ADVICE NEEDED--Annoying sister in law

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  • The_New_Christina
    The_New_Christina Posts: 818 Member
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    Wow! I'm sorry! I'm not married... but If my husband hypothetical Husband invited his sister to live with us I would N-O-T be happy about that... I know I'm going to sound like a monster for saying this... but I would give them a 6 month time frame to get a job and get out... I realize the economy is bad... But I truly believe that if you legitimately spend 40 hrs per week looking for a job, you will have a job within a month... It may just be working at McDonalds... but hey Debt collectors will take McDonald's money just the same as if it came from a CEO of a major corporation... Good luck with your situation.

    Funny thing is...she is a hairstylist, but her husband decided for her not to work so she could stay at home with the baby. She also made the decision that she will only clean (not him) and he only takes out the garbage (not her). Meanwhile my hubby and I split all the chores equally between the two of us. She can go back to work if she wanted. She just won't. So yeah, they got it good. If it weren't for us letting them live there so cheaply, theyd both have to get there arses to work! Just like me and my hubby both work.
  • sarahharmintx
    sarahharmintx Posts: 868 Member
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    Its time for him to choose. You or them. Be prepared to move out. I would NOT live with that **** for more than like 2 weeks and if their offspring is 7 months old then their using you and mooching off your husband needs to come to an end PRONTO.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,131 Member
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    The problem is between you and your husband. I agree that you need to learn to negotiate with your husband. Of course you're the bad guy when it is three against one.

    This is a tough one. I'd find somewhere else to stay if it is really intolerable, but it sounds like it is just inconvenient. I hate to say it, but the more little rules you can create, the more likely they will get tired of it. I'd love to hear the private conversations the sister is having with the loser husband. :laugh:
  • slepygrl
    slepygrl Posts: 249 Member
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    Stop dealing with them. This is your husbands mess. HE SHOULD DEAL WITH THIS!!
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    What kind of person makes a decision like that without consulting with their spouse?

    Your primary problem is with your husband, Your inlaws are only secondary.

    ^ I would be more worried that your husband doesn't seem to be concerned that you can't sleep, keep your place tidy, or feel comfortable in your own home. If he doesn't make you a priority then that's where your problem lies. Family is important, but this is your home . Some solution needs to be reached mutually.
  • crazyellybean
    crazyellybean Posts: 999 Member
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    welcome to 2012 where it's ok to be a freeloader
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
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    What kind of person makes a decision like that without consulting with their spouse?

    Your primary problem is with your husband, Your inlaws are only secondary.

    Totally agree. Honestly I am appalled by your husband's behaviour. You need to talk to your husband and make him understand that the stress this is putting on you and your relationship must be his top priority. What would happen if you got into a fatal car accident from being tired because your inlaws kept you up late at night? His sister is an adult and has to learn to take care of her own family. You have been more than generous with the help you have already provided. Time for them to stand on their own 2 feet, otherwise they never will. Be firm and give him a deadline to get them out. If they don't leave, then you should.
  • The_New_Christina
    The_New_Christina Posts: 818 Member
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    The problem is between you and your husband. I agree that you need to learn to negotiate with your husband. Of course you're the bad guy when it is three against one.

    This is a tough one. I'd find somewhere else to stay if it is really intolerable, but it sounds like it is just inconvenient. I hate to say it, but the more little rules you can create, the more likely they will get tired of it. I'd love to hear the private conversations the sister is having with the loser husband. :laugh:

    Yeah, I'm hoping that if I push their buttons hard and long enough, they'll get out, but then again...they have it easy...why would they right?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,131 Member
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    ...on my little rules thing.....start complaining about the type of deodorant they use, and the color of his hair, and the TV shows they like, and how their talking annoys you...do it when your husband isn't there, then deny deny deny...I know I'm going to Hell. It's okay, I have a stool reserved at the bar.
  • The_New_Christina
    The_New_Christina Posts: 818 Member
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    ...on my little rules thing.....start complaining about the type of deodorant they use, and the color of his hair, and the TV shows they like, and how their talking annoys you...do it when your husband isn't there, then deny deny deny...I know I'm going to Hell. It's okay, I have a stool reserved at the bar.

    :laugh:
  • The_New_Christina
    The_New_Christina Posts: 818 Member
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    OH, forgot to mention a comment she made to me two days ago.

    We were in the kitchen...she was cooking with hot oil and I was by the microwave waiting for my tortillas. She comes behind me heading for the sink with the oil and says "what would you do if I threw this hot oil on your back, hahaha?" This was after an argument via facebook messaging with her a day before.

    Like WTF? Deranged psycho much??
  • HottestMama2013
    HottestMama2013 Posts: 3
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    WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    7. they're basically living off our kindness but yet they feel they should have 1/2 of everything we have. ($900 rent and they only pay $350 plus 1/2 of bills)


    Ok just to work for the devil pro bono


    Short of $100 they ARE paying half. Yes it's not exactly half but I don't think that translates into "living off our kindness". Reading your rant I figured they weren't paying anything.

    Granted I'm sure there are issues with who's buying food and such. But if they're paying half the bills and nearly half the rent I think "freeloading" is a bit extreme...
  • SgtPigg
    SgtPigg Posts: 2
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    Been there and done that - and it was not only with my parents (and younger brother at that time); but more recently with my wife's mother, father and sister. While my situation wasn't as bad as yours - both parents seems to help out cook and clean, etc - it still took it's toll on my wife and I's relationship. It's not easy, but it has to be done - they need to go. It will eventually come down to them or you and he'll have to pick. Hopefully he's a smart enough man to realilze that they will always be family, no matter if they are out of the house or not. You on the otherhand, if he truely loves you, he'll listen and make them go. What I had to do for my family was sign them up for low income housing. Not sure if there is any in your area, but I'd check. Good luck!
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    and if they can't live up to what you expect at YOUR home, then give them X amount of time to find a place before they need to be out....

    True...they got upset most recently because I told them initially what the cleaning days were and they switched it by doing it one day early (which was one day after me doing it). She threatened me by saying that I should find a new babysitter. (she WAS watching them). So maybe I should do the same. Threaten them back to find a new place to live!


    Take the money they give you for rent and utilities and stash it for a few months (don't tell them about this) until there is enough to get them moved into a place they can afford on one income (check into government housing). Then make sure you go with them to get everything set up (if you just give them the money, they are likely to spend it elsewhere).
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.

    Nevermind my question.

    This just got good.
  • HottestMama2013
    HottestMama2013 Posts: 3
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    OH, forgot to mention a comment she made to me two days ago.

    We were in the kitchen...she was cooking with hot oil and I was by the microwave waiting for my tortillas. She comes behind me heading for the sink with the oil and says "what would you do if I threw this hot oil on your back, hahaha?" This was after an argument via facebook messaging with her a day before.

    Like WTF? Deranged psycho much??

    It was obviously a joke and you laughed so whats teh big problem huh?
  • The_New_Christina
    The_New_Christina Posts: 818 Member
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    WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.

    that's funny. she only speaks Spanish. But dang, if you were her, then I'd be done with this all :)
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    WOW Christina you could have talked to ME rather then posting this **** for me to find. Dont worry we will be out ASAP.

    Rut-Roh!
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
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    Tell your hubby it's them or you. You shouldn't have to live like that just because someone else is irresponsible. That's why the government invented welfare and section 8 housing.

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