Dating and kids

124

Replies

  • lesliev523
    lesliev523 Posts: 366 Member
    I wouldn't have any issue with it. But I have dated several men that had a hard time with the fact that I had kids. Eventually, after my kids are out of the house, I will have tons of time for a man and will be able to make them a priority in my life. But while my kids need me, they are my priority. Period. Their dad walked out of their life, and I am not going to do that. I would love to find a man that took interest in my kids as well..... but that might be asking for much.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member

    Yes, your point? I thought this website was called My Fitness Pal, not My Dating Pal.

    Let me direct you to the Fitness or Nutrition section of the forum. Most forums have a general or off topic area, that's where you are currently browsing. And there's nothing wrong even if the OP was trying to get a date.

    Exactly what I was going to say. This is the "chit-chat, fun and games" section. Which you are apparently not here to have any fun. So buh bye :laugh:
  • Jtorres326
    Jtorres326 Posts: 157 Member
    Nope, I don't want kids so that would be a deal breaker for me. As was said previously, even if I would consider it, one would have to question how unstable mom is to lose full custody given the bias in courts. Just a world of **** I wouldn't want to step in.
  • NeshBeMe
    NeshBeMe Posts: 148 Member
    I have full custody of my kids and would be a hypocrite if I didn't accept the same. Sometimes I think I would prefer them to have full custody then there's no baby momma drama.
  • rvagnoni
    rvagnoni Posts: 75 Member
    I have and it makes things more difficult due to time constraints and availability.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    I asked myself this when I decided to have a child on my own. It does make it harder, and right now, I'm not dating -- but it's so worth it for me. And honestly, at my age, any single man I meet is likely to be divorced with kids anyway.
    Your profile says you're 22. To me, that's young. To me, dating someone with kids is a more serious endeavor than just casual dating -- if you're involved with the kids, you're INVOLVED. Are you ready for that at 22? Is the love you could have with that family worth the drama? If the answer is yes, then go for it.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.


    This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.

    Very well said, sir.

    --P
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all? :)

    This is not eharmony.

    You're new here. . aren't you?

    Yes, your point? I thought this website was called My Fitness Pal, not My Dating Pal.

    Oh Chuck, lighten up. This is the "Chit-chat, fun and games" section of the message boards. People do have lives oytside of simple weight loss.
  • MtnKat
    MtnKat Posts: 714
    My husband dated (and married) me and I had two kids from a previous marriage (I was a single mom with two girls ages 6 & 7 when I met my husband). We now also have two kids of our own (and mine are now adults and living on their own and starting their own families).

    I was lucky and I wasn't looking. He just kind of came along and it happened....lol
  • know_your_worth
    know_your_worth Posts: 481 Member
    Never.
  • brandalini
    brandalini Posts: 237 Member
    I have a 5 year old son and my boyfriend has a 2 year old son. I have full custody of mine, he sees his dad every few weeks for the weekend, my boyfriend's son is with us 50 per cent of the time.

    I dated a guy before that had a daughter and I vowed to NEVER do it again...it was AWFUL! He wasn't a great dad, we didn't have the same values or parenting ideals and after that I was so turned off by the idea of dating someone who has kids...and then I met this boyfriend and he's amazing. He is fighting to get FULL custody, he cooks homemade healthy meals, reads to him, teaches him, plays with him constantly, and he parents the same way I do which is great.

    So, my answer is maybe! It depends on the parent raising the kid and of course the kid itself. My step-son is a delightful, sweet boy that I adore so that helps a lot!
  • SassyAshleigh
    SassyAshleigh Posts: 78 Member
    Negative. I don't have my own children, and that is a first that I want for my then-husband and myself. I don't date people with kids.
  • fishgutzy
    fishgutzy Posts: 2,807 Member
    I'd date my wife any day. :bigsmile:
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    I'd date my wife any day. :bigsmile:

    Winner!
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
    Yes. My husband had(s) full custody when we met. Makes it a hell of a lot easier that we don't have to deal with co parenting. Our hands our full with my crazy ex. But at 22, and having to ask.....then please, stay far far away from that man and his babies.
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
    I can't imagine anyone not loving my kids, for what it's worth. :) They make me a better man - so my prospective dates will reap the rewards of their influence upon my life (not so much that they have changed me, but learning to love them the way they need to be loved changed me).

