Do you let your kids go hungry or force them to eat it?

Here's my question...when would they get a chance to pig out on the bad for you food that they like? If you're cooking healthy meals, then that's all the option they have. Sure, not all kids like all veggies or fruits, but don't give them the choice of blueberries or french fries...

In my house the kids have to try everything. Sure, they may not like it, but at least they've tried it. And after "trying" it a few times, they get used to it and they eat it no problem.

I didn't make all the changes at one time. Slowly we introduced new foods, but kept familiar favorites too (and we haven't banned any of the favorites, they just aren't a daily occurrence). Food shouldn't be a punishment for you or your kids. They should still be able to enjoy what you have on the table.

Exactly this. Even if I were making sudden, sweeping changes to my own diet, I would understand that for my kids (who theoretically, didn't make that choice themselves) I would need to make gradual changes. I make their favorite foods more healthfully, for instance. Junky food becomes more and more rare, but isn't altogether forbidden. (Otherwise you'll end up with teenagers who gorge on the stuff when they're not at home, or who have otherwise unhealthy attachments to food.) Making kids miserable with healthy food is just about the surest way to guarantee that - no matter what they force themselves to choke down now - they'll end up making unhealthy choices later on.

My tips for dealing with kids and food:

We always make sure that at every meal, there is at least one thing that each child can and will eat.

I involve them in meal planning and preparation. (If a kid helps make the salad, he's more likely to at least take a few bites when it's time to eat!)

I find out their preferences, and try to incorporate the healthy choices into the week.

If they don't like something prepared one way, then I'd try to find another way to prepare it that they DO like. And there are many, many ways to modify favorite treat recipes to make them less sugary or less fatty, or to add more nutrients, more protein, etc.

We don't demonize any foods here. None of it is forbidden - I don't think it's a great idea to set some foods up as that special.

We encourage them to try any new foods, and we introduce new foods regularly - but they don't have to ever clean their plate, or gag down something truly awful to them. (They know now that some people literally can taste more "bitter" than other people. Kids around 3-4 have the highest ability to taste bitter, which means they aren't faking when the spinach gags them. It's not put on; in the wild, it would protect them from eating plants that might poison them. They just have a better sense of taste than they will when they're 23 - but even as adults it varies widely from person to person.) Our chosen method is modeling. For example, I will try something new myself. I'll let them know what I thought of it, and whether I liked it or not, I'll say, "I'm so glad I tried that! I never had _______ before!" so that no matter what, they'll see that the experience of trying is positive, even if the taste was not.

Never force your children to eat things they hate. Try something else next time.

One small thing I did with my picky eater (ADHD, extreme sensitivity to texture) was take her to the grocery store with me. We bought one of every kind of apple being sold and the family had a taste test. Non-negotiable: she had to have an apple a day; negotiable: whichever kind she liked best. It worked. (Spartans won, BTW)

One small thing I did with my picky eater (ADHD, extreme sensitivity to texture) was take her to the grocery store with me. We bought one of every kind of apple being sold and the family had a taste test. Non-negotiable: she had to have an apple a day; negotiable: whichever kind she liked best. It worked. (Spartans won, BTW)

That's a fantastic idea! I have five kids, and I know they have apple preferences, but I can never remember which ones are the favorites. A taste test would be so fun, and lucky for us, this is the time of year to head to the pick-your-own orchards!

Let them go hungry. My philosophy is... a kid will eat when they are hungry. You are doing your kids a favor by introducing this new way of eating at a young age... their taste buds will adapt, as will yours.
Enjoy the road to health!!

I agree!!
When my kids don't eat what I serve them, they can go hungry. Even their pediatrician agrees with me and said it was ok, But I think normal Mom guilt kicks in (for me it does).

I would never let my child go hungry or force her to eat. If she doesn't want to eat her food because she isn't hungry at that moment that's fine but that doesn't mean that in an hour when she is hungry she can eat whatever she would like. I don't really care when she eats. What she is eating is more important to me.

It's taken my family about a year to come around to healthier food choices and portion sizes. I assure you that they are all alive and thriving. Many times I wondered exactly what you're asking but knew I didn't want to prepare two meals and most especially didn't want to prepare a less healthy choice for my husband and kids. Now they know better foods as well. Give it time, lots of time depending on their ages. They will eat. And they will get plenty of junk food choices inevitably as well. Just do your best at home. I believe they will be better off for our efforts at home.

I am fortunate to have 2 children that love healthy foods and fruits and veggies and we spend a lot of time talking about healthy food choices. Sure, they love the rare junk food items - chips or soda or whatever, but we don't buy them except for a rare occasion. What I do is cook homemade meals every day and I let them look at pictures and help pick out what foods sound good to them that week. That isn't saying that they choose the whole menu, but they do help. I also, have a few go to favorites tthat are healthy - beans and rice with lots of flavor and extra veggies or salmon with broccoli and whole wheat pasta. I do however, listen to what they say. I have one son that is more picky and has texture issues, particularly with fruits (can't do most melons or any canned fruit), but he can always choose another fruit. I have also started making protein bars with oats and nuts and seads, but throw a few chocolate chips in and they are a hit! I think the key to healthy eating is to make sure to add flavors to make it taste goods as well. Steamed veggies with little lemon juice and a sprinkling of parmesan or good tasting light salad dressings. Either way, my kids eat what's for dinner and if they don't like it, they have to wait until the next meal OR finish what they said they wouldn't eat. I have even been mean enough to make my younger son eat his breakfast for lunch before having lunch, but that is normally if he is throwing a fit because I didn't make him what he wanted, rather than a true distaste for something.

You aren't going to get turned in for providing a nutritious meal that your kid refuses to eat.

If my daughter doesn't eat what I make, she doesn't eat. End of story. I'm the grown-up, I make the rules and decide what is good for her. If she were in control, we'd be eating Lucky Charms and Nutella morning, noon, and night. Kids are not developed enough to make decisions like that.

If she is hungry later, she can have a piece of fruit. There is no access to junk food for her to "pig out" on.

*Edit to say that I always make sure there is something she likes on her plate - some apple wedges, yogurt, etc. And some nights, we have something I know she enjoys (whole wheat spaghetti & marinara for example). But, I don't make seperate meals, and I'm not a short order cook.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! And if you don't eat your meal, you're definitely not going to get to eat the things that you like later on because you're hungry. If you're hungry later, you'll get the same meal I gave you to eat earlier. They'll eat it eventually.