Do you let your kids go hungry or force them to eat it?

I didn't make all the changes at one time. Slowly we introduced new foods, but kept familiar favorites too (and we haven't banned any of the favorites, they just aren't a daily occurrence). Food shouldn't be a punishment for you or your kids. They should still be able to enjoy what you have on the table.

I have a very picky, normal weight child.

I was a very un-picky, ate-everything-given-to-me, overweight child.

I cook a lot and eat mostly healthy foods. My mom cooked a lot and made a variety of foods. I love to eat. I was the person, before I had children, who said, "My child will never be picky and will eat everything that I cook for them. It's all about how you introduce foods and providing healthy choices on a regular basis."

Yeah. That didn't go the way I thought it would.

After much thought and many discussions with the pediatrician and my counselor who specializes in disordered eating, I have decided to honor my child's inherent ways of eating and (within reason) food preferences as long as she remains at a normal, healthy weight.

Although she is very picky, she loves/hates healthy and unhealthy things equally, and eats with decent portion control. She truly does not like vegetables. She just doesn't. She also doesn't like soda, any rich desserts or pasta. It balances out. She does love fruit and most meat, if it's cooked the right way. If you give her six cookies, she will eat one and ask to save the rest for later. If you serve her a reasonable amount of protein, she will eat most of it without prompting. I try not to mess around too much with her portions or choices, because I'm obviously the poster child for the "don't" side of the way to eat as a child.

I am also not willing to sacrifice the peace and joy of sharing dinner as a family every night by insisting on winning "the battle of the dinner plate." I have decided that I will keep a reasonable amount of decent choices on hand for my daughter. I make what I want for dinner. She can eat it or she can choose from one of her choices -- usually turkey sandwich, PB&J, or baked chicken nuggets with fruit or yogurt as a side.

This works for us. She is healthy and eats relatively healthy food, although not the same food I choose to eat. We discuss what makes food healthy and unhealthy. We talk about moderation and how to make good food choices. I have noticed that she is becoming slightly more adventurous in her choices as she progresses in school. She desperately wants to love corn-on-the-cob because it is her BFF's favorite food, but she gags every time she tries it.

I believe that some people have more sensitivity to oxalates and other compounds in vegetables, and some people just have a more limitied and sensitive palate than others. As long as your kids are eating relatively healthy, and you are not going too far out of your way to indulge them, it is okay to have alternate choices. We don't all like the same things, and no one should be forced to eat food that doesn't taste good to them.

What if you gave them a choice- Corn or carrots? Turkey or chicken? The food choices can all be healthy- but they will feel more in power when it is their choice.

I was force fed tuna when I was a child and it makes me vomit to this day.. (all fish/seafood actually)

I have come to the conclusion tha tkids wont starve themselves. Eventually they will eat. When my kids were little, I'd modify how I cooked their portions (pain in the butt I know, but better then two separate meals) prior to saucing or adding spices to a meat, I'd cook some plain for my son and sometimes my daughter. Then they got a small helping of what ever veggie I was cooking too (much to their dislike). But no desert of snacks later unless they ate what portion I gave them.

My son still doesnt like "sauced or spicy foods" but has learned some veggies are actually very good, such as Bok Choy.

I'd like to second the fact that the kids may like veggies, just prepared differently. My kids hate stir fry vegetables. BUT give them the same veggies raw and they chow down.

Keep trying and remember Rome wasn't built in a day. My youngest daughter wouldn't eat food, only suck on it as a toddler and her food preferences changed daily(the girl made me nuts). She is 7 now and has started eating almost everything we eat. She actually enjoyed pork chops, cooked apples, and rice pilaf the other night.

In my house if you don't eat dinner, that is fine. But don't expect a snack later.

My daughter is a picky eater. She has to try at least 1 bite of everything. Sometimes we make her stay at the table until she at least eats her protein portion and vegetables. She has a time limit of sitting at the table. Once she's hit that limit, her food is packed up into the refrigerator until she says she's hungry then she gets what she refused to eat.

The only exception to this rule, is if I'm making something that I absolutely know she doesn't like.

Neither. Through trial and error I find healthier foods they like. If they don't want to eat fine. They can have a (healthy) snack later. If I don't keep junk around it's not an option.

It depends on the food. I don't specifically make foods that the kids don't like - I mean, if *I* don't like a food I'm not going to make it for me, why would I do that to my children? However, there is absolutely no "cook for individual needs" in my house. I am not a short order cook and my kids know that. They don't eat a whole lot in one sitting, usually, so overeating is not a problem with them.
If I make something and they whine about it they can either sit there and finish it without whining, or they can have it packed up and eat it for whatever the next meal is. Sometimes they just aren't hungry.

I have a friend who has drastically changed her lifestyle in terms of eating habits so she has of course the challenge of changing her little ones' eating habits. She said it took about three days for her oldest to stop throwing tantrums and to stop trying to make himself puke at the dinner table. You have to pick one way to do things and stick with it.

When I was a kid the rule was, finish all of it. This sometimes resulted in sitting at the dinner table until 8 or 9pm because I wouldn't finish the liver and onions my mom made. To this day I can't even stand the smell of it and I'm 28 years old.

