Do you let your kids go hungry or force them to eat it?

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  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,829 Member
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    How about involving the kids with cooking the meals. I find if my daughter helps with the food prep she is more inclined to eat/try it.

    Ditto. I've gotten my son to try (and actually enjoy) all kinds of things he wouldn't have before simply because he was proud that he helped make it.
  • letsgethealthy
    letsgethealthy Posts: 47 Member
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    Here's how it works in my house. What I cook for dinner is what you eat. If you don't like it you don't eat. But I do require that you eat at least one bite of everything on your plate. That goes for every kid and every adult, guests included. I have a picky eater so I know how that works. If it's just the taste/texture change, keep offering. Eventually they'll eat it. My mom used to get mad at me and would tell me that I needed to fix something else, anything else, including junk food. She was very wrong. I've talked to our pediatrician and dieticians about the eating and they tell me that I am right.

    The portions are not big. They are the right size. Kid size plates, kid size portions. The only thing they can get a large serving of is water. And there again, kid size glass, kid size portion. We drink a ton of water in my house. Rarely ever drink soda or eat anything that unhealthy.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    I aways keep things like yogurt or peanut butter available so if the kid doesn't want what I cook, he is free to eat something else he prepares for himself. lately he has been cooking egs when he does not like my dinner (which is perfectly ok with me).

    However, he will sometimes get sneaky and wait until me and dad go to bed then raid the pantry - so we lock it now. Everything he has access to in the middle of the night is healthy and if that is when he wants to eat, then so be it.

    Really? Locking the pantry? I'm amazed. What if your child chooses to eat peanut butter and yogurt every day, every meal? How is that healthy?
  • reneepugh
    reneepugh Posts: 522 Member
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    My kids all like different things and I have 3 little ones. So, it's nearly impossible to please all three of them at each meal. I try to bribe them ;-). I usually tell them if they eat half of it, they can have a healthy snack (usually bananas or a fruit) later. That way at least they tried it and got some nutrients and they get something healthful that they like later. I try to keep several healthy snacks like trail mix, apples, oranges, bananas, etc in the house so they can have an option. I have noticed when a kid can choose for themselves, they are more likely to eat it. I have also gotten them to eat by letting them help me make dinner. However, I only do this on the weekends when I have more time to be patient. Hope this helps.
  • lorierin22
    lorierin22 Posts: 432 Member
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    I didn't read all of the responses, but in the paperwork provided by my pediatrician (for my 18 month old) says "if your child throws their food, take away their plate...hungry children do not throw food, they eat it". I thought this was pretty harsh...however, if the doctor is using this method to get the kid not to throw food, I'm betting they would be ok with saying, eat this or eat nothing...same philosophy...hungry children eat their food.

    I, on the other hand, would try a little bit different approach. Maybe don't go cold turkey with what the kids are used to. Try introducing one healthy option at a time, while still giving them at least one thing they recognize and that comforts them. You don't have to load up their plate with the not as healthy thing...you don't want them to fill up on it and not try the healthy option...but too much change at once for kids can be very difficult. I know my kids are pretty stubborn. I have tried the eat this or nothing thing, and they just didn't eat until daycare the next day. It was too much for me to witness so I'll admit, my kids don't eat the healthiest foods right now, but we are trying...my family is still a work in progress.

    Good luck!!
  • caseythirteen
    caseythirteen Posts: 956 Member
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    If they don't want what I've made for dinner, than they better hope they like what's for breakfast because that's the next time they will be eating. Now, that being said, I try and be sympathetic in a small way to their taste buds. Just because I want a change doesn't mean I can expect them to be all for it. I try and only incorporate one new thing at a time and make sure that there is at least one thing on their plate that I think they would eat. I also tend to work in new items mixed with other food they like. It was rough going at times and there were certainly tears but they have gotten used to it. I can typically get them to try a couple bites of something new and sometimes they even like it!
  • Coco_puff901
    Coco_puff901 Posts: 54 Member
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    I have a 5 year old son and a 2 year old daughter.... My son will try anything I make, and he LOVES veggies, so I always make sure I make some steamed brocolli or something I know he will eat. As long as he "tries" what I make I'm happy, and if he truely does not like it, I will make him a PB&J.

