"You would be STUNNING if you just lost some weight"

I heard that the entire time growing up. Now that I have lost the weight, I hear comments like: "you're so thin. You could stand to gain a few pounds."

Yeh, I got the, "you have a cute face" comment a lot.

It's not a backhanded compliment. It's an insult. "You'd be pretty except for..." = you're ugly.

I'm not saying anyone here is ugly. I'm saying, perhaps the correct response is, "So you're saying I'm ugly?"

That's why it hurts when people say it. Bullies are mean. But since they aren't likely to steal your lunch money, you could also say, "Go away." Or "I don't care what you think."

My personal favorite was when someone told me "You would be so beautiful if you lost some weight!" :huh: Who say's stuff like that...They were right but REALLY who says that! LOL!

My dad told me that once. I have a cousin who used to model for local fashion coupon fliers and he told me I could be just as pretty as her if I lost weight. I took it as the greatest compliment.

Another thing to add to my "if I one day time travel" list of events where I would slap my younger self in the face.

Your beautiful now. If they gotta problem with it, tell them to shove it! Not to mention, todays idea of "beauty" for most people is ridiculous. Ive seen so called beautiful super models. Gross!!

THAT!!! Nevermind those other folk.

Ignore them. People like that will NEVER be happy. Seriously, I was 135lbs at 5'11 with DDDs and was told that I was fat. Really??? I could count my freaking ribs through my shirt. Then I had to have my ovary removed, gained 50lbs because of hormones, then I was put on hormones to control that and gained over 100lbs. So you can imagine the absolutely horrible comments I got then. I just wanted to crawl in a hole. I worked out and ate right but nothing would budge. Basically I gave up until recently. A friend with a lot of the same health issues lost a lot of weight and invited me to join this site. I've lost 37lbs, and I am looking forward to being healthy again. I think the meanest comments were from my mom. My mother is REALLY big, over 450lbs, and she used to tell me I was fat when I was a twig. God it used to make me mad. It took EVERYTHING I had not to grab a handful of her gut and scream "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CALLING ME FAT????" People who say mean things to you are only pointing out your "flaws" to feel better about themselves.

Has anyone ever gotten this "compliment" before? Why am I not stunning now? Idk, it just hurts...like the only way I'll ever be desirable is if I'm skinny.

All the time, especially from family. I just hit my mental mute button. I know I am fabulous :laugh: .

And you know what? So are YOU! :flowerforyou:

LOL! Still get that even after losing some weight... guess there's more I want to come off, but after a while you start to realize who the really nice people are at the end of it all :P and who love YOU for YOU

I get both sides of it.

"I'd do you if you lost 20lbs" (or similar comments I've read in this thread) Seriously? WTF? I'd be like "Too bad you'll never get the chance. I don't do dumb@sses"

"You'd be pretty if..." means "You are ugly." It isn't a nice thing to say.

"You have a pretty face."...well, at least they left the other part implied and didn't come right out and SAY it.

However...I'm not pretty. I never will be. Losing weight won't help with that...so at least folks who have had that said to them can take comfort in the fact that they have potential.

I'm the one with the awesome personality. And I seriously do have one. I'm funny, I'm smart, I'm a great friend, and my partner appreciates me for who I am and that's awesome.

But I'd like to know what being pretty is like, even if it's just for a little while.

Yup. But strangely only from family or my husband.

"I'm a Pre-Raphaelite woman in a Diet Coke world!"

Love this! XD

Bump! I was thinking the same thing!

I get it all the time." You have a pretty face but if you lost a few more pounds, you'd be gorgeous!" It hurts. And when you're the only curvy Asian in a pool of skinny size 0 Asian hotties, it's very easy to feel uncomfortable. I don't fit that stereotype of an "ideal" Asian woman. Sure, I'm short and my eyes are slanted but that's where the buck stops. Everyday I'm reminded of how I don't look like the other girl. I've even been told that I didn't look Asian enough. I'm not sure what that's suppose to mean but I'm pretty sure they were talking about my body type.:brokenheart:

I was told that a lot by my mom, and by the guys when i was in high school.

more women need to cultivate the fine art of telling people to STFU and not tying their emotions and SELF esteem to other people's opinion of them.

Oh yeah I have gotten this too! " You have a pretty face". "She's pretty but kinda big." Major ouch! :sad:

Luckily I found a man who loves me no matter what. The people that can't see past it , aren't worth your time.They won't ever treat you as well as some one who sees you for the beautiful person you are.