Here's my question...when would they get a chance to pig out on the bad for you food that they like? If you're cooking healthy meals, then that's all the option they have. Sure, not all kids like all veggies or fruits, but don't give them the choice of blueberries or french fries...

When they're little, it's easy to keep track of their food... but when they're 9 and going over to friends houses after school, or having sleepovers, or whatever? Unless you keep you child on a very short leash into their teen years, at some point they're going to be sitting in front of Twinkies and Twizzlers.

there has to be staples that they do like so take those and find the healthy alternative for them... example chicken nuggets make your own with boneless skinless ck breast and bake them in the oven. hot dogs = turkey dogs... spaghetti with meat sauce= whole gain pasta with ground turkey meat. french fries = cut your own potatoes and bake them in the oven. mac-n-cheese = haven't figured this one out pizza = pita bread with homemade sauce and turkey pepperoni.

dang I am getting hungry!

I run a child care so I KNOW how picky kids can be. I also know that one day they'll say they love something and the next they'll tell me they hate it...Every day is a battle! BUT...every day I win! More often than not it isn't the fact they're not hungry or they don't like what they are being served...it's the fact that they would rather be doing something else..something fun! At least here that is the norm! but with my own children the rule is they have to take at least 2 bites before they decide if they like it or not. my children are 7 and 3.

3 things I find most common in families with picky eaters are:

(1) Parents will cave and give the child what they want to avoid an argument with the child. Once a parent starts this routine it becomes darn near IMPOSSIBLE to break. The more you insist they eat it the more they fight you because they know eventually you'll cave because you've done it before.

(2) Picky parents!! If you don't eat it how can you expect them too?? Kids that don't see there #1 influence consume certain foods (usually vegetables) raises suspicion in the child's mind. They think, "If they are supposedly good for us, why aren't you eating them?" As the parent set the "healthy eating" example by eating the foods you want your child to eat regardless of liking them yourself.

(3)This last one is most common among families where one of the parents is home all day and the said "picky child" is not yet in school. I can't begin to count how many times a day the children tell me they are hungry. As an at home parent i hear the words, "I'm hungry" ALL DAY LONG. So what happens is the kid says this all day and more often then not the parent absent mindedly starts forking over snacks. anything from string cheese, crackers, fruit snacks, granola bars, cookies, etc. By dinner time the child is actually not being picky, but is stuffed. However, they may still pick at their dinner especially if there something on their plate they really like making it seem like they are hungry but being picky towards the rest of the meal.

Avoid choices! you are not a restaurant with a menu, the more choices you give the bigger the headache you are going to have.

If you want to give choices, then take them to the freezer and tell them this is for dinner how do you want us to cook it, what veggies do you want with it?

Show them some veggies and let them chop them with you..

If they don`t eat then so be it! They will maybe make a better choice next meal time!

Learning is part of getting to where you are as an adult

I'm lucky that I learned about healthy food before I had kids so they are used to stuff that other kids think is "weird" and they will eat fruits/veggies no problem. I pack their lunches and they never even have junk unless we are at someone's house so they don't even crave it. They will request water over juice just because they are used to it so that's what they like. Even though they are pretty good about food sometimes they will just be picky *kitten* for no reason. I'm not a catering service, I already modify if I know they hate something (like one hates zucchini so I'll swap out broccoli, etc) to what they like and if they throw a fit about it, too bad, that's what you get.

I would never force them to OVER eat or "clear your plate" but I'm not making another dinner because you want to be a whiner. You can have a banana and go to bed.

My son is easier than my daughter so I try to have my daughter help me cook it (or go pick a veggie I need from the yard) then she will be more likely to eat it because she was involved in the process of making it.

Do not force your kids to eat. It can cause life long issues with food.

If they are hungry they will eat. If you force them to eat, they will have bad associations with food and will not enjoy eating (it makes the situation much much worse). I am speaking from my own experience of having been forced to eat past the capacity of my stomach size, until I was in pain and would throw up, then I had to clean up the throw up (that's the short story). Meanwhile I was also being abused and never learned that it was not ok for my whole childhood to be about people forcing things on me and so I didn't know that I could tell and get help. When I say abuse, I'm not talking about discipline (I was an extremely well behaved child), I am talking about adults abusing children for their own pleasure. Your children need to learn to trust their own bodies and their bodies signals and that will benefit them in innumerable ways (that when they are in pain and they say stop that's supposed to be respected). That is an often overlooked aspect of our job as parents.

If they go hungry, they will learn to eat next time because of their own body's signals (don't let them pig out on junk food and they will eat healthy food when they are hungry).

Geez, I never force my kids to eat!

You know what foods I don't like? Mango and beets. I never eat them. Why would I keep trying them when I like tons of different fruits and veggies? I eat what I like. I've tried them more than once, spaced years apart, and I just don't like them.

My son won't eat tomatoes. So what? He also doesn't like dressing on his salad. My daughter does like dressing and she doesn't like fish.

There are SO MANY OTHER CHOICES out there that it's not worth fighting about. I let my kids have a say in what we eat for dinner because I love having a say in what I put in my body. Do you want this or this? Do you want it this way or that way? Who cares?

Don't you like having a say in what you eat?