Mean Girls @ the Gym

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  • nofailureallowed
    nofailureallowed Posts: 51
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    I'm %100 sure. I plan on just addressing it today.
    I'm going to play Devil's advocate here and believe me, I've been in the same position as you.....

    Are you sure they are giggling about you? I am a die-hard Zumba girl and we have a group of normal ladies that attend (and we've been together over 1 year). We stand in a group sometimes before class and giggle but NEVER about anyone at the gym. We also exchange looks in class but it's not about anyone in particular...sometimes it's about a song we are all sick of hearing or whatever.

    If you are 100% SURE they are talking about you, address it. Otherwise, please don't assume that they are saying anything about you or they are "mean girls". Keep on working out and keep on going to class. They don't own the gym and you have every right to be there for your body and your life! Good luck!!!
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I unfortunately had the same issue, but mine was just with one girl, not a group of girls. I let it go for a while, but eventually I got sick of it. The gym is a place I go to get healthy and to workout. Enough with the "High school" Drama. I was sick of her starring and stink eye, so I just casually walked up to her, with a smile on my face and asked if there was something I could help her with. She was taken aback and just nodded no. I then just told her that I would appreciate it if she stopped starring. Since then, I have had zero issues with her. We actually smile at each other when we see each other at the gym now. I wasn't rude at all, I just wanted to let her know that I wasn't going to let her childish games effect me.

    Also, I know this may seem like "telling" but if you don't feel comfortable approaching them yourself. Just tell the associates at the gym. Just say "Hey, there is this group of girls, that are starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I'd figure I let you know first, instead of me handling the issue myself" The associates won't rat you out either, they will just say that there have been complaints with their behaviour in the class.

    Good luck! And in the grand scheme, use it to your benefit as motivation!


    What you did was absolutely brilliant. Just wanted you to know that. :flowerforyou:
  • ForeverChasingTheSunsets
    ForeverChasingTheSunsets Posts: 91 Member
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    The best way to get back at them is stay positive. Walk in there with a big smile and hello. Show them that you are better than them. Your gym membership is no less than theirs! Keep pushing because you are worth it. You'll be at their level soon.

    Edited to add... In fact, I totally respect anyone who walks into a gym for the first time and the first few weeks because it takes a lot of courage to do it. It's the first step of the rest of your life. :o)
  • nofailureallowed
    nofailureallowed Posts: 51
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    I'm going to do just that...I've been trying to avoid approching them but it seems like I'm going to. I just find it annoying. Thanks alot!
    I unfortunately had the same issue, but mine was just with one girl, not a group of girls. I let it go for a while, but eventually I got sick of it. The gym is a place I go to get healthy and to workout. Enough with the "High school" Drama. I was sick of her starring and stink eye, so I just casually walked up to her, with a smile on my face and asked if there was something I could help her with. She was taken aback and just nodded no. I then just told her that I would appreciate it if she stopped starring. Since then, I have had zero issues with her. We actually smile at each other when we see each other at the gym now. I wasn't rude at all, I just wanted to let her know that I wasn't going to let her childish games effect me.

    Also, I know this may seem like "telling" but if you don't feel comfortable approaching them yourself. Just tell the associates at the gym. Just say "Hey, there is this group of girls, that are starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I'd figure I let you know first, instead of me handling the issue myself" The associates won't rat you out either, they will just say that there have been complaints with their behaviour in the class.

    Good luck! And in the grand scheme, use it to your benefit as motivation!
  • TriClaudia
    TriClaudia Posts: 51 Member
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    I so agree with killing them with kindness. An undeserved smile goes a long way. It also communicates that you are not intimidated.

    I have to disagree with the get in/get out philosophy. Whether you are intimidated or not, it appears you are. My gym is on a college campus and is dominated by students. I am neither their age, nor their body type. While my experience doesn't include the blatant disrespect that your situation involves, I have had to deal with the intimidation I felt as a middle aged woman who needs two of the gym's towels to cover up in the locker room. All of that said, I found that as I expanded my boundaries and claimed my space -- in a body pump class, on a bike in spin class and embraced asking for help, I felt all the more entitled to take up the space.

    So I say, smile, stake your claim, get all the help from the trainer you can, and stay for as long as you want. Maybe make a few other friends in the process. You pay for your membership. OWN it.
  • nofailureallowed
    nofailureallowed Posts: 51
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    Thanks again everyone! I'm going to address it, honestly I tried to avoid it because I can be a bit rude if I'm annoyed or feel attacked. But in this case I'll approch it as nicely as I can..I'll update you on how it goes! LOL
  • HeavyLiftGirl
    HeavyLiftGirl Posts: 1,267 Member
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    Prove them wrong by working harder. Lose your weight and kick *kitten*, and then show them how much hotter you are compared to them! Knock their biitchy socks off!
    For now though-- kill them with kindness.
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    Some people never take it out of high school, do they?