    My 2 year old on the other hand.... she will not even try most things. She is super picky.... So because of her age, I usually try to bribe her to at least take 1 bite, and then I usually give in and make her something she will eat also.

    The key is I usually at least make 1 side (A healthy side) that I know they will at least have a little bit :)

    Good luck :-)
  • rhvandan
    rhvandan Posts: 185
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    I've been switching over to more home cooking and healthier meals. My kids, for the most part, are willing to try and eat most of the things I make. I know a few of the foods my older daughter (8) really doesnt like, like mushrooms, so I dont cook with them too often or I make something where she can pull them out.
    My toddlers (twins who are almost 2) will try pretty much anything. If they act like it doesn't taste good I'll see if a little bit of ketchup or cheese will help them eat. Usually it does. I also serve them age-appropriate portions and them eat what they want. If they get hungry between meals, it's fruit, yogurt, veggies, etc. occasionally they can have fruit snacks or some chips.
  • Zangpakto
    Zangpakto Posts: 336 Member
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    Ummm, they eat what everyone else eats, if they don't like, they get nothing.

    Simple ey?

    I mean seriously, they are YOUR kids, they should respect YOUR decision, I mean sure, if you eat total crap then ok they should be able to say no... but if they refuse to eat anything because it is healthy... fine, they don't have to, but they shouldn't be rewarded by getting junk food for god sakes... That is enforcing a bad idea!

    Bad parenting that is... give into childs demands and let the child run your life instead of you running the childs life...
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
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    You aren't going to get turned in for providing a nutritious meal that your kid refuses to eat.

    If my daughter doesn't eat what I make, she doesn't eat. End of story. I'm the grown-up, I make the rules and decide what is good for her. If she were in control, we'd be eating Lucky Charms and Nutella morning, noon, and night. Kids are not developed enough to make decisions like that.

    If she is hungry later, she can have a piece of fruit. There is no access to junk food for her to "pig out" on.
    FALSE...my parents were reported for me being too skinny as a child....I literally ate nothing. They made me seperate meals just so I would eat.
  • breza262
    breza262 Posts: 40 Member
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    I make sure there are 3-4 options on the table (meat, veggie, grain, maybe fruit) and they need to choose 2. Our policy is ONE BITE TO BE POLITE and then they can choose to either be excused or get seconds of the item they like. There are many nights where one of ours will only drink a glass of milk and eat her 2 bites and be excused. She is not starving and by no means is it abuse. There also are foods that she would turn her nose up at a year ago that she now looks forward to it being a part of the meal (brown rice is one of them). We only serve a small sweet (yogurt, pudding, etc) a few times per week, and only if they eat all on their plates.

    I do NOT send items in their school lunch that I know they won't eat, but I don't send junk either.

    AND we talk about what is healthy in each item on the table, as a family. e.g. Who can tell me which item has the most protein? And why do we need protein? It starts great conversations and makes them (and us) aware of what we are eating and why. I figure I can't control what they do outside of home, but I can educate them with hopes that they will make informed decisions.

    Good luck!
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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    Our son is almost 2, and if he says "done" then he's done...no questions asked.

    Making him clean his plate (or making us finish for a "treat") is how his mom and I got where we are with our weight.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
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    My mother always put the healthy food in front of my face and waited until I ate it. She always said that it was up to me if I ate it hot or cold, but it was going to get eaten. To this day, I have never had a cheeseburger or mac n cheese. I've had one hot dog, and I haven't had soda of any kind since I was 12. I tried McDonald's for the first and only time when I was 15, it was gross. I choose the the healthier options because it's what I want to eat. I learned pretty young what healthy and nutritious food was and what was just pleasure food.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
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    I say you let them starve. My mom did it to me when I was little because I was super picky and it worked. After a while I figured out I hated going to bed hungry, so I started trying some of the food she made, and realized it wasn't so bad. Can't let kids control you, you are the adult, you make the decisions.