    CUTE!
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    If he's a good guy I probably would. I'm a single mom, have been officially for 7 years, but I would prefer a guy that doesn't have full custody. I know that's jacked up, but oh well. I'm still trying to figure out this mom thing with my kid. But, if he was amazing and worth it, I definitely would.
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.


    This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.

    Sadly, I think I have to agree... I just got out of a relationship with a man who really did not want much to do with my son... I spent so much energy on him this past year, trying to make things work... When my son is a gazillion times more important!!!
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    I don't have kids. Neither did my husband. And that was really important to both of us when we met. He ruled out potential dating partners because they had kids. And... so did I. My last boyfriend was childless as well. It's just a lifestyle choice.
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
    Would you date someone who has full custody of their kids? Or kids at all? :)

    No & No.
    I appreciate good dads and all, but I don't want to be your kids' mom and I don't want to deal with your kids' mom. Too much drama in most cases.
    Preach.gif
  • Shelgirl001
    Shelgirl001 Posts: 477 Member
    I'm a single mom (POS baby daddy) - so I can't judge. I feel a man who has full custody is a good man. He obviously wants what's best for his children, and having to deal with a dead beat dad, I would honestly find it very attractive that they aren't one. I can only hope there are some decent, single men out there that would want to date someone who has a child/full custody!!

    This exactly.
    Yup, here, too...
  • Shelgirl001
    Shelgirl001 Posts: 477 Member
    I decided that I'm not dating until my kids are grown. I can't focus in two different places like that. Some people can, and I'm nto judging. I'm kind of a simple person, and I can't do a relationship and kids at the same time. I mean, if it was my wife, that's different because you grew into the roles together. But, to add someone is awkward. I already tried it twice, and I realized that it's just not going to work.


    This times a million. I feel like I have a lot to offer to the right woman but I can hardly blame them for not wanting to get involved considering having to deal with the ex and what not. My girls and I have settled into a comfortable routine that works really well for us. I won't give up hope, being the romantic that I am, but I do have to be a realist. I will probably be single until my kids are grown, which is happening wayyyy too fast.

    Sadly, I think I have to agree... I just got out of a relationship with a man who really did not want much to do with my son... I spent so much energy on him this past year, trying to make things work... When my son is a gazillion times more important!!!


    And yet I do agree with this... My relationship with a man just ended after 27 + months, He barely wanted anything to do with his own kids, and seemed to feel mine were always in the way, no matter what he said. It gets old. He seemed to think he should be my first priority. Just don't want to put my kids through it again.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    No I wouldn't, and I married a guy with a kid. :indifferent:
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    Yes. I love kids (hate babies though haha), so as long as HE were awesome and there were only one or two kids and they were cool too, sure why not.

    My EX had two kids from his previous marriage (failed because of him cheating multiple times), wasn't in their lives, had hardly any friends or contact with his family. Experimented on rats for a living. Overall not good with relationships and sometimes I think the reason he wasn't in his kids' lives was because they were GIRLS and he wanted a boy. The reasons he wanted a son were even more disturbing. :noway:

    One of the main reasons the relationship could never have worked.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
    Never. Funny thing is I used to be a School teacher! (Now I can't stand to be around kids)
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    I've never had a problem with the idea and am currently seeing someone with kids who live with him mostly full time (ex has them every other weekend kind of deal). I love kids, so it's no biggie to me :)
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Yes & my husband did. I had an almost 3yo son when we met. A month later we were married & 16 years later HE is who my son has always called dad.
  • roachhaley
    roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
    Three words: baby mama drama.

    I've not been in a relationship, but one of my old best friends had a kid (now has two) and he was constaaaaaaantly having drama with his baby mama. I can't imagine being MARRIED to that.

    Plus, I don't want kids.
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
    It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. Guys that don't pay child support is a deal breaker though. Just be aware that his ex is going to get out of rehab and she will be part of the mix. They share children. And, where there is an ex that has drug issues there is drama. So, if he is worth the drama strap on your seat belt and go for it! :)
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i don't see how children are a factor.

    if you like the person, why is it an issue if they have kids already?

    to me, it's pretty shallow not to date someone for that reason.

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