ADVICE NEEDED--Annoying sister in law
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OH, forgot to mention a comment she made to me two days ago.
We were in the kitchen...she was cooking with hot oil and I was by the microwave waiting for my tortillas. She comes behind me heading for the sink with the oil and says "what would you do if I threw this hot oil on your back, hahaha?" This was after an argument via facebook messaging with her a day before.
Like WTF? Deranged psycho much??0 -
WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.0
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7. they're basically living off our kindness but yet they feel they should have 1/2 of everything we have. ($900 rent and they only pay $350 plus 1/2 of bills)
Ok just to work for the devil pro bono
Short of $100 they ARE paying half. Yes it's not exactly half but I don't think that translates into "living off our kindness". Reading your rant I figured they weren't paying anything.
Granted I'm sure there are issues with who's buying food and such. But if they're paying half the bills and nearly half the rent I think "freeloading" is a bit extreme...0 -
Been there and done that - and it was not only with my parents (and younger brother at that time); but more recently with my wife's mother, father and sister. While my situation wasn't as bad as yours - both parents seems to help out cook and clean, etc - it still took it's toll on my wife and I's relationship. It's not easy, but it has to be done - they need to go. It will eventually come down to them or you and he'll have to pick. Hopefully he's a smart enough man to realilze that they will always be family, no matter if they are out of the house or not. You on the otherhand, if he truely loves you, he'll listen and make them go. What I had to do for my family was sign them up for low income housing. Not sure if there is any in your area, but I'd check. Good luck!0
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and if they can't live up to what you expect at YOUR home, then give them X amount of time to find a place before they need to be out....
True...they got upset most recently because I told them initially what the cleaning days were and they switched it by doing it one day early (which was one day after me doing it). She threatened me by saying that I should find a new babysitter. (she WAS watching them). So maybe I should do the same. Threaten them back to find a new place to live!
Take the money they give you for rent and utilities and stash it for a few months (don't tell them about this) until there is enough to get them moved into a place they can afford on one income (check into government housing). Then make sure you go with them to get everything set up (if you just give them the money, they are likely to spend it elsewhere).0 -
WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
Nevermind my question.
This just got good.0 -
OH, forgot to mention a comment she made to me two days ago.
We were in the kitchen...she was cooking with hot oil and I was by the microwave waiting for my tortillas. She comes behind me heading for the sink with the oil and says "what would you do if I threw this hot oil on your back, hahaha?" This was after an argument via facebook messaging with her a day before.
Like WTF? Deranged psycho much??
It was obviously a joke and you laughed so whats teh big problem huh?0 -
WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
that's funny. she only speaks Spanish. But dang, if you were her, then I'd be done with this all
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WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
Rut-Roh!0 -
Tell your hubby it's them or you. You shouldn't have to live like that just because someone else is irresponsible. That's why the government invented welfare and section 8 housing.0
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As others have said, the problem is with your husband. The moochy family is simply a by-product.
You need to have a talk with him, stat. Lay some boundaries...like they can stay for X amount of months and no matter what, after that, they need to go. NO MATTER WHAT.
Inviting family to stay without consenting your spouse...very, very uncool.0 -
1. You and your husband are the ones who opened your doors to THEM. You have every right to lay ground rules, especially since they pay less than half of the rent/utilities.
2. I understand that your husband "feels bad," however they need to learn how to be responsible. Explain to your husband that it isn't healthy for them to be mooching off of you two forever. In order for them to be responsible adults and good parents, they need to be able to take care of THEMSELVES.
3. Set some kind of time limit of how much longer you'll allow them to stay with you. Have your husband tell them this time limit. This will give them time to get their own place. That's perfectly reasonable.0 -
OH, forgot to mention a comment she made to me two days ago.
We were in the kitchen...she was cooking with hot oil and I was by the microwave waiting for my tortillas. She comes behind me heading for the sink with the oil and says "what would you do if I threw this hot oil on your back, hahaha?" This was after an argument via facebook messaging with her a day before.
Like WTF? Deranged psycho much??
oh. That's a scariness I would take on.....then she denies denies denies, right?
That's just psycho. You need to find somewhere else to stay. Seriously. And (like it needs saying) un-friend the nut.0 -
WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
that's funny. she only speaks Spanish. But dang, if you were her, then I'd be done with this all
you no dam well i speak english.0 -
WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
Nevermind my question.
