Anyone with a significant other who is sabotaging them??

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  • GamerGurl729
    GamerGurl729 Posts: 286 Member
    Whether intentionally or unintentionally does anyone else live/date someone who sabotages their weight loss efforts? I live with my bf and he is the most unhealthy eater I've EVER seen! (Not to mention he's a type 1 Diabetic, so it's scary to watch what he's doing to himself) He himself is at least 50 lbs overweight and has no desire to lose weight. ( I never comment on his weight. It doesn't bother me...what bothers me is his health!) He is a farm boy and is totally uncompromising in his eating habits. It's just so frustrating for me to have his constant temptation in my face.

    My husband is EXACTLY the same way. Anyone with Type 1 Diabetes is the LAST person who should have these eating habits. However, since we've both been on here he's improved. He is nowhere near eating healthy, but he is reducing his portions and making smarter choices. But trying to force him to do something is like hitting a brick wall. I can only hope that he will start seeing how much better his health will be with healthier options and take that route.

    I feel for you, I know what it's like to try and make yourself healthier when you live with someone who's anything but. I worry constantly about the damage he's doing to his body and whether I will be a widow within the next 15-20 years (he's 27).

    What I've found is that I worry about me and only me. I can't make his choices for him, but I can control what I do. And I'm the one who cooks. If he doesn't like what I make, he doesn't have to eat it. But I'm sure as hell not going to go in there and make something else for him. I'm not a short order cook. Maybe you can continue to lead by example? I know it's hard when constantly faced with temptation, but the best thing you can do is make this all about YOU. And nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.

    Good luck!
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Stop calling it a journey!!!! ....
  • Hmmcglothl
    Hmmcglothl Posts: 51 Member
    Whether intentionally or unintentionally does anyone else live/date someone who sabotages their weight loss efforts? I live with my bf and he is the most unhealthy eater I've EVER seen! (Not to mention he's a type 1 Diabetic, so it's scary to watch what he's doing to himself) He himself is at least 50 lbs overweight and has no desire to lose weight. ( I never comment on his weight. It doesn't bother me...what bothers me is his health!) He is a farm boy and is totally uncompromising in his eating habits. It's just so frustrating for me to have his constant temptation in my face.

    My husband is EXACTLY the same way. Anyone with Type 1 Diabetes is the LAST person who should have these eating habits. However, since we've both been on here he's improved. He is nowhere near eating healthy, but he is reducing his portions and making smarter choices. But trying to force him to do something is like hitting a brick wall. I can only hope that he will start seeing how much better his health will be with healthier options and take that route.

    I feel for you, I know what it's like to try and make yourself healthier when you live with someone who's anything but. I worry constantly about the damage he's doing to his body and whether I will be a widow within the next 15-20 years (he's 27).

    What I've found is that I worry about me and only me. I can't make his choices for him, but I can control what I do. And I'm the one who cooks. If he doesn't like what I make, he doesn't have to eat it. But I'm sure as hell not going to go in there and make something else for him. I'm not a short order cook. Maybe you can continue to lead by example? I know it's hard when constantly faced with temptation, but the best thing you can do is make this all about YOU. And nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.

    Good luck!

    Thanks for your input!! My bf is only 24. I fear for his health in the future. I do try to lead by example. Hopefully it'll make a difference one day. I think I just need to get comfortable with realizing that I can't control how he treats his body. As much as I love him and want him healthy, he is always going to be making his own choices.
  • DantiaX
    DantiaX Posts: 23 Member
    The thing is that SO's can be the harbingers of the worst sort of sabotage. It can be accidental. Sometimes they are just trying to show they love you and only know to do it with food. Other times they are kinda jealous or think losing weight isn't worth the time because it won't work anyway. Luckily, for me, the conversation went like this.

    Me: "I can't be fat anymore. I have to eat different foods." Husbandface: " Okay. Let's do this"

    And we did. I can't eat dairy, because I'm lactose intolerant. He doesn't either (I don't make him, he just doesn't care either way an doesn't want me making two meals). I can't eat beef or pork, so he doesn't (When we go out he will, but not at home). We work out together and he helps me make sure I stick to my guns. I came to terms with having a food addiction and stopped eating certain things (like loaf bread. I can't NOT eat it) and he did too. He's lost as much weight as I have. The point is it's important the your SO is supportive. I can't do it alone and I shouldn't have too. Marriage is a together kind of thing. He didn't have to make all the changes with me but he did and I am so grateful for it. I would have been happy with the support part. I have very good friends whose husbands refuse to eat better or buy/cook things they can eat or actually be supportive emotionally supportive. ( like many posters have said they buy things that my girls can't have and kind of wave it around. I ask you would a recovering drug addict have self control if you waved drugs under their nose?) Because of this their weight loss has suffered.

