at the next opportunity on the foods they like
Choice 2: Or do you sit there until they eat it, and sit through the "fake puking" or real in some cases.... crying, screaming etc.until they eat it.
Keep in mind choice 1 could get you turned in for not feeding your kids...depending on who hears the story and how DHS/CPS friendly they are.
What do you do? I have little faith that too many people will answer this but wanted to see if I'd get anything.
Thanks!0 -
Find a happy medium between the two scenarios you listed. Sometimes I think the bigger deal you make over a new food in front of the kids, the worse their averse reaction will be. Just put it on the table and tell them supper is ready.
We had a "one mouthful" rule when my two were little. They had to eat one moutful of whatever it is they didn't THINK they liked. It was funny to see them actually decide they DID like something different. Now that they are teens, there's a little more give-and-take with food choices because they can give me valid reasons for why they don't like a particular food. For both of them, it's a texture thing. One doesn't like beans and peas because of the mush factor. The other doesn't like fresh tomatoes because of the seeds. We also let them mix beans into mashed potatoes, or dip tomatoes in a little bit of ranch dressing. Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of encouragement and convincing.
Good luck with it. Sending you a friend request....0 -
You aren't going to get turned in for providing a nutritious meal that your kid refuses to eat.
If my daughter doesn't eat what I make, she doesn't eat. End of story. I'm the grown-up, I make the rules and decide what is good for her. If she were in control, we'd be eating Lucky Charms and Nutella morning, noon, and night. Kids are not developed enough to make decisions like that.
If she is hungry later, she can have a piece of fruit. There is no access to junk food for her to "pig out" on.
this totally. an hour before bed she is given the choice of finishing her meal, or a healthy alternative that is only a snack. she's learning fast that the snack is not as rewarding as just eating the meal in the first place (she's 2) although that said i do try to make foods that i know she will at least try to eat some of one portion and all or most of the other (ie she isn't found of pork so i side it with something that she loves like raw carrots and some dunk). and yes keep trying the new stuff, even as an adult it takes me a few tries before i acclimatize to it!0 -
Choice 1: Do you let them go hungry and have them pig out at the next opportunity on the foods they like
Choice 2: Or do you sit there until they eat it, and sit through the "fake puking" or real in some cases.... crying, screaming etc.until they eat it.
I wouldn't do either of these, but given these are the only opitions in your hypothetical situation, I'd go for option #1 because I know that kids don't actually go hungry. They will b**** and complain and maybe scream or cry, but they won't go hungry.0 -
I make dinner if my kids choose not to eat it well I served them a meal. It is my responsibility as a parent to make sure they have healthy nutritious food available it is not my responsiblity to force feed them and make it a fight at every meal. If my kids dont eat what is served at meal time and they are hungry they are allowed to have some fruit but they are not allowed to have other snacks. If you keep at it they will learn to like some of the new foods. Usually kids dont like it because it is new, after awhile they will start liking more of the healthy foods. Dont give up, they need to learn how to eat and be healthy0
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If its a "sudden" change kids will resist but they won't "starve" themselves either once they know that they eat what's there or maybe some alternatives such as a fruit.
#1 depends on how you're buying, I can go to the local grocer and get a 10lb bag of flour for $10 or I can go to the bulk food / Costco type and buy a 50lb bag for $15... 5 times the volume for only 50% more in price. Same with other stuff, 2kg bag of shrimp for $20 or I can buy it in 1lb bags at the local grocer for $8.. so $36 to buy the "same" amount. Basically half price buying "more" at one time.
Try mixing some of the beans into things... like making beans and mashing them combining the result into ground meat for tacos etc. Mix "white" pasta with whole-wheat in ratios moving towards the whole-wheat as you go along, or just put the spaghetti sauce on it which disguises the appearance of it. Mash cauliflower and mix it with mashed potatoes... spaghetti squash allows me my "spaghetti type meal" without the massive calorie hit but it's not a straight flavour replacement.
Spice things with what you know the family likes. Savory goes on just about everything here and then changing around the other spices with it.0 -
What ages are the kids? Are you discussing the healthier food lifestyle you are trying to live? Involve them in the process. Let them help pick out dishes they may like to try. I wouldn't try to switch it overnight. Do it gradually. Substitute the worst offenders with healthier options, like home made chicken nuggets if that's all your kid will eat! There are many ways to hide veggies in sauces, etc. even in brownies! Definitely do not make food a battle. It will forever become power and control, and don't we really want to teach our kids how to make good choices? I try to always make one food I know the kid likes. My child has gone to bed on 1 green bean, by her choice! Kids won't let themselves starve. Just find a compromise on the food. And remember it takes an average of 7 trys to acquire a taste for a new food.0
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Are those the only 2 options?
Because what I do is offer a similar food stuff. Eg if they don't want potato, then I may offer carrots or gemsquash. But it will be from the vegetable group.
If they don't want an apple, then strawberries or a banana get offered.
So I offer an alternative from the same food group. But no more than 2! And only if I have it available. I won't cook additional food.
Anyway, a wise woman once told me that "hunger is the best cook", so if they have a good appetite at meal times, then they will eat what is on offer.0 -
I'm not a parent, but I was a camp counselor (overnight camp) for young kids for many years. We had certain foods cooked for each meal. If the kids didn't like it, then they didn't eat. They WILL eat if they are hungry enough. As for the letting them eat a lot when they DO like something, I think if it is a good food (one veggie that they love, a protein, something with some nutritional value), then let them eat more when that is in front of them. Other than that, limit the amount of less nutritious food.