    Encouraging the kids to shop, plan menus and cook with you will help also. Try and recreate their favorite meals in healthier ways. Instead of spaghetti, try spaghetti squash with homemade marinara. That way the foods still seems familiar to the kids (quiona for a 5 year old is a bit out there, esp. if they are used to eating pizza) and they can ease into it.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    You aren't going to get turned in for providing a nutritious meal that your kid refuses to eat.

    If my daughter doesn't eat what I make, she doesn't eat. End of story. I'm the grown-up, I make the rules and decide what is good for her. If she were in control, we'd be eating Lucky Charms and Nutella morning, noon, and night. Kids are not developed enough to make decisions like that.

    If she is hungry later, she can have a piece of fruit. There is no access to junk food for her to "pig out" on.
    FALSE...my parents were reported for me being too skinny as a child....I literally ate nothing. They made me seperate meals just so I would eat.

    Being reported and being found guilty of neglect are 2 very different things. Many people are reported for various reasons. I don't think DSS came in your home and told your parents to "give you whatever you wanted". If they did - DSS was wrong!
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    Kids DO NOT get a say in the day-to-day dinners. You are the parent. It's ridiculous to allow them to kick up a fuss and get to eat whatever they want...discipline, boundaries, do not pander to tantrums. If they see they can get away with it they will take advantage of your weakness and make no mistake, it is your weakness.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    I would never force my kids to eat anything they didnt want. I was forced to eat until my plate was empty and I hated that growing up. I am lucky that my boys arent picky eaters and eat what I feed them, veggies and all!

    I've never forced my kid to eat what I cook. I'll offer alternatives or compromise so we both have something we like. My folks never forced any of us to eat food and never made ultimatums like the OP. All they ever cared about was that we ate something. I do know that my mom's parents were the "clean your plate or don't eat" people.
  • yvonneseage
    yvonneseage Posts: 55 Member
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    Don't try and force them to eat, it could lead to resentment and an unhealthy attitude towards eating
    Accept their complaints as their feelings. They are humans and have the right to express their opinions
    Continue to serve the meals for them, invite them to eat if they are hungry, don't provide alternatives
    (if you want, and the food is untouched, you can always put it back in the fridge for them to try later - to give them some feeling of control without giving into their demands)

    Depending on their age (thinking more teenagers here). invite them to research healthy meal alternatives and cook their discoveries for a family meal. You never know, they may come up with something you like.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    i was raised to eat whatever was provided for me. I had the option to skip dinner if I didnt want those lima beans and liver, but guess what was waiting for me in the morning for breakfast? or what was in my lunch bag if i tried to skip eating it for breakfast too?:laugh:

    my family ate nutritious balanced stuff and the only time i was able to pick and choose (sort of) was during big meals like easter, thanksgiving and xmas. so even if i decided to eat a crap load of spinach (i always loved spinach) my mom would never let me just eat that if she served it with meatloaf and mashed potatoes (i'm not a fan of meatloaf of mashed potatoes).

    as my mom used to say, our house wasnt a restaurant so i wasnt allowed to have it my way.

    if i ever have kids i'll raise them the same way
  • hazelovesfood
    hazelovesfood Posts: 454 Member
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    Well the onlly thing i can say it to add thing each meal, dont try a full swap. My kids are picky in there own ways, one way more than the other, but its taken me years to get him to eat veg, i mean years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your best bet is to have the adults eat the healthy stuff and just add healthy stuff to there normal, my son compainls if we have to many proper dinners, ie veg and meat lol. I sometimes end up cooking 4 different thing, but ive been there with the sitting waiting for them to eat it, that was when he was little and it was all tears etc, in the end you do give up and it starts to come to them naturally. But when you think about it, its just like us, we have eaten what we liked for years etc , been brought up that way and you are trying to change what has they have already learned, its hard for anyone to go back really when your tastes have allready beenj developed.

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