    Basically, Keep it up ladies and gents. I believe in you. XD
  • nurse_kim
    nurse_kim Posts: 2
    I completely understand! My BF keeps saying he is onboard...The next hing I know he is ordering pizza and wondering why I won't have any! It can be very hard to stay on track!!! I even have a hard time getting him to go for a walk, but then he keeps saying he needs to get back into shape. His lack of motivation is hard on me sometimes, but I try to push through the bext I can!
  • cjgillespie
    cjgillespie Posts: 37 Member
    my husband used to have the absolute worst eating habits. he wouldnt eat breakfast, would wait to eat until he was 'too hungry to wait for food to cook', then would drive through mcdonalds and pig out. then usually follow that up with pizza. and he would carry around 2 liter bottles of pop. and he works third shift so on his breaks, him and the other guys would order more crap food. tacos, tamales, anything fried. I even bought him a nice little lunchbox/cooler so he could pack food to take. i made the mistake of looking in there once- filled with sour patch kids, doritos, snickers, and a sad squished cliff bar all the way at the bottom.

    luckily he has been supportive of my efforts and will eat (pretty much) whatever i cook. He can eat his crap when im not around. Ive learned that he loves artichokes, asparagus, and spinach. he will eat just about ANY food as long as i put it on his plate at dinner. I think he just doesnt THINK about making healthy choices. he eats what is easy for him.

    he is also only slightly overweight so he doesnt think it matters what he eats. he is 6'3 and around 210 but is very muscular.
  • PrettyGirlPayton
    PrettyGirlPayton Posts: 93 Member
    No. My boyfriend is verry supporting of ANYTHING I do.. He wants me to lose weight. I mean he can't keep his hands off me,but he does value my health. He was raised in Africa. He eats very healthy the majority of the time.. But stick to your plan. If he gets worse just nicely tell him he's ruining his health. Once you start making progress he will jump on board.
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
    I think I'm the sabotager haha..... :embarassed:

    My boyfriend eats healthy, works out, always encourages eating lean meats and helps me to watch my carbs, sugar, calorie intake. etc....

    Well, I LOVE to bake. I'll bake cookies, cakes, pies, cupcakes, you name it. And who ends up eating it? The bf. I doubt he would even want it if I wasn't always making it. He's a good sport though, he doesn't tell me not to bake because I knows I love it. And he really helps me by eating the majority of it because then I don't!

    Yep....I'm totally the sabotager. Sorry hun! :flowerforyou:

    Why don't you halve the recipes for cookies and cupcakes so he doesn't have as much to eat? I mean, since your know you're sabotaging him.

    Good thought! We have also been bringing the treats to work. It has been keeping the morale up in the office! =)
  • mtlmama
    mtlmama Posts: 4 Member
    WELL, IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU MUST SUPPORT EACH OTHER, THAT BEING SAID, PERHAPS IF YOU CONTINUED ON YOUR OWN HEALTHY PATH, HE WILL (HOPEFULLY) SEE THE BENEFITS AND JUMP ON BOARD, UNFORTUNATELY YOU CANNOT FORCE HIM, BUT PERHAPS IF YOU OFFERED TO PREPARE HEALTHIER MEALS/ACTIVITIES ETC, HE COULD AT LEAST BENEFIT FROM THAT?
    I HAVEN'T READ ALL POSTS, SO I MAY BE REPEATING SOMEONE ELSE'S RESPONSE. (SORRY)
    GOOD LUCK! :)
  • Phoenix_Warrior
    Phoenix_Warrior Posts: 1,633 Member
    I don't eat any different than I did before I started losing weight... My husband is very supportive of my habits. Especially when I share my pints of ice cream with him...
  • jent752012
    jent752012 Posts: 9
    OMGosh yes! They aren't doing it on purpose though. My husband is supportive in everything I do. Sometimes he will bring home chips and dip, ice cream, cookies, etc for him and the kids. He doesn't realize it's torture. Ugh! My parents are reeeeeally bad. Everytime I visit them, they always get fast food or take us to a restaurant that has nothing healthy. They both have health issues and it makes me sad that they won't change their diets - but that's up to them - I can't make them do it.

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