My Boyfriend Is Not Into Fitness - HELP!

. Ahhhh these are soo cuteeee

I believe you may need to change the way you approach your boyfriend with this problem.

I was super fit when I met my wife 25 years ago. Then over the years I got fat and out of shape. I'm talking about 40 lbs out of shape. Not very attractive if you know what I mean.

The thing is my wife never ever nagged me about it. Before mfp I had been a yo-yo dieter. I'd gain 25-40 and lose it and had done so four times.

Each time my wife would just make a suggestion and then leave it alone. This last time, while we were snuggled together watching tv one late night....she rubbed my big unattractive belly and said, "Fred... I love you and I really want you to be around with me for a very long time. Then she went back to watching t.v. That's all it took and I was off to the races.

Try talking to him one more time and attempt to get him to see that you not just talking about his physical appearance but his life and you guys life together.

That might just work.

Just my opinion.

You chose to be with him. Personally, I think you are the one that needs to change your attitude, like others have said, I understand you wanting him to be healthy, but if he's happy with how he is then it shouldn't matter! He will make the decision if he wants to lose weight. you shouldn't be trying to change the person you are with. Either deal with it and stay with him, or leave him if it means that much to you. His existence isn't there to suit you. He probably will want to lose weight one day, but I know personally that if you have someone going on about it, then its a serious step in the wrong direction.

...but I personally feel that if you really want to get in shape you will MAKE the time...

With this statement you nailed it. He has to WANT to change to MAKE the time. If he doesn't want to, he won't. I will also argue that I'd have a much harder time making time for exercise at any intensity after a 13 hour work day. Nothing you say or do can change that. You are doing the best you can by leading by example. As for being unattracted to him, that is normal. You have discovered a major difference in your lifestyles that leads to MANY different changes in hobbies. Despite what people say about opposites attract, I've found that common strokes keep people together. Your high activity has likely changed your diet, your routines and your outlook on life. Those are some MAJOR changes which need to be adjusted for and that he never signed on for. You're now at a natural turning point.

I will be a bit different from many people here, because I'm going to tell you working it out doesn't always work. If you cannot compromise on this (and given his lack of enthusiasim this may be the case), you will reach a decision point. Do not force your fitness beliefs on him, even if you're right. The yo-yo dieting that may ensure could harm his health. If the difference between his unhealthy life and yours is truly irreconcilable, then you both deserve better than dissatisfaction every time you come home.

Personally, my boyfriend lives a rather unhealthy life style aside from walking at work. However, we still have enough in common to make my day go. He understands I need exercise to cope with stress and encourages me to do so. He works with me on meals so that we can eat things that fit into my life an his. I in turn do not demand that he should exercise with me. This is MY hobby, not his. This is an example of things you'll need to do to make this work.

You've been going with him a year or so, you like most of the things about him. The only way you can motivate him is to keep motivating yourself. He should see how turned on you are from working out. He doen't have to go to a gym. He can start by eating right and maybe starting a running program.

Darling no one needs help from an online community to let them know they are falling out of love with their boyfriend. Otherwise his weight would never be an issue. End it now.

After almost 30 years of marriage let me say that the closer aligned your goals, the happier you will be. Health and fitness are not the top items, but certainly near the top of the list. You will have to decide if this is a deal breaker for the relationship. People can change, but generally don't. What you see now, is probably what you will contend with remainder of your relationship.

I think, I agree with you.

I can not believe the amount of people telling her to deal with it.

Seriously, he is a boyfriend, nothing more. This is why we date, to figure out what we want and what we do not want. Lord knows that had I not accepted anything less than exactly what I wanted, then I would not have the wonderful relationship I have now.

We deserve to have what we want, we do not owe anyone anything, PERIOD.

Hey, thanks for replying!
I've been very patient. I am not a mean person and will never tell someone that they are not good enough or that they are fat and all that other stuff...I myself have a low-self esteem. Especially since my ex (who was my fiancee) left me last year. I'm still bitter about the whole thing because we were together for seven years but him leaving me gave me the motivation to hit the gym....
fast forward to the new guy...
I just realize I am attracted to the guys with the nice bodies at the gym and I know he can get there. He's an awesome man but his health is a huge concern and sort of a turn off for me...how vain do I sound :-(

Reverse it....I would hate it if my fella wastn't that attracted to me any more and was window shopping for the next women!!!..I would want to be told .!!!I think you owe it to him to tell him.It will be hard..yet it is giving him the respect that you would want. treat people how you want to be treated.