Online relationships

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245

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  • brighteyesxluv
    brighteyesxluv Posts: 334 Member
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    3 years :) strong.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
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    Would she be willing to visit? Have you met in real life?
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
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    yep it was the phone line, and I was on hold for 20 minutes! Will look for a lawyer, cheers. There is nothing I wouldn't do to be with her.

    Before spending big bucks on a lawyer, if you have not discovered it before, have a look at britishexpats.com specifically the USA forum.
    Loads and loads of good advice in the wikis, loads of knowledgeable people on the forum, and if it comes to a lawyer, people there may recommend lawyers they have used.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
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    they can work if both parties can make it work

    simple/difficult as that

    i've been in a few, and ultimately they've broken down for one reason or another.
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
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    No we've never met. We both agree that we would make the perfect couple, but you never know until you meet. It's just heartbreaking when it doesn't work out.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I don't think that it will work, with that distance and with children involved, especially if you can't travel. Real, relationships are not just talking, there's the physical intimacy and the physically being there when the other person needs you. You two don't have much to offer each other in reality, you can't help out with the kids or the house, you can't sit with her in the evenings or lie with her in the nighttime, you have no social life together etc...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,707 Member
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    Have you talked to her on skype? or just on the phone?
  • gr8grl68
    gr8grl68 Posts: 417 Member
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    They do work--I married my husband almost 6 years ago after meeting him online and doing the long-distance relationship for 1.5 years. However, if there's no way for you to meet in person, then I don't see how it can work--sorry. I had been interested in and had great conversations with other men before I met my husband, but once we met in person--ummmmm--NO. So the in-person thing is CRUCIAL.

    Good luck!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Why can't one of you simply take a two week vacation? It seems like before you spend at least some real time together, the discussion of moving to another country is... well... moot. But that's just my two cents.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?

    Were they violent crimes or with weapons or something? They don't want people with violent criminal pasts...
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    No we've never met. We both agree that we would make the perfect couple, but you never know until you meet. It's just heartbreaking when it doesn't work out.

    Why not spend some time without the stress of it HAVING to work? Just a simple visit.

    I know that if I spent all the time and money and effort that you're willing to spend, I know i would like a little more security than "We both think we're a perfect couple". I don't mean to be the raincloud on your love parade but yikes.
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
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    I know for a fact that they CAN work.

    My best friend met his wife online in a chat room. Neither were out there looking for a relationship but that's how they met. She lived in British Columbia and at the time he was station in Ft Bragg. They have now been married for 10 years.
  • embersfallen
    embersfallen Posts: 534 Member
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    It's very very hard. One I was just in ended last night with a definate air of finality....we had talked for 3.5 years....and met in person only a few times...... I thought this was my soulmate...but now he is with someone that was in the background and lived closer a lot of that time. I am in the US, he is Canada....I think they CAN work..but both people need to be walking in integrity, and willing to trully work at it. Distance is NOT an impossible thing.... You can find out a lot about people over phone, talking and skype...but there are definate barriers with such long distance. Someone will need to be willing to move to take that next step.
  • mjay107
    mjay107 Posts: 10
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    I think it works until you want to move the relationship to the next level. Then you have a big decision to make. And if you can't make it, well...
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
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    If neither person can or will move, I don't see the point. Calls and online communication and visits can sustain you for a long time, but I personally desire more out of a relationship than that.

    If you don't, then do what you want. I think you're both selling yourselves short, though.
  • HelloDan
    HelloDan Posts: 712 Member
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    I was 17 and convictions are at 18. Spoke to the Embassy and they've told me no way. :-(

    Not to be nosy... but are you a terrorist? Why the hell wouldn't they let you come here?

    Were they violent crimes or with weapons or something? They don't want people with violent criminal pasts...

    Not being rude, but have either of you guys ever had to deal with immigration?

    Even for a case that's clear cut it is a huge pain in the backside, and setting you back at least $1000, as soon as any complicating factors come into the mix, it becomes a whole barrel of fun!
  • Eddie274
    Eddie274 Posts: 156
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    My conviction was for violence. Far from my proudest moment, and have not repeated my mistake in the next 20 years, but as you say they don't like violent/sexual/drug/terrorist pasts, which I can understand to be honest. I do think 20 years with no more violence should count for something though.

    We have tried to skype but never actually managed it, with the time difference and her work load etc. Not through lack of trying though. Not being online at home doesn't help me either.
  • xSCiNTILLATEx79
    xSCiNTILLATEx79 Posts: 245 Member
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    I'm proof they can work too...3 years LDR with wonderful visits...He had never been in a online relationship and did not like the idea of it - we met through xbox gaming. He was sceptical and weary of it, but eventually he just couldnt resist anymore :love: He just left everything in CA and moved to me in Oregon 3 months ago and we couldnt be happier! :heart:

    Before that I was engaged to someone I met online we were together for 8 years and engaged, it didnt work out but I also dont consider it a complete fail - I learned alot and he was a great guy!

    I actually think you get to know the important parts of a person first that way...I loved his personality before I ever knew what he looked like because we played video games together and vise versa. Then we began talking more seriously and decided to see what each other looked like - we were pleased :)

    This one for you may not be "the one" but they definately can work. I never actually went out to an online dating service and met either of these men the first one, was just kind of an online community like MFP talking in forums and chat rooms the other we met randomly in a game lobby... I know successful ones and unsuccesful ones, guess it just depends on your path...good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Getting a Visa is no easy task... Just another odd thought, but did you look into getting a Visa to Canada just to perhaps be closer and see if you can travel back and forth and establish a real life relationship?

    Canada can be easier, I believe...

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