This just got good.
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What kind of person makes a decision like that without consulting with their spouse?
Your primary problem is with your husband, Your inlaws are only secondary.
^^^^This, This, This^^^^ Ding, ding, ding!0 -
7. they're basically living off our kindness but yet they feel they should have 1/2 of everything we have. ($900 rent and they only pay $350 plus 1/2 of bills)
Ok just to work for the devil pro bono
Short of $100 they ARE paying half. Yes it's not exactly half but I don't think that translates into "living off our kindness". Reading your rant I figured they weren't paying anything.
Granted I'm sure there are issues with who's buying food and such. But if they're paying half the bills and nearly half the rent I think "freeloading" is a bit extreme...
Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example0 -
Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.0 -
I had a mooching brother-in-law once. Thankfully he didn't actually live with us, but he thought he had free reign over our house. After talking to my husband about it several times and nothing was resolved, I told him I wanted a divorce. That seemed to fix the problem. Now we rarely see him, I actually miss him a little now........0
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so you make your husband deal with your nonsense. #gladididntmarryher0
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Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????0 -
It's not always as simple when it's your family. My SIL and her then 11 year old moved in with us 'temporarily' for 6 months after their last incident of domestic violence which put her in the hospital with RCMP pressing charges without her cooperation. If you've dealt with this before in Canada, you realize how bad a situation that is
She was that f*cked up with substance abuse issues of her own. My husband was raised seperate from his sister and really only wanted to help her and I get that and asking your husband to choose between you or his family is only picking a fight. My husband regrets telling her she could stay with us because as he got to know his sister better, he found that he really didn't like her as a person yet he still loves her as a sister. 2 very long years plus 2 months, a living room set, two beds, miscellaneous house hold goods and we paid her damage deposit on an apartment to get them out of our house. Yup, but that was cheaper than a divorce. It was worse because he knew if he kicked his sister out, his niece wouldn't be taken care of or he would have kicked her out a lot sooner. No matter how much she complained to other people about how horrible it was to live in our home, she didn't look hard for her own place. I used to make myself feel better by printing out rental ads. Good luck, but you will be better off aligning with your husband than fighting over it. I look back and think if I'd started working a plan early instead of fighting with my husband, it wouldn't have taken as long to get rid of them. At the end of the day, we all want to help our family but we need to realize we can't help someone who won't help themself. 0 -
Up the rent. Split everything half and half, put up cleaning rotas, get up really early in the morning and potter about LOUDLY. If they are comfortable they won't leave.
But really why not just have a family meeting and have it all out. Tell your husband he needs to speak up for you!!0 -
7. they're basically living off our kindness but yet they feel they should have 1/2 of everything we have. ($900 rent and they only pay $350 plus 1/2 of bills)
Ok just to work for the devil pro bono
Short of $100 they ARE paying half. Yes it's not exactly half but I don't think that translates into "living off our kindness". Reading your rant I figured they weren't paying anything.
Granted I'm sure there are issues with who's buying food and such. But if they're paying half the bills and nearly half the rent I think "freeloading" is a bit extreme...
Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
YOUR kids scratched the TV? Why is that her problem?0 -
on the way home from work buy a 12 pack of busch light......sit outside alone and drink all of them....after ur done everything will be better0
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Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
Your kids should already be taught to know better. Next.0 -
Sounds like a very toxic situation for your marriage. Hubby needs to know you had it! They go or you go!0
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So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????
They're not "the kids she's babysitting". They're your kids. Your kids scratched your tv. Were you paying you sis-in-law for the babysitting? Or really, did you just leave the kids with her, figuring she owed you.
You have kids. They're going to ruin stuff. That's how it works.0 -
Freeloading....no...but since they've been living with us, they are responsible for certain things getting ruined in our house...while she "babysat" my kids, she failed to notice that they scratched up our 40 inch flat screen tv for example
Your kids scratched the tv and you're mad she didn't stop them? To the point where you blame her for it?
I'm on your side less and less in this.
Ohh I didn't see this, seems that you're maybe a little hard on her. It was your kid did the damage. Kids can't be controlled 24/7, your a mom you know what they can get up to if you take your eyes off them for a few seconds!
So, if you're babysitting a kid in someone elses house (remember this is my house, not hers) you are not responsible for damage to the peoples property because of your lack of control over the kids you are babysitting????0
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