    Whatever you do, don't do what I did: whip the ringleader's *kitten* in the parking lot. :laugh:
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Kill them with kindness! Seriously, nothing shuts people up or makes them realize they are being a d-bag quicker than laughing it off with them or just smiling genuinely at them. They want to see you be upset or rattled, when you don't give that to them they SHOULD move on. Hope it helps!

    I concur
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
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    every gym, every class has them. You got to learn to stand proud and ignore the mean ppl in your life. its them, not you. they have the problem.
  • ewhsweets
    ewhsweets Posts: 167 Member
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    Kill them with kindness! Seriously, nothing shuts people up or makes them realize they are being a d-bag quicker than laughing it off with them or just smiling genuinely at them. They want to see you be upset or rattled, when you don't give that to them they SHOULD move on. Hope it helps!

    D' BAGS indeed!!! One of my favorite descriptions...Agree 100%, go to the gym look right at them with a great big smile and don't say anything, it will piss them off! Continue to stay motivated and work your tail off so you can power through your boot camp and come in looking better than they do...because you've focused and they've been distracted and spending their time chatting instead of working out

    Unfortunately some of us girls are petty and aweful :(
  • schulze1975
    schulze1975 Posts: 14
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    if they focus so much on judging and "giggling" like little *****es then they are not putting 100% into the workout. If you do keep ignoring them..you'll be blowing past them in the workouts since you're focused on getting stronger :)
  • WhatDoesLisa
    WhatDoesLisa Posts: 214
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    Stay positive, use it as motivation. Nothing would shut them up if you keep working hard and some day come in looking way better than them. Always use positive motivation even with negativity. Losing weight is mostly mental, conquered that and you will win.

    Awesome advice. You can lose wieght but they will always be ugly people.
  • vendygirl
    vendygirl Posts: 718 Member
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    I say confront them with kindness. Simply ask "is there something I can help you with" Or "did you want to address me?" And be sure to let your trainer know that you don't appreciate their behavior. Every gym has some a-holes.
  • allisonmrn
    allisonmrn Posts: 721 Member
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    When other people feel the need to ridicule, correct, make fun of, or put down others, it is often a result of their own self esteem issues. I would ignore it as best you can and focus on having fun and burning some cals. Enjoy your fitness and weight loss journey. xx
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Don't put up with that crap, gym memberships are way too expensive to feel like you're back in highschool. Next time they start giggling when you need help turn around and say "Am I amusing you?" Odds are they will be so embarrased they'll cut the *kitten*.
  • FourLynne
    FourLynne Posts: 135 Member
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    Sad, they should be uplifting you instead of trying to drag you down emotionally. They are the ones that have a worse problem. Put it in the perspective of the Princess Diaries. I remember the Princess talking to a mean kid and saying something like she knew she was a dork but she could grow out of it, but that mean kid would always be a jerk. Ergo, you will lose weight and get stronger but they will always have a low self-esteem that is the root cause for them to step over people. Also, my profile is labeled "I'm On A Mission." I borrowed this phrase from an article I read years back about a woman that went to a swimming pool and caught a lot of stares because she was obese. She said something that has stuck with me for life and that is "Let them stare, I'm on a Mission!" You can do it! I have faith in you! :-)
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    It's probably all in your head. They have never said anything mean to you, they have laughed and "kind" of ignored your questions. You can't even be sure they were laughing at you.

    This is a the problem with women. I honestly doubt they are all over there, singling you out, and making fun of you. They are probably just laughing and having a good time together.
  • embercakez
    embercakez Posts: 141
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    I'm probably a mean girl at the gym. *flips hair*

    Seriously though just brush them off...you are there for you! Keep kickin' butt and show em what you are made of!
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    It's probably all in your head. They have never said anything mean to you, they have laughed and "kind" of ignored your questions. You can't even be sure they were laughing at you.

    This is a the problem with women. I honestly doubt they are all over there, singling you out, and making fun of you. They are probably just laughing and having a good time together.

    Or, she could be right and they could be cliquey, snotty-*kitten* overgrown cheerleader types. Maybe it's all in THEIR head...why do some people always say that the one being singled out is the one with the problem? :grumble:

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