And now, speaking from experience as both a picky eater and one that will eat even when not hungry. My parents made me try foods that I hated every time they made them. I didn't have to finish it, but I had to try 2 or 3 bites of something. I personally hate beans (the texture is really wrong to me), but I tried them every time they were made and hated them. Eventually my parents gave up making me try them, but that was after years! Make your kids try a bite or two of everything you make, and after that, they can just not eat.
However, if they like a certain veggie (like broccoli or carrots or tomatoes, etc), I'd give them that every meal just so they are eating something.
And I second the suggestion to have them help you cook - or at least look up recipes online for you to try.0 -
Try to find a balance until the kids like the new stuff better. Make some mac/cheese for example (or a fruit they like) while introducing new veggies, etc.. I used to make my kids try at least one bite of something new each time I tried something new.I have pretty picky eating taste buds so I understand what it's like to have to eat something that is gross to you. BUT, everyone can try it. If it becomes a battle issue, put it in the frig until they are really hungry, make them try the new veggie and then they can have different 'approved' food or snacks. And keep trying. One day my son ate broccoli not too long ago without me telling him! And he's 14!0
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Find a way to make healthy foods taste good. Period. Let them throw tantrums but don't cave. Also, try to make GRADUAL changes. Have at least 1 familiar food as part of a meal and be patient.0
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I am trying to eat clean....my husband and kids are not the cleanest eaters. So what I have been doing is making clean meals out of what they are used to eating ex: taco salads, pizza, homemade chicken nuggets/ baked french fries. I have been talking to my kids about how we need to eat healthy foods and not foods from boxes. Its a slow process but its working. They ask for fruits & veggies or snacks. If they want sweets we make healthy protein cookies. A great book to read is Tosca Reno Clean eating for the family & kids. It has a lot of good recipes.0
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This sounds just like my sister's household. Her pediatrician actually had her take her boys to a nutritionist for ideas on getting them to eat better and not be quite so picky. One of the best suggestions she got was to try to make things they liked healthier, but to also do it in stages. Her example was make tacos (her boys love tacos) but use lean ground turkey for a change leave everything else the same. Next time use the turkey and whole wheat tortillas instead of white flour ones. Next try topping with a veggie,etc. Doing it in stages instead of all at once has cut down on the dinnertime drama and fights over going to bed hungry.0
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I would never force my kids to eat anything they didnt want. I was forced to eat until my plate was empty and I hated that growing up. I am lucky that my boys arent picky eaters and eat what I feed them, veggies and all!0
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My OH hates bananas and will never ever eat one, he isnt fond of fruit at all and doesnt eat that either, yet he eats vegetables with no problem. Perhaps its easier to slowly change childrens diet than force through a huge change at once, and also bear in mind that just like adults there will be food that they 'really really dont like' and no amount of persuastion will change their mind!
It may help if they are old enough to let them get involved in the preparation and cooking of these 'new foods to try and make it more fun for them.0 -
My middle son (10) is a picky eater. I fix one meal. If he does not like it, he is welcome to fix something on his own...that I approve, of course. My other two kids will eat anything. I was terribly picky as a kid and I recall sitting at the table for hours, gagging.0
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How about involving the kids with cooking the meals. I find if my daughter helps with the food prep she is more inclined to eat/try it.0
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The standard response to complaints about a meal is "This is what's for dinner. Eat it or don't." Over time my kids have become less picky. If we are having a meal that is particularly spicy or otherwise not kid friendly I will serve something else for the kids. I don't believe anyone should be forced to eat food they don't want. I do think it is my responsibility, as a parent, to give my children good healthy food and encourage them to eat it. Treats and other foods are available only after they eat the meal that has been offered.0
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I'm not a short order cook.... There's a good quality healthy meal on the table, if you don't wanna eat it well there will be breakfast on the table in the morning...... :drinker:0
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Oh kids can be a challenge... but I got to go with what my husband always says... he's yet to see a child that was offered food literally starve to death.
Thankfully my kids are "generally" easy to feed... but there have been challenges. When I met my husband we both had kids... took a bit for his to get used to me and how I make things maybe different than they were used to...
Then there's been the changes we've made to get healthy!
I stopped buying soda, crap foods etc... and yes... they were ALL very used to having junk food... more of whatever they wanted etc.
BUT... now it's, "So, this is what we are having for dinner..."
They don't get the option to have something else... the only times I've offered that in the past is for example... my oldest daughter couldn't STAND sauces for the longest time... and if I made beef stew she HATED it and it wasn't for lack of trying it etc... so yes I would let her make a sandwich if I planned ahead to make it... but not like... hey you get pizza while the other kids get this... NO! LOL
Now though... what we eat is what we eat and the kids are OVER IT... and eat just fine. The rule is that you need to eat your dinner if you want a snack later... and I'm not talking some high fat snack... I'm talking a reasonable treat, or even healthy snack...
They've all managed to get with it. No one has starved... they are well fed. :-)
Kids whine and complain and eventually they get with it IF you are consistent... and that goes for anything... if they whine and get away with it once... next time even if you stick it out LONGER they will whine twice as long. FOOT DOWN... and never lifted... they WILL figure it out.
There was a LOT of whining and complaining when I stopped buying soda... now they readily say, "I want water!" or "I want milk" because they know what the options are now... and life is moving on. If they see that it gets to you... they will keep at it... it's not easy, but you can do it.
We've also had a LOT of discussions in our house about being BORED and not actually hungry. Sometimes that helps too... to talk it out. Find something to do and if you are STILL just so hungry in 30 minutes... an apple, or banana, or string cheese or something... but one snack between meals... and a healthy one at that. You won't die :-)
Stay strong... you can do it... they won't starve.0
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