ADVICE NEEDED--Annoying sister in law

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  • vbrent07
    vbrent07 Posts: 115
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    When I was living with my sister and her family a while back I paid rent, groceries, bills besides just mine, and cleaned up after myself at ALL times. I also watched my nephew for free. I felt that since they let me live with them I needed to chip in whatever way I possibly could.
    They need to start having some respect for you and your husband and start cleaning up after themselves! Living with other people is extremely stressful so if you feel you can't do it you need to talk to your husband and either come up with some rules that all of you can agree on or they need to leave.
  • Terryism
    Terryism Posts: 314 Member
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    Basically I agree with Brett on all counts. You are just pissed that your husband made a decision without consulting you (I get the sense this isn't the only time he's done this....), and instead of confronting this situation head on, you've decided to cry to the internet, and treat your family with passive-agressive matyrdom.


    Stand tall, take responsibility for your fault in the situation, and ask for an amicable resolution between you and your husband. Hopefully you haven't damaged your relationship so much in this that it doesn't all work out in the end.

    Would you not be upset if your kids got kicked out of their room so that your pregnant sister n law could have a room to sleep in? If I'm ranting here its because I'm trying to get rational people that maybe have been in this situation to give me sound advise because I don't want to cause a rift between siblings, but at this point they both need to realize the issue here.

    I could have solved this whole situation here with this: "honey, let them stay in our room. I'll sleep with the kids, you can have the couch."
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    OH, forgot to mention a comment she made to me two days ago.

    We were in the kitchen...she was cooking with hot oil and I was by the microwave waiting for my tortillas. She comes behind me heading for the sink with the oil and says "what would you do if I threw this hot oil on your back, hahaha?" This was after an argument via facebook messaging with her a day before.

    Like WTF? Deranged psycho much??

    What? Does your husband know about this? And he is okay with that? I was going to agree with most everyone who said talk to husband, set out a timeline and some rules, etc, being fair. But this changes my opinion. They need to go, now. Or you go now, for the safety of you and your children.
  • Vnm77
    Vnm77 Posts: 32 Member
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    What kind of person makes a decision like that without consulting with their spouse?

    Your primary problem is with your husband, Your inlaws are only secondary.

    AGREED!!!
  • needles85365
    needles85365 Posts: 491 Member
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    You might need to have a 3rd party negotiator when you sit down. It might help keep tempers intact so the problem can be discussed. Best of luck that's a tough situation to be in.
  • ahjenny
    ahjenny Posts: 293 Member
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    If they're not on your lease, it might be possible to be evicted for having too many people living in too small a space. At our townhome, I believe we can have 4 adults and 4 kids, or something like that. You may want to reread your lease. There may be legalese that states if someone is living there more than a week or two, that they may need to be added to the lease. It could be something that you and your husband use to get your in-laws out. Good luck!
  • mrs_deg1983
    mrs_deg1983 Posts: 157
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    What kind of person makes a decision like that without consulting with their spouse?

    Your primary problem is with your husband, Your inlaws are only secondary.





    agreed
  • StrawberrySuzyQ
    StrawberrySuzyQ Posts: 107 Member
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    You mention that when you bring up the issue his reply is: It's my sister.
    Sounds EXACTLY like my ex, whose answer to me was: It's my sister, what am I supposed to do? It's my father, what am I supposed to do?

    HERE is what HE needs to know: When you two married, YOU became his family and his first and foremost obligation became YOU, not any brothers, sisters or parents....YOU. Remind him of his commitment that he made when you got married and that, while you supported his decision to help out his sister while she was pregnant, her child is now 7 months old and he needs to consider your physical and emotional health.

    Be willing to make a compromise, perhaps stating first how much it meant to you when he was willing to help her out when she was in need, yet following that up with the fact that you need your personal space, time and sleep. Make a suggestion, such as, I would like to see them out in a month, yet I understand some things take time, so by the time the baby is a year old I would like them moved out. Express, in a kind way, what your needs are and how they are not being met by them living there.

    At least that is what I would do. I tried the above advice with my husband but he cared more about his father and sister than he did about me, which he showed through his actions over the period of many years. I hope your husband is more reasonable than mine was.
  • Yieya
    Yieya Posts: 168 Member
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    Sorry dear, you married into a Spanish family, this is what you get. This is their culture.

    STEREOTYPES ARE FUN....

    Wait.. no they're not. :noway:

    Yeah..my vision just went burry with rage when I saw this...I'm going to back out now before someone gets hurt

    tLOL, Bring it.

    BTW, this is true with both the italian and spanish sides of my family. So before you accuse me of being a bigot, maybe you should find out a little more about me.
    Saying awful things about your own culture doesn't make it ok.


    She is just upset cause HER family lacks manners... My HISPANIC family would never treat each other like that.
  • Yieya
    Yieya Posts: 168 Member
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    What kind of person makes a decision like that without consulting with their spouse?

    Your primary problem is with your husband, Your inlaws are only secondary.

    Exactly this. Tell hubby they go or you do and stick to it.


    I have to agree... My hubby would never give that invite without talking to me. I wouldn't say no but we would have to talk about rules and a time